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... Send *weet-thing a private message | | | *weet-thing's profile:I'm a 38-year old artist who is a bit of a hopeless romantic. I've had a few long-term relationships, been married, separated, currently going through a divorce but have a wealth of friends and family around me to keep me centered and happy. When I fall in love, I don't play games. I like it all out there in the open and have always respected men that were honest with me.
I hope that my experiences will help others who are going through similar things.
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What can I do about his attitude toward my friends who are male?
Q. HI, i have a boyfriend that has a BIG problem with me havin home boys.... AND HEs always bring up a time where i went out with one of them.... WHEN WE were brokin up at the time i mind you... AND he hates that i had just friends when i lived with ...
A. 9 August 2009: Well there's two things going on here. 1. Your boyfriend is a bit insecure. 2. It almost never works out for us to have opposite sex friends when we become involved with someone romantically. It will always be a problem, I don't care how you slice ... (read in full...)
A foursome led to me getting attached to another man, can you love two people at the same time?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 2 years. We ended up having a four-some with his friend of 19yrs and his wife. Since then me and the friend have had a connection like non other. I love my husband very much and will pick him over anyone but i ...
A. 9 August 2009: I think everyone is capable of entangling themselves into the kinds of webs and messes that mixes up their hearts and forces them to live a life of deception, calling it love. In a woman's mind it is very hard to seperate the meaning of love and ... (read in full...)
How do I win back the trust of my former mistress? Will she take me back?
Q. I'm 40 years old and will be married for 12 years this month. Last year, I had an affair with my Exec Assistant, who is 8 years older than me and a truly sophisticated lady. It started as friendship, but then I lied to her and told her my marriage ...
A. 9 August 2009: You didn't mention if you've gotten divorced (or maybe I missed that part). If not, you should do so before pursuing the other woman, because she'll just think you're scared to be alone if you're still married no matter what you tell her she'll ... (read in full...)
My cop boyfriend is obsessed with me! How do I get out of this relationship?
Q. Complicated... I am in a relationship with a veteran police officer. This relationship sucks. We started off while he was married, (yes it was wrong) and he left her to be w/me. Problem is ..to me..he's obssessed. I am not sexually interest...
A. 9 August 2009: I'm thinking your best bet would be to start stashing some money away and when you have enough, pack up your things when he's at work, get on a bus, a plane or a train and move as far away as you possibly can. But carefully think out your plan ... (read in full...)
I want to leave my husband after 20 years of marriage but I have nothing! Any advice?
Q. me and my husband have been together for nearly 20 years and have 4 children. we have our own busissines, he works and i don't anymore as two of my children have learning difficulties. I feel as though i have given up my life for everyone else and ...
A. 9 August 2009: Surely your husband's behavior is not a sudden development. I think he's always been a bit of a cad, and you allowed it because you focused your attention on raising your 4 kids, which no doubt took more time and energy. Meanwhile he's allowed to ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is dying and I am trying to save it! What else can I do?
Q. yesterday was year number 4 with my partner (not married) I got divorced while starting a relationship with him and i admit it was the worst possible thing i could have done. i dont think i did the right thing , but ok we did continue and its been 4 ...
A. 9 August 2009: Surely he gets a day off or two?..If so, take the little one to a friend or relatives that day and make him a nice breakfast, or a nice dinner. Tell him when he wakes up that you want the day to be just the two of you, whatever you want to do. You ... (read in full...)
Should I take Antidepressants?
Q. I believe myself to be a strong person and can deal with alot but i think it is this very mentality that has proved to be my downfall! The last few years i have coped with a lot from my grandmother's death to a miscarrige i told nobody about and...
A. 21 July 2009: If you have reservations, listen to them. I have mixed feelings about the whole anti-depressant thing. On the one hand, if you're contemplating things like suicide, or harming another person you should probably be on them. On the other hand I ... (read in full...)
