A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a guy friend in medical school. who is questionably/obviously gay and seemingly closer to possibly coming out. He was claiming to be straight at the beginning of the year, but when people have asked questions on his opinion about girls he has stopped answering now. Since the New Year, we have been spending more time together and he's been doing nice things for me continuously. Such as cleaning up all the dishes in my apartment after a potluck, biking me home when I don't have my bike light, etc... all of this without me asking). This past Friday we went to a party with friends and I ended up really drunk. While on the couch I passed out on him, essentially hugging him and with my hands on his tummy rubbing it. This was at around 1:30 a.m. The other people in the room said they left at around 2 a.m. (he was still awake), and I ended up waking up at around 3:30. I was still rubbing his stomach and I could feel my head was tucked into the crook of his neck and we were semi-spooning. When I got up, he popped up too, we discussed how it was a crazy night, he walked me home, we shared an extended hug and I told him, "see you tomorrow" (we were planning on dinner and a movie the next day).The next day while we were on the way to this movie, when others would ask about the night, I would just say it was a crazy night and talk in generalities to save both of our faces. Some of the people who were with us last night said in the room we were really cozy and that he didn't flinch at all. After the movie, I had to drop him off last and we both literally were shooting the breeze.I'm confused as to whether I should talk to him about it, or just continue with business as usual? Or wait until we both have alcohol in our system again, and see if we have any more moments (granted this past Friday was particularly opportunistic based on the group of friends who went out). I really like him and some friends claim that he seems to also have feelings for me, though since he's never been out, he may be afraid to express them. I'm NOT in the business of outing people, but I don't think I can let this go either. I feel like the fact he stayed back with me to cuddle in our friend's room after everyone else left is a good sign that he may be showing me some affection back (though I did fall asleep on him)I don't want to put it out there and give him the chance to say it was nothing and he was just being a nice guy. We are classmates in medical school and see each other all the time so I want this to be done in a way that is good for everyone. Do you think we have enough history for me to have a conversation about this? How best should I proceed?Thanks :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry if I wasn't clear before. I am gay, so I really do want us to have more of these moments in the future because I DO swing that way.
A
male
reader, faenon  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Don't ask unless his comfortable coming out with you about his sexuality when/if he does confess he is that way just lay the line down your comfortable with him as a friend but your straight and you'd appreciate it if he doesn't try it on with you.
He probably was trying to come out to you that night but again he could've been being just a top friend and looking out for his drunk buddy plenty a time we've all been there while on the uisce beartha with brothers and walked drunkardly home helping each other stay upright and profess i love you man but it doesn't mean we swing that way nothing wrong with brotherly love. All you can do is be upfront with him if he decides to come out and let him know your a friend but at same time don't be trying anything funny on you.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (2 February 2011):
 The only way you'll be able to find out is by talking to him about it. Most straight guys wouldn't act this way towards a male friend, I think he's just confused about his orientation and shy about acting on it. Tell him how you're feeling, it'll help him to open up because you'll be putting yourself out there first.
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