| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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My boyfriend never buy me gifts or flowers. Do you think this is petty of me to think this way or is this a problem?
Q. I buy my boyfriend nice gifts, all the time. Golf stuff, beer stuff, nice ties... He really doesn't do anything for me at all. He brought me a book for my birthday and a sex toy and that's about it. Otherwise, our relationship (one year so far...
A. 29 August 2014: I like what aunt Cindy said, "Too easy to say " Oh I do not care about material stuff, I am such a spiritual type "- then, why do you keep TAKING material stuff from your partner??"
Exactly my point.
I cant stand people who never bother rec... (read in full...)
Suspicious behaviour from my wife in the context of a poor marriage
Q. Ok so here is the situation. About 2 yrs. ago my wife tells me that she is not in love with me anymore and that we should separate. The next day she wants to take back what she said and work on our marriage. So I agree. Anyways, My wife is ...
A. 29 August 2014: You don't have kids, you don't seem to have any love lost, your sex life is non-existent, your communication with your wife is as good as non-existent...why are you in this marriage anyway? What's the cementing factor in your relationship?
... (read in full...)
I am sick of financially supporting my boyfriend.
Q. Am I a bad person to want marriage and a secure future My bf lost his job 8 months ago and I've been supporting him emotionally and financally since then. We've been through so much. We fought, argued, he's pushed me away several times bu...
A. 29 August 2014: Why are you still with him? You're not his mom and its not your responsibility to take care of him and provide for him.
You've already given up a car when you could have bought one; staying with him and supporting him will mean gradually giving u... (read in full...)
Please help me stop thinking about this amazing guy I met while on a holiday! I'm in Australia. He's in the USA!
Q. I met a guy while on holidays in the USA. We met in Arizona. We had an amazing one night stand and I never thought I would see him again. He flew back to Illinois and I continued on my trip. We exchanged numbers, he changed his flight t...
A. 29 August 2014: Tell him by all means so you know where you stand. Tell him that even though you never thought this could possibly happen, you're in love with him and those beautiful moments that you spent with him meant so much to you.
See where it goes from the... (read in full...)
Do you think sex talk is this woman's way of trying to lead me into an affair?
Q. I have a woman friend who is married. I see her every week for dinner with a group of friends. We hit it off quite well having a lot of common interests. Lately she's been telling me how unhappy she is with her husband, that her marriage is ...
A. 28 August 2014: Oral sex, favorite sexual position...whoa! She's really putting it all out there isn't she?! She claims to be unhappy in her marriage so she's definitely looking at having an affair and having her needs met outside the marriage. All I can tell you ... (read in full...)
Please help me stop thinking about this amazing guy I met while on a holiday! I'm in Australia. He's in the USA!
Q. I met a guy while on holidays in the USA. We met in Arizona. We had an amazing one night stand and I never thought I would see him again. He flew back to Illinois and I continued on my trip. We exchanged numbers, he changed his flight t...
A. 28 August 2014: I too met an amazing guy while on a trip abroad. While it wasn't sexual, we had a pretty good connection and I had the biggest crush on him. We kept in touch after I got back home but gradually the mails dwindled and now I just see the odd picture ... (read in full...)
Is it just wedding nerves or am I having second thought's about marrying my fiancé?
Q. I'm not sure if it's just wedding nerves or if I'm having second thought's about marrying my fiancée. It's two months away and the more and more closer it gets, the more I seem to be confused. I love my fiancée, he is the one I want to spend ...
A. 27 August 2014: OP are you sure you love him? Before you vehemently shake your head and say, "what do you know, of course I do!", take a moment and think. You might love someone but there's a difference between loving someone and being IN love with them. Are you ... (read in full...)
Struggling to get over my holiday romance. Do I try harder or let it go?
Q. I am just confused and need some help as I have no one else to talk to. I recently went on holiday in Greece with my friends. I met this guy from England aswell whilst over there. We just clicked well so I thought. We spent the majority of the time ...
A. 27 August 2014: Let it go and try to move on. You were a holiday romance for him, a quick fling, and now that its done, he wants nothing more to do with you. Henceforth remember not to jump into bed this easily with a guy because guys will say just the right things ... (read in full...)
I think my B/f might he seeing this other girl but I don't know what to ask him.
