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... Send *meedle a private message | | | *meedle's profile:51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.
I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.
I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help. |
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Wonder if I'm just a convenient meal ticket for my girlfriend and her cat!
Q. I have been living with a girl for 2 1/2 years. She moved in with me after her father died. I have a 21yr old daughter in college and a 15 yr old son. My girlfriend has been remarkable to my kids and we had a great relationship until recently. 3 ...
A. 11 February 2006: Hi diverdan, I was not going to reply to anyone today due to late night and hangover but I just want to say that your reply goes to show there are two sides to everything.
Reding what you have wrote this time makes me think that you are stre... (read in full...)
I've been with my guy for two years but he still acts like he's single!
Q. hi, have been with my b/f for 2 years now but sometimes i just dont think he takes our relationship seriously. i get the impression that sometimes my b/f thinks that he is single and goes around acting like he is single, for example their has been ...
A. 9 February 2006: Thanks for the up-date and I still think he is a dirty bugger only now I think he is a selfish, un carring and totaly sexually orientated dirty bugger.
Still leave him, You are not alone feeling like you do, it is not unusual to hate someone ... (read in full...)
What does she really want from me??
Q. Dear cupid, What kind of relationship is this? Ok people we've probably remmeber that i broke up with my ex 4 weeks ago, an last friday we realized we both still had feelings for each other. This evolved into this: she sed she wants 2 be ...
A. 9 February 2006: Bin her Barnzy, she just aint worth the hasstle!!... (read in full...)
I would like to ask her out...or should I send her a valentines CArd?
Q. i am in a qaundry about what to do about a woman I am interested in where I go to the gym twice a week. I have been talkng to her about 6 times over a period of 2 months or so, and I can't work out whether or not she is available. I don't want to ...
A. 9 February 2006: Do not send the valentine to her work, how embarrasing this would be for her, especially if she is married or her bloke works with her.
You seem to feel there is an urgency to ask her out, why ?
My advice would be to engage her in conversa... (read in full...)
How do you know when you have met the right person ?
Q. How do you know when you have met the right person ?...
A. 9 February 2006: Loads of reasons, they make you feel good and you hate being away from them, you respect them, you listen to then and them to you, you laught together and cry together.
You feel that if they were to die then you would want to as well as you can not ... (read in full...)
Wonder if I'm just a convenient meal ticket for my girlfriend and her cat!
Q. I have been living with a girl for 2 1/2 years. She moved in with me after her father died. I have a 21yr old daughter in college and a 15 yr old son. My girlfriend has been remarkable to my kids and we had a great relationship until recently. 3 ...
A. 9 February 2006: You really need to have a word with yourself, you are comming across as selfish and petty, she moved in with you because you presumably asked her to, she had suffered the loss of her father and still took time to develope a good relationship with ... (read in full...)
What do I do about his explicit pictures of him and his ex-boyfriend?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and things are wonderful. I knew before we started dating that he had had boyfriends before. He still keeps explicit pictures of him with his ex boyfriend and it bothers me. I found them one day and ...
A. 9 February 2006: Tell him they annoy and upset you and you want him to bin them, see what his reaction to this is, did you "find" them because you were looking and if you were is it because deep down you dont trust him, are you quite sure you are fine about his ex ... (read in full...)
He stares at me like a challenge, says things to get under my skin. What's that about?
Q. Alright, I need to get to the bottom of this guy. Im 22, he's 25. He's a friend of my friend, and we hang out on occasion. I know when a guy likes me normally, but for the life of me, I cannot figure this one out. I know guys do that thing where ...
A. 9 February 2006: Hi, well what I was going to say has been said by eddie, good advice and straight to the point!!
I will just add that if it was me I would be a little bothered that when he is alone with you he talks nicely this means maybe that when people a... (read in full...)
How do I get the first man back that I met?
Q. I starting seeing man 1 a few months ago and did not think that he was very interested in me. So I met some one else and started seeing man 2 aswell. I started falling for man 1 in a big way and got caught out. Man 2 wants to forgive me but man 1 ...
A. 9 February 2006: You have to walk away from both men, you have caused pain to both and to yourself and as the damage is done it is better for all concerned if you just finish it with them both and get over it.
we all do stupid things but the consequences can be far ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but this cute guitar playing guy is cracking onto me...
