| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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My boyfriend is spending time with his kid's Mum, am I right to be annoyed?
Q. ? Boyfriend Spending Time With kids mom So basically, ive been seeing a guy for 6 months now, we both have one child each. When we first got together him and his ex (who he was with for 8 years, broken up 2 years) weren't on great terms b...
A. 7 July 2015: If she wont let you meet the kid and your boyfriend and the ex weren't on great terms earlier buts seem to be doing fine now, then I feel she's trying to wean your B/f away from you. And he's allowing her to do so.
Why doesn't she let you meet the... (read in full...)
I know that our relationship can work. How do I confront him about the naked sexual photos on his phone?
Q. Basically, I've found pictures of a girl on my boyfriends phone. The pictures were sexual, it makes me feel sick. We've been through this sort of problem before. Last time, I found messages and one picture. I told my self I would never let anyone...
A. 6 July 2015: Its happened before, its happened again and it will keep happening because your B/f has proven that once a cheater, always a cheater.
You're basically wanting to hold on to the relationship out of stubbornness just to prove a point to everyone... (read in full...)
What is love? Can anyone help me define true lasting love? How do I recognise true love?
Q. What is love? Do you have to first experience it to know how to recognise it, to understand how it feels? It seems to me as if most couples just go through the motions, they don't actually have love nor really understand it. They get together...
A. 6 July 2015: Love is something that really cant be described or defined in words....it's, what the French call, je ne sais quoi. Its a feeling, a very strong emotion of bonding, togetherness, intimacy, complete surrender of emotions, ego and of the self.
As ... (read in full...)
I am having trouble giving up control and it's ruining our love making. What can be done?
Q. I need help, now. My fiance and I have been together for a year and a half and are moving in together soon. We have a problem and it is beginning to seriously affect our relationship. Every now and then she will become filled with love and lust for...
A. 6 July 2015: She's more of a romantic and you're more of a pragmatist. She wants the fairy-tale romance, the lust, love and displays of affection that come with a relationship while you, even though you love her, are more grounded in reality and try not to let ... (read in full...)
I'm single and have made a decision that I'll not become a mother. Is this a decision I might regret later?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 30 year old woman who is single with no children. My family (more so my parents and 2 sisters) have been getting on my case for lack of a better word, for not having started a family by now and for have been single for so lo...
A. 6 July 2015: Look I'm 32 and I don't want children either. However, I don't know how things will change (if at all they do) once I get married. Maybe I will want children or maybe I wont.
OP what's important to know is that no decision is 'right' or 'wrong'.... (read in full...)
My partner seems uninterested in sex. What can I do?
Q. I've been with my partner for 4 years now, and generally our relationship is great, but we do have a problem. I know I have a higher sex drive than he does, but over the last couple of years his just seems to keep decreasing. I can only remember...
A. 5 July 2015: I get the feeling that after 4 years, the sex has become more like a chore, he feels there's nothing exciting about it, that he's seen it all and done it all, and that even the exercise of taking his clothes off and getting in the mood with the ... (read in full...)
How can I have the life I want if I must also take care of my mother?
Q. This is a slightly long post but I appreciate your advise and support. I am a 40 year old woman who's separated from an alcoholic man. I have no children. I am on the verge of filing for divorce though he wants to be with me. But I don't think I ...
A. 4 July 2015: If this is the case then you just have to have your mum live with you and yet continue dating and look for a guy who would be accepting of the fact that your mum is an inseparable part of your life and needs looking after.
OP after a certain ... (read in full...)
I've looked forward all year to going into the ocean but because of recent shark attacks my mother is forbidding it!
Q. This isn't exactly about a romantic relationship,but I'm really hurting and hope you will please help me. It's hurting me a lot. I've got a dilemna. I'm from the coast, and the ocean was always a big part of our lifestyle, and I never had any ...
A. 2 July 2015: Look, I am against the view that you should go behind your mom's back and do something which she feels so deeply about. Either try to convince her or respect her wishes and don't do it. ... (read in full...)
How to deal with sexually abusive wife?
