A
female
age
30-35,
*osmiclove
writes:Hi,I just wanted to write here as I can't seem to shake off these terrible feelings I'm experiencing. I'm 24 years old and lately for two months. It was the first time in about 3 years where I'd felt a bond with someone and that I could trust him.At the beginning he scared me because he made it clear to me that he wanted a relationship. I'm not usually used of things moving that fast. But he seemed so sincere. He drew portraits of me and had plans of me meeting his family. Told me I was different to any girl he'd ever met. So I decided to let my guard down and I slept with him last week. After the deed was done he left me in the room alone for hours to help some guy fix his car. He didn't speak to me for a few days after and when I asked him what was wrong (jusyjust once) he told me I was being needy. He text me again just this morning to tell me that he's in love with someone else and it was nice knowing me but that as soon as he'd slept with me he'd realised it was a mistake. I replied and told him I never wanted to see him or talkspeak to him again after him leading mme on. Not sure whether I over reacted or not. I know it might seem like I'm being over dramatic but I can't seem to shake off these emotions..hurt, anger, emptiness etc. And I need to focused now more than ever because my masters dissertation is due in 3 weeks and I'm already behind. I'm panicing a little :(Does anyone have any advice as to how to overcome these emotions and get back on track? It could really help me.Thanks.
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female
reader, cosmiclove +, writes (2 September 2015):
cosmiclove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all of you. It's still sickening but the initial devastation is finally started to wear off. We live and we learn! Your thoughtful words have helped me to realise that so thank you. Hugs x
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (2 September 2015):
 You got played.
Yes it's going to hurt OP and there is literally nothing that anyone can tell you to make you feel any better. But you know what, what's done is done; just chalk it up as a terrible experience, surround yourself with family and friends and try and move on. I know its easier said than done but look at your Masters dissertation as a blessing in disguise. You have the opportunity to immerse yourself in work and forget about whatever happened and you should do just that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2015): You got played. Players know how to romance a woman into sex. Women know how to seduce men in order to manipulate.
Many ladies get played, because jive-players know the word you want to hear more than any other word. "Love!" It gets women into bed faster than anything.
Now you know that a guy has to demonstrate it with their actions; and it takes time to reach the point he really means it. If you have sex, that doesn't necessarily mean he places the same meaning behind it as you do. For most guys sex is a physical act, and feelings may follow. For most women, sex and feelings should co-exist. In reality, as human nature goes. Rarely do they co-exist regardless of whether you're male or female. It takes time for trust and feelings to grow enough to really seal the deal.
Don't beat yourself up. He's one guy.
He's not representative of all men; nor a sign that's all you can expect from men. He was a mistake. Mistakes happen. You can't always avoid them, but you can do your best not to repeat them.
Don't allow this to embitter you. It just wasn't what you thought.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (1 September 2015):
 You made a mistake and fell for a dude who sounded sincere but wasn't. IT HAPPENS.
He wouldn't be the first guy to "declare" undying love in order to get a girl in bed.
ACCEPT that you got conned. He didn't care as deeply as he pretended.
NEXT time... let him keep some of those "promises" before sex. Like met his friends, family etc. Things that means something to you.
He isn't in LOVE with someone new, he has just moved on to the next "target".
I think telling him to Go Frig himself and never to contact you again was fine. Not really overreacting. I think you may have been a little naive with him. A little too trusting maybe? Not really a bad thing, but it CAN get you hurt.
It's OK to be mad, but don't waste time and energy on this guy.
I think you are more mad at yourself than him? For not knowing he was a player and not a keeper. Again, don't beat yourself up. Guys like him are a dime a dozen.
Let it go. You got played.
Focus on school.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2015): Hurt & anger can reside longer than we want sometimes! I was dumped by a bloke in favour of a female friend of mind - so I had double the betrayal to cope with & it took a while to get over!!
Like you say - you let your guard down & once he got you in the sack he moved on to his next conquest!!
I can't say why he would be keen to want a relationship with you & then dump you - maybe just to trick you into bed. But surely if he just wanted a one night stand there would be other women out there for that!!
Sometimes guys are hard to figure out & this one doesn't seem genuine at all!
I would put it down to being a bad experience & learn not to be fooled again until you actually are in a loving relationship...
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