Q. Help! There's this guy in school and i really like him. He's funny and he always makes me laugh,plus he's cute and he's multi-talented. The other day, when we were introduced, we hung out somewhere with some other friends and he was playing the ...
A. 9 February 2006: Best not have sex, you just are not ready for that yet, but he sounds like fun and my bet is that he would make a good boyfriend, you seem to have a conection with him and him with you, just check him out a bit longer to make sure he is not just ... (read in full...)
I want the fairytale husband, wedding and kids... But feel low because I've split with my lesbian lover.
Q. I am a very confused girl. I have just come out of a year long sexual relationship with my best friend who is also a girl. I would never consider myself gay or bi although during the past year have also slept with several men. I ended it with my ...
A. 9 February 2006: You want it all and why not, there is no shame in being bi-sexual, lots of people are, and there is no point in worrying about it, you had a relationship with a woman and now you want one with a man, you feel you men are the future and marriage is ... (read in full...)
His ex won't leave us alone...what can we do?
Q. My other-halfs ex cannot get over the breakup and we dont know what to do! Its more complicated as they have a baby who is now 4months old. They broke up before the baby was born. The ex cannot accept that they are no longer together. After ...
A. 9 February 2006: No you do not just wait for it to stop, she is disturbed and this is wrong for the baby.
Relationships break up, the break up is painful but on the whole we accept this and move on, she is stuck, she cannot accept or move on, if there was not a baby... (read in full...)
My wife stops me from seeing my family and friends. Should I leave her?
Q. I have been married for 5 years now, with my wife who I have known for 6 Years. Throughout this time, we have had more ups and downs than a roller coaster. My wife is constantly stopping me from seeing friends and family. It started out fine but ...
A. 9 February 2006: This woman is not your wife she is your prison gaurd.
This is not good for you or the kids, she is clearly a dictator who is very insacure, she want you all to herself and you must not be shared.
Right well lets work through this,
You are start... (read in full...)
My friend is so smitten with her (female) lecturer that she can't concentrate!
Q. Help My friend is doing another degree course at uni and she fancies the senior lecturer. Trouble is the lecturer is a woman and my friend a married female of 28. She cannot concentrate at times in the lectures and has no account on here so is po...
A. 8 February 2006: Ok well, have you had any feelings for woman before, is it that you have a crush, this could be because this woman is a powerful role model, she has a good job and I bet she is nice looking and very approachable, does she make eye contact with you ... (read in full...)
What can I send my soulmate for Valentine's Day?
Q. I'm in a long distance gay relationship with my soulmate, with whom i'll be getting married to, and love very much, and we want to spend our lives together. I want to get him something special for valentines day, but I'm a little confused as to what ...
A. 8 February 2006: What a lucky bloke your partner is, you are fantastic and the idea of a video is a good one but im not sure if customs would want to view it, maybe you could ring customs and tell them what you are thinking of doing and they will advise if it is ... (read in full...)
"I need my own space" What does this mean?
Q. What does "I need my own space" mean in the language of female!?...
A. 8 February 2006: It means one of two things,
1/ Its over and I have not had the guts to tell you yet or
2/ you are possessive and crowding me and I want some freedom to see mates and go out without you, as well as have a relationship with you.
Does this help!!... (read in full...)
I'm scared of marriage...how do I know if he's the one?
Q. how do I know that i'm ready and if he's definately the one? I ask that but i am pretty sure, well as sure as I can be that my boyfriend is the one, I dream of being with him forever. We live together, renting at the moment and we're looking ...
A. 8 February 2006: Comunicate with him, tell him you love him but find the idea of marriage scarrey and give the reasons, remember this man is not the man who hurt you, this is a different person and with any relationship we take a gamble.
Some pay off some dont but ... (read in full...)
How can I be what he really wants and become something he has always dreamed of?
Q. Need advice from both male and female. I have got back with my boyfriend. I really really love him and want to really make him want me. He says that he does now, but i really want to shock him and become something he has always dreamed of. I want to ...
A. 8 February 2006: Good that you have got back together, bad that you feel you want to please him enough to do things you are not comfortable with, at first I thought an immage change like hair and clothes was enough but it sounds like you want to spice up sex as ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of stretch marks?
