I'm troubled by my boyfriend's spiteful side
Q. My boyfriend and I went on holiday recently and we missed our flight as we both got the return flight date wrong. We travel on the bus to the airport to see if we can get another flight. I had a leg injury. Our suitcase fell of the baggage ...
A. 11 March 2017: I agree with dumping him. He's weak, childish, lazy and selfish.
Asking another guy to help you would have been a good idea. It highlights your boyfriend's worthlessness in front of others.... (read in full...)
Do I ask my friend for the rest of the deposit when she pulled out on me?
Q. Hi All, This is more regarding a friendship relationship but hope you can help! When organising my hen do abroad I asked who would be interested then set about arranging details for my friends who said yes. Before booking I continuley reco...
A. 11 March 2017: I doubt very much you'll see any kind of reimbursement and in fact I suspect both will be quite defensive about it.
I suggest you cut your losses with these two then demote them to 'acquaintance' status permanently. You can be formally polite w... (read in full...)
I like this guy but he just doesn't have a clue about women
Q. I am seeing a guy who is into porn and hasn't had much experience with women. It feels like he doesn't know the difference between porn and being with a real women. He's not romantic at all, doesn't make the effort to make me feel special,...
A. 11 March 2017: No, you shouldn't have to teach him, and frankly nor can you because if he were interested in learning he'd have figured it out for himself long ago.
He's not simply a waste of time, sadly, he's actually quite toxic. In the short time he's alr... (read in full...)
I like older guys. He was respectful to me. But then his decision to ejaculate on my face bothered me. Were his actions out of line?
Q. I'm attracted to older men and that's what I normally date. I met this guy recently. He's 34. After exchanging texts for a while, we went out. It went really well. We had great conversation. There was chemistry between us. It was great all around. I ...
A. 16 February 2017: I find it equally revolting and disrespectful but the red flags for me are: he didn't ask AND he did it on a first date.
I don't think I would give this guy a second date. He could have 99 wonderful attributes out of 100 but if that 1 is a biggie... (read in full...)
Is it a red flag if a woman has been 3 or 4 times and says all the marriages were abusive?
Q. well asking a question, if a woman, a man started dating, tells you they been married three or four times, is that a big red flag, my own opinion is that they all couldn't be bad,one or two maybe,an if they say all three men were abusive ...
A. 16 February 2017: And who the hell is married '3 or 4 times'?? She's not sure?
Nevermind the abuse, someone with that many divorces under their belt has some issues to work out. ... (read in full...)
Is it a red flag if a woman has been 3 or 4 times and says all the marriages were abusive?
Q. well asking a question, if a woman, a man started dating, tells you they been married three or four times, is that a big red flag, my own opinion is that they all couldn't be bad,one or two maybe,an if they say all three men were abusive ...
A. 16 February 2017: I would consider it a red flag.
Either the woman is damaged goods and is drawn to such men or she paints herself to be a victim to gain the sympathy and special considerations of others.
I'd move on. ... (read in full...)
It's been impossible to move on from my ex. He's in a relationship now, yet is concurrently sending me texts. What should I do?
Q. im in need of advice, I am being confused with random contact from my ex. my ex and I have been on and off for years. Four to five months ago he disappeared to date someone else, broke my heart. i was always the one wanted to get back together an...
A. 14 February 2017: I have to agree with Honeypie and N91.
He's apparently not committed to his new girlfriend either, though don't take that to be a ray of hope for you. He doesn't want to risk being alone, so he maintains back up plans without considering the effe... (read in full...)
Would you remain friends with someone who keeps you blocked from Skype?
Q. Hi All, Could really use a little input here. I met a woman online on an international dating site. I'm American, she's from Europe. We emailed, talked and Skyped for about 10 months and then got into a fight. Without going into the details, ...
A. 4 February 2017: I agree with Honeypie.
When an ex tells you they want to remain friends what they usually mean is remaining on friendly terms when you cross paths, but otherwise they are no expectations. In other words, you're not dating so don't ask anything... (read in full...)
