Does it seem odd that so many of my BF's exes cheated on him?
Q. My boyfriend had one wife and three girlfriends, all of whom cheated on him. He is hard to reach emotionally sometimes and I think he is guarded due to these past experiences. I have told him I am not them. I was thinking. Does it seem odd ...
A. 19 December 2015: OP, you're assuming they have cheated. That everything he says about them is true and accurate. You have nothing but the say so of a bitter, angry man who, CLEARLY, has an axe to grind with women.
I'm sure he's not an asshole ALL of the time bec... (read in full...)
Does it seem odd that so many of my BF's exes cheated on him?
Q. My boyfriend had one wife and three girlfriends, all of whom cheated on him. He is hard to reach emotionally sometimes and I think he is guarded due to these past experiences. I have told him I am not them. I was thinking. Does it seem odd ...
A. 18 December 2015: It is odd and a potential red flag.
It suggests to me that either he is drawn to troubled women or, FAR MORE LIKELY, scapegoats women for all of his failures. Accusing them of some wrong doing allows him to avoid looking at his own.
Did you... (read in full...)
Was it just a joke to him? He e called me PG and text me a pig cartoon
Q. Hi, Thanks for reading my post. English is not my native language I need advice. I am trying to the find right person. I started online dating . I met few guys but things did not work out. Its almost a month a guy tried to reached me. He ...
A. 18 December 2015: It was no joke and this is far from a simple case of bad manners. It's a red flag.
He should have been blocked/deleted right after that email and you should have had no contact with him since.
Asking for pictures after a two week disappearan... (read in full...)
My boyfriend suggested an open relationship
Q. Hi I'm a 22 and so is my boyfriend. One year ago, at the beginning of our relationship I felt loved, wanted and I trusted him. I loved giving bjs, he loved receiving them and we had sex several times a day. Now it's a bit different. He...
A. 17 December 2015: This open relationship nonsense is his way of securing another relationship, or at least a steady arrangement, with someone else before he lets you go. The same way you'd find a new apartment or a new job before turning in your notice at the old ... (read in full...)
What could have happened to this great guy I corresponded with and did meet, once?
Q. A man I am extremely interested in is supposedly in the counter intelligence community in the Middle East. It is hard to determine if this is so as these individuals can never speak very much about their work and you can only operate on blind fa...
A. 17 December 2015: We have no idea who this kind man really is, Scottie. All we can do is guess and we have.
He may be the real deal and is out on a mission. He may be a scammer or he may be a guy who wanted to move on and took the cowards way out. Only he knows. W... (read in full...)
He says we can't date one another but then acts as if we are
Q. So long story short, after getting coffee he told me he couldn't date as he only dates Christian girls. Forward two months later and he's acting like we're a couple in everyway. I've been overseas for a month but he's messaging me everyday, say...
A. 17 December 2015: His long term interest is in a Christian woman, regardless of how much playing around he does now. So just go with that. There is no point in waiting for him to clarify anything.
And I don't trust someone who says one thing but does another.... (read in full...)
What can I do about threats my ex is alleged to have told my sister, all about my planned trip to see my new Bf?
Q. I was with my ex boyfriend for 3 months and to to say the least he was difficult and seemed to think he was some kind of father figure to me as my parents are dead and he was 14 years older than me Now I have met a guy on America who I have planned ...
A. 17 December 2015: Agreed. And if you're posting stuff about this upcoming trip (or anything else for that matter) on Facebook and you and your ex have mutual friends, then stop it. The whole world does not need to know your plans. If he does have the right flig... (read in full...)
We've been on 5 or 6 dates but he still won't add me to Facebook
Q. I've been on about 5-6 dates with this guy who I met on online dating. At the moment it seems to be going really well. He makes the most to see me in his spare time, even if he has other plans, he'll try and fit in seeing me.. He's taken me on lo...
A. 17 December 2015: Personally, I think it's a bit early to be adding each other to Facebook. Yes, folks add new platonic friends on this soon, but when it comes to someone you're dating, the stakes are much higher.
... (read in full...)
Do I give him a heads up? Go shopping with him despite what I know? Or just drop him and move on?
