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... Send *meedle a private message | | | *meedle's profile:51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.
I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.
I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help. |
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My house is getting too crowded and now my bf wants his son to move in!
Q. well, its like this. I moved to a smaller unit with 2 b/r on my own after a divorce. I was moving on in my life and started a new job etc. A few months later I met bf, he moved in, his dog moved in. A while later my 16 year old moved in from his ...
A. 23 August 2007: Ask your self honestly if you would rather they all move out.
I dont think you are happy with a crowded house and even a move would not make you happy and this is nothing to be ashamed of.
You just moved in bloke before you had "me" time as a goo... (read in full...)
This guy at work is giving me looks! What should I do?
Q. This is abit long im not sure if there is anything in this but here goes-there's this guy who i sometimes see at work,he is almost 10 years older than me,anyway we have never really spoken to each other -once as he was leaving and i was returning ...
A. 23 August 2007: I don`t think there is anything to read into what he does, he would have approached you by now if he was interested.
But if you interested in him, you could try smiling at him and going out of your way to bump into him.
If you are interest... (read in full...)
Is she trying to make me jealous?
Q. Alright so I recently started dating a girl and I like her alot, but apparently I'm not the only one. She has a whole group of guys who seem to be obsessive over her, all of them are ex-bf's. This week alone she's been asked out by these guys 4 t...
A. 23 August 2007: Ditch her, she playing with your mental health!!
She loves the attention, she may or may not want them but she is still with them in her head.
She does not really have time for you in her life so cut her loose and let her be with these others. ... (read in full...)
He has subjected me to mental abuse.
Q. I have been with my partner for 13 years. I am 32 and he is 42. About a year ago we decided we were in a good position in our lives to have a family. We always said if we had children we would get married so we also decided we would do this as well. ...
A. 23 August 2007: You need a long service medal for staying with this jerk for so long, he is bad news, I have managed womans refuges for years and he is showing all the signs of abusive behaviour.
Leave him now as soon as you can and please do not have a child with... (read in full...)
He over reacts over the smallest things.
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 5 months,every now and then he over reacts to the smallest thing and tries to make me feel awful, such as forgetting to pick up some beef. Is this man, whom i get on with normally very well, worth pursuing as a long term ...
A. 23 August 2007: Run for the hills, life is too short!!
If it aint right it probably never will be so ditch him and find someone who makes you feel good not one who does`nt.... (read in full...)
I have no desire for sex.
Q. i am 49,male, have no desire for sex, my wife has been patient but for how long. i am not unhappy with my wife, am just happy with everyday life. i do not look elsewhere either. ...
A. 23 August 2007: Have you always had a low sex drive?
Are you on any medication?
Do you still fancy your wife or if you are honest is sex with her just boring and repetative so you have just opted out.
Do you fancy men?
Have you tried spicing up your love life? ... (read in full...)
Any advice on breaking up? As smoothly as possible?
Q. ok here it goes...i've been in a relationship for over 3 years now and my guy is great but over the last couple of months i find myself drifting away, not that i am falling out of love with him i'm kinda just bored out of my friggin mind!! not only ...
A. 23 August 2007: Only advice I can give is to do it as soon as possible, to linger once you have made up your mind is cruel and un-necessary, this will hurt him more in the long run.
Just tell him, brutal as it sounds it is the only way, you have grown apart, it h... (read in full...)
I'm married but i have a crush, and he knows my husband.
Q. Hi. I am married to a guy, who I have been going out with for 8 years. He did cheat on me and got a child out of wedlock. I was bitter but managed to work on my emotions especially for the children's sake. However at the moment I have developed a ...
A. 23 August 2007: You got two choices, either stay faithful to your hubby and work things out with him especially in the bedroom department.
Or start an affair with this man who obviously wants one with you or would not be flirting so much, but just be aware if you ... (read in full...)
He said he prefers porn to me sometimes.
