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*meedle agony aunt


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*meedle's profile:

51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.

I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.

I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help.

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How do you get over feeling like a fool for trusting someone you shouldn't have?

Q.   How do you get over feeling like a fool for trusting someone you shouldn't have? Or for allowing yourself to be used even though you knew better?...

A.   6 February 2009: Well quick answer is that we are human and so dont listen to the logic of our head. We seem at times to think with our heart and only to listen to that. No one has got to our age and not made mistakes by loving someone who we knew would be wron... (read in full...)

Why are woman naturally jealous?

Q.   Why are we women naturally jealous? Men are naturally visual, so they naturally have a "wandering eye". Why do we have to be jealous then? I'm not saying "all women" or "all men", but most. I know I get jealous as much as I rationally know ...

A.   5 February 2009: Human nature is a mysteriouse thing and we we never fully understand it. Im a very jealouse person and much as I try to stop the feelings they will always be there, so now I tell any partners about my jealousy and happily the love of my life does... (read in full...)

Does my b/f still like his ex?

Q.   I've been bestfriends with this boy then we went out for one day b/c he kissed his ex . I forgave him but we went bak to being friends . we went out again in November but his ex was making it miserable for me and they kissed again . Now we go...

A.   5 February 2009: Yes, Yes and more yes, he does still like her and he aint gonna give her up so you need to see this and make a decision, either put up with her still in his life or ditch him and tell them you hope they will be very happy together but there aint ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with my ex?

Q.   i love my ex very much and i havent give up on him. i didnt want to break up with him but i had to. it has just beenn a month and he's telling me he realllyyy likes this girl. and he says he's very happy with her and she understands him more. he ...

A.   5 February 2009: Time to move on, some people can stay friends with there ex and im still friends with one of mine, but its clear that this is not the case for you, you love him still and the hurt is raw. He thinks you have moved on emotionally like he has, some... (read in full...)

She refused me. Should we stay friends?

Q.   Should i remain friend to a girl who refused to be my girlfriend and how?...

A.   28 January 2009: We all need friends and so why not, it maybe hard if you really fancy her but if she dont fancy you back then surely a friendship is better than nothing. Yes its hard to be mates but you cannot make someone fancy you and you could have fun toge... (read in full...)

My girlfriend doesn't want me to have any female friends.

Q.   Written here before many times. My gf has broken up with me many times. We keep getting back togethre. During the last break up, which lasted a month, I met new friends thorugh some old friends. When my gf and I are together she is very jealous. I ...

A.   28 January 2009: Read what you have wrote and think if you were me how would you reply. You have said that she will probably break up with you once again anyhow so my advice on this occasion is to go with your friends and live with any consequence. Your partner ... (read in full...)

What can I do about my gfs low sex drive??

Q.   dear cupid, My,girlfreind has a really low sex drive, she has been like this ever since i met her and now its starting to hurt me because i want her to feel the same way sexually about me as i do her. When we have sex its always me coming on to ...

A.   28 January 2009: I feel sad for both of you, sex within a relationship is the best and worse thing as it causes ups and downs with couples. Very rarely do we find a partner with the same sex drive as ourselves and this can turn what should be fantastic into a war ... (read in full...)

I love him, but staying with him would make me a home wrecker. What should I do?

Q.   o dear god you are going to think that i am a right ho but im not honest. i had the most amazing sex this is what happend. i work wid the guy ok and he asked me if i wanted to go for lunch and i said ok not thinking anything of it den he drove us...

A.   28 January 2009: Im sorry to tell you this but this boss/ cheating man has just abused his power as your boss, he has fancied you and took you, he promised you the earth and made you feel special, he can do that as he is the boss, has the title and the money, you ... (read in full...)

I fell in love over MSN but he doesn't return my feelings.

Q.   i fell in love wiv some guy over msn (i didnt know him but i couldnt help it) and when i told him i loved him he sed he loved me to. he likes it when i flirt wiv him but a few days later he told me to stop thinking of him in tht way and, like i sed ...