What happened to my dream girl? Do I just go along with her? Or call off the wedding and be done with her?
Q. Sorry if this is long just bare with me because I need help. My girlfriend has ruined our relationship and I feel like she just wanted me for money. I need to know what other people think. I can't talk to my family or friends because they all...
A. 4 February 2017: Marriage is the most important contract you will ever enter into and for it to be successful, both parties have to be clear about their expectations. And while a pre-marital agreement can help build trust it can just as easily undermine it. She'... (read in full...)
My son punched a guest, when guest videoed him and girlfriend having sex.
Q. My son is 19 he has been dating his girlfriend since he was 16 and she was 15. We have a pretty open relationship with them. Over the weekend they went out to a party with their friends and at our house my husband and I threw a surprise party for ...
A. 23 January 2017: Not that you appear to need it, but I'm going to add my opinion that your son was absolutely in the right here.
What's more, I would cut these men and the spineless women who support them out of my life. They clearly can't be trusted so they wou... (read in full...)
She has decorated my bedroom space with love letters and trinkets and it's suffocating. What can I say and how should I approach this subject?
Q. I am in quite a new relationship with my girlfriend (just over 6 months) and things have been going well. Although recently she has started to decorate my bedroom with photographs, love letters and little trinkets. It is sweet, do not get me wr...
A. 22 January 2017: I agree with Aunty BimBim's approach.
My opinion though is her decorating your room is not entirely innocent. She is extending her boundaries to include your space and doing it in a way she expects will make you look mean and unreason... (read in full...)
My husband left me and I think he's now coming over to talk divorce. I don't think I can handle it
Q. Okay, So a few days ago my husband left and told me he wasn't coming home again via text. I tried so hard to give him space. I did send a few texts back to him and I never got a response. - Which is fair. The reason why he left is because i had ma...
A. 22 January 2017: I don't want to fill you with false hope, but I don't get the sense he's looking for a divorce. If he'd made up his mind, there would be no need for him to discuss anything.
It looks to me that he is deliberately keeping you on edge, providin... (read in full...)
I'm starting to miss him. Was leaving the best option? How do I heal from being a victim in an emotionally abusive relationship?
Q. Hello, After Christmas (2016) I left my partner, as I came to realise I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. It was slowly wearing me down and I started to get ill; for the first time in nearly 20 years, my eczema came back and spread all...
A. 21 January 2017: Stay the course and have faith.
Forget about warning other women, as it will indeed make you look desperate and crazy and it will also look like he dumped you and you're just trying to get back at him.
Anyone with common sense knows some folks... (read in full...)
Family issues. What should I do? Apologise and stick to my plans? Or cancel my holiday?
Q. I have, it seems, caused an enormous family rift. I booked a holiday for 2 weeks at the start of February - it had been booked a while but I told family over Christmas what my plans were. This is the first holiday I have had in 7 years so it means...
A. 19 January 2017: I agree with Honeypie. If it's possible to postpone it, do so, but don't cancel it.
75 IS a milestone. Granted I wouldn't plan a big event for someone's 35th or 45th birthday, for example, but 25 and 75 ARE kind of special. Since you're their da... (read in full...)
He lacks a stable job and a career so I'm breaking up with him. Am I not openminded?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've put a lot of consideration into this and I've decided to break up with my boyfriend. It's not that we don't get along - we get along rather well and have a great time together. He is positive I will be his future wife and has info...
A. 19 January 2017: I think you made the right choice.
His choices are fine if he's planning on staying single and not having any kids, and he earns enough to feed, clothe and house himself.
You've accepted that his life choices are incompatible with yours and y... (read in full...)
I’m angry with his mom and his sister and have reached a breaking point. I need input!
Q. Hello everyone, This is a long so please bear with me. I live with my boyfriend and his sister. Some background info: his sister is the youngest. She is a bit spoiled by her parents and doesn't have friends for various reasons. She's a princes...