Q. My wife of a decade will not respond to me sexually at all. She used to be very fit but now she has gained a lot of weight (from 100lbs to maybe 150 lbs). I still think she is sexy, but she says she hates her body. I can understand why she feels th...
A. 29 June 2015: First of all, the title is misleading. This isn't sexual abuse; your wife is withholding sex and is verbally abusive towards you. Sexual abuse is something completely different. Sexual abuse is forcing undesired sexual behavior by one person upon ... (read in full...)
Sick of ex's older wife
Q. I have a son who is 6 years old and my ex currently has more custody than I do, I get him every other weekend. My problem is I'm so sick of my ex's wife and really don't want her around my son. For starters she's 46 years old, 10 years older than ...
A. 28 June 2015: I dont know how I can say this without being blunt but do you really hear yourself?
The truth is that you cant stand the fact that your ex husband's new wife has made your son feel so welcome that he thinks of her as his mother and would rather b... (read in full...)
Why would he discuss plans and say he loves me, yet soon after he blocked me?
Q. Why did he want something serious and then disappear and block me? I met this guy online. We hit it off and had an instant connection. After talking for a month, we met in person. He met my friends and hung out with us a few times. We connected an...
A. 25 June 2015: OP as harsh as it sounds right now, you just need to get over it. He blocked you. That's extremely insulting and you shouldn't be thinking about why or how he did it....instead you should be telling yourself that you want nothing ever to do with ... (read in full...)
Why would he discuss plans and say he loves me, yet soon after he blocked me?
Q. Why did he want something serious and then disappear and block me? I met this guy online. We hit it off and had an instant connection. After talking for a month, we met in person. He met my friends and hung out with us a few times. We connected an...
A. 24 June 2015: Maybe he has someone else on the side and was two-timing you? Then when things worked out with her he just blanked you out?
I dont know OP, just a guess....like the others have said, it all seems very vague and we can only just guess... (read in full...)
He wants time apart after our years together. Does this suggest that he's already seeing someone else?
Q. Why would my boyfriend after 22 yrs tell me that we need time apart ? i feel he has been seeing someone else he always makes me feel like im nobody to him ...
A. 23 June 2015: If someone hasn't married you after 22 years of being together, there's your answer!
He doesn't want to be tied down and never did. He always kept that little window of opportunity open where he could take off whenever he wanted, with no consider... (read in full...)
How do I get my head around the fact that he's rejected me because I have a child?
Q. My ex and I were together for a year and we've been broken up for 4mos. He came back a month ago wanting a second chance but then changed his mind. He says that he doesn't want to be with me because I have a child. I'm trying my best not to cry w...
A. 23 June 2015: OP the point isn't that he doesn't want to be with you.
The bigger issue is that YOU shouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't love you for who you are.
You have a history, you have a baby daughter, you are a mother...all of this goes in ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend says the spark is gone, she wants to see other people then calls me crying wanting to know if I love her. What am I doing wrong?
Q. So I've been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for a little over two years now. Everything started off great until about the one year mark. She started acting differently. She seemed to be unamused, bored, and irritable. Nothi...
A. 21 June 2015: OP the thing that we need to consider here is that nothing happens in a vacuum. Have there been any problems in her family life? Place of work? Is she depressed? She's behaving like a moody brat and I honestly don't know how much longer you can o... (read in full...)
I'm scared she'll meet someone else or never come back. How can I deal with and come to terms with my Gf's travel plans?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for two and half years now. I love her to pieces and have helped her through some tough times (her dad passing away being one of them). She's 19 and coming to the end of an apprenticeship whereas i'm 22 and run my o...
A. 21 June 2015: Travelling for six months? Where's she going to get the money from? 6 months is a hell of a long time!
Anyway, OP there is no right or wrong answer here. If you trust her, then there is really nothing you can do about it except to let her go and h... (read in full...)
My Bf's best friend is dating her. Yet she's becoming a fixture at my Bf's place. Am I being too suspicious and too territorial?
Q. My boyfriend's best friend has recently started dating this girl who is a well known village mattress and trust me I'm sugar coating it. At first I had no problem with her however over the past 3 weeks she's insisted on spending visiting my boyfrien...
