| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Why would a man stay with a woman who subjects him to emotional/ psychological (mental) abuse?
Q. I have this male friend who is constantly getting mental abuse from his girlfriend for the past couple years they've been together. He has told me he tells his girlfriend how it makes him feel but she continues to do. I've told him to leave he...
A. 3 June 2015: He stays with her because he chooses to and wants to and frankly, you should stay out of their relationship.
No one knows what goes on between two people in a relationship and it is entirely up to THEM and them alone to conduct their relation... (read in full...)
Can women realistically start a family past 30?
Q. I suppose the purpose of this question is to hear from women who have started a family after the age of 30. Those of you in the UK might have seen that a top fertility doctor has just said publicly that women who want kids should try before t...
A. 3 June 2015: OP I'm 32 and I chose to do a PhD and get into the teaching profession. I still don't have a tenured job and when I do, I will most likely be on probation for a couple of years, which means that I personally cannot ever imagine getting pregnant and ... (read in full...)
We argue every single day! Is this healthy?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship with my partner for over 2 years,he loves me to death and I can see it in his eyes,the way he looks at me and cares for me!but I have one issue we argue a lot like every single day and most of the times he apologis...
A. 1 June 2015: OK...that's good OP...I'm glad that you have finally taken a firm decision to work on your relationship and stand by him. This is really very nice to know! If a relationship was saved because of Dear Cupid, really, what could be better than that?
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is tiring me out by following a routine that does not suit a young mother. What can I do to get him to realise this?
Q. Hi everyone my problem is my boyfriend we have been together for nearly 3 year we have a 5 month old son together. He goes to work, finishes at 4 comes to mine at 6 for tea, goes home, and comes back when our son is asleep. By then I'm tired and go...
A. 30 May 2015: Why dont you live together?? You have a baby together so why the separate living arrangement?
How exactly does he contribute to the logistics of your house and the relationship? Because as of now, it seems like he's having the best time ever...h... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex's girlfriend that we made out and had oral sex?
Q. I was recently in my ex's hometown and we hung out even though he has a girlfriend. He called me as soon as I got to my hotel and we had drinks. Within two hours we were making out, and fooling around (oral sex, boob sucking, dirty talk) he wanted ...
A. 26 May 2015: Why the sudden moral compass? It sure didn't matter to you when you were fooling around with someone else's boyfriend, why are you so concerned about his cheating now?
You don't feel bad; if you did, you wouldn't even venture into the grey are... (read in full...)
He seemed to treat our date as if I was on his payroll
Q. Hi everyone Please let me know if you think i am crazy but i went on a day out recently with the boss of a large firm. This guy has been flirting with me for ages and i agreed to go with him and his staff. I did seek assurance that i wouldnt be...
A. 24 May 2015: I agree with everything that the first poster said. At least he was concerned about you, its not like he was flirting with other women and that he ditched you! And being the boss of a large firm means he's used to delegating responsibility, that's ... (read in full...)
We argue every single day! Is this healthy?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship with my partner for over 2 years,he loves me to death and I can see it in his eyes,the way he looks at me and cares for me!but I have one issue we argue a lot like every single day and most of the times he apologis...
A. 23 May 2015: You think like this because you're not happy in your relationship. Only when a person is deeply unhappy do they think in this way. You keep thinking that there might be someone better because clearly you're unhappy and you think you can and will ... (read in full...)
A girl texted me saying that my b/f asked for her number. I don't know how to talk to him about it
Q. I need to speak to my boyfriend about something that has previously caused problems in the past in our relationship. The problem is, and it may sound stupid, but I don't know how to tell him. Basically, a girl has messaged me and said that my boy...
A. 22 May 2015: "Hey, you know some random girl texted me a few days back telling me that you'd asked for her number. Look, here's the message. What do you think about it"?
However, first things first, try and identify the number if you can. Run it through ... (read in full...)
What is he trying to imply? He sent me back a message saying ''love,love,serve''
Q. I wrote this man and said we are attracted to each other, he wrote me back and said love, love, serve. I know that is a tennis term, but what does he mean?...