Q. Should I give this guy a chance? For the past year I have been online dating, I have deleted my profiles now as I've not had much luck with it and have been messed about by one guy I really liked. Since July I have been chatting to this other g...
A. 16 December 2015: I think you need to stop beating around the bush and be more direct about what you want. You pull back and tell him you're not into texting relationships then you tell him you're schedule is open. He might have taken this to mean you liked him ... (read in full...)
Is it bad for me to get mad with him? Or am I justified in feeling this way?
Q. I have been with my daughters dad for three years. We've had our ups and downs but have managed to stay together for the most part. Well, in July and August we separated due to him being really different so I packed up and left. We were still being ...
A. 15 December 2015: I can understand you don't like it, but i don't think you have a right to confront him about it. You left him, perhaps rightly so. The fact that you muddied the waters by continuing to have sex with him isn't something you can lay entirely at his ... (read in full...)
Why do people feel the need to try to set me up with guys I'm not interested in?
Q. This happens to me constantly, and it always puts me in an awkward position. I am almost never interested in the guy they've chosen for me, and then I feel guilty a.) because I feel I'm disappointing the friend who is doing the setting up, and b.) ...
A. 13 December 2015: People have no idea something bothers you, or how much, when you're too nice about it. And they won't be compelled to change their behaviour if they do when they never have to suffer the discomfort their actions bring about.
The next time they try... (read in full...)
What shall I do? Is my family right or just being narrow minded?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for few months now, we're both serious on getting married however my family are not keen due to the guys reputation regarding him being a player and being divorced before as well as being a control freak, the thing is ...
A. 13 December 2015: Your family is right and he's losing interest.
Men like him are not worth the trouble. Please listen to your family. ... (read in full...)
How can I make him leave his girlfriend for me???
Q. So long story short, (and don't hate me) but I just recently started cheating on my bf of 4 years (this is the first time I've ever done it and we also don't live together) with a guy who also has a gf that he lives with and they have a 6 year old ...
A. 13 December 2015: You don't live with your boyfriend so your finances aren't tied up together so why are you keeping your boyfriend around? What is the point to all this subterfuge?
He's in an unhappy relationship with his girlfriend but he can't leave her because.... (read in full...)
I am worried that raising this issue will ruin my friendship with my friend. But do I confront her about my concerns?
Q. My friend and her fiancé came to visit me at home yesterday. Her fiancé used our toilet which is upstairs (our house only has 1 toilet). He was in there a while and when he came back down he started asking me if I know where he could buy a Ferrari ...
A. 13 December 2015: Something I forgot to add...
Your husband is justifiably annoyed about this, but he would be more circumspect in his response had it been one of his friends who had crossed this line. So don't be brow beaten or guilt-tripped into making a bigger s... (read in full...)
I am worried that raising this issue will ruin my friendship with my friend. But do I confront her about my concerns?
Q. My friend and her fiancé came to visit me at home yesterday. Her fiancé used our toilet which is upstairs (our house only has 1 toilet). He was in there a while and when he came back down he started asking me if I know where he could buy a Ferrari ...
A. 13 December 2015: I agree that it's appropriate for you to say something, but I would wait until she contacts you for some reason. Reaching out to her puts you in the weak spot.
Be a little cooler than normal, and when there is a pause in the conversation, calmly s... (read in full...)
My morther's behaviour at my wedding upset me
Q. I got married 2 months ago and I noticed that on my wedding day my mother was very cold towards me. Just to give you a brief outline- my mother is a control freak and at times can be toxic. As a child I suffered greatly with her being both ...
A. 13 December 2015: Yes and yes. Not when I married but at other events. I had some of the same issues with my mother growing up and she became this all powerful being whose facial expression could make or break the day. I tried 'the talk' more than once over t... (read in full...)
Does he just like me for sex?
Q. A few weeks ago, I met this guy and we really hit it off. Great conversation, playful flirting, consistent communication. Had an amazing date, had sex on the first date because we simply couldn't keep our hands off each other. Chemistry off the ...