Q. Im expecting at the moment, and i have a one year old. So my stomache is coverd in stretch marks and its maing me feel really un sexy for my long term partner. I wanted to know if there is any women that have the same problem or is there anyone that ...
A. 8 February 2006: Hi, well I too have stretch marks, they are a curse but one that some women suffer more that others.
Cocoa butter used throughout the pregnancy is believed to be good, you can spend a fortune on remidies that say they work but im not sure, bett... (read in full...)
I read her message and now I feel like I can't trust her as much as before...
Q. I was writting a message on my girlfriends mobile phone and accidently erased it. When I tried to find it in the "saved msg's", I came across a message she had written when she was apparently drunk. The message read: Is it bad that i'm still ma...
A. 8 February 2006: Well that is what happens when you look into others private things, so you cannot undo what you have seen and you dont seem to be able to accept her explanation so what is next ?
Ask her whay she has kept this message and who she was sending it t... (read in full...)
He won't tell his parents I have a son and now I'm pregnant by him
Q. i have been goin out with this guy for 9 months, i really love him. i have a 4 year old son from a previous relationship and he and boyfriend get on great. i couldnt be happier. He is really close to his parents but he wont tell them i have a son ...
A. 8 February 2006: Sort this out now, he has to tell them you have a son and are now pregnant with his baby, you are now a family and they need to know this.
He needs to sit them down and just be honest and if he wont then what future do you have, you can not have... (read in full...)
How many is too many sexual partners?
Q. How Many is Too Many?? I am just curious, I had the post earlier about peoples opinions/views on casual sex? That got me to thinking, how many would you think is too many for past number of sexual partners?? I mean I know there are average...
A. 8 February 2006: Well done Cochise, finally you got to the point, have you met a woman and she is 38 and has had loads of blokes and you think she may have or still is a bit of a tart ?
Let me tell you, there is in my opinion and it is just that, there is no right... (read in full...)
I'm involved with his parents as well as him...
Q. My partner and i have a brilliant relationship except for his parents. They ring us every morning and expect him to call out to their house in the evening doing stuff. Even on his day off he still has to do things for them. Getting too much cause we ...
A. 8 February 2006: Ditch him he is tied to his mummy and daddy and you come well down the pecking order.
Trust me it will not get better asw he is fine with it all, he has told you to get used to it, you dont want to and neither should you.
Your parting advice t... (read in full...)
She is pregnant by him and though I love her, I don't know what to do
Q. my fiance of two years had an affair in October with one of my friends. We worked through it and were as stong as ever and had set a date for the wedding. Last Friday she told me she was pregnant by him and was keeping it. We love each other ...
A. 8 February 2006: Jump ship, you aint siling anywhere with this, she may love you and you her but she is keeping the baby and you dont want it, good on her and good for you to know your own mind enough not to think you could bring up this baby.
Some men do but you ... (read in full...)
How do I get over this jealousy?
Q. Hello, i would really like some advice. i am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for over two years. I really love and trust him but i am very jealous and insecure. i get annoyed when my boyfriend goes out without me and i dont like ...
A. 8 February 2006: Hi, Jealousy is a natural thing to feel, we all feel it and it is part of our emotional make up, when it is not good is if it gets out of hand and becomes obsessive, then we have to look at why and what is making us feel this way.
You are feel... (read in full...)
Where is the line between what I should be telling my boyfriend and what I should keep to myself?
Q. What are some things you should keep to yourself and what are things you should tell your boyfriend? Isn't there a fine line? Boyfriends shouldn't be therapists, but shouldn't yout trust them enough to tell them your inner thoughts and feelings? I'm ...
A. 8 February 2006: You are right about fine line, you should not tell all in a new relationship but as the years go by you may want to reveal more, Mystery is good and you should keep your secrets as long as possible unless of course they are likely to damage the ... (read in full...)
Crushed that he dumped me... But now he's not sure. Should I meet him?
Q. I am a 35 year old mother of three and have been seeing a guy for the past ten months, we never argued i got on great with his family. A few days ago he said we werer on different paths and we should end it. I am crushed it was such a shock. ...
