A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:Hi guys. I have a really difficult question and I hope you can help me. I have the opposite problem to most people. Most people try to attract plenty of friends into their life.But I want to get almost everyone out of my life. I am anti-social and introverted. How can I force all my friends and enemies out of my space? I don't really like anyone.I don't want to be rude about it. But how can I politely eject everyone out of my life? Thanks for your time. This is not a joke. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (13 May 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question Don't worry. I am not dead yet.
But thanks to everyone for your answers. Kenneth might be right in saying that I need urgent help, and that this is dangerous.
Kate has given a good answer. Friends are like libraries and they have knowledge they can pass on to you.
Fatherly Advice states that people become ill if they don't have plenty of social interaction. I guess that's right. It's like a vitamin deficiency.
Anyway, it's late morning now in Australia. I have the whole day ahead of me. I will go out there and meet the people. Some of the staff at a local restaurant are guaranteed to pull faces at me for no reason, but I will go there anyway. Life consists of routines.
It's like a prison.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (12 May 2010):
 Hi Bruce,
Hello everyone,
I have been talking with Bruce for quite some time now. Despite his handicap, he always brings up interesting questions. He is well aware of his problems but is often frustrated with social situations because of the difficulty he has with them. That difficulty is so foreign to us that it is hard to even imagine.
I kind of held off on this question because I wasn't sure how much help my thoughts would be. Now that others have talked about intentional isolation, I think that there may be an audience.
Humans are social animals. Like other primates, or wolves, we are unhappy without our pack. We need interaction on a daily basis. Without it we change. The example of becoming bitter and angry was a manifestation of this. Just like having a vitamin deficiency, if we have a social deficiency, things start going wrong. Bruce already has a low level of social interaction. Reducing it does not seem to me to be the right solution. But, I'm not an expert on his condition. For the rest of us, sometimes we need quiet time, and a break. Sometimes we can feel emotionally drained. But we need to be with other people. It is in part why this forum is successful. We just like talking together.
Please keep answering Bruce, this is some of the best interaction he gets.
FA
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): I did this a few years ago. What I did was switch my mobile off, made no effort to be friendly towards work colleagues in my new job, turned down the few social invites I did get, stopped seeing my family and never made eye contact with anyone and it worked like a dream. I'd go days without hearing a human voice. Today, I have friends, a wonderful boyfriend, I spend lots of time with my mum and I am lucky enough to have a caring best friend. I love going out with people at work and have met some interesting people. Recently I was ill and all the people closest to me, showed genuine concern for my well being and I felt loved.I can honestly say I would never eject all people from my life again. My life before was not healthy for me. I became a hateful horrible person, hating people just for the sake of it. My advice would be to eject those people who are no good for you, don't eject those that genuinely love and care for you, you might need them one day.I can understand your feelings though and I wish you all the luck in the world, whatever you decide to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): You need to be REALLY REALLY nice to everyone you meet! Than no-one will want to be friends with you and laugh with you, or go out partying or have a great amazing exciting life!!!Errrr....no. Being nice with everyone will just get people to be friends with you....but isn't that want you truly want? When I was about....hmm, I think I was 13 years old - up to that age I didn't have any friends and didn't need any either! I felt completely fine and I hated being social. I worked better alone and FELT better alone. No-one to criticise me or whatever. But, when I went to high school my mum started saying to me that I should really get some friends - I didn't want to, I wanted to make sure no-one could have an impact on my life...but then I realised that the world and everything in it IS my life. Life is only quality when it is spent with others...Otherwise who can you share your joy with? Who can you show your passions to? How could you prove yourself with no-one who is willing to look or listen?When I was young and only knew my family (and even didn't really talk to my family) I was always trying to show off and prove how good I was at stuff. But...because I had no-one to show who would give me valuable feed back, I was left..unfulfilled, dying for some sort of recognition - that's when I began to realise the inportance of being social. Not only did I have people to share my views with, but I also realised that I had been big-headed, selfish and unwordly.I see friends as great knowledge 'pools', they are like libraries to store your feelings in, or your opinions and thoughts - but you can also learn from them, they can teach you things that you've never dreamed of! And, one major positive of all this, is that it is FUN!Please, you only have one life, and shouldn't live through it alone. All alone...I didn't need therapy to go out of this - because for me, it wasn't something