A. 22 May 2015: He basically means that he feels the same way about you and the ball is (quite literally!!) in your court! He wants you to make the first move.... (read in full...)
Can someone explain this co-worker?
Q. My male co worker refuses my help with at work. I don't really ask him if he needs help but if I walk by him he will wait for about 5 or 10 minutes until someone else comes along. It's really simple things too, like can I help watch his class or ...
A. 22 May 2015: Why bother? Just ignore him
You tried to be nice, he's not reciprocating, don't give it a second thought. Some people are just plain weird and there's no point wasting your time trying to decipher them.
Unless of course you like him or you ... (read in full...)
We argue every single day! Is this healthy?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship with my partner for over 2 years,he loves me to death and I can see it in his eyes,the way he looks at me and cares for me!but I have one issue we argue a lot like every single day and most of the times he apologis...
A. 20 May 2015: I read your follow-ups once again and I think I'm beginning to see the pattern more clearly now. To add to what I had said, you are both stuck in a rut; him more than you. The reason I say this is because at least you are making an attempt to get ... (read in full...)
We argue every single day! Is this healthy?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship with my partner for over 2 years,he loves me to death and I can see it in his eyes,the way he looks at me and cares for me!but I have one issue we argue a lot like every single day and most of the times he apologis...
A. 20 May 2015: OK...wait...hold on...there are a lot of issues here.
You wanted to go to church and he didn't call and check on you. Why is this such a big issue for you? You do realize something here right? In the ordinary course of events, this would never be... (read in full...)
We argue every single day! Is this healthy?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship with my partner for over 2 years,he loves me to death and I can see it in his eyes,the way he looks at me and cares for me!but I have one issue we argue a lot like every single day and most of the times he apologis...
A. 20 May 2015: Yes OP, I completely understand where you're coming from. You have to realize one thing though.
You are not handling your problems in the right way.
Only when you accept this premise, can you be in a position to change your situation.
Th... (read in full...)
We argue every single day! Is this healthy?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship with my partner for over 2 years,he loves me to death and I can see it in his eyes,the way he looks at me and cares for me!but I have one issue we argue a lot like every single day and most of the times he apologis...
A. 18 May 2015: Ah...just as I'd thought.
The fact that your professional life is difficult is pushing you to lash out at him; and like every action has an equal and opposite reaction, he attacks you as well when he feels defenseless.
OP all of us face probl... (read in full...)
We argue every single day! Is this healthy?
Q. Hi, I am in a relationship with my partner for over 2 years,he loves me to death and I can see it in his eyes,the way he looks at me and cares for me!but I have one issue we argue a lot like every single day and most of the times he apologis...
A. 17 May 2015: There have to be some deeper underlying issues because even the most irrational of people will not argue without a reason.
What exactly are you disagreeing upon?
Do you have money issues?
Is your sex life on the decline?
Do either of you h... (read in full...)
Should a guy pay on a date?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for awhile. We've 'hung out' lots of times, but since we hadn't admitted we liked each other during those hangouts, it was like a friend thing and I always paid for myself. Even when I borrowed a few dollars for bus money ...
A. 17 May 2015: I dated an extremely stingy guy once upon a time and let me tell you, once a scrooge, always a scrooge.
If money is an issue when things havent even started yet, its going to blow up in your face big time in the future. You will be constant... (read in full...)
She asked me to do a project for her...after she already asked somebody else to do the same thing!
Q. Hi, I am a single male in NYC. I know this woman who is very pretty and married. Let's call her S. I guess you can say we are friendly acquaintances. She has done things which have offended me in the past, like planning to meet up and then canceli...
A. 15 May 2015: OP there is a way of conducting yourself with dignity. Calling people names is not the way to do it. If anything, its takes the focus away from the other person's negatives and puts YOU in a bad light.
If you didn't like what she was doing an... (read in full...)
