A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sounds straight out of a movie I know. I was with my ex from 2010-2013. We were both 23 and met at a party. We hit it off right away and started dating.I personally thought we had the 'perfect relationship' we never fought, we always knew exactly how to make each other happy and laugh, we had the same hobbies, we traveled in the summers, after a year of dating he started telling me I was the one. He was my first everything. I also had a best friend since high school who I loved dearly. She was really the only other friend I had besides my boyfriend. Her and I drifted apart the last 6-7 months of my relationship with the bf because she got a new job. We still spoke often and went out on weekends but I noticed she slowly started to back off and no longer wanted to hang out with my boyfriend and I. Boyfriend started getting weird the last week of our relationship. He finally admitted that he's been "cheating emotionally" as he called it with my friend for about a month. He gave me the old I love you but I'm not in love anymore line. He told me that he just had a special connection with her and that he's just drawn to her. I cried like a looney toon and was very heart broken, and he just kind of stood there without much emotion. I knew then he didn't love me anymore. To make this short, they started dating about a month after we broke up (surprise). They've been dating off and on since. I lost my best friend and boyfriend in just a matter of minutes. Had a fight with the friend the day him and I broke up, never heard from her again. The boyfriend texted me about a week after we broke up to apologize for everything and that he no longer wants any contact with me, I didn't even reply. That was the last I heard from him also.I found out a few hours ago from a mutual friend that they announced their engagement on Facebook. They are getting married in April. A bunch of our mutual friends will be attending the wedding. Many of our friends kind of picked their side over mine. I don't talk to hardly any of them anymore. His family (I was really close to his mom and sister) totally shunned me out after the break up which is sad because they were family to me, we got along great. So I sit here tonight quite hurt. Everything that happened with those 2 and what they did all just came back and hit me right in the face. I really loved them both. I wonder if they really ever cared about me. This whole situation makes me sick to my stomach. Advice is much appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2016): Any relationship built on lies is built on crumbling foundations. One day you will hear that one of them has cheated....you will see. By that time you really won't care. Live your life be happy. There is so much more out there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2016): I'm so sorry this happened to you, I can only imagine the pain you're in! But now is the time to focus completely and utterly on yourself. As people have already stated, time is the greatest healer, and it'll take time for you to be ok. But whilst you're waiting for that moment when you wake up one morning and realise you no longer care, get yourself out there, it really helps.Get your hair done, nails done, go clothes shopping, even go on vacation! The world is your oyster, and you have no one to hold you back.Avoid finding out about the people that did this to you as it can set any progress you make back to the beginning, and it's kind of torturing yourself. Look after number 1! Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2016): I don't agree with the idea that they won't live happily ever after. They could, couldn't they? Life's a b*tch. They found each other, fell in love and are happy, why wouldn't they sail into the sunset?However, all of that is NONE of your business. And their possible misfortune should not be your consolation.I agree with those who say that you should count your blessings. It is a blessing that he you got rid of them both.I think they DID love you and that they didn't handle the situation well.They erased you from their lives, so that they could be happy and not constantly reminded of how they actually met. That sucks. As if you did something wrong.The only positive way to look at it is that they are actually getting married. So their relationship is growing. They didn't sacrifice the relationship with you for a one-night stand. That would really be a bummer, and gloating about it would make you a lesser person.If your bf left you for someone else you two were never going to get married. He would have fallen in love with another woman, it was just a question of time. The best-friend part is what's actually really tough to swallow. I just hope that didn't go for too long behind your back - that's unforgivable, but falling in love isn't.Nothing is your fault. But it should make you wonder why you had only one friend besides your boyfriend and how come you thought you relationship was perfect. In other words, what was preventing you from having more than one friend and seeing the real state of your relationship?If you haven't seen Almodovar's film "The Flower of My Secret", please see it. You have a life ahead of you. This event does not define who you are.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (26 January 2016):
 Here's what you should do.
Sit, have a good, long cry, cry your heart out and then when you're done, wipe your tears and never ever look back again.
It's going to be difficult now, because its a double betrayal but believe me, you *will* get over it. Time is the best healer and with time, you will get better.
His family have also dealt with the situation in a very immature manner and I'm sure that he and your friend have done their part in getting them to shun you. Being rational grown-ups they should have done differently but take it as a lesson learnt the hardest way OP.
You know now how the guy is. He would have been a terrible boyfriend and never a man that you could have spent your life with. His family too wouldn't have supported you through any difficulties and you got to see their real faces.
Your friend is equally bad and you're better off not having her in your life too.
Block this friend and the ex from Facebook. Don't let them affect you to this extent...don't give them that kind of importance. Neither of them deserve it.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (26 January 2016):
 Sorry you had to experience a double whammy! But look at it this way, you got rid of a cheating BF and a crummy girl friend.
I don't hold out much hope for a happy marriage for them, they have built their relationship on lies and deceit.
Put your chin up and move on with your life. Go out and enjoy yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2016): That is hard! Let them go. They know they have hurt you and they will carry that all their life. You got hurt, but you don't have to punish yourself regarding your common friends. Keep seeing them. Tell them that it's tough for you but you will be OK. That's life. It happens. Don't let them exclude you from this circle of friends. You will meet also new friends, and a new love, a better love with a better man. Take the lesson here: you sound deep and sincere, but perhaps you were a bit too dependent. You say your BF was everything for you, and your BFF was your only real friend. Open yourself, create new connections, and keep a sound distance with others. Keep your friends apart of your love life. And remember this: very few people marry their first partner. Heartbreaks, hurting others, guilt: we all experienced that.
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A
female
reader, mishi 1 +, writes (26 January 2016):
 I am sorry that you are going through this. Don't be upset for losing cheaters from your life. they were cheaters. if they can cheat you the could cheat each other as well.Just be patient and believe in karma.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 January 2016):
 Wow, that is the almost ultimate betrayal from BOTH bestie and BF.
And I'm sorry it happened to you. What a couple of $#%^&#$!
You know what? In the end what may have felt really hurtful and completely out of nowhere might BE the BEST thing that has happened to you.
You got RID of a utterly conniving backstabbing "friend" and a cheating piss poor excuse of a BF. (yes, I know it may not feel that way, but in the end... best thing you can do... is look for the silver lining).
They have a relationship build on lies, deceit, hurting someone (you) and not giving a fly's fart! Do you really think they will ride off into the sunset happily? Well, at least till either of them starts looking for yet greener grass... maybe your BF will start chasing her sister or she his brother.. or dad...
Accept that there IS NOTHING you can do other than LOOK to the future.
Keep yourself busy, surround yourself with people you KNOW care for you and about you and block, delete expunge those two from your life.
Chin up. And *hugs*
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