A. 19 June 2015: Look, I wouldn't be suspicious of this girl, I would be irritated.
I dont think she's trying to "get" your B/f...what she IS trying to do is to get too familiar, and that is what would really irritate me.
Talk to your boyfriend. Tell ... (read in full...)
Why was my wife so good to her cheating ex partners but I have to beg for sex?
Q. My wife and I are very happily married. However, in the past she was involved in very emotionally abusive relationships in the past where she put up with a lot of cheating and verbal abuse. She told me that she always tried to give more of herself ...
A. 17 June 2015: You answered your own question. "She always tried to give more of herself to her former partners (emotionally and physically) in the hopes that it would stop their ways, but it never did."
Which means that this was something that she did not by c... (read in full...)
Is it weird to track your BF/GF's whereabouts on Find My Friends App on iPhone?
Q. What does everybody think of tracking your boyfriend or girlfriend's whereabouts on the Find My Friends App on iPhone? Where you use GPS to know exactly where they are on a map (or where their phone is) at any given time throughout the day... unless ...
A. 16 June 2015: You're basically asking if it's OK to stalk each other?
Well, in this world its not, but maybe in some parallel universe where there's absolutely no notion of love, understanding, faith and most importantly trust in a relationship...I'd say go f... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like the old wounds are being opened again after 7 months apart?
Q. My ex and I were on and off for few years and we lived 4 hours apart. We were planning to meet up last time but the plans kept falling through because of conflicting schedules .Then he ended up meeting someone closer. He had met other females wh...
A. 14 June 2015: Precisely.
You're bored, lonely, you havent had any luck with guys since your break-up while your ex seems to have moved on and is with other women while you're still hung up on him.
The mind is a powerful tool OP. If you let your imagination... (read in full...)
I slapped him, he slapped me back, what should I do?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend *lets call him Tyler) for 3 years. He proposed to me last month but since then we just seem to argue. He purposefully does and says thing to get reactions and when i snap he goes in a really childish ...
A. 14 June 2015: Wait WHAT???
Let me try to wrap my head around whatever you're saying. So you're 17, you said yes to marriage with this kid who's the same age as you, you are physically abusive towards each other, you're obviously sexually active and now you're a... (read in full...)
Am I being too harsh getting annoyed with my fiancé's bed-wetting and his behaviour when he is very drunk?
Q. Am I just being over sensitive? My fiance and I do not go out very often, mainly due to finances, but he does get to go out more often than I do. I don't mind this as I am a bit more of a 'home' person. However there is something about his beha...
A. 13 June 2015: My God this is extreme! He wets the bed and is out of control...I would be shit scared just being around such a person! The very idea of this man is revolting to me.
OP please leave him, he's not normal and you don't deserve this. This is just bey... (read in full...)
Am I being unrealistic wanting a fairytale ending?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 10 months. We hit a rough patch.I take medication for anxiety and depression and I've only just started them the doctor told me that they take a few weeks to kick in and that my anxiety and depression will get...
A. 12 June 2015: Stop using your fairy tale notions of a relationship as a band-aid for your emotional problems. Wanting to have sex 4-5 times a day and then pouting when your partner isn't up for it just reflects your constant desire to be "wanted" by him so that ... (read in full...)
He seems more interested in a stupid video game and getting high, I only get his attention when I offer something "sexy"!
Q. Okay sooooo am i overreacting? Or has something seemed to happen. So this guy and i have been bestfriends or at least thats what i always thought thats what it was but he told me the other day that he just called me that cuz he was "in love" with ...
A. 12 June 2015: You're engaged to a worthless junkie drug addict and you're scared that HE'LL leave you?!
Now I've heard everything!
... (read in full...)
Colleague has become my best friend....but should we start dating?
Q. A new guy started working with me a year ago. He is the level above me and more qualified (im training to gain the same qualifications). Over the last year he has become one of my best friends. Hes great company and we get on unbelieveably well. He ...
A. 11 June 2015: I really cannot stress this enough and I hate using caps lock to prove my point but PLEASE DO NOT GET INTO THIS!
