A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I really need some help. I'm 16 and I recently made a terrible mistake. I needed help with a college project so asked a guy I knew (my dads friends son) to help as he had already done a similar thing. He's 18 and has a girlfriend of 14 months. We ended up sleeping together but neither of us instigated it we both just did it. His girlfriend is very religious and believes in no sex till marriage and he has always supported her. Was he just sexually frustrated and I was just there? I really need help I feel so wrong and mad with myself
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 September 2015):
 Well, yes and not. I mean, basically yes, he was horny ad you where there and non verbal signals have gone back and forth and then ... stuff happens. But of course he must have thought you attractive, probably personable too, to send or receive these signals. Probably it would not have ended up this way with just ANY girl whatsoever.
If you are asking if, or were under the illusion that, he had some special feelings or some special attraction to you- well, erm, no, I don't think so. This guy has a girlfriend already, and obviously he likes her enough to keep dating her even without getting sex ( but alas not enough to not cheat on her the first chance he got )
Do you feel mad at yourself ? That's a good thing- it will prevent you from making the same mistake again. Next time that you are around some attractive , available guy who has a gf, you may feel tempted.... but you will remember how foolish and let down you felt this time, and you won't let things " just happen " again.
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (17 September 2015):
 Hi,this guy is a non-trustworthy person, who did the wrong thing morally, behind his Christian gfs back, period.I suspect he was just itching to have sex with a woman and as you were there, he decided that he'd have sex with you.I don't mean to sound nasty, nor rude, but it sounds as though he was very eager to have sex with any woman and i say this because, if he had an ounce of true respect for his gf, then regardless of his age, he'd never have betrayed her.'Trust' is the single, biggest factor, in any successful, long term union.Without trust, you really have nothing and most young people, with little relational experience, won't appreciate the true importance/significance of trust, as it really becomes much more heightened and appreciated, as we age, grow older and mature mentally.Then again, young men do take more time to mature, so he may be doing what comes naturally. He is satisfying his regular and intense sexual urges, which are natural, normal and common, when you're male and of his age group.If you knew that he was involved with another girl, you would have been better off, not having slept with him.He betrayed his gf, but if you too knew and still slept with him, then you too, betrayed her, by choosing to sleep with her bf.It takes two to tango remember and you are both old enough, to know what you're doing.You didn't say no, so he simply took your openess, receptiveness, connection and possible body language, for a yes, although you may not have uttered the actual words, 'yes'.There is nothing you can now do, but learn from this experience and grow from it.You now have the skillset, to make better informed decisions, the next time you should encounter a similar situation.All the best! :-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2015): Its an arrangement really:help with homework in return for sex.As you are both hapless victims of your own humanity and didnt plan it ,i suggest you seek no further help with homework as there is more going on.You gazzumped the girl!You bedded him or whatever while she was holding out.It would bedecent of him now to break off with his ex and to carry on with you without guilt.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (17 September 2015):
 He cheated on his girlfriend. Whether or not he did it because he was frustrated or because she refused to have sex because of her personal beliefs, the fact of the mater is that he cheated on her. Also, how do you even know that whatever he's told you about his girlfriend is true? He may have just said that to get into your pants and I also bet that you're not the first or only girl that he's done this with.
Forget him however; since you're asking the question, let me ask you instead. Why did you do it knowing that he has a girlfriend? If you do regret it then chalk it up as a lesson learned the hard way and dont sleep around with people who are already taken. The guilt that you feel later is not worth it in any way.
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