A. 13 December 2015: That's the risk of having sex so soon.
I suggest you give him a chance to get to know you outside the bedroom by planning dates for public places (and during the day when possible). Drinks at a bar can lead to sex, at the very least to intoxica... (read in full...)
Is he worth the chance or should I move on?
Q. Hi all. Would it work? The guy I'm about to date is 42 years old with 4 kids and still stay with his parents. I'm 35 with no kid and own my own house. All I want to know is if this guy, is he worth a try to maybe have a successful relationship as ...
A. 13 December 2015: For some it does work, but my personal opinion...if this were me...the four kids is enough for me to move on. Living with his parents is not really a good sign, but it would depend on why and what sort of person he is, how his life is going besides ... (read in full...)
Was this a marriage proposal?
Q. I'm not sure if I got a marriage proposal last night or not. I know that sounds strange, let me explain. It was a spur of the moment kinda thing, no ring or anything. We were walking around our local park which is decorated in christmas lights i...
A. 13 December 2015: I agree with Honeypie. ... (read in full...)
My mother is behaving differently a year after my father's death
Q. my dad passed away last yr in dec. i m living with my mom and younger brother. from some days iam seeing changes in my mom's behavior. i checked her phone nd thr i saw pic collages of my mom and my uncle who is my mom's frnd's husband. im totally ...
A. 12 December 2015: Your mother probably misses your dad and she may want companionship. Nothing wrong with that.
I really think you should stop snooping through your mother's things and give her the privacy she's entitled to as a grown woman.
If she is dating, t... (read in full...)
Former FWB relationship, am I just a text buddy to him now?
Q. A guy ive known for two years texted me to see how I am. We have had sex in the past and I know he doesn't want more from me because he as never took me out and as only got intouch when he wants sex. He texted me a week ago and I said when shall we ...
A. 12 December 2015: Instead of actively seeking a man, why not pursue hobbies you enjoy or take up classes to learn a new skill? They can help you build confidence and you're more likely to meet someone with whom you have something in common outside a romantic ... (read in full...)
What can I say to my Bf considering that he is addicted to Facebook??
Q. Hi, My boyfriend is constantly on Facebook and when I say constantly I mean all the time. It's almost like his life revolves around it, as soon as he wakes up, throughout the day and in the middle of the night. He's 30 and has very few friends...
A. 12 December 2015: He might not be as interested in out of house socializing and, if so, fair enough. As for you are being neglected, I would send him a Facebook message. You can either invite him out somewhere (have something specific in mind - date, time etc) ... (read in full...)
He takes me for granted and I want to leave him. What's my best strategy?
Q. i hate everything my boyfriend says or does he has become a pain in my ass..... He is self centered and only treats me like a lump of shit...he is 24 hours on a stupid game...on his phone i dont mean anything to him he isnt how he was...he has star...
A. 12 December 2015: What do you mean he doesn't let you? Do you live with him?
Once one person says it's over, it's over so I don't understand what the problem is.
If you live with him, then find out if you can move back in with your parents. If they agree then ... (read in full...)
How do I approach his relationship with the nanny?
Q. After our second year of marriage, I went back to work after the birth of our child. With the both of us at work, we decided to hire a nanny. The nanny who was fresh out of college at the time, is an attractive girl but I never cared because ...
A. 10 December 2015: I was thinking the same thing. Proof of what?
You're divorced. Neither of them are doing anything wrong. Certainly nothing you need to be involved in.
There's nothing for you to do here. You relinquished your claim to one another. Let him... (read in full...)
Ladies: If a man sprinkled rose petals at your feet would you have kept them?
Q. Last night spent a night with the woman I've been seeing for about four months, watch the football game together, she really likes football, am a romantic kind of guy, well this morning, ihad her put on a CD, of George Strait, cross my heart, when ...
A. 6 December 2015: Sprinkling rose petals on the floor is, for me, way over the top so any man who did that probably wouldn't get a second date. It's very cliché and sickeningly sweet/phoney. Just not my style at all. I can't speak for other women but I've never known ... (read in full...)
Former FWB relationship, am I just a text buddy to him now?
Q. A guy ive known for two years texted me to see how I am. We have had sex in the past and I know he doesn't want more from me because he as never took me out and as only got intouch when he wants sex. He texted me a week ago and I said when shall we ...