Trust me OP, take it from someone who's made the exact same mistake that you're thinking of getting into. I was best friends with a m... (read in full...)
Does he really want me to leave? Do I leave like he told me to?
Q. Ive been with my husband for 10 years, married for for 7 years on the 14th. Sometimes when we argue he tells me to pack my stuff and leave. I never do. But this time.. i'm really considering packing my things. Our arguments are always over ...
A. 9 June 2015: Why is there so much bitterness between the two of you? What's at the bottom of all this anger and hurt? No one just snaps at anyone without a reason, no matter how irrational the person. And if he's asking you to "just leave" then he seems to have ... (read in full...)
How do I stop obsessing over my married ex who would like to have sex with me?
Q. Hi.I feel really embarrassed writing this but I feel like I need to vent and maybe get some advice. I used to be involved with this guy. I lost my virginity to him (he doesn't know) and ended up really falling for him. It never turned into a ...
A. 9 June 2015: Just send the messages to his wife and kick his sorry ass to the curb. ... (read in full...)
I broke her trust . . . How can I ever get it back?
Q. Hello, I need some good advice... I have broken my gf's trust (lets call her P). We broke up a couple of nights ago. Anyways, it all started at the beginning of our relationship. I didn't tell her about my ex (call her S); S and I had dated for ...
A. 8 June 2015: Are you really sure you can handle a long distance relationship? Because it seems to me that you get bored, depressed and distracted and lose control over yourself. You're perfectly fine and happy as long as P is around you and when she's away from ... (read in full...)
My love life is falling apart again! My boyfriend seems to have lost his sex drive and I have a dear friend flirting with me making me feel desirable! What do I do?
Q. My love life is falling apart. I have a fantastic boyfriend who I love dearly. He is kind and sensitive and I really am the centre of his world. The issue is that for the past two months we haven't had sex. It's making me insecure. I've got issues ...
A. 8 June 2015: Why have you not had sex in two months? Is your boyfriend under stress? Work pressures? Studies? Family problems? Are you in an LDR?
There has to be some reason for the sex to completely stop, he couldn't have stopped just out of the blue. W... (read in full...)
Almost 18 years married: Should I stay or should I go?
Q. I have been married for almost 18 years. We have 5 children ages 6 to 16. We only dated 6 weeks before we decided to get married because we were having sex, it was great, and we knew, being Christians and having met in church, that it was wrong. So ...
A. 7 June 2015: I know its pointless to ask you this now but why did you even consider having FIVE children with this emotionally and physically abusive man who you never loved? Not only have you spoiled your own life with your rash decisions, you've brought ... (read in full...)
I can't remember if I cheated on my fiance, or not, last year, as I was so drunk. Should I tell my fiance?
Q. My fiance are together seven years, and for two years we struggled with infertility, which had us fighting a lot and caused a lot of resentment, stress and guilt for me. I felt like I had failed him, I couldnt give him what he wanted most. Last y...
A. 6 June 2015: I agree, the title is misleading. I thought as well that you're pregnant and you don't know who the father is because you cheated on your B/f.
What I dont understand is that, when you're finally pregnant after all this while, why are you ponderin... (read in full...)
My Bf's Mom told him to break up with me, though we are still dating. How do I handle her interference?
Q. I have been dating this guy we live together in our own little apartment for 2 years, 90% of our fights is about his mom and younger sister. His sister is the same age as me. His Mom and his sister will come to our apartment without me knowing ...
A. 6 June 2015: What a pathetic, sad little man! You seriously want to be with someone like him?
Look, don't take this like an ego thing, that you know, "I'll show his mom that no matter what she says he'll come running to me eventually". Its not worth it.
... (read in full...)
Can a married man fall in love with another woman, yet never leave his wife?
Q. Can a married man fall in love with another woman he has been with for 2-3 years but never leave his wife?...
A. 6 June 2015: Isn't that how the "married-man cheating syndrome" works? They never really leave their wives. Very rarely, if at all.
