A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi - really just looking for some opinions and advice. I've recently got back with my high school sweetheart after 5 years apart and everythin is gonig really well, however I've recently learned that he smoke cannais maybe once every one to two weeks. I'm not sure how I feel about this and was wondering if anyone can speak to me about it as I'm a bit confused.I've always thougt I'm quite liberally minded and although don't agree with drugs, and don't do any myself, I tolerate some of my friends doing cannabis, including one of my best friends who although not a regular user, does smoke sometimes when at festivals and stuff. I don't know if I'm right to do so, but I guess I tolerate cannabis amongst my friends but not harder drugs like E or Ketamine. I have sometimes tried to think about it logically in the sense that perhaps taking cannabis is no more dangerous than the levels of alcohol some people drink on nights out. And I indeed, sometimes smoke ciggies and do hookah socially as I have a lot of hindu friends for whom, smoking hookah (flavoured tobacco in a large pipe thing) is common practice in their part of the world. Is cannabis any worse than my drinking or my smoking?Should I be worried about my boyfriend? I've spoken to him about it and to be honest, if he hadnt said to me he sometimes does cannabis, I wouldnt have said there is anything odd about his behaviour. No mood swings or anyting like that which peopel sometimes associate with drug use. He seems fine. I asked if he was addicted he said no. I asked why he did it, he said he did it socially, just like having a drink, and that it just made him a litle giggly and laid back.What does everyone else think? Really just looking for some opinions. Is his cannabis really any worse than me having the occasional fag socially on a night out? Or should I be worried? As I said, there's nothing in his behaviour which worries me and if cannabis hadn't come up in our conversation the other night, I wold probably be none the wiser as to this. Thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): No, it isn't, not at the level he smokes (once every week or two). Truth is, it's probably doing less harm than your occasional tobacco cigarette.
It would be foolish to argue that cannabis is entirely harmless - though I know quite a few habitual smokers who seem to show no ill-effects whatsoever, apart from a tendency to stay in and get too fond of the sofa and the television and eat chocolate/crisps etc like they were kids, and goof off to stupid video games, and laugh like hyenas at stuff that isn't all THAT funny, and discover that they're suddenly taking weeks or months to read a book that isn't exactly Ulysses in the challenge stakes.
Point is, these are the daily users, and it doesn't exactly seem to have destroyed their lives, or turned them into desperate junkies mugging old women to feed their habit (Heroin will do that, no problem).
Cannabis DOES seem to impact negatively on their get-up-and-go factor, their energy levels, their employment ambitions. Not a road I'm all that keen to go down personally, but I'm not exactly terrified about these people throwing their lives away to drugs, because they're clearly not.
All activities carry degrees of risk. Unless you're in the gym all day and a nutrition-and-diet fanatic, you will do things that are bad for you at some point. Alcohol makes millions of people barge and elbow for priority in the queue at closing time, have fights or sexual encounters they won't even remember in the morning, vomit in the streets and wake up feeling like their head is being attacked with a power drill. (These are just the occasional users. You'll see the long-term ones if you go into your local pub in the daytime, and you can witness what's become of them) But hey, it's legal so it must be OK...All of this is presented as totally normal, just 'letting off steam'.
But I've never heard of marijuana killing anyone, and the only health issues agreed on by the medical experts (who are still strikingly divided on the subject) are an increased risk of lung cancer IF it's smoked with tobacco in a joint (pure weed in a pipe seems to be non-carcinogenic) and a concern over mental health implications in people who do it daily for years and years.
That last bit is scary, sure, but as Boonridge points out, it probably applies to people with a pre-existing mental health condition. If marijuana was single-handedly sending thousands of otherwise healthy people to psychiatric institutions, I think we'd have heard all about it in great detail in lurid headlines. The reason the film 'Reefer Madness' was such a cult classic was that anyone who's smoked, or been around smokers, knows full well that its depiction of dope turning people into green-eyed monsters is a million miles from the reality.
If your guy becomes a 'stoner', regularly doing it several days a week in a wide variety of situations for no especial reason, you're entitled to express your concern. But I do think the illegality of cannabis (when alcohol and tobacco, both WAY more harmful, are legal) is influencing the degree of unease you feel about it, to the point where you posted a question on this site about the 'problem'. You probably have grown up thinking of marijuana as something to be filed under 'Drugs' and instantly suspicious of. Hence your unease. But honestly, a guy smoking it socially every week or two with his peer group....totally normal, very commonplace. Not worth wasting your precious time worrying about.
