A
male
age
41-50,
*ctotslad82
writes:Hello all. I am a 33 year old guy with a 10 year old daughter. Her mother and I split up nine years ago but I have been ever present in my daughters life. I see her as often as I can and I pay my way with every salary. Everything is great but for my love life, well lack of. It got me thinking because today my daughter said "you deserve someone to be nice to you dad, you're great". Anyway, not for the lack of trying, I've found myself single for two years. However, this year I have found three different women I've liked alot but their reasons for not wanting a relationship or to spend more time together have been "Im not looking for a relationship. . . My head just isnt right. . . I'm having too much trouble with my ex" But then all three have since:1.. Found a relationship like two weeks later.. . 2...manages to then go sleeping around 3...same as 1.My thought is it's obviously me who women just dont feel "that way" about. I'm not a bad looking guy, i'm funny and caring and very generous and charming. (so all my friends say. Haha) im fiercely loyal too. So what am I doing wrong? Whats wrong with me?
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male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (18 November 2015):
You haven't given us much to go on here. You'll need some face-to-face with someone - hopefully a therapist - to tell you what you did wrong. If you met these women in bars, the answer might be "nothing."
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2015): I agree with two previous answers. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places and going for the wrong types.My sister does that all the time and she's 38 and chronically single.What I am about to say will sound harsh and I do not wish to hurt your feelings by any means.Judging from my sister's example, when someone is in position you're in, it may mean that he or she is looking for a specific type of person (be it the looks or the status or age, or something else), which closes any other options! She's literarly blind to people who are not her "type". And her type has nothing to do with being nice, gentle, honest... It's about status and financial security. In the places she looks, these guys go for young, ridiculously good-looking women with successful careers. She herself is a secretary. When she was younger she had less problems finding men for a casual fling, but they ALL sang the same tune - not ready for a realtionship, only to get married to someone else soon after dumping her. Truth was, they were into relationships, just not into her.When I was younger I wasn't sure how to answer her question "What's wrong with me?". Now I know: Think long and hard about yourself and about what you want and can achieve. If there is a big gap between your wishes and capabilities, find a way to bridge it. Work on yourself. Be kinder to yourself. Nourish yourself. Be open-minded, let go of your fears and prejudices.Make no mistake. My sister is no gold-digger. She's just affraid and looks for safety in successful, financially secured men.What are you looking for? What are your fears?Speaking from personal experience, I left a kind, successful, good-looking guy, because our interests were sooooo different and there was no wish on his part to understand mine. When he asked what was wrong and I told him that we were developing in different directions, he didn't accept that as an answer (he thought there had been someone else).So, sometimes even when you do get an answer it is not the one you accept/understand.I too was dumped by a guy who was in love with me, but I wasn't financially secured or well connected as his wife to be was. It hurt. But I understood what he was going for (I'm not saying I approved ;)So, know thyself. Know your qualities and weaknesses. Be open-minded. Don't go for the same type of women that turn you down.Have you thought about volounteering? Maybe you could meet some nice people there (selfless and kind, interessted in other people). You having a kid may be a problem for most young women who do not wish to jump into the step-mum role. I am not saying that they're selfish. They have the right not to want that kidn of "complications" in their lives. From what you wrote, I think that you need not only a women to sare your life with, but someone who would be ready, in the long-run, to co-parent your daughter.Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (16 November 2015):
 I may be wrong here but maybe they don't want to get attached to someone with a grown daughter and be a potential step-mom to an almost teenager. Dealing with children is not everyone's cup of tea.
Maybe you're just looking at the wrong places. Ask your family / friends to set you up with people. I'm sure you'll meet the right woman soon.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 November 2015):
 I don't think there is ANYTHING "wrong" with you. Well, maybe... maybe it's the "type" you are going for that just doesn't work for you?
I really don't understand why people (not just women) even GO on dating sites etc. if they are NOT ready to date seriously. There are PLENTY of hook-up sites if THAT is what they are looking for.
So that might be "issue" number 2. Where do you FIND these ladies? All in the same place?
I think it's OK for people to NOT want to date seriously, AS LONG as they are upfront about it. And if a woman tells you... I'm not looking for anything serious... then you KNOW to skip her and move to the next.
Have you talked to your friends? Maybe they can help you meet some people as well.
You are obviously a catch - but if you throw your line in the "wrong" puddle... you will end up with nothing you want to take home.
Try something. If what you are doing now IS NOT working, mix it up.
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