Q. My boyfriend and I normally have a great sex life. We would have sex maybe 2-3 times a day when we first met, and although nothing too kinky, it was adventurous. When we moved in together it slowed down, and he almost stopped wanting it as of...
A. 26 August 2014: Honeypie nailed it! How did your boyfriend react when she called you by a derogatory name? And I'll take it a step further-how and where did she get the audacity and the guts to speak about you in that way with him in the first place? Unless your ... (read in full...)
Ex was on the verge of cheating and blames me for his indiscretion!
Q. Hi Aunties and Uncles, I was in a relationship with a man for almost 2 years. I recently broke it off with him because he was texting another women. Nothing horribly inappropriate, but eventually he admitted he was attracted to her and started ...
A. 26 August 2014: What an asshole but then what do you expect from a cheater? Of course he doesn't have the balls to own up and accept that he slipped. He doesnt feel bad that he did it, he feels bad that he was caught. He's such a pathetic person, he cant bear the ... (read in full...)
Is my reaction to the sudden breakup normal or am I just in shock?
Q. The day before my birthday my partner decided to break off the relationship for three reasons, first that I was too emotionally dependent on him, the second that he was holding me back from my dreams and the third being that he doesn't trust his ...
A. 25 August 2014: Well its both actually. Its normal to be in shock and you're taking your time to process things because they just happened so fast.
I think you're dealing with it very well though and you should give yourself credit for that. Maybe at some lev... (read in full...)
I'm reaching the age where I can't have children and I have none of my own. How do I cope?
Q. I am 42 (will be 43 next April) and childless. My marriage failed 3 years ago as my ex husband was abusive - I deliberately did not have children with him because of it but held out way too long for things to change (10 years). Anyway - I met a ...
A. 25 August 2014: OP society has somehow nailed a timeline into all of us. Get married at the "right age" and push out a couple of kids soon after. Everything else follows suit but a woman is made to feel inadequate if (a) she doesn't have a man in her life and (b) ... (read in full...)
Meeting his family for the first time
Q. I'm meeting my boyfriends family for the first time tomorrow, with the exception of his sister, who I went to school with, and I'm so nervous I feel sick. I have been invited for a family lunch at his dad's house, so there will be his dad, step mu...
A. 23 August 2014: Yes do take something, I would never turn up empty-handed at anyone's place.
Don't be nervous...they're just ordinary people like you and me! The key to your nervousness is when you say, "I want to impress his family". That's where the pressure... (read in full...)
How should I tell this woman that the man she loves isn't who he says that he is?
Q. I am in total shock. I was dating a really wonderful, fun man for 10 months, who was doing important research in the medical field. We saw each other about once a week, and rarely on weekends, as he was always working on grants and papers, trying to ...
A. 22 August 2014: I would normally never say this but I think you should tell her. Not out of revenge but because she should really know what a creep she's married to. Write her a mail because if you send her a message on Facebook, she might not see it as you're not ... (read in full...)
Love ex-gf but she is dating new guy
Q. Hi, everyone. My ex girlfriend broke up with me in December because she didn't think I loved her enough. I did love her a lot, but we were both being immature -- she was acting passive aggressively and I wasn't communicating. She texted me once ...
A. 22 August 2014: Oh God stop being creepy and stop with the video already! You're a grown man in your 30s', what kind of a message do you think you're trying to send to an ex girlfriend when you send her a video of you smiling, telling her that you love her and then ... (read in full...)
We want a boy but I don't want my husband to be disappointed if it isn't
Q. Hello! I am 12 weeks pregnant, due in March 2015! My husband wants, a little boy, therefore I do to. I even talk to my stomach as if I were having a boy. But lately I have had a lot of anxiety inside me. I am so worried that, I will have a girl, I ...
A. 22 August 2014: Whatever happened to wanting a healthy, happy baby?
Thank your stars you're actually pregnant because there are so many helpless women out there who would die to be in your place. There are so many people who want a baby, any baby, in their li... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend with me when he isn't fully over his ex yet?
Q. I've been with my current boyfriend for almost a year now. We became friends towards the end of his relationship with his ex. At the time I met him, he was living with his ex but sorting things out to move out and end their three year relationship. ...
A. 20 August 2014: Wait a minute! He's still friends with her? I had a whole speech prepared and I'd typed out this long answer playing the Devil's Advocate because I thought he didn't talk about his ex because maybe he didn't want to delve into the past as it didn't ... (read in full...)