Q. Alright, I need some advice on what I should do or say in this situation. Last night my boyfriend and I were talking about us getting married, Just the cutsie, lovey dovey conversation. Well to bring up a past problem, when I would go to bed my ...
A. 23 August 2007: I bet it really hurt when you asked the question and he said sometimes to preffering porn and masturbation to sex with you, but we shoud remember that if we ask a question we may not like the answer and at least he was honest.
I myself some... (read in full...)
Married 10 years with 4 kids. Hubby complains my 'heart isn't in it' when we have sex! Any advice?
Q. I'm new and ran across the site while looking for relationship help. Here is my issue: I've been married for 10 years. My husband and I have a good relationship, but the problem is that we're both very busy. We have 4 kids which I care for...
A. 23 August 2007: Well there is a lot of things going on here, you are trying to be all things to everyone and it is just not possible, 4 kids is a lot to manage with house and hubby.
Something had to give and like a lot of other couples it is usually the sex. sex ... (read in full...)
She is coming back earlier now.
Q. Hey all, My situation is in more detail here if you feel like a read. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-had-the-girl-i-had-always-day.html Anyway, to cut a long story short my ex left me before she went home for the summer holidays. She is ...
A. 23 August 2007: Leave this one to her to make the next move, she is sending mixed messages to you and you dont know what is in her head yet, why is she comming home early? also she made it very clear that the end for her was just that , the end.
Now she cont... (read in full...)
Sent her an email expressing my feelings and she has not responded. What should I do?
Q. Ive recently got back in touch with a female who is older than me. However i have developed strong feelings for her and think I love her. I told her via email that i thought she was special and that i cared for her. I havent heard anything from her ...
A. 23 August 2007: I agree with DJ, you have set out your stall and now it is up to her to either buy or walk away.
She could be silent for many innocent reasons like e-mail off, computer broken, holiday etc.
Or she could just be thinking about what you wrote an... (read in full...)
Having problems with my family! Any advice?
Q. hi ya at the moment im feeling that my family have been treating me like they hate me!! me my mum and dad always argue over silly things and i feel like are trying to start a arguement with me on perpose. plz help i used to get along with them b...
A. 23 August 2007: Sounds to me like you have had your nose pushed out a little and are jealouse of the attention the others are getting now it is not just you at home.
You are bound to feel like this and there maybe some truth in it as your mum has more hous... (read in full...)
I want so bad to sleep with her, I want to make love to her and tell her that I am in love with her but she's MY WIFE'S SISTER!!!
Q. I have fallen in love with my wife's sister. I love and care for my wife but not the way I feel for her sister. I want so bad to sleep with her, I want to make love to her and tell her that I am in love with her. If she asked me to sleep with her I ...
A. 23 August 2007: Oh dear, what a mess you have got your self in, not going to preach and tell you how wrong this would be if you slept with her but going to tell you that it is possible the wishing is all in your head and maybe it is totally one sided, you must have ... (read in full...)
I know deep inside she wants to be friends with me but how do I make her be my best friend again?
Q. I have this girl problem at school. I don't like her like a girlfriend but she was one of my best freinds. Now, she won't even talk to me. I told her that she didn't trust me and that I knew she didn't want to be friends with me and she got mad at ...
A. 23 August 2007: Try and talk to her again, you have hurt and upset her and she is punishing you. Maybe she fancies you and the realisation that you only want her as a friend has hurt her deeply and if this is so she will need some time to get her head around ... (read in full...)
I almost kissed someone else, do I tell her?
Q. Hi, I am in love with my current girlfriend and we have been together for a little over a year, i went out with some friends and got really drunk, i ended up dancing with this girl, normal flirting, and at the end of the night i almost kissed her, ...
A. 22 August 2007: Put it behind you and move on, you only thought about it, you did not do it and that is the main thing. Carry on with your life and with your girlfriend, it means nothing, we are all attracted to other people from time to time, and this is normal it ... (read in full...)
He wakes up and reads porn like it's the newspaper and masterbates...what can I do?