I'm no longer interested in sex and I'm scared it will ruin our relationship.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 8 months and we've been living together for almost 2 months. I love him very much, and we get along great. I really believe that he might even be the one I spend the rest of my life with... except for one ...
A. 21 July 2009: What kind of sexual chemistry have you had with your b/f in this relationship? I have a theory, women tend to settle down with men who feel "safe". They are trustworthy, nice, thoughtful, predictable. The next thing you know, your sex drive does ... (read in full...)
Why does he choose to make nasty comments about me after all this time?
Q. I split with my ex fiance 6 years ago Recently found out through mutual friends that he got married. I don't see or speak to him. They've also told me that lately he's made the odd nasty remark about me. We had a nasty split and I never saw hi...
A. 20 July 2009: Well I don't know what caused the break up, but I'd be willing to bet it had something to do with the same part of his personality that made that nasty comment about you behind your back. He knows he's partially to blame for the break up and he ... (read in full...)
Some people send their numbers... she sends her nipples!!!
Q. 9 months before i was married, out of the blue my girlfiend sent a photo of her nipple to my phone, with a message that said are you ready to see the real thing? the message looked very much like a reply. I asked her what does this mean, and got ...
A. 20 July 2009: Sounds like your wife is living a double life. And P.S. you should talk to your Mother about it otherwise she'll only hear your wife's side of the story and women tend to stick together. It may be embarrassing but you need to have your own family ... (read in full...)
There's been no honeymoon period... am I being a drama queen, am I wasting my time or should I give him some time?
Q. Im dating a guy who has a ten year old daughter that he has sole custody for. The ex has only come back recently and takes the daughter every fortnight. Ive a couple of issues Im trying to get my head round at the minute. Firstly, I brought up the ...
A. 20 July 2009: Could be his drinking led to his divorce. It seems to be an escape. I think he's just not that into you and I also think you have higher standards than this guy does, which may be another reason he's divorced. I too made the mistake of involving ... (read in full...)
If a guy loses erection during sex, is it the woman's fault?
Q. Guys and ladies please I need your pespective! My ex bragged that it was my fault he lost his erections while we had sex. Lets keep in mind that all this time he teased me by saying that I am a saint to others and a horny bit*ch in bed. Guys, can a ...
A. 3 July 2009: Usually when a guy loses his erection he's over-thinking the process of sex; worrying about how he'll perform, will he be big enough? Will he last long enough? Are you comparing him to other men you've been with, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes when a ... (read in full...)
Advice please... Should I try to make things work with my husband or get out now?
Q. I have been married a little over a year and things have been pretty rocky for the last 6 months. We lived a little town which totally sucked and we moved back to my home town and I thought it was the town that was dragging me down. I do not feel I ...
A. 3 July 2009: Affairs are never the answer. Try counseling first, then you'll know what can be salvaged.... (read in full...)
Broken...
Q. Hello, I've been in a relationship for 6 years with this woman who is now 31. She was a single mom of 3 kids with three different fathers, a high school drop out. I became daddy #4 four years ago. In our house there is a total of 6 different ...
A. 3 July 2009: OMG! You have to get away from this woman and don't look back! You will never change this woman, she has serious personality issues and is only going to continue to make you miserable. I once had a dear friend who was involved with a woman who ... (read in full...)
I've had 4 sexual partners, is that a lot for a woman my age?
Q. I'm 23 and have had 4 sexual partners. Is that a lot for a woman my age? My last ex told me during our break up that guys will think I'm really slutty now that I've been with 4 different men, but he might've been trying to make me feel bad. ...
A. 3 July 2009: No it's not alot, but when in doubt, don't disclose your past experiences. Some men freak out if you've had more than one. Some things are best left unsaid. ... (read in full...)
Did he truly love me? Should I contact him to ask?
Q. Should I or shouldn't I? Sometimes, i think of my ex and I wonder if he thinks of me too. rarely are the times I think of him positively being that he made me go through so mamy emotional hardships. Times I thought he loved me and other times I ...