A.   28 January 2009: How old is this boy/man? Is he still having any contact with you? Problems with relationships that are just internet ones are that they are not at the whole thing, you can be someone yoiu would like to be and they can be the same, you can loose yo... (read in full...)

I love her but I feel she still loves him.

Q.   I really like this girl. And before she liked me. I was too shy and she got with this other guy for a while but now they have broken up and I have plucked up the courage to speak to her and call her. Things were going okay. She dropped hints but now ...

A.   26 January 2009: Well sadly it sounds like she is still interested in him, and just likes your company. You may feel you would be the best thing for her but she has freedom of choice and she chooses him at this moment in time. This does not mean that you cannot b... (read in full...)

Who knows... is she or is she not?

Q.   Hi there I had been dating my now wife for 3 months and I asked her to marry me, 1 year later this came true. I am happy and everything is going well. The problem I have is that last year about 8 months into our relationship we went through a bad sp...

A.   26 January 2009: Well personally I think you are winding your self up so much that you see things that are just not there. You maybe right, she may have done something like kissed this guy when you went through your bad patch but then again she may not have done... (read in full...)

I am hoping to god my period comes soon, as I'm getting increasingly worried.

Q.   Hi. I recently "fooled around" with my fiance. He came on my breasts, and it ran down onto my legs. I was very worried, so within the hour I had taken the morning after pill. Now, I am also on the contraceptive pill, and I was on my week break, ...

A.   26 January 2009: Right well it is time to just STOP worrying, you are not pregnant from this one incident and the more you worry the more late you will be. Pregnancy tests are pretty accurate and lets face it you did not have sex, sperm can travel a long way but ... (read in full...)

Is it ever too late to try ballet?

Q.   Hey - I've always been fascinated by ballet and always wanted to give it a shot but never have. I'm finally now in a position to try but the thing is, I'm 19 and not a little girl any more - is it ever too late to try ballet?...

A.   26 January 2009: I took up horse riding at 40 so im guessing its is not too late to try anything as long as your GP has no medical reason to stop you and you are passionate, fit and supple, like dance and are prepared for the aching feet and legs etc. Ring up a ball... (read in full...)

How can I get rid of my lisp?

Q.   I'm 15 years old and I've had a lisp since I can remember. Does anyone know if there is ANYTHING I can do to get rid of it? I get called for it at school, it makes me feel so outside from everyone and I hate meeting and talking to new people. ...

A.   26 January 2009: MY sister who is now 43 has had a fairly bad stammer for all her life, not sure how/why it started but do know that when she is nervouse or in a new situation with new people for instance, it gets much worse. She finds relaxation therapy usef... (read in full...)

If a woman never complains about him, will a man take advantage of her or be more responsive?

Q.   If a woman never complains, and is always pleasant and supportive, will a man take advantage of her or will he become more responsive? My sister privately agonizes over a gentleman who has admitted he is only interested in dating. She, however, i...

A.   25 January 2009: I get the feeling this bloke is actually married or in a relationship and he cannot always ring as wife/partner is around. Even if this is not the case, its obviouse he is using her and this will go on until the day she has had enough and puts a st... (read in full...)

He seems the same as what he's always been, except for this strange lying!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a year and a half, and we're extremely close and have never argued or had any problems. He's usually very honest and open with me I'm the same with him - we tell each other everything. So this i...

A.   25 January 2009: wow, well I agree with you his lies are strange, reading what you wrote I was certain he was having an affair but when I got to the bottom I changed my mind slightly. Im really not sure what is going on with him but if I was you I would sit him down... (read in full...)

I don't want to have sex with him, would a BJ be acceptable?

Q.   This guy I work with I think just wants a one-off, he has asked me round to his place, I want to go because I fancy him but I don't want to have sex the first time we are alone, what can I do instead of going all the way, would a blow job be ...