A. 4 December 2015: That's all you ever were to him, I'm afraid. I don't know why you ever thought there was anything more.
You are a means to an end so he's not phased by your moods one way or another, in so far as they don't interfere with what he wants.
... (read in full...)
Am I a whore for cheating?
Q. I never thought I would be writing this story. I was a woman with integrity, morals and despite being treated like crap over the years by my selfish alcoholic husband, would never cheat on him..and then about a year ago when things were at the ...
A. 4 December 2015: No. You're not a whore for cheating. You're human for making a mistake.
Ask yourself this, if you were single right now, what would you be doing? I don't mean dating or anything sexual or romantic. I just mean how would you spend your time? Di... (read in full...)
I want a child but my boyfriend doesn't. Should I tell him I'm going off contraception?
Q. So I've been with my partner for 3 years . I have had the implant in my arm for nearly 6 years . It's only meant to last 3 years ? Is there a specific time limit for this contraception? Me and my partner don't use any other form of protecti...
A. 3 December 2015: Are you aware that some jurisdictions consider reproductive coercion a form of sexual assault?
Having a child is a HUGE lifetime responsibility and you have no right to inflict that on someone without their consent.
To even consider doing t... (read in full...)
How can I determine if he really wants what I want?
Q. I dated a guy on and off last year but we remained friends. The basic reason why we broke up was 1. Lack of communication and 2. I wasn't sure that he was over his ex. Recently, he said that he misses me. I said the same, and so we started hangi...
A. 3 December 2015: The old fashioned way, which has been tried and tested over centuries. Take your time and take sex off the table. Get to know him for HIM and allow him to do the same with you. That way you KNOW your association isn't based on sex.
Go out and do i... (read in full...)
He broke a cup I gave him, but has chosen to not replace it. Should I let this upset me so much?
Q. I bought my hubby a cup with the words, love you more then shoes on it. He accidently broke it and said he would get another but he still hasnt. it hurts me that he hasnt replaced it and it shows he doesnt care. I've reminded him to get it and s...
A. 3 December 2015: All this angst over a mug?
By all means let it upset you this much. Let it consume you and shape your future and be the defining event in your marriage.
It's a mug. ... (read in full...)
I told my ex he needs to reflect on himself and be honest and he says there is nothing wrong with him!
Q. Hi, I broke up with a guy on Sunday after 8 months. It's the usual story, he was overly keen to begin with, texting, calling and constantly knocking on my door (we live in separate flats in the same house) After 7 months we slept together and as ...
A. 3 December 2015: Ok, so he says there is nothing wrong with him. No one around him agrees with him.
He's unlikely to engage in any self reflection any time soon and since he's history it really isn't your problem anymore, is it?
... (read in full...)
What was my friend thinking? She talks about his bad points, yet then she put me in a difficult postion, that she must have known I would not appreciate?
Q. Hey aunts This is not a relationship question but a friendship question. So my best friend know how i feel about my ex and i have multiple times expressed that i do not want to talk to him if i don't have to (that is avoid him as much as po...
A. 1 December 2015: MY question is why did you put yourself in a situation in which others had to take care of you?
You weren't hit by a car, you didn't have pneumonia, or SARS. You drank too much. You didn't stop when you felt a buzz, you just kept on drinking... (read in full...)
What could have happened to this great guy I corresponded with and did meet, once?
Q. A man I am extremely interested in is supposedly in the counter intelligence community in the Middle East. It is hard to determine if this is so as these individuals can never speak very much about their work and you can only operate on blind fa...
A. 29 November 2015: If he didn't make up outlandish stories about himself, always behaved with courtesy, and didn't ask anything of you then I don't think he was an evil man who set out to trick anyone.
He might not be ready for anything serious, he might have fou... (read in full...)
I broke "no contact" after 6 months with my ex-girlfriend, and I'm very confused by her response!
Q. I was with my girlfriend for almost a year, we had some really great times together and as many relationships do, some trying times as well. The last month of the relationship was really odd after she got back from out of town visiting family. We ...