And, having banged on here at length already, I'll spare you the lecture on the effects of alcohol and tobacco. But I think you should look them up (it's not pleasant reading). Then look up the effects of marijuana. Then weigh up all the information. In deciding which drugs are the ones to be wary of, I think you should be 'swayed' more by informed expert opinion than by your government's adherence to ridiculously outdated laws that remain in place because they're terrified of the Sun and Daily Mail announcing 'LOONY-LEFT LABOUR LEGALISES DOPE AND BANS DRINK!'
Don't worry about your boyfriend, though it's nice that you care. You sound like a lovely sensible person, and I'm sure he is too.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (4 September 2009):
 The only real difference is that Cannabis is illegal, but that also depends where you live, here in Australia it is largely decriminalised.
I often find the worse people to offer advice are those who have no idea of the effects of cannabis. And we can see some of this advice from posters here. They offer shoot from the hip refer madness type opinions - the usual line on if you smoke a joint next thing you know you are a crack head living on the streets - what a load of rubbish.
In reality, cannabis is like any other drug, overuse is bad for you. Really bad. Pot is also demotivating especially amongst the young - so I would never encourage of offer pot to a young person - you are better off without it.
But for people like me the odd joint helps me to unwind after a particularly stressful day - I don't drink but I like the odd smoke. Mild use like the odd joint once a week is no more harmful that the odd cigarette. So ignore the ill informed opinions of those who have never partaken as they simply do not know .
Ask any policeman what drug provides the most problems in society - ALCOHOL .
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reader, boo22 +, writes (4 September 2009):
 Its fine as long as he's not doing it to excess,just like anything else, boozing or eating etc.
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male
reader, Perspicacious +, writes (3 September 2009):
Alcohol, cannabis, cigarettes, hookah... the truth is that none of these are good for you. But then, neither is a burger or a chocolate bar.
There are plenty of things that can be enjoyed in moderation, and that don't cause any real problems unless they are used to excess. Life would be pretty boring if we stuck purely to things that had no risk at all associated with them!
Therefore, which is technically worse hardly matters (I'm no expert, but I wouldn't be surprised if the answer was hookah from the description you've given), and I don't think you've got anything to worry about as long as he's sensible and keeps it to low level of use.
Of course, there are legal implications with cannabis which I am sure you are aware of.
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reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (3 September 2009):
 First let me say I am a non user. so no first hand experience. Second I'm in the US so laws are different from the UK.
The difference between cannabis and alcohol and tobacco is legal. As an employer I test for Marijuana. I can test for alcohol. I've never seen a test for tobacco. In other words the law allows me to test for illegal substances and substances that would impair a persons ability to operate dangerous equipment.
You are comfortable with casual friends using cannabis, but you begin to question the practice when it is your boyfriend. And, you should. The relationship is or could soon be close enough that his being fired for not passing a drug test could affect your life. Also you are thinking about the future which may involve children and you are wondering if you want them exposed to marijuana. In the US using drugs around minors in "endangerment" and carries much stiffer penalties. So from a legal point of view, not taking in the health, or mental factors, it is certainly a factor that should be weighed more seriously than tobacco or alcohol.
Now having said that, and opening myself up to attack, I have a bit to add about addicts. I personally wouldn't get into a relationship with a user, Alcohol, tobacco, or other addictive substances. Just because the person is not a heavy user does not diminish the addictiveness of the drug. And you can't trust an addict because nothing, not even love or life, is as important as the next fix.
FA
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): If he only smoke's on nights out with his friends, and in moderation then i don't really see what harm it would do. If he becomes an all day, everyday smoker as i was, where i had no money for anything else, thats when you know it's a problem.
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reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (3 September 2009):
 as for the below post by uncle phil, have you got any first hand experience of cannabis besides tv adverts? most people who go loopy off cannabis either had an underlying mental disorder or smoked stupid amounts all the time, bearing in mind that the majority of cannabis users have perfectly intact brains and mental states. what people want to do should be their own choice (and the consequences are their own too) as people are free to drink and we all know just how damaging to society and costly to the economy that is. what is more damaging is the nanny state and the idea that people cant think for themselves, hence baby after baby that the state looks after...
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reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (3 September 2009):
i've done a lot of drugs and cannabis when used moderately and only a couple of times a week is far less harmfull than alcohol consumption. no-one has died from cannabis poisoning yet alcohol kills through liver cirrhosis and accidents due to loss of coordination and judgement. if he likes it and it doesn't affect you what is the issue? if it was affecting you (by him being high or behaving oddly) then i could see where you are coming from (been there myself with lazy stoner friends), but in your own words you would never have guessed if you hadn't been told. also as someone with experience good quality hash is much safer from the point of mental state than skunk, mild weed is also better than skunk.
remember cannabis can trigger psychosis but in my experience alcohol does it far more often (i have bipolar)
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): In a nutshell, yes it is. Much worse. Fags will give you cancer, cannabis will give you cancer and screw your brain up as well.
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