A.   25 January 2009: If you dont want to be used for sex then dont go round to his as this "one off" is all he wants and to be fair to him he seems to have told you it will be once and not the start of a romance. Dont let him use you, keep your pride and keep away from... (read in full...)

What is the best way to kiss someone?

Q.   I need some kissing advice, my two front teeth stick out a bit and everytime I go to kiss someone we always bang teeth, this has made so nervous I have stopped kissing, am I doing something wrong. What is the best way to kiss someone?...

A.   25 January 2009: Relax you are doing fine, just remember that kissing is about the lips and tongue and not the teeth. I still knock teeth now and again but we just laugh and move on. Kissing gets better the more you do it and remember, practice makes perfect.... (read in full...)

Is it me? I 'm crazy? Smell bad?? WHAT???

Q.   Is it me? Am I crazy? Do I smell? Am I gay, and the only one that can't see it? Why the hell is it that every girl I ask out is taken without me knowing, or not wanting to be in a relationship? Am I destined to be alone forever? I used ...

A.   25 January 2009: Tears taste salty so we dont get to like crying too much. You are low at the moment and you dont need me to tell you this, but you do know deep down that non of this is you and that it will get better, you just want it all now!! I can tell you... (read in full...)

Where can I meet some nice guys?

Q.   I've just moved to an all girls grammer school and am really missing having guys around. i've never had a proper boyfriend and really think i'm ready for one, i think i need someone to be there for me and someone to spend some time with. when could ...

A.   25 January 2009: When you have made some girlfriends at your new school, im sure they will take you out with them and show you all the places thats good to meet blokes. ... (read in full...)

Sexless in soldier heaven

Q.   my brother in law just came home from iraq and will do anything to get out of having sex with my sister. i don't know what to tell her.. can some one help. he was there for 15 months. all he does is invite friends to spend the night and tries to get ...

A.   25 January 2009: This is really hard to answer as im not really sure what the problem is as you have not said how long they have been married and if the relationship was ok before he went to Iraq. 15 months away in a very stressful country with a dangerouse job is g... (read in full...)

1st time sex with experienced guy I feel uncertain

Q.   im in love with an older guy but i am a virgin. im 20 and hes in his 40s, divorced with kids, his oldest is older than i am. im really scared about having sex with him. I heard that for your first time its better to go on top but im scared i could ...

A.   25 January 2009: He should be gentle with you and if he really loves you then he will wait until you are ready for this big commitment. Having sex with this guy moves your relationship on to another level and loosing your viginity to this guy is something you shou... (read in full...)

How do I meet women?

Q.   I don't know how to meet women. Well, I have been using EHarmony for a few months and it was great at first, but I do not get very many matches anymore and the ones that I do get are mostly inactive or non-subscribers. I would like to go to a club ...

A.   25 January 2009: Forget the bars, you dont really like them so dont relax when you are in them, if you feel like a fish out of water then thats what you will be. My advice is internet dating,you may want to join a few sites and there are some free ones now. The m... (read in full...)

How can I deal with not being able to see my long-distance lover??

Q.   Hi there, I got so stressed due to my long distance relationship. Hmm, both of us are High School students which is the most troublesome problem.. (he's in OH but i'm CA, we've met several times when we were in China, btw, we are Chinese.) Our t...

A.   25 January 2009: Long distance relationships are very very hard, sadly they very rarely work. My partner lives a long way from me but at least I speak to him daily and see him every other weekend. You dont even have this, he is being honest with you and telling ... (read in full...)

We have FWB relationship, I want more, he still has feelings for ex!

Q.   Hi Everyone! Iam so sad and disappointed at the moment and really dont know what to do. Please tell me what the best thing I have to do right now. I have been with a man for 4 months, I really had fun with him, and of course we had sex ( great...