When is my man likely to feel motivated enough to tell me that he loves me? what could be holding him back?
Q. When will my man say that he loves me? We've been together for 4 months. I've asked some of my girlfriends and they've said he should have said it after about 3 months. We spend every free moment we can together, we have similar interests, he al...
A. 14 May 2015: People are different OP. My fiance told me that he was in love with me on our FIRST date...and I was almost running for the hills, thinking that this man's a nutcase! It took me a long time to understand that he was sincere in what he was saying and ... (read in full...)
Should my Mom and I continue to share the same boyfriend?
Q. My mom A fell pregnant at 15 and dropped out of school. She later completed her matric and qualified as a nurse. While my mother was studying my grandparents cared for me. My mother did not neglect me but regretted that she could not give me all ...
A. 6 May 2015: And here I thought I had heard it all!!
Seriously...are you even aware of the repercussions of your actions? Where is all this even leading to? You and your own mother are having SEX with the same man and that too in each others presence... (read in full...)
If I really am the woman he is in love with and plans to be with for the rest of his life why has he made getting married so difficult?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years going on 3. We have two babies and are pretty serious about eachother. The only problem is that we seem to have completely different views about marriage. I want to get married desperately. Every inch of my ...
A. 30 April 2015: OP if you've given him everything that a married man gets, without getting married to him first, why would he want to get married to you? You're offering him all the perks of married life outside of marriage so he obviously doesn't want to legalize ... (read in full...)
What can I do about about my partner's willingness to be too kind for his own good?
Q. Situation is this.... My partner and I have been together for a year and a half and we live together. My partner has an ex wife with whom he is still going through separation issues and settlements. The separation was nasty so he has left it al...
A. 28 April 2015: OP let me tell you something.
There is no such thing as being "too kind" in today's world and neither is anyone so naive, that they don't know, realize or understand the implications of what's happening to them or how much they are willing ... (read in full...)
!When I ask him why he doesn't give me any sex he answers that he just got lazy...Does that make any sense to anybody?
Q. Ive got a confusing situation that boggles my mind. But maybe there is someone out there with answers to help me understand things. Ive been with my guy for about a year now. I take our relationship VERY serious. Even when I have outside temptati...
A. 27 April 2015: Maybe his sex drive doesn't match with yours. Jacking off to a webcam model doesn't require him to pleasure HER in any way...its basically just an instant gratification for him without having to put in any effort to please her.
As you say, you... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by canceling this trip to see my friend?
Q. Dear Cupid I just reunited with a friend of mine from years ago.He wanted me to come and visit him in a another state I felt ok about it but this morning I heard a voice telling me this trip I won't be taking my first thought was to run like hell ...
A. 27 April 2015: No second thoughts, you did the right thing. Good for you OP!! Yes you would be reduced just to an FWB and thank God you didnt allow that to happen. You deserve much better. You listened to your instincts. That was the best thing you could go. ... (read in full...)
He can't be happy with his girlfriend because he kissed me!
Q. I'm going to try not to make this too long but I met this boy from online, his name is Jordan, and I think he's really great. He's perfect apart from the fact that he has a girlfriend (They became official 3 days before I met him in person). I ...
A. 27 April 2015: All I'll say is, stop fooling yourself. Jordan has no intentions of leaving his her and whatever he's told you about her is a completely one-sided view, to make you dislike her, so that he can keep playing you by getting sympathy from you AND be ... (read in full...)
Can a marriage last if only one side is in love with the other?
Q. Ok so I've got in to a big mess and take full responsibility and need some advice. Please don't judge me as I hate myself enough right now..... 8 years ago I met a wonderful man whilst visiting some friends in another part of the UK. We hit it o...
A. 25 April 2015: What you have is a problem of plenty.
You have a guy who adores you, pampers you, indulges you, loves you and yet you're not happy. I doubt if you ever will be. You have something that most girls would kill for and yet you say you don't feel the... (read in full...)