A. 19 January 2017: I agree with male anon below.
His sister may be a bit spoiled and his mother may be biased in her favour (I know exactly what that is like, being the oldest by several years myself), but I don't think his sister was offside really.
Imagine... (read in full...)
Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?
Q. I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...
A. 15 January 2017: Extremely clingy.
OP, I suggest you smarten up and fast because your childish demands and self centred behaviour are going to cost you a relationship.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied but if I bring it up he will make me to be the jerk!
Q. Long story short, my boyfriend was suppose to call me this morning, I was going to hang out at his house while he was at work, he never called, I called him at 2:00 no answer, he texted me at 4 said he had a long day at work, rain check, call you ...
A. 4 January 2017: It's no great feat of intellectual prowess to imagine that he lied because he felt guilty about wasting the day watching tv instead of going to work and doesn't need your disapproval on top of it.
I wouldn't mention it at all. What do you hope to ... (read in full...)
How do I tell a sexting creep I'm not interested without hurting him.
Q. Hi every one, I need help to tell him I'm nit interested. I had a one night stand about 5 months ago, and have been texting him since. But he has tried sexting me for a few weeks now, I keep trying to change the subject, but he's not getting ...
A. 1 January 2017: Why are you so concerned about his feelings?
People like this rely on people like you being too polite. No more hints. Time to be blunt.
Then just block and delete. You could even just block and delete without saying anything. Is this someone ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to raise a glass at the graveside?
Q. I am involved in a bit if an argument. A mutual family friend passed away aged 49 from breast cancer. On her 50th birthday some of the family (not her family) and friends took some champagne and celebrated her birthday around her grave. The took ...
A. 23 December 2016: I have to agree with the others. An intimate group quietly raising a glass is just that, but posting those pictures on Facebook or any other social media is, in my opinion, what made it trashy.... (read in full...)
Is my fiance's contact with his ex's normal? He has been married 3 times.
Q. I'm a divorced woman who was married for 27 years. I got married at 17, so I've had little relationship experience. I've been divorced for just under 2 years now. I have a boyfriend who I just said yes to marrying. What bothers me about my fian...
A. 23 December 2016: And yes, his contact with his exes does seem excessive. He's someone who likes a lot of attention, I gather, and old grievances fade with the passage of time.
Easy come/easy go with him. ... (read in full...)
Is my fiance's contact with his ex's normal? He has been married 3 times.
Q. I'm a divorced woman who was married for 27 years. I got married at 17, so I've had little relationship experience. I've been divorced for just under 2 years now. I have a boyfriend who I just said yes to marrying. What bothers me about my fian...
A. 23 December 2016: I think it's a bit much, and that given that it's been 8 months and you're soon to be wife number 4, I would most definitely SLOW this right down.
As an aside, why would you want to marry anyway? You've been there and done that for 27 years. W... (read in full...)
Why is my friend's husband so cruel?
Q. My friends husband can be so cruel! she gets her hair done at a hair salon and he never compliments her. (others do) He also yells at her for the most silly reasons? Could he be disconnected as he wishes he were not married to her? ...
A. 16 December 2016: I agree with CindyCares.
Not complimenting someone after a day at the salon is not cruel. Personally, I often prefer comments of any kind be kept to a minimum. And as has been pointed out, if it's pretty much the same style and she goes regularl... (read in full...)
My parents are threatening to cause me problems if I don't break up with my younger boyfriend
Q. I am a 23 year old single mother. I have just gotten out of a really bad reltionship with my child's father so the last thing I wanted to do was have any kind of relationship. I know that this sounds corney, but I litteraly fell into it. The pr...
A. 13 December 2016: I agree with the others.
Your parents see too much instability in your life and now you're dating a young boy.
However mature he may seem, and may even be compared to his peers, he is still a teenage boy.
As long as you're reliant on the... (read in full...)
I need to know what is going on. Should I text him again, just acting normal?
Q. My ex and me have been talking again mainly over text after he got back in contact with me. It ended quite badly between us due to him having commitment issues. After 6 months of not speaking he got back in touch and told me that he was ready to...