A. 8 February 2006: HI, well my thinking on this is that he just got cold feet, your relationship was going well and he got scared, no more no less than that, he had visions of the two of you growing old together in slippers with parker knoll chairs and mugs of cocoa ... (read in full...)
It's like he's bored with sex and it takes him *forever* to ejaculate!
Q. hi, iv been with my guy for about 2 years now, his always been really good at making love with me but he takes a really long time to ejaculate sometimes up to 1 to 2 hours and alot of the time we both just give up after about 1 hour because we are ...
A. 8 February 2006: Hi again and thanks for the up date, you seem to have moved on a bit since the first letter as you have looked at what he is into and found it to be just the usual stuff, you have made the decision that looking at porn is not for you and you have ... (read in full...)
I have tried and tried so maybe you guys can help. Where can I meet a single man!?
Q. Hello! I am 26 and never had a serious relationship. I used to suffer form shyness and low self esteem but I am now happy, look great (in my opinion) and have good confidence. The thing is I go on dates but I never get passed about 4 or 5 dat...
A. 7 February 2006: Hi, well first let me tell you that you are not alone, lots of people make the mistake of "too much too soon" and this can be intimidating to someone who was initially attratcted to the fun loving wonderful girl you obviously are.
You need to lear... (read in full...)
I get so upset so easily... Help before it breaks the relationship.
Q. I'm having trouble with my relationship of almost 6 months. I keep getting upset at him for the smallest things (like being busy and not coming with my family for dinner, etc) and usually end up crying almost everytime I see him. I think its ...
A. 7 February 2006: Break up with him, you both want different things, you want him to be with you a lot and he does not want this, so stop crying over him and finish it.
You do sound a little depressed though, if you keep crying that is a sign that all is not righ... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you ever be interested in a girl three years older than you?
Q. Can a 26yr old woman seriously, in good conscience, flirt with a 23yr old grad school classmate? Or is that just creepy? He is so cute, but so young; I feel a twinge of guilt when I catch myself flirting with him. And I can't tell whether he's ...
A. 7 February 2006: 3 years is ok, it really should not matter who is the oldest, unless one of you is below 16, you are both not in this catagory so flirt back, send him a valantine.
See how the waters lie, if he wants a date then the valantine card should init... (read in full...)
No sex, just sucking... Is this wrong?
Q. I'm a 15-year-old girl and going out with a guy only a month younger than me. He's a total sweetie and we've been going out for three months. We've made out and he's felt under my bra. But he wants to take my bra off. No sex, but sucking... I'm not ...
A. 7 February 2006: He is trying it on and seeing how far you will go, you have decided you like kissing and cuddling but dont want him to go beyond this for the moment, thats cool, you stick with what you feel comfortable with and tell him that is all you want.
D... (read in full...)
I am gutted that my girlfriend told all my friends in the pub that I was "average" in bed... !
Q. we was in the local pub a few days ago, and my girlfriend told all are friends that i was average in bed! she says she loves me more than anything! i just dont know what to do i love her too but i cant foget about what she said, and now i'm to w...
A. 7 February 2006: Looks to me like she had had a few to many drinks and her mout engaged before her brain did, I am guilty of this a lot and if I could turn back time and un-do what I said I would but that is just not possible.
You must have all been talking abou... (read in full...)
He wants to marry me... But I'm not even sure I still want to be with him
Q. Dear cupid, iI have been with the man i love for two years now . Hes been a good friend for 12 years . he plans on marring me . But the fact remains is i don't want to married to tell you the truth im not so sure i want to be with him anymore ...
A. 7 February 2006: Hi Tragic, well this is a familiar tale for so many women, it would appear that you have just grown apart, this has been helped along by your different sexual needs, he is "topping up" with porn, the porn has nothing to do with how you look, men ... (read in full...)
His ex and her kids seem to be more important to my husband than us!
Q. My husband put his ex girlfriend's needs before my son's and I. They have two children together (not really sure they are his ) but we have to do without for her, and after five years together it is more than I can stand. What should I do?...
A. 7 February 2006: I know just what you mean, it is always tough on the second family but this sounds more that just a money issue, paying child support is something the government says he has to do and contact visits are essential for the wellbeing of his children so ... (read in full...)
Want to reach out to my girlfriend and let her know she can come back, but afraid that might make things worse...