My boss is a bully.
Q. My boss is a bully, he belittles my ideas and opinions,isolates me at work and even doesn't give me any feedback unless its negative. i have asked for a job evaluation and he has not replied my email. I cant just quit because i have a family to...
A. 19 August 2014: Join the club, my boss is a bitch. I teach in a University and my Head of the Department cant stand me because (a) the Dean is very fond of me and its a known fact that my Head of the Dept is hated by everyone, including the Dean and (b) the ... (read in full...)
They say your first kiss is your best, how do I get over the fact that I'm not my boyfriend's first?
Q. This is driving me insane....can anyone help please? So me and my bf are in love but recently I've been getting really insecure about his past especially the fact that I wasn't his first kiss but he was mine. It never bothered me before but I accide...
A. 19 August 2014: Have YOU kissed your boyfriend? Had sex with him? Yes. Right?
OK. Now lets say you break up some day in the future because no one knows what the future holds. Much as you shake your head in disbelief now, things happen and sometimes for the best... (read in full...)
Experiences with losing your virginity in a one night stand or to a FWB??
Q. So recently I was asked by a friend I have know since I was five if I wanted to have sex with him in a fwb kinda thing. My problem with this is that I am virgin. I'm just wondering what are some experiences anybody has had with losing their ...
A. 19 August 2014: Don't do it. Wait for the right guy and the right time...when you're in a relationship with someone you love and feel safe with. What's the hurry about losing your virginity anyway? And FWB's are a disastrous idea under any circumstances, more so ... (read in full...)
My recovering drug addicted boyfriend has gone AWOL .... again!
Q. Hi everyone I come here in despair, hoping to gain some insight from objective people. I have been dating a guy who is a recovering drug addict. We have been together for just over three months. At the beginning of our relationship, h...
A. 18 August 2014: Why are you ruining your life for this guy? This is not up to you to help him in any way because he is an addict and he CANNOT be helped by you. He'll keep going back to his previous ways and you'll have a drive to hell and back, each time he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is planning to see his ex while I am away.
Q. Me and my boyfriend were having a talk about being honest with each other and what not when he said oh whilst were talking about this i should probably tell you that whilst your away next week im meeting up with 'sarah'. Ive been with my boyfrien...
A. 10 August 2014: She still likes your B/f and he knows this. I dont know why he's going to see her unless he's a doctor and can treat her sister because I dont know what else he has to offer. He's not even a friend so the question of supporting her does not even ... (read in full...)
My family have ruined me and now my mom is picking on whatever's left. How do I deal with this?
Q. I need some advice desperately. Sorry this will be quite long :( In the past, when I lived with my parents, we had a horrible relationship. I'm not the type to paint myself as the innocent victim but in this situation, I never really did anyth...
A. 10 August 2014: Having been here on Dear Cupid for quite some time now, there's generally the feeling that you get that you've seen it all, until I read a post like yours that really shakes me up. Its appalling the kind of abuse that you've tolerated and how your ... (read in full...)
My family have ruined me and now my mom is picking on whatever's left. How do I deal with this?
Q. I need some advice desperately. Sorry this will be quite long :( In the past, when I lived with my parents, we had a horrible relationship. I'm not the type to paint myself as the innocent victim but in this situation, I never really did anyth...
A. 9 August 2014: I really feel bad for you OP, life has truly been awful for you. You cant really be faulted for anything, you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time and because you kept quiet and accepted whatever was dished out to you, you got a very raw ... (read in full...)
If you keep your partner very sexually satisfied. does that make them less likely to look at or fantasize about other girls?
Q. My boyfriend has a few good looking female friends. He has ample opportunity to cheat but I don't think he would. I was just wondering, if you keep your partner very sexually satisfied does that make them less likely to look at other girls or ...
A. 9 August 2014: Yes anon male, I know you're not doing anything wrong, that's what I've told the OP as well. Looking is not wrong; how can it be? In fact, I'll even go so far as to say that if there's a guy who DOESN'T look at other girls but just fixates on his ... (read in full...)
If you keep your partner very sexually satisfied. does that make them less likely to look at or fantasize about other girls?