Q. my boyfriend gets up in the mornings before me sometimes i do wake up to find him reading porn stories like its the sunday paper and masterbating i dont want to but i get mad because i would rather him come wake me so that i can please him i need to ...
A. 22 August 2007: Hi I really feel for you as I have had a similar situation in my last relationship, my partner of 14 years would spend upto 11 hours on the internet watching porn, he would lie to me and tell me he was at work and then sneak home, he would wait for ... (read in full...)
I'm getting married and feel guilty about thinking about the guy I saw a few years ago.
Q. I was seeing a bloke 4 years ago for about a month, I hadnt told anyone and just kept it quiet. I really liked him but got scared and called it all off. I now realise that it was because Ive never met anyone so nice and was scared that if i let him ...
A. 22 August 2007: You have answered your own question, you are thinking about him because you finished it before knowing if it would have gone anywhere, you are sub conciously thinking it could have been him you were marrying.
Love is so complicated an emotion and ... (read in full...)
Is big best, if so why?
Q. hi i am a male and not well endowed is big best if so why ...
A. 22 August 2007: Tricky one to answer as im sure you are feeling your penis is very small and so useless, well let me tell you that I have slept with a fair share of men and most think there penis is small until you have it pointed out that in fact it is average.
L... (read in full...)
We're through! Is it possible to go back to being friends now?
Q. I received a call from my girlfriend last night and our relationship as boyfriend - girlfriend is over. Do you think it is possible to go back to being just friends? There will also be occasions where we will be at the same event such as this ...
A. 22 August 2007: You are being brave about the relationship being over so im guessing you knew there was something wrong.
It is possible to be just friends but lots of factors depend on this like how long you two were together, were you friends before. I would say ... (read in full...)
Not so much a question I suppose - more of a cry from the heart - even doing the right thing can hurt like hell.
Q. Does knowing the answer help the heartache? In short, I'm married, she's married, both have kids and work together. Recently we told each other how we felt - head over heels in love - and have been meeting after work or at lunchtime - purely to talk ...
A. 21 August 2007: Oh how my heart has gone out to you, you are doing the right thing but in what you say i feel your pain.
I won`t go over old ground and tell you that you should never be together as to do that would make me a hypocrite and that im not, but all I ca... (read in full...)
Please help I need to decide whether to end it (but I don't know if I'm strong enough to do so).
Q. I'm the kinda girl who is always nice and wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally. My boyfriend can be very nice but when he wants to be he can be very hurtful say nasty things, hang up the phone on me, put me down by saying I can't do stuff etc. ...
A. 21 August 2007: Look into your heart and tell me what you feel, by writing what you have wrote I know you know the answer to your question you just want us to re-assure you that what you need to do is in fact the right way.
Well let me tell you that yes you shou... (read in full...)
Not sure if i could be pregnant!
Q. ok PLEASE please help ... not sure if i could be pregnant.. i had unprotected sex on the 13th of april... i was freaked, but had my period the following day and was delighted... only i had unprotected sex the day after... he didnt cum or anything...
A. 25 April 2007: Oh you poor girl, you must be worried sick and I bet you are not eating or sleeping.
I cannot reasure you and tell you that you are definatly not pregnant only a test from chemist or GP will tell you this.
Do you have the money for a pregnanc... (read in full...)
4 week ago she found out that i had had sex with a boy she knew!
Q. hello, i have a relationship problem :( my girlfreind of two years wouldnt have sex with me even though she wasnt a virgin. 4 week ago she found out that i had had sex with a boy she knew! i just need to know how to get her back and if the ...
A. 25 April 2007: Hi again, just noticed that she was not a virgin but this does not change anything, she still has the right to choose who she has sex with.
If the boy you had sex with was one she knew was he a friend of hers, and does this bloke not want a rela... (read in full...)
4 week ago she found out that i had had sex with a boy she knew!
Q. hello, i have a relationship problem :( my girlfreind of two years wouldnt have sex with me even though she wasnt a virgin. 4 week ago she found out that i had had sex with a boy she knew! i just need to know how to get her back and if the ...