A.   25 January 2009: I feel your pain but im going to have to be cruel and say "wake up" he sounds a lovely fella but I doubt he will ever fall in love with you, he just wants to be a big strong man for you to lean on and he wants sex but he does not want the commitment ... (read in full...)

Being naked in front of a man terrifies me....any advice??

Q.   Ive got a weird problem. Ive lost 5 stone in weight and im am a slim size 10. I do have a little excess skin on my tummy from the weight loss but the i seem to have a fat vagina. Its sticks out when i lie down like a mountain and when i stand up it ...

A.   25 January 2009: Well first of all let me congratulate you on your massive weight loss. Sometimes we focus on parts of our bodies and feel they are not right, normal etc and we beging to get obsessed with that part and most of the time it is just the same as ever... (read in full...)

He reeled me in never stating he has a girlfriend!

Q.   I think I've been tricked again and Im hurt, not knowing what to do. This guy I just met at school is great. We hit it off and are in two university classes together so I gave him my email. That weekend, he emailed me and I added him to my msn an...

A.   24 January 2009: Well maybe he likes you as a mate/friend, has he said anything to you to make you think he wants to date you? I suspect not if you go over everything he has said. He seems to like you and you get on very well, we can have non sexual relation... (read in full...)

RE: marriage--how do you know when enough is enough?

Q.   If you know your marriage is no longer working is it possible to continue living together, pretending everything's ok and just doing your own thing to make you happy?? When do you know enough is enough and it's really not working? I've spent years...

A.   24 January 2009: MY heart goes out to you as I was in a very similar situation nearly 2 years ago with my partner of 14 years, I kept on and on, and in the end he had an affair and I was upset by the affair but releaved that the relationship which was routine and ... (read in full...)

I don't think he wants me anymore

Q.   Ma bf has just told me tht this girl who he ust to fancy is talking to him. He said to me that he asked her owt ages ago and she sed no and she just sed she regrets it. Then he just asked me what would I say if he went and met her and i sed well a ...

A.   24 January 2009: Well the hardest thing to do would be to let him meet her and see what happens, chances are he will anyhow and then he is doing it behind your back. If I was you I would grab my pride with both hands and tell him to go and meet her but if he decides ... (read in full...)

He forced me to have sex with him and I feel such a wreck about that. But I love him and don't want to break up with him!

Q.   Well I have a boyfriend And I have been with him for 1 week. And The other Night , I was at his house and He kinda pressured me to have Sex with Him. Im 14 years old and I wasnt ready but He Forced me to do it. I dont feel right now and Im emotional ...

A.   4 May 2008: You need to not see him again and you need to tell a teacher, parent or someone else you can trust. What he did was very very wrong and it is against the law to force someone into sex, let alone someone your age, how old is he? You will need som... (read in full...)

What do you do after two break-ups and someone you love wants to try a third time?

Q.   what do you do when someone you love a lot breaks up with you twice to be with someone else and then wants to get back together?...

A.   4 May 2008: You tell them to go to hell, they had there chance twice and still mucked it up, tell them its over and dont look back, why would you want to be with someone who uses you in such an appalling way. You love her/him but they dont really love you or t... (read in full...)

Is her love just a lie?

Q.   I have been in a relationship for 4 years I have never loved anyone more. When we first saw each other it was an instant attraction, something you would read about in a fantasy. She was already in a relationship with someone and had a child wi...

A.   4 May 2008: OH dear, time for you to wake up and see this cheating woman for what and who she is. You met her amid lies, cheating and unfaithfullness and yet you expected her to change these traits for you, well she hasnt and never will. You ask if she love... (read in full...)

I had a sex-only relationship but now I want more. I'm lost. What should I do?

Q.   I have a sex only relationship wit this guy. I got the idea he didn't wanna be all serious so I told him we can just call each other for those reasons. Before I didn't wanna go to the movies or dinner wit him cause I just go out an relationship now ...