Q. My boyfriend has a few good looking female friends. He has ample opportunity to cheat but I don't think he would. I was just wondering, if you keep your partner very sexually satisfied does that make them less likely to look at other girls or ...
A. 9 August 2014: You can try everything you possibly can but if a man has to look at other girls, he will. Why do you think married men /men in committed relationships look at porn? Why do they look at other women? Because its part of their genetic code and any man ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend paid for expensive trip but is it too much too soon?
Q. I'm probably overthinking this but is it too soon to be going on holiday with my boyfriend when we have only just (last few months) got back together after being apart for about two years? Last week it was my birthday and as a gift my boyfrien...
A. 9 August 2014: Are you sure that you even want this relationship to move so fast so soon? Do you even *want* to go to Egypt?
I understand that you want to pay for yourself, I would too. If he pays for you, you will, in a way, feel obligated to him, even tho... (read in full...)
I love her, but she cheated?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and had a casual romantic relationship for several months before that. All in all we have been involved for about a year. Before we became officially a couple, there was a guy that constantly flirted ...
A. 7 August 2014: She CHEATED on you OP, this is really a no-brainer! She gave him a handjob, she showed him her boobs...this is all wrong...VERY wrong. Don't even try to get into the how, when and what scenario because the bottom line is that she had the option of ... (read in full...)
Phone calls at 4am and her phone never leaves her side. Is she cheating?
Q. I just wanna get some opinions on if others think my girl could be cheating. We've been together about a year but before me she'd had a string of short term relationships. Things have been good but the last couple of months it's been up and down. A ...
A. 6 August 2014: Why didn't you ask her about the call? Getting a call from ANYONE at 4 AM is not normal, least of all from a guy!
It definitely looks like there's something's fishy. Ask her point blank about what's going on. Why is this man calling her at such ... (read in full...)
I bent over backwards to make it work, but he still dumped me!
Q. My bf, of 4 years, and I just broke up like 20 mins ago. I saw it coming for months now. Since January nothing had been the same. He was distant, disrespectful and basically seemed to live to make me miserable. I tried to work things out for the ...
A. 5 August 2014: You need counseling. This is beyond the realm of DC. You dont seem to have moved forward at all despite all the help that you've got and this isn't healthy.... (read in full...)
I don't want his friends to think badly of me, but I also don't think I should just take what he throws at me!
Q. I'm not very assertive so would really like some advice on how I should have acted last night. My boyfriend and I went to a wedding reception last night. During the day, I was texting him about the arrangements, and he was only giving me one wo...
A. 4 August 2014: Im with Chigirl on this one. Your boyfriend is definitely passive-aggressive and he chose to punish you by getting stoned himself because he knew you wouldn't like it.
You should have quietly slipped out of the wedding after a while..its not that... (read in full...)
She said I didn't get it, she's right, I didn't get it!
Q. Sorry this may be a little long. So last night my gf of almost 2 years and I were fine. We were watching a movie, she fell asleep and I fell asleep shortly after her. We weren't fighting or anything. Then this morning she told me she had a dream ...
A. 4 August 2014: This is crazy! All this drama just for a stupid dream! The way she's reacting could probably be PMS..I can't think of another reason to react in this absolutely irrational manner just for a dream!
I dont think she's cheating on you..she's just havi... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got mad at me for sending a Happy Birthday messsage on Facebook
Q. My girlfriend got mad at me for sending a Happy Birthday message to a girl I used to do sexting with on Facebook. She says she dosen't want to see me anymore , what should I do ? I don't see the big deal ! All I said was happy Birthday. My ...
A. 3 August 2014: Why didn't you post it on her wall?... (read in full...)
He only takes something seriously when someone else tells him. Why does he do this?
Q. I have a problem with my partner. Firstly... when I tell him something its almost like he doesn't care or doesn't understand and in many cases blows it off... But when someone else tells him EXACTLY the same thing then he believes???? I don't li...
A. 1 August 2014: Your partner is like most men OP!You've described the average man perfectly and while its extremely infuriating and you feel like screaming your lungs out, unfortunately that's all you and the rest of us can do! My boyfriend too is similar in ma... (read in full...)
Feel sick to my stomach. Love my wife, and know it's wrong to text another woman. Need guidance on how to deal with all this, please?
Q. I am a married man and I have been texting another woman for about 1 year, she does not know I am married. I love my wife very much and I can't be without her, I don't know why I began texting the other woman but I have become good friends with her ...