A. 25 April 2007: Hi
Few issues going on here,
You had sex with a man
You cheated on your girlfriend
You were annoyed with girlfriend as you think she should have sex with you as she is a virgin and you have been with her two years.
you punish her for not b... (read in full...)
Did the woman in the resturaunt fancy me? My friend seems to think so...any advice?
Q. When I was at a restaurant today, I happened to look over at the other table where this nice woman looked away from me (at least I'm sure she did) and then my friend that was sat with me at the table saw this and said to me she was eyeing you up or ...
A. 24 April 2007: I look at men and when they catch me doing this I oftern turn away, although sometimes I keep looking, we all look at people we like the look of and find attractive and this can lead to wanting to flirt or it could just be admiring someones looks.
I... (read in full...)
Is it harmful to put aftershave on your scrotum?
Q. Is it ok to put aftershave on your penis and scrotum when you masturbate? It feels really good, but I didn't know if it could be harmful or not....
A. 24 April 2007: Well im not sure that if I was male I would want to do this, I guess it is the stinging that you like.
There is a danger as aftershave is alcohol based that you could burn yourself or have a reaction so in that way it is not advisable.
If when you... (read in full...)
I don't think women working has a positive effect on society. What's happening?
Q. I am frustrated about the entering of women at workplace and can't see it to be having much positive effect on the society. I am a kind of guy who wants his girl to need him, to be dependent on him for some reasons, may it be financial or emotional. ...
A. 23 April 2007: Oh Dear, where have you been hiding, I thought all the cave men were dead, but you are alive and kicking.
Move with the times, women have the vote, we have a voice and are no longer tied by the apron strings to the man and kids.
Men tried for year... (read in full...)
Am i too loose for my new guy??
Q. Okay, so i recently started seeing a guy and we discussed having sex in the near future. I had gone down on him before and noticed that he might have been a bit smaller then my ex boyfriend(whom i had sex with before). Is it possible that my ...
A. 25 January 2007: I would have sex first before I worried about if im too loose or not and then you will have your answer if he like Martini had difficulties, Martini has told you what you can do if you do have a problem but I doubt you will, he would have to be very ... (read in full...)
He moved back home and I am to join him--but I haven't heard from him in 4 days! What's going on?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 2 months, we've spent alot of time together, and got on so well. I've fallen for him big time. Thing is he's from another country, and has now gone home. I'm going to move over for a year to stay with a friend in 5 months. ...
A. 25 January 2007: Give it a little longer as you are right, 4 days is not a long time but if he does`nt want a relationship now the reality of going home has kicked in then there is nothing you can do about it.
... (read in full...)
He seems distant--Is his exams really stressing him or is it me?
Q. hi ive been with my boyfriend for about 8months we met through friends but we only see each other on weekends as were at different universitys we phone and text all the time probably ten times a day but for2weeks he hasnt been texting so much or ...
A. 25 January 2007: If it were me I would just text as normal and let him reply when he can, if he is stressed with exams then you do not want to add to the stress, exams will only go on for a few weeks so if it is that he is working up to ending the relationship then ... (read in full...)
I want to have a sexual relationship with my straight best friend. How do I go about this?
Q. I'm straight (slight bi tendencies but I prefer women)and I have a straight best friend named Adam who I've been having sexual fantasies about since we were in high school. Lately, I have been doing it more and more frequently. We have both been ...
A. 24 January 2007: Well this is difficult as you are best friends and to all intents and purposes "straight" and I usually advise against best friends what ever sex having sex as it is a sure way to ruin a friendship.
Lots of us dream or having sex with someone ... (read in full...)
During sex, is laughter a normal thing to do?
Q. During Sex, is Laughter normal? Understand that until recently I was a virgin and all I knew of sex I gleaned from pornography. I was having sex with my new gf and I started laughing uncontrollably. She asked what was so funny like I'd offende...
A. 24 January 2007: My advice would be to try and not laugh again as I could imagine it putting your girlfriend off a little, you are both in the throws of passion and the moment is broken by you laughing.
