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Every day I feel stressed and depressed because of my life, husband, parents. What do I do?

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm a married woman with 3 kids and I'm under tremendous stress and I need help.

First off a few months ago my husband confessed to cheating which totally destroyed me and our relationship. We have been trying to work it out for the sake of our kids but it's been very hard. I find money gone from our emergency savings and I think he's spending money on another woman. My trust is completely gone and I know I couldn't raise my 3 kids alone.

My oldest son who's 7 is having a very hard time in school and with his learning. We think he may have a learning disability. He also acts out in class and I get phone calls from the school weekly. My child works with the teacher aids, his counsellors, his tutor, and I also work with him closely at home with his school work. Unfortunately he has not been improving and it's very disheartening.

Both of my parents are drug addicts and I'm constantly worried sick about them as they make horrible decisions. They harass me for money and consistently try to make me feel bad for them and tell me I'm a bad daughter for not taking care of them. What am I suppose to do let them move in and be a danger to my children? I don't think so.

I feel very alone. I'm an only child with an unfaithful husband, my parents are crazy, and I feel very selfish for wanting to escape everything. I don't have the money to just up and leave with my kids, I have nowhere to go. I don't deserve this stress. I wake up stressed and depressed and go to bed stressed and depressed.

I need help. What do I do?

View related questions: depressed, married woman, money

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2015):

First off kick cheater to the curb.Get tested for stds.Get a good lawyer and take his sorry butt to the cleaners. Second thing get your son tested by the eap in your school district.It is free and in the good old usa once you request this they must by federal law do this at no cost to you.I had this done for my son when he was small and the problem was his hearing.They test for everything from the physical to learning disabiltys.Once you know what is wrong you will know what to do to help your son.And at no cost to you they have to teach him even if the school has to get him his own aide at no cost to you.Use this law it is a good one. Third...get yourself into consuling so you can become stronger and deal with all this.They might even help you get your son tested.I had to really fight for that but let me tell you I burned my aldermans and congress mans phone up daily to get this done just do not give up.Forth move away and do not let your druggie parents even know your phone number and where you live.Do not feel bad about this because in doing this you are protecting your kids.Get restraing orders against them if you have to.You and your kids come first time to put on your big girl pants now and do what is best and in your heart you know I am right.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2015):

I'm sorry to hear about your situation . You mention that you can't raise your children alone but your husband and parents sound like nothing but additional stress . I was a single mother with three children and although it's not easy , it was a hell of a lot easier than being with a cheater and letting my self esteem get lower by the day

It sounds like you could do with some outside help . Perhaps a refuge or government program to help you manage day to day life till you can see a way out of this

Things WILL get better , you CAN do this but it's entirely up

To you to seek help and realise that the toxic relationships in your life arnt helping

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (1 September 2015):

Anonymous 123 agony auntDo you have a job? Are you financially secure?

Listen to me OP, you CAN raise 3 kids alone. There is nothing that you cant do in this world and don't you for one second feel that you're helpless. Yes it's a terrible situation but you know what, you can get out of it.

For starters kick your husband to the curb and get him to pay you alimony and be financially responsible for the children. That'll teach him. If you're not working then get a job immediately. If you ARE working, then you already have a head start. By staying in this broken marriage, you are doing more harm than good for your children. Your son is already suffering because your poor frame of mind is taking a toll on him. Do you think kids don't realize this? Of course they do!

Get out of this horrible mess and create a new world where there's just you and your children. Believe me, you can do it if you want to. Do you have support from friends? Siblings? Absolutely anyone reliable that you can turn to?

Cut yourself off completely from your parents. Don't take their calls, don't meet them, behave like they just don't exist. You have enough drama in your life already without asking for more.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (1 September 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou've got a cheatin' hubby... and druggie parents.... Not much of an encouraging picture. I suggest you extricate yourself from these sorry excuses for "adults".... and figure out how to live by - and raise your kids by - yourself. Those others aren't up to the challenge....

P.S. Don't worry about your kids. They'll rise to the occasion and circumstances.... You'll end up being very proud of them and their accomplishments....

Good luck....

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