A. 3 July 2009: No, don't contact him to ask this question. You won't get a straight answer and you will give him the opportunity to play more head games with him. I do not think he loved you. Which is probably why he is now your "ex" and should stay there. Let ... (read in full...)
He's moved to be with me, and he says he loves me but that things just aren't "right"
Q. I met my boyfriend in a weird way. Our "at the times" cheated with each other. Him and I ended up bonding over broken hearts. He is my best friend and has always been there for me. He makes me smile and my every day. The only issue is, I lived in ...
A. 3 July 2009: They say we train people how to treat us. Your b/f is young enough to develop good habits where women are concerned so start him in right now. Some men are naturally touchy-feely, some are not, but can be taught. He's not old enough to have alot ... (read in full...)
He says he "can't" love or care about me because of his past. How do I stop caring about this man?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 9 months we have never been out on a date we just have sex, he tells all about his past relationships, I love him and don't want to love him because I don't believe he loves me because he has never said it neither does ...
A. 3 July 2009: He probably sees you only as a friend. Perhaps you are just not his type so he made up that weird excuse. Distance yourself otherwise you'll end up being hurt. I once got involved with a man, assuming he'd eventually feel the same for me. He ... (read in full...)
Ghosts of past relationships are eroding our trust
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for over the past year. I love him unconditionally and the moment we started dating, I have been nothing but faithful. Before I started dating him, I had a past - as all relationships do. I had had sex with one...
A. 24 June 2009: This is so double-standard, but unfortunately if you want to keep the peace you should sever the ties you have with your former boyfriends/lovers etc. I say it's a double-standard because most men (most, mind you) do not give us the same courtesy. ... (read in full...)
Dilemma over morals.
Q. Me and my boyfriend are both musicians. Recently, I applied for a position at a church along with him and was hired.. When I looked on my title, It said music minister. My boyfriend and I live together and the Church from what I gather thinks we are ...
A. 24 June 2009: I think the bigger question is why won't you marry the guy? That would solve the dilema for both of you. If you've been together this long, and love him I don't see what the problem is. ... (read in full...)
I need your help with regards to my husband and his work female friend
Q. i am married for over 6 years now and have 1 child. its been 2 years now that one day i have checked his mobile out of curiousity and seen a msg sent by him to her saying 'ok.kisses everywhere'. i have discussed this with him and claimed that it was ...
A. 24 June 2009: Your husband is having at least, an emotional affair with this other woman. Because he's not sleeping with her, he thinks it's all harmless fun. It's not. And it will eventually lead to more. Plus he's confiding things to someone other than you, ... (read in full...)
He masturbates to my cousin's naked pics! I'm so angry about this..am I over reacting?
Q. I have a 20 year old cousin who works as a model. Recently I found my husband keeps naked pictures of her in his sock drawer. We see her at family gatherings and I'm scared he will want to have an affair with her. She flirts a lot with him but ...
A. 24 June 2009: No you're not over-reacting. You feel betrayed. Many of us would. I know it feels as though you've been replaced as his number #1 sexual fantasy. Plus you both know this woman, how awkward is that? I think you should keep an eye on the situation ... (read in full...)
My wife of 20 years wants a threesome...I may want a divorce!
Q. Let me start by saying my wife and I have been married for twenty years. she would like to have a threesome or swap with a couple. When she told me this i was shocked and hurt. i would like someone to help me understand this. She is forty im forty ...
A. 11 June 2009: No it is not the next logical step in my opinion. If you were both into "swinging" it might be but it doesn't sound like you're both on board and that signals a very bad idea. You haven't really said if she wants to add another female to your ... (read in full...)
My life story, what the hell should I do?
Q. Hi I need help on what I should do; this is sorta driving me nuts. Story goes like this- in 2005 I met a girl who I really liked, after a while we were dating and in love. Everything was great. At the time I was inexperienced in relatio...