It is not abnormal but it could be off putting and im sure once... (read in full...)
My ex wants to keep having sex with me but he wants to continue living with another woman! Help me out here?
Q. I was in a relationship for 7 yrs, but have since seperated. He left me for my friend and neighbour. Its been 5 months now that "tom" has been living with my old neighbour "carry". Tom came over on the weekend to pick up our 2 kids for his visite ...
A. 16 January 2007: Tom as in Tom cat is a very good name for him, but I do understand how you let him sleep with you, when you love someone and have two children to them and 7 years history it is not easy to just switch that off no matter how much he hurt you sleeping ... (read in full...)
Since our split I've felt my life is a boring routine. I've also developed feelings for my best friend!
Q. So I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and I'm going through a really rough time at home as well. Lately I've just felt really down and depressed, like theres no point in my life and that it's just like a routine I have to do everyday. I still ...
A. 10 January 2007: At times fo stress and change we oftern turn to our friends for comfort and guidence, and friendship of this sort because we are already emotionally un-stable can become confused, she is supporting, kind and loving with you, all the qualities of a ... (read in full...)
She said she wants to meet w/ her ex and I went through the roof! I feel cheated and deceived.
Q. Am I right to be concerned? We have been engaged for 2 years, lived together for nearly 3 years, and have known each other for several years before we started our relationship. I was previously involved in a 23 year relationship that ended with ...
A. 10 January 2007: I think you should just let her meet up with him, it is a trust thing and it is not nice for you but she will meet with him anyway and if she still has feeling for him there is nothing you can do and it is better it all comes to a head sooner or ... (read in full...)
He said he was single and childless, but he's married w/ a daughter! How can I trust him again??
Q. Do we have a future. My partner and I have been together for a year, he has lied constantly throughout his relationship, initially saying he was single and childless, as it turns out he is married with a 20 month old daughter. He told me in March ...
A. 10 January 2007: How can you build a good, solid relationship when he has told you so many lies and so early on in the friendship, this man cannot be trusted and may one day be telling his next conquest that he has no partner and you will still be sleeping with him ... (read in full...)
After walking by me, he stared and made eye contact. Does he like me?
Q. When a fella walks past you and makes a point of not looking at you but then when hes furthur away stares (without fail), and makes eye contact odes that mean he likes you?...
A. 10 January 2007: There is a good chance that it does mean he is interested, I do that, when there is someone I fancy i just look away stupid really as how then are they to know that I like them, so my advice is to smile at him and when he looks back make sure he ... (read in full...)
He's my school director, he married, has kids and I think...I have this huge crush on him. What can I do?
Q. sophomore year i started getting close with my school athletic director who is in his 40s married with kids. hes aweeesom, the nicest person ever, and sooo cute. i love him to death. i babysat his kids a few times and his wife is beautiful. he ...
A. 10 January 2007: Sadly this is never going to go anywhere and is just a crush as you suspect, we get these all the way through life and they are not just for when we are teenagers.
Crushes are nice, they give us a warm feeling but they can also hurt us, as we usua... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to have sex with my friend. Is this normal?
Q. My husband wants me to have sex with my girlfriend. Is He normal?...
A. 9 January 2007: He is obviviously fantasising about lesbian sex, lots of men do but most do not ask there girlfriends/ wife to actually do it.
My advice is don`t do anything you are uncomfortable with, if you fancy your girlfriend and she fancies you then mayb... (read in full...)
Husband is behaving secretively...is he having an affair?
Q. my husband has been very secretive lately, i am really worried he is having an affair, he is 50 and i am 38, we have been together for 19 yrs and have 3 kids, i admit i have not been easy to live with but neither has he. but things that he tells me...
A. 9 January 2007: It definatly looks to me like he is either having an affair or working up to one, maybe he has someone at work who he fancies and they are flirting that could be why he is disapearing to text etc, but you are right to worry it all adds up to him ... (read in full...)
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