Will my fiance from another country be able to accept my culture? I think he's jealous
Q. Will my overseas born fiance be able to accept my American culture? He is so very loyal and romantic and attentive to me. I'm really in love with him. I think it's a miracle to find love halfway across the planet. I'm in the u.s. and he's from an...
A. 25 April 2015: Good grief...this is certainly NOT normal!!! What is wrong with you OP? This man's behavior is utter nonsense! He wants to "protect" you? By accessing your emails and facebook account?
OP this guy just wants to rule you with an iron fist. Be... (read in full...)
He cheated on his last girlfriend. I am constantly worried my BF will cheat on me.
Q. Does lack of trust in a relationship manifest itself over time in a person? I am wondering if it takes a toll on somebody physically and emotionally, ie. emotional overload, tiredness, depression, withdrawal, tension and aches in the back and ...
A. 19 April 2015: Does lack of trust in a relationship manifest itself over time in a person?
Yes, yes, yes it does! There are physical and emotional manifestations and after a point of time it takes a toll on you and affects your emotional, physical and mental w... (read in full...)
Missing my ex. Not feeling same connection in new relationship. Can I or should I try to gain my friend back?
Q. Hey I've had bad breakup almost 5 to 6 months ago. I barely survived the first month of the breakup as my health got really bad and I was spending my nights in the hospital. We didn't get in touch and there was no asking about each other or anyth...
A. 19 April 2015: If you ask me, you're certainty not ready for a new relationship because you are in NO way over the ex.
Give yourself time. Heal. Develop a hobby. Go out and meet friends and stay in and watch re-runs of Modern Family. Do anything but date som... (read in full...)
She was insistent on including her daughters in our invitation to her and then she was a no-show! I wasted £300 on all 4 of them!
Q. I got married over a month ago and I invited a friend of mine - we used to work together and became really good friends so I invited both her and husband to my wedding for the entire day. When my friend received her invite she called to as...
A. 1 April 2015: You got married! Enjoy your new life rather than getting pissed over someone who doesnt deserve it in the LEAST. Yes, her behavior was rude and extremely annoying but then again, whats more important here? The fact that she aggravated you or the ... (read in full...)
I burst into tears when I saw how my boyfriend lives in squalor, what now?
Q. My 38 year old boyfriend of one year knew I was on my way round. What I saw horrified me. He is living in complete squalor. Dirty filthy conditions I would not put a dog in. He smoothed over it all saying he's busy with work and replacing a chimney ...
A. 31 March 2015: I dated someone briefly who lived in what I would say was worse than a pig-sty. I tried cleaning up and making his place livable but there were times when I would go to his place and see food rotting on the floor, cigarette stubs, and I cant even ... (read in full...)
I cry everyday and want to be happy again!
Q. I don't know what to do anymore. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years now. He is 25 and I am 26. Our relationship was long-distance for about eight months before he moved across the country to be with me. Everything about...
A. 12 February 2015: I was reading your post and thinking how much you;ve been wronged until you said, "I love this guy more than life itself, but I don't know what to do anymore. I know he loves me, and I know he'd do anything for me"
OP you're living in serious ... (read in full...)
I am seriously thinking about putting my 2 year old up for adoption! Advice?
Q. Hi please don't judge me for this : I am seriously thinking about putting my 2 year old up for adoption. I love her but I am not the mother I hoped to be or she deserves. I cry on a daily basis, find myself snapping at her. The burst into tea...
A. 27 January 2015: I had honestly never thought that a mother would say this but if you think that another family would do a better job than you at raising your daughter and keep her happy and healthy, then yes, by all means, give her up for adoption to someone who ... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend cheat on me if we don't commit and have sex?
Q. Hi there, I've been thinking all this while about my current boyfriend, who is 31years old. I am 23. Let me brief you all before i ask for help here. So, my current bf used to be my ex-boss in my previous company where I worked. He casually asked me...
A. 26 January 2015: OP everything in your story tells me that you shouldnt be having sex with this guy....ever! He's insincere, he's a manipulative older man who knows you're naive and can be fooled easily, he's pressuring you for sex, he's sleeping around with ex'es ... (read in full...)