A. 29 April 2009: I agree with Steve S. She probably hasn't changed a bit so please don't sign up to be her next victim. Nice guys always think they can "fix" the messed up chicks but it never works out that way. You just end up being abused and abandoned again ... (read in full...)
Why won't this serial cheater marry me?
Q. hello...im trying to figure out why is it that my boyfriend of 15yrs (he's 40 and im 39) first off will not marry me and make a formal commitment and second of all will not leave this other woman alone? i've forgiven him for having a baby on...
A. 29 April 2009: Why would you want to marry a man you know is cheating on you, not once more many times? You deserve so much better. He will never marry you and even if he did, I don't think he's capable of being faithful. He may be a sex addict. Please find ... (read in full...)
How compatible are we, judging by the signs?
Q. I am a female pisces/aries cusp (34 years old) ,dating a male virgo/libra cusp (28 years old). How compatible are we? Because both our signs are on a cusp there is alot of conflicting information. I would appreciate any insight....
A. 29 April 2009: I wouldn't really base it on the zodiac signs you both have. There may be a few personality traits in your zodiac sign that may apply to each of you but the bigger factor is more than that. It's life experiences, family lifestyles, values, ... (read in full...)
How can I gain more energy to become more fun?
Q. I've always been the sort of person who keeps themselves to themselves, but it's really starting to effect me. I never have any energy to make the effort with people because I'm in a sort of fixed routine, and it's not because I'm lazy it's because ...
A. 29 April 2009: One more thing -- if you have sleep apnea it does make you very tired during the day. Your doctor can tell you more about that. But basically some people stop breathing during the night, when they're sleeping. Obviously you start breathing again ... (read in full...)
How can I gain more energy to become more fun?
Q. I've always been the sort of person who keeps themselves to themselves, but it's really starting to effect me. I never have any energy to make the effort with people because I'm in a sort of fixed routine, and it's not because I'm lazy it's because ...
A. 29 April 2009: I think you should have your Mom schedule an appointment with your family doctor and have them run some blood tests on you to make sure something is not going on with you. I have no idea what your overall health is like, do you eat properly? Do ... (read in full...)
Is he Cheating and how do I confront him?
Q. I am with a man with whom I have been living for three years, recently I have been noticing signs of cheating.About two months ago we were home one night naked when someone knocked at the door. After he recognised the person he went outside for ...
A. 29 April 2009: Start by finding the ideal time to approach him, when he's in a good mood, or feeling relaxed. Then you might simply say, "I have this weird feeling that there are some things you haven't told me..."
A woman's intuition is rarely challeng... (read in full...)
I need help on being a better girlfriend and not so jealous.
Q. Okay so, I have been dating this guy on and off for almost 3 years. He says he loves me but I'm so jealous because he used to cheat on me so much. He has changed so much and he treats me so much better. I need help on being a better gf and not so ...
A. 29 April 2009: You are responding to the things your b/f did that violated your trust. He did this not you. Some women are pretty laid back about their jealousies. I suspect those women have never had bad experiences with men. Others have experienced a loss of ... (read in full...)
I just found out about my boyfriend's threesome! I'm shocked!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months now and we are very much in love. we have our ups and downs like most relationships but we have gotten through bad moments and are enjoying time together. we've recently been away and had the most amazing ...
A. 29 April 2009: Well try not to let it wreck your feelings for him. I've been with my man for 5 years and I am still learning little things about his past experiences. I can't say that I haven't experienced similar shock but I some things are hard to disclose ... (read in full...)
My wife of 20 years wants a threesome...I may want a divorce!
Q. Let me start by saying my wife and I have been married for twenty years. she would like to have a threesome or swap with a couple. When she told me this i was shocked and hurt. i would like someone to help me understand this. She is forty im forty ...
A. 29 April 2009: Wow! I've heard of spicing up your sex life but I don't think I'd ever go this far!!! I am very suspicious about your wife's motives here. Could she possibly be already attracted to the man that is part of this couple she wants you to swap with? ... (read in full...)
How do you ask a guy where your relationship stands?