I needed therapy for. I wasn't suffering from depression or anything like that...it was just the way I was. But I can see now the worth of my new self, I can see the point now in having people you trust and care for - and who care for you too, who love you.Hahaha, I can see you are quite a bit older than me though, I'm only sixteen - so you're probably thinking 'what does this girl know about MY problems?' and to be honest, I don't know much. But you have gone on to this website for help...I just think you're asking for the wrong sort of help.I don't really know if the way you are is just the way you are, because I don't know you. But, seeing your age (I'm not saying your old by the way! :) ) I don't know...maybe you could go and see a therapist...but I guess for a guy with your feelings and views that would be a nightmare! But go on, be brave and give it a go - they don't try to hypnotise you unless you ask for it! After all, they're being payed ;)Hope this helpsBest wishesKate
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): Hi there,
I was reading your post & recognised some of your feelings. I too sometimes just want everyone out my life & think about how to go about it. I was trying to get out of 1 particular friendship- I felt she had used me & I got fed up of her and her family so I took a small disagreement & made it in to something big& now no longer talk to her. I can understand you wanting people out if your life who have done something bad but otherwise I suggest you talk to someone if you have any friends.
My mood changes so I probably need to get help too. If someone does 1 small bad thing to me I automatically hate them & wish bad things. Othertines I get an overwhelming feel of guilt& cry & fear being lonley.
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, Kenneth +, writes (12 May 2010):
You need immediate psychological help. This is very dangerous.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 May 2010):
 Bruce, your questions all indicate that you need professional help. Seriously, we are not going to be able to treat you or guide you into a happy mental state. You have to be seen, evaluated and treatment options discussed by a professional, obviously someone with expertise in Asperger syndrome.
You are asking people with little to zilch knowledge of your syndrome to help you navigate life's biggest problems. This is not wise. You are smarter than that.
Go see a professional psychologist with experience in helping people with Asperger syndrome.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 May 2010):
 Aren't you the guy with Asperger's Syndrome?
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A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (12 May 2010):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess I've just been having mood swings lately. I just find it so hard to trust people. That's why sometimes, I lock the door to my house and don't really talk to anyone for hours.
It's a cold, lonely world. And the truth hurts.
What is the truth? The truth is that I have nothing. Nothing to live for. And I don't see the point in taking risks anymore. I've given up on life and on people. Nothing is going to change.
But thanks for you help Cerberus. I will think about what you said. I will talk to a doctor or expert about everything.
Enjoy the day.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 this is the behaviour of depression, go and see a doctor rather than coming on here...
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): Hey Bruce Lee, I answered this question from you yesterday and I think others should take a look before they answer this one.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-does-one-overcome-bitterness-or-should-i.html
I'm seeing a pattern of behaviour here and an unhealthy mental state that frankly seems to me like you're currently suffering from acute depression.
Isolating yourself is the last thing you want to do my friend, you need to take a bit of time and consider what is making you feel this way, you will need the support of friends.
Yesterday you stated that you were angry and bitter because of the lack of attention you get from women and today you're looking for ways to remove your support network of friends. So yesterday you were cursing your social isolation and today you're trying to find ways become more isolated.
Something has happened in your life to make you feel this way, either long term unhappiness or disatisfaction, or a life changing event recently that has left you confused and alone.
Find out what these reasons are and do what's necessary to fix them. I recommend you seek some help on this. Go to your doctor and talk about them about all this.
Just make sure you don't make any major decisions while your judgement is this clouded, getting rid of all your friends is a very illogical step to take, it's self-sabotaging and is step backwards in life.
While you feel like this treat big decisions as if you were drunk and don't make any.
I wish you luck my friend, you're not alone. There are people that care about you and if they can care about you, then surely you can too.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 The one sure way is to leave your place and go live in a deserted island or place.
The other way is to lock yourself in your room and don't come out and have everything send to your room.
Or you can leave your place and stay in a new place where you won't know anyone. You simply disappear.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): Being rude is the quickest and easiest way to get people out of your life. If you don't want their presence in your life anyway, why not just act rudely toward them?
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