A. 28 November 2015: OP, I'm afraid anything more than what you're already doing is going to seem pushy to her. She hasn't reached out to you in six months, and only responds when you contact her. 'TTYL' is about as non committal as it gets under these circumstances.
... (read in full...)
Do I give my date a second chance?
Q. I met a guy in his 40s for a drink on Thursday after chatting for two days. The evening went well and I wasnt sure if the chemistry was right but he seemee lokeca good guy. I agreed to meet him Sunday. That night he text he was coming off the dating ...
A. 28 November 2015: No, OP, everyone does not deserve a second chance. He's shown you that he's very comfortable crossing the line with someone he hardly knows. That is a red flag.
Second chances only embolden some folks to take greater liberties. Move on and let ... (read in full...)
My work has partnered with wife a terrible driving woman. How should I handle this?
Q. Hi, A few months ago the company I work for provided a "share drive scheme" What They do is buddy you up with another person in the workplace (they base this on who lives the closest together) and they provide you with a company car - which you ...
A. 28 November 2015: I have to agree that safety comes first.
What about taking the bus to work the week she has the car and using the car on your week? You don't have to withdraw from the program entirely.
And certainly put your name in for the next roll out. ... (read in full...)
Online Dating : is it possible that I'm emotionally unavailable?
Q. Am I emotionally unavailable. Or is this a combo of both. I started online dating almost a year ago now and have met a few guys. I met one guy who was 10+ older than myself. He seemed very interested in me after our first coffee date and I went...
A. 27 November 2015: I don't know if you're emotionally unavailable but you haven't been clear at all about what you want.
Are you not really sure what you want at this stage (with anyone, I mean) or are you concerned that stating so outright leaves you open to explo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been trying to meet up with another woman
Q. So, I've been in a relationship with someone for about a year and a half mostly online. Up until recently it has been completely virtual. I went to visit him in the summer and we hit it off eventhough he was a bit....forward. Recently (Septemb...
A. 27 November 2015: What kind of trouble was he in? Did this not raise the alarm for you?
Yep, you already know the answer and once it's done you'll look back and realise there was nothing to be afraid of.
Toss this one back. ... (read in full...)
Her daughter is a nightmare at bedtime! Ideas on how to deal with her?
Q. I'm in a relationship with a lovely woman who has a 9 year old daughter whom I absolutely adore. She is a great kid, but has quite a problem when it comes to bedtime. And it is driving my gf completely insane to the point she is at her wits end. ...
A. 27 November 2015: You've received some interesting insights and good advice here, but like some of the others have said, not knowing you well enough or seeing this for ourselves it's difficult to pin it down.
From what I've observed and heard/read of children... (read in full...)
My employer isn't providing me with the additional training to meet qualififcation
Q. I have been working in my job for 2 and a half years, when I took on the job I was given a temporary contract, I was looking to develop my life into a career after a series of 'jobs' and I worked hard to move forward, I was taken on as a permenant ...
A. 27 November 2015: 'Due to finances' I assume means you don't have enough money to pay for courses yourself so you're hoping your employer will foot the bill for you.
From what I read your employer offered you on the job training which is what you got. If you want... (read in full...)
I'm 67, she's 54 and she thinks I'm too old for her
Q. I am 67 year old man, widowed and I have met a 54 year old lady but she thinks I am to old for her. We have gone out several times and I feel like I am in love with her. But she thinks that I am too old for a relationship with a woman her age. ...
A. 27 November 2015: OP, at this early stage what you're describing sounds more like infatuation and not love.
The woman has stated her limits and all there is for you to do is respect them. If she felt a strong enough attraction to you she'd overlook the age diff... (read in full...)
What could have happened to this great guy I corresponded with and did meet, once?
Q. A man I am extremely interested in is supposedly in the counter intelligence community in the Middle East. It is hard to determine if this is so as these individuals can never speak very much about their work and you can only operate on blind fa...
A. 22 November 2015: My best shot is, like the others, that he's a flake who makes up outlandish stories about himself to impress naïve women and keep them from asking too many questions when he vanishes.
People who work in those fields are very guarded about wh... (read in full...)
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