Q. How do you ask a guy where your relationship stands after 2 years?...
A. 29 April 2009: I think the best approach is to just bring it up, but timing is essential. Don't ask the big relationship question when he's stressed out about other things, or just coming home after a long day. With my b/f the best time to talk to him about ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for believing that we can spend the rest of our lives together?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now and we haven't fought at all and we're always happy when we're together and we see each other every weekend. Since about 2 months into dating, He's always talking about us being together for the ...
A. 28 April 2009: Wrong? No. Naive, Yes. You are not too young to know what love is, and to feel love for this guy. But if I would've settled down with the guy I loved when I was 15, I would've been very disappointed at 35. Don't rush this step. Go off and live ... (read in full...)
Abusive partner, what should I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship with this man for 12 yrs. and it's been off and on. He's been cheating, lying and he's even gotten the women he cheats with pregnant, he doesn't respect me, doesn't appreciates me, and when me and him get into an ...
A. 28 April 2009: How are dependent on this man?...Financially?....or Emotionally?....If it's financially then find a job, start setting aside some money secretly and when you have a nice little nestegg you should pack your things when he's gone and move the hell ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend posts pictures from your joint vacation and leaves you OUT of the pictures?
Q. Ok, I'm embarrassed to even have to write this -- because it sounds so juvenille, and I am 31 years old, but I want a sounding board, so please respond honestly. I just got back from a week in Italy with my boyfriend of 2 and 1/2 years. He was se...
A. 28 April 2009: He clearly wanted to appear "single" to the website where he posted those photos. I don't know why he's keeping his options open, while pretending to be involved with you,but that is what he appears to be doing. Since he mentioned your past ... (read in full...)
Every time I meet with him it's magic... but then he blocks me and deletes my emails... why is this?
Q. We met last week after not seeing each other for 1 1/2 years. We met on line 3 years ago. It took us 3 months to meet for the first time. After that we chatted on line all the time, not getting together again for another 6 months and then 10 ...
A. 28 April 2009: Could he possibly be married or involved with someone else? Leave no trail. That's what an unfaithful person would do......... (read in full...)
Do I meet him... or do I say no and stay with my husband?
Q. I am married and have 2 kids. I have been with my husband for 5 years and married for 3. We have been haveing a lot of arguments and even got close to being physical with each other. So in all this i started chatting to other people. There was this ...
A. 28 April 2009: Having an affair is never the answer. Even if your spouse never finds out you will be torn between the man you have a committment with, and the one you can't stop thinking about. If you leave your husband to be with this man, you may later discover ... (read in full...)
Brewer's droop!
Q. bit of an embarrassing issue but need some advice. Met a girl, went to have sex with her after I had been drinking and I couldnt get an erection. I was so embarrassed. We said that we'd have another go in the morning but I couldnt really s...
A. 28 April 2009: Two things you need to realize about your equipment.
1. Alchohol affects how it performs (or doesn't)
2. The more you worry and obsess, the more it goes into hiding.
RELAX. Think erotic thoughts when you want to be with someone and keep the neg... (read in full...)
When I want to discuss my feelings my g/f is the rudest person on the earth!
Q. Hello guys. I have been using this site alot lately, thanks everyone for answering my questions. Ive got one more though. My girlfriend met a guy on facebook, and she is arranging to see him in real life. She claims they are; 'Just friends...
A. 28 April 2009: Yeah, I think it's time to dump her and find a nicer girl. You deserve better.... (read in full...)
I don't want my fiance to have a stripper!
Q. I'm engaged to my partner (we have been together several years), and he said the only reason he won't be having a stripper on his stag night is because i'm really paranoid (I have a mental illness). So, I said that I thought he was doing it to ...
A. 28 April 2009: I see this to be a much bigger problem. What your b/f is telling you is he can do something and you cannot. That is unfair. He's saying he would dump you if you had a male stripper but he thinks it's perfectly ok to have a female stripper. I ... (read in full...)
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