A. 1 August 2014: You want to move on? Just stop texting the other woman, get her out of your life and stop cheating on your poor wife who has no clue about all your activities. You took vows when you got married, did all that mean nothing to you? I really cannot ... (read in full...)
He wants to hang out with me but I know he has a girlfriend. What should I do?
Q. I'll be starting uni in the fall as an international student, and, as I'm sure most incoming freshmen do, I did a little facebook research on the current students at this university. Of course, I didn't contact any of the guys, and was left just ...
A. 30 July 2014: You might start off as innocent friends but all the stuff that you're doing is couple stuff and whether he realizes it or it, you'll soon be his "work wife". You'll end up spending more and more time with him, you'll start depending on each other ... (read in full...)
Our flatmates only growl at me when he's not there! I suffer from anxiety and depression so this is very difficult for me!
Q. I don't know what to do. This year I moved from one city to another to live with my long distance boyfriend of 2 years. It's about six months on now. The move was really hard for me cos I'm shy and i left behind my close friends and the place I was ...
A. 30 July 2014: Welcome to the real world! And now that you're in with shitty roommates, learn how to deal with them in the right way.
When your B/f is around, all of you need to sit down and have a talk. Tell them that you NEED the heater and the dehumidi... (read in full...)
Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?
Q. Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...
A. 30 July 2014:
Your MIL was nasty to you and made you feel bad. You still bear the hurt and resentment within you but is venting it out the best option? I guess not.
My grandmother wasn't really hurtful towards my mom when my parents got married, but she made... (read in full...)
Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?
Q. Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...
A. 29 July 2014: How did you get to hear about the racist remarks? Does your partner know about that you've written here? What is his reaction to this? Does he know that you have problems with the fact that the MIL is playing a double game here, i.e, good to your ... (read in full...)
I want to catch this guy's attention!
Q. This good looking guy moved into my building about a month ago. A couple of weeks back, we arrived at home at the same time. We park diagonally across from each other. He was ahead of me by about 10 meters, but turned to look behind him. He n...
A. 27 July 2014: He may already have a girlfriend. He may be gay. He may be married/divorced/getting over a divorce or a break-up. Or, e may not be interested in pursuing any relationship because he hasnt shown any inclination to talk to you.
If you still want to ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to forgive him and make the marriage work, but friends and family don't undertand why!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and we have 4 kids under the age of 5. A month ago he told me that he had an affair with a coworker. It happened in April and last three weeks, during those three weeks they were together 4 times. H...
A. 27 July 2014: In that case, you just have to stand your ground and hope that your husband respects you and the marriage enough to not ruin everything all over again. If you trust him and trust that you can make this work, then explain to your family and friends ... (read in full...)
I bent over backwards to make it work, but he still dumped me!
Q. My bf, of 4 years, and I just broke up like 20 mins ago. I saw it coming for months now. Since January nothing had been the same. He was distant, disrespectful and basically seemed to live to make me miserable. I tried to work things out for the ...
A. 27 June 2014: You feel sad that he's going to make love to another girl? Seriously, you should PITY her! Do you really want such a disgusting man even touching you, let alone be inside you? He was an asshole OP, he was the worst thing that happened in your life. ... (read in full...)
I bent over backwards to make it work, but he still dumped me!
Q. My bf, of 4 years, and I just broke up like 20 mins ago. I saw it coming for months now. Since January nothing had been the same. He was distant, disrespectful and basically seemed to live to make me miserable. I tried to work things out for the ...
A. 27 June 2014: "Come fuck me"? Really? Why doesn't he just go fuck himself? Asshole!
He's just pushing you to the maximum that he can because (a) he thinks this break-up is just a farce and you cant/wont live without him and (b)he wants a reaction out of you..... (read in full...)
I bent over backwards to make it work, but he still dumped me!
Q. My bf, of 4 years, and I just broke up like 20 mins ago. I saw it coming for months now. Since January nothing had been the same. He was distant, disrespectful and basically seemed to live to make me miserable. I tried to work things out for the ...
A. 27 June 2014: OP believe it or not, I have known someone very similar to your ex. An asshole who didn't have much love from his family, who had no one to care for him, no one to give him any affection. I was the best thing to happen in his life. To top it all, he ... (read in full...)
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