Its a very delicate subject ......
Q. I have a problem with my mother in law who likes to sit on my husbands lap for photos - not every time but just when she feels like it that is what she does. She just gets up off a chair and sits on their lap and this seems 'normal' to them but not ...
A. 24 January 2015: OP my question to you is, you knew all this before you got married, so why didn't you raise this issue then? And why is it affecting you so much now when you were already prepared for this behavior?
You saw her during the time your fiance w... (read in full...)
Can my girlfriend overcome her troubled past enough for me to learn to trust her again?
Q. To give a quick run down on the situation, my girlfriend of now over 6 years and I have been through some horrible times. I will preface this by apologizing for the length of this, there was a lot to say! Firstly let me give you the ru...
A. 19 January 2015: One word. Codependency.
You love her and its commendable that you've stuck it out for so long but all I'll say is, you can do better. Unless she chooses to help herself, you cant really do anything. She'll be fine for a few days and then go back ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him about putting off sex until he feels he can trust me again?
Q. I am in a rut in my relationship. Long story short I cheated, There was no physical cheating. I was texting my manager and deleting the messages..they were not in any way inappropriate but I knew the fact bothered my fiancee so instead of nipping ...
A. 18 January 2015: I don't really think you were wrong OP because the messages weren't sexual and it doesn't even sound like emotional cheating; what was wrong was that you deleted the messages and everyone knows that you only try to hide something when you think ... (read in full...)
She's completely undermined my sexual confidence with her comments about her ex
Q. Let me apologize in advance for another penis post . LOL I can relate to the commentS I have read about being rejected and worrying my penis is inadequate. I am average but thick. 6" long and 6" around and she still tries to make me feel goo...
A. 18 January 2015: All right OP, I'm going to tell you a couple of things here. First is a rule that I always follow in life myself, and that is, no one can ever make you feel inferior without your consent. Always remember this OP.
Don't allow yourself to feel bad... (read in full...)
My fiancee seems to not try to impress me anymore or even bother having sex with me.
Q. Im getting married in a year and a half to my fiancee. We have an 8 year age gap and I love him very much. With the past month though I feel I am cracking up.I'm not sure am I just over thinking or what but I feel he is letting me down alot. It all ...
A. 16 January 2015: See this is why I'm not a fan of living together before marriage because if you're giving the guy everything that he would get in a marriage, why on earth would he even go that extra mile to make you happy now?
You've said it yourself that you... (read in full...)
When is it OK to have sex with your ex?
Q. When is it ok to have sex with your ex? I (25/f) dumped my ex (30/m) 6 weeks ago. He' s recently offered me a plane ticket to see him to catch up, check in on each other, and have a last time go in bed. Initially we were both excited, as I'd already ...
A. 13 January 2015: The short answer to your question is NEVER. And the long answer...well, NEVER. There you go. There's never a good time to have sex with an ex (they're an ex for a *reason*) and these arrangements never end well.... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with letting the past year haunt me!
Q. Hi everyone. Can I firstly say thanks to everyone who reads this questions and reply. Please don't judge me as I'm finding it hard hence why I'm asking for advice. Il try to cut it short. Me and my boyfriend started dating when I was only 16. Fiv...
A. 12 January 2015: You're feeling this way because all through your relationship and ever since you've known him, you were the only woman in his life. There was never anyone else on the scene, there was no insecurity, no past, nothing. And now suddenly, there was ... (read in full...)
Don't know if I can be life partners with some-one so soft, but I do love him
Q. I don't know how I feel about my boyfriend anymore. Though he is nice and everything any woman can wish for in a way he cares about me, but he has what we say soft bones. We went out yesterday, and the behavour of a server was unspeac...
A. 10 January 2015: Its your personal preference OP. I've been with guys who've been way too fighter-cocky and guys who've been like your boyfriend and I can say that I would like someone who is somewhere mid-way but definitely leaning more towards your boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
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