Q. My girlfriend of 5 years has left me for another man. I can't seem to let go. I know she is struggling with her decision as well, but she still won't come home. We still talk almost on a daily basis, but I'm afraid that my "reaching out" to her i...
A. 7 February 2006: She has made her bed and is lying in it, she broke yur heart and she knows it.
When we have loved someone for so long we are attatched to them and when it ends you grieve, you get seperation anxiety and long for the good times you had together, well... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he bother to do anything special any more? He even cancelled on my birthday!
Q. I have been going out with my b/f for 7 months. In the beginning of the relationship we were all over each other, and although neither of us like talking on the phone, we talked often throughout the day. Then gradually the phone calls don't ev...
A. 7 February 2006: Put yourself out of your misery and dump this bloke, he is giving you the message that he no longer wants to be with you and just does not have the guts to come out and say it, you get in there first and tell him its over.
... (read in full...)
It's like he's bored with sex and it takes him *forever* to ejaculate!
Q. hi, iv been with my guy for about 2 years now, his always been really good at making love with me but he takes a really long time to ejaculate sometimes up to 1 to 2 hours and alot of the time we both just give up after about 1 hour because we are ...
A. 7 February 2006: No wonder you give up after 2 hours, that is a long time and the problem is that I think he is feeling a failure for taking so long to come, and this in turn has driven him to try and find a faster release.
Have a look at the porn, there are lots... (read in full...)
What can I get a lady friend for Valentine's that won't give the wrong message?
Q. Hey there ladies, need some valentine gift ideas for a very good "lady friend". Me and my "lady friend" are really close good friends, have loads in common. I'm not looking for a relationship, and she only just got out of a frustrating 3year re...
A. 7 February 2006: If neither of you are more than just good friends then there is no need to get her a card, you dont want her to be your valentine just your good buddy, so relax just thank her for being your friend and enjoy each others company without complicating ... (read in full...)
Am I too formal around my friends?
Q. Hello. Need some opinions. Recently went out with friends and we did a character summary of each other. I was told that I'm reliable, confident, mature, sweetheart, and "highly formal" in my approach to people, the way I talk, and the image that I p...
A. 7 February 2006: I really do wish people would not do these character tests, if you want to do them then do them alone.
Do you feel that the test was a good reflection of your character, I have done loads of these over the years and not one has been completly accu... (read in full...)
How can I discuss things with my boyfriend without making him mad?
Q. I am a 16 year old girl. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 months and things was going really good, until recently we have been falling apart. We barely talk to each other any more or even hang out. We fight about the littlest things. I try ...
A. 7 February 2006: You are both changing, you are naturally drifting apart because you just are not right for each other, most of us have a lot of different partners before we meet the right one and settle down.
You need to seperate as soon as possible and go find... (read in full...)
I caught him lying many times..is this innocent or is he up to something behind my back?
Q. Im starting to be concerned with the way my bf has be acting. I mean maybe it's just stress from college and stuff but that doesn't give him the right to be a jerk towards me right? Well here is the situation. A couple months back like in lat...
A. 6 February 2006: Cut him some slack, he is at college and this means the start of some excitement.
He will be trying to fit in with new frinds, find his way and drinking will inevitably be a part of this.
I suspect he is drinking with his mates and as he knows wh... (read in full...)
What does she really want from me??
Q. Dear cupid, What kind of relationship is this? Ok people we've probably remmeber that i broke up with my ex 4 weeks ago, an last friday we realized we both still had feelings for each other. This evolved into this: she sed she wants 2 be ...
A. 6 February 2006: Hi Barnzy, you have answered your own question, she does not want a full on relationship with you what she want is the power holds over you, by having a kind of secret relationship with you she gets to keep you dangling which is a very powerful ... (read in full...)
I've been with my guy for two years but he still acts like he's single!
Q. hi, have been with my b/f for 2 years now but sometimes i just dont think he takes our relationship seriously. i get the impression that sometimes my b/f thinks that he is single and goes around acting like he is single, for example their has been ...
A. 6 February 2006: Ditch the dirty bugger now and move on, he is a waste of your time, he is showing you no respect or that he even gives a damn about your feelings, this is not acceptable, cut him out of your life now as he obviously want to be free and single, ... (read in full...)
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