A. 13 December 2016: I agree.
You already know what's going on. He's clearly NOT that certain about getting back together. He may be fond of you and like having you around in a more relaxed sense, but not quite ready to jump in the deep end.
Of course, he may h... (read in full...)
I accidentally (kind of) catfished a guy I was interested in?
Q. I was interested in guy who worked the same company as mine..We worked in completely unrelated departments( very minimal work related contact).However, we would to run into each other ,walking in and out in the conference rooms,hall ways,staff rooms ...
A. 12 December 2016: Do NOT 'come clean' with him. Just delete your profile and leave it at that.
He's not owed an explanation. Life happens and he has a girlfriend anyway.
... (read in full...)
She says it is impossible to communicate what I did wrong
Q. Hi ALL, I need some perspective please. Long story short, a woman I have an interest in and I had an argument over an email I wrote to her. She is foreign and lives in Eastern Europe. I am American and live in the US. I wrote what I thought was an e...
A. 8 December 2016: From what I read, it sounds like you've been dismissive of her points and overbearing in the expression of yours.
Yes, most problems can be solved, if not avoided, by communication. EFFECTIVE communication, which includes LISTENING, and a cooling ... (read in full...)
Can I trust his cousin?
Q. So, I'm dating this guy who is a year younger than me. And it's a long distance relationship, where I've never seen him before although we video chat a lot. He is kind, caring and sweet. I sometimes communicate with his favorite cousin, who is older ...
A. 5 December 2016: You're very welcome.
And so we're clear, no one here is saying he or his cousin are bad guys. Just that you don't know them so always be cautious.
Best of luck. :)... (read in full...)
How should I approach this issue? I feel that my wife is ashamed of me
Q. I have been married to my wife since 2001 (15 years now). One thing that has always bothered me is how while I introduce her to all of my friends I only get to meet some of hers. She is a lot more social than I am and has a lot larger social ci...
A. 4 December 2016: "professional persona" that she doesn't want to "put on" in front of you. EXACTLY.... (read in full...)
Can I trust his cousin?
Q. So, I'm dating this guy who is a year younger than me. And it's a long distance relationship, where I've never seen him before although we video chat a lot. He is kind, caring and sweet. I sometimes communicate with his favorite cousin, who is older ...
A. 4 December 2016: Of course you can't trust him! Either of them!
He's in Ghana and you're in The Netherlands. You're far enough away that he can make up any story he likes and you have no way of verifying it. AND either one of you can be easily distracted by someo... (read in full...)
How should I approach this issue? I feel that my wife is ashamed of me
Q. I have been married to my wife since 2001 (15 years now). One thing that has always bothered me is how while I introduce her to all of my friends I only get to meet some of hers. She is a lot more social than I am and has a lot larger social ci...
A. 4 December 2016: From what I've read, anonymous, I suspect she worries that YOU will be ashamed of HER.
The film industry is notoriously vain and shallow (not that everyone there is to the same extent), but it's an occupation in which perception and image are ever... (read in full...)
Think I love mother and daughter
Q. I'm in a relationship with a woman 18 years older than me. Lately we have been growing apart, the age difference and different interests are the main reasons. Her daughter, is 4 years younger then me. I'm 35. Her daughter and I have a great ...
A. 4 December 2016: Why would a woman who is jealous of the attention and affection you show another want you to dump her so you can pursue that other right in front of her? Use your head. She wants you to reassure her that SHE is the only one you want.
Don't... (read in full...)
Should I meet up to talk to him after he said he didn't want to be with me anymore?
Q. I was with this boy for a few months and he basically said that he's changed so doesn't want to be with me. I dunno if I should go meet up and talk or to just let him go. I've never loved someone as much as I love him. He is my true love and he...
A. 4 December 2016: I don't see the point.
Is he asking for this meeting or are you thinking of asking him? I don't know how saying it again in person is going to make any difference. No benefits and possibly more pain.