A.   4 May 2008: I agree with the other agony aunts, just tell him. He can only say yes/no but at least then you will know and if its a yes, well great you already know him intimatly so go and get to know all of him. But be careful, if you have decided that it ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want sex?

Q.   I know he loves me as he shows me in other ways. But getting him to kiss or have sex is very difficult. Ive tried lots of different things but nothing really works. He loves me I know that. HE said that sex was important in a relationship at the ...

A.   4 May 2008: Maybe he has a sexual problem, did he have sex with you in the beginning and what was it like, did he manage an errection, did he manage to cum or did he go soft, take forever to cum or not cum at all. Kissing oftern leads to sex or an expe... (read in full...)

He says he loves me very much but I got told that he cheated on me the night when my bestfriend died!

Q.   I need major help. I have been with my Boyfriend For 4 years. And well a few weeks ago I lost my bestfriend. He died by drowing. "theres a Reason for this". The day b4 he died he told my bf"Treat her right, She's a good Girl". He laughed. And well ...

A.   4 May 2008: Ok, reality check comming up, this bloke is a bully he is not in love with you at all, he is just using you and keeping you dangling. Did I read it right that he drugged you, if so run away from him fast this man is dangerouse and nasty and a lot ... (read in full...)

He's flirting with me, but is he really interested in me?

Q.   This guy I really like flirts with me, nothing explicit, just like smiling, staring and winking at me. However, I know he has a girlfriend. Not knowing his current situation with his girlfriend, they maybe on the verge of breaking up for ...

A.   26 April 2008: Flirting is good fun, to flirt or to be flirted at is in the main harmless and makes us feel special. But if he has a partner and is flirting with you then its not good as there is potential for harm to someone be it you or the partner. Now h... (read in full...)

Is it normal that I find it very relaxing to watch porn?

Q.   Is it normal that i find it very relaxing to watch porn?...

A.   26 April 2008: It is normal as LJ001 said, but I would not say its that relaxing, stimulating maybe!! When watching porn becomes a problem is when you cannot relax without watching it, or you watch a lot of it regularily, it stops you wanting or needing a girl... (read in full...)

I am 18 and he is 27 and we're in love. Could problems arise with this age difference between us?

Q.   Hello all, I recently got involved with a man a fair bit older than I. We both new that it was probably not a good idea, but we just fell in love. I am 18 and he is 27. He is very kind and polite, he does not rush me in anything. Are there proble...

A.   26 April 2008: Well the problems that may occur will be with your friends, his will be older and yours will be younger, you may not be able to get into clubs that he and his mates go too and both families may have some reservations. Im 45 and I look for part... (read in full...)

What will he think of my new hairdo?

Q.   I feel great!! Went to the hairdresser and got a new hairdo. I've always cut my hair in the past but just decided I wanted something different after all these years with the same look. Also, it's distracting me in a nice way from obsessing with my a...

A.   26 April 2008: He will think you look as fab as you do or he is blind lol... (read in full...)

My boyfriend left me for another girl when I was 7 months pregnant-now he's back and I can't cope!

Q.   My boyfriend left me for another girl when i was 7 months pregnant, because she was "kinky". He came back before the baby was born and has been with me since the birth. But I cant seem to let what he did go, and its destroying the relationship.And I ...

A.   25 April 2008: Ditch this dirty love rat, he is just not worth the heartach you have had and are likely to get again. He let you down badly at a time you needed his love, strength and support and then when he was bored with his "kinky" lady he turned to you, mayb... (read in full...)

Is my relationship over?

Q.   is my relationship over. my boyfriend went to sea for three months. in that time i got no letters a few email and a few minutes of phone calls. hes back and says things were weird to start with. i get no thanks for the tings i do for him. i ...

A.   25 April 2008: Right well if its not over it damn well needs to be, ditch this user, the term "our of sight, out of mind" springs to mind here. he uses you ruthlessly when he is home, but when he is away its "what girlfriend"!! Maybe when away it is difficul... (read in full...)

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