Read the answers, especially the second answer from the top, to this question that was posted on DC.
http://www.de... (read in full...)
can't get over her. I'm getting crazy!
Q. So, i dated her once and after a time i asked for a second date and she rejected the second date over and over again with different excuses. After all this, situation has been uncomfortable in class with her. I still really really like her. I can't ...
A. 5 June 2015: Dude get a hold on yourself!! What are you doing? You'll just end up scaring her, as I'm sure you already have by coming on too strong. You might like her but if she doesnt feel the same way for you, there's really nothing you can do about it.
... (read in full...)
What to do if the sex still sucks after 2 years? She doesn't seem to be into me...Nor into sex in general
Q. I'm not feeling like I'm sexually wanted by my girlfriend of now 2 years. I'm 25 and she's 28 and we've been, as said, together for 2 years. In the start we had debates about this and eventually it settled to sex when I wanted to have sex b...
A. 5 June 2015: What is exactly is "great sex"? Most women don't climax from penetration and need clitoral stimulation to finish. Do you do that for her?
Its clear that both of you have different definitions of great sex. For her, what you have is good. For you,... (read in full...)
I'm crushing on a stripper!
Q. Went to a male strip club with a friend and had a blast! We weren't there for anything but dancing and the shows. I was dancing with my friend when I turned around and saw two very sweet blue eyes. He was a new dancer who seemed kinda serious and ...
A. 5 June 2015: It was an act most likely. OK just to make you happy, lets say it wasn't and he really liked you. So in that case...would you be fine dating a stripper? Knowing that he does this to earn a living, that other women see him naked and he flirts with ... (read in full...)
I'm bothered and bewildered by this guy!
Q. Hi Agony Aunts! Okay, so you've probably seen this question a billion times, but I can't help but seek advice anyway so...backstory! I met this guy on a dating site and after exchanging a few messages decided to meet up for a quick lunch, as my...
A. 5 June 2015: Wait...two years and you've only kissed ONCE? You have a text-based "relationship" and yet it seems like there's not much communication at all. Honestly, this doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Are you sure he even thinks this is a relationship?
... (read in full...)
My ex is using my insecurities as a bargaining tool.
Q. Hi everyone I need some reassurance, really, as I'm finding it hard to properly separate from my ex and he keeps talking about getting back together - it's confusing me and I keep being drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. Maybe the first thin...
A. 4 June 2015: You cannot put enough oceans between you unless you decide that you don't want to be be with him and stand by your decision. The mind is the most powerful tool OP. You can change your life for the better or ruin/destroy/wreck it, just by the power ... (read in full...)
Why? Gf randomly says she doesn't love me, after over a year of happiness
Q. I'll try to keep this as short as possible. My ex an I were together for roughly a year and for months. I'm 21 and my ex in question is 23. I met my girlfriend (now ex) on January 27. We met on a social networking app. She lived about an hour away ...
A. 3 June 2015: OP let me give you a hug first because I feel that as of now, you need that more than anything else. I feel your pain and you seem like a really nice guy who's just been really unlucky. I'll try to answer your questions as best as I can. "Is i... (read in full...)
Wife and I don't talk anymore ,house is silent. Any ideas on how to break this behavior?
Q. I need an advice on how to turn thigs back to where there were with my wife. We ve been married for more than 20 years. Our only child went to college across the country and stayed there to live. So, it's just 2 of us in a house. I have to admi...
A. 3 June 2015: Your wife has reached the limit of her patience with you and has, in her own way, given up on the marriage and has started a new life of her own, one that doesnt involve you. To be honest, I dont in any way blame her for it. She has devoted 20 years ... (read in full...)
Why would a man stay with a woman who subjects him to emotional/ psychological (mental) abuse?
Q. I have this male friend who is constantly getting mental abuse from his girlfriend for the past couple years they've been together. He has told me he tells his girlfriend how it makes him feel but she continues to do. I've told him to leave he...
A. 3 June 2015: He stays with her because he chooses to and wants to and frankly, you should stay out of their relationship.
No one knows what goes on between two people in a relationship and it is entirely up to THEM and them alone to conduct their relation... (read in full...)
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