Nope, let him go, grieve in private. ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to leave a bad relationship
Q. Hello I'd like some advice.This is probably all going to sound ridiculous but here goes. I am stuck in a bad relationship it has been bad since the very beggining my partner has done terrible things to me emotionally and physically and I've alw...
A. 4 December 2016: Overcoming your dilemma is going to take faith, self discipline and determination.
First, practice NOT saying nasty things about yourself. If you were overweight, you wouldn't need to keep telling yourself that, would you? If you have blonde h... (read in full...)
Can I trust his cousin?
Q. So, I'm dating this guy who is a year younger than me. And it's a long distance relationship, where I've never seen him before although we video chat a lot. He is kind, caring and sweet. I sometimes communicate with his favorite cousin, who is older ...
A. 4 December 2016: First, understand that there is a difference between NOT trusting someone and MIStrusting someone.
If I just met you at friend's gathering, we might get to talking and find we have several things in common. I might like you, based on what I h... (read in full...)
Can I trust his cousin?
Q. So, I'm dating this guy who is a year younger than me. And it's a long distance relationship, where I've never seen him before although we video chat a lot. He is kind, caring and sweet. I sometimes communicate with his favorite cousin, who is older ...
A. 3 December 2016: How long have you been 'dating' this guy? How old is the cousin?
What country are they in?
Your answers might change my mind, but my first instinct is not to trust him. ... (read in full...)
Is my mom's behavior normal? Is she being unfair?
Q. I graduated from college and started working 2.5 years ago. My sister did the same half a year ago. In case it’s relevant, we were born and raised in California to immigrant Asian parents. Amongst our culture and friends, it’s quite common to still ...
A. 3 December 2016: I suspect your mother thinks that if you're going to treat her home as a hotel and storage facility, and your parents as hired help, you might as well pay for the privilege.
I can't imagine what kind of home doesn't have a kitchen, but I'll lea... (read in full...)
My girlfriend said I was 'mushy'
Q. I have been with a new girl for a few months. Tonight we were drinking a little bit and I told her how much I enjoyed being with her. She asked me if I was getting mushy and I told her that I was and that she needed to cope with it. I did tel...
A. 27 November 2016: I can relate to her. I think she just isn't as comfortable talking about intimate feelings. It's a bit like the discomfort some feel when they're complimented.
My suggestion is to be matter of fact when discussing yours with her. ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 23 November 2016: Maybe the simple truth is that you fell for her because you felt safe to do so.
She reminded you every so often so that this was to be casual you weren't left wondering if her continued affection and attention meant she was falling hard for you ... (read in full...)
My co worker hung up even though she was expecting a call from me.
Q. One of my co-workers, lets call her lady A, wanted another co-work's number, lets call her lady B, who works the same shift as me,.She wants me to ask lady B about a set light that she has.I have Lady's B number so Lady A gave me her number to ...
A. 21 November 2016: Then either she's had technical difficulties, a minor personal emergency, or she's just weird.
Thanks for the update.
... (read in full...)
My co worker hung up even though she was expecting a call from me.
Q. One of my co-workers, lets call her lady A, wanted another co-work's number, lets call her lady B, who works the same shift as me,.She wants me to ask lady B about a set light that she has.I have Lady's B number so Lady A gave me her number to ...
A. 20 November 2016: I'm inclined to agree, though I'm leaning toward 'sensitive and emotional' as the more likely scenario.
What you should have done was leave a detailed message for Lady B which included the contact information for Lady A and the reason she want... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time getting over her
Q. I've posted about this female in questions a few times before. Basically I'm having a really hard time getting over her and I'm questioning my sanity and what else I can do to get over how I'm feeling. To cut a long story short, a FWB that didn't ...
A. 20 November 2016: Instead of trying to quit her cold turkey and condemning yourself when you don't, take control of your thoughts and actions by giving yourself permission to indulge at certain times.
For example, if you have errands to run or chores to do, you ... (read in full...)
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