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*meedle agony aunt


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*meedle's profile:

51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.

I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.

I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help.

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Is my relationship over?

Q.   is my relationship over. my boyfriend went to sea for three months. in that time i got no letters a few email and a few minutes of phone calls. hes back and says things were weird to start with. i get no thanks for the tings i do for him. i ...

A.   25 April 2008: Right well if its not over it damn well needs to be, ditch this user, the term "our of sight, out of mind" springs to mind here. he uses you ruthlessly when he is home, but when he is away its "what girlfriend"!! Maybe when away it is difficul... (read in full...)

I didnt do anything,,,but try to be there?

Q.   so i waz going out with this guy, and we were really almost the same, and loved bieng around each other...but we lost it because he began talking to someone else. Now hes being completly mean to me????...

A.   25 April 2008: His loss, hold your head up high and move on, if he is that shallow that he thought there was better than you out there then let him go. You move on to better things.... (read in full...)

How do I know if she had sex with him before we married?

Q.   sir actaually i got married six months before.before to marriege my fiance told me one day that she was a relationship with a boy and they were only best friends not more then their relation is broke up. i was not having any problem on this ...

A.   25 April 2008: Truth, well you probably never will know if she had sex with this person before she married you. you could ask her to be honest with you but what if she does tell you the truth and it is that she had great sex with this bloke, what will that do to y... (read in full...)

How can I be friends with her again?

Q.   my friend found out I lied. She rejected me. Its been 2 months but she still will only barely say hi. I'm ripping apart Inside I need her friendship. Its really hard to talk because she avoids me. She's intelligent and doesnt does not want to be in ...

A.   25 April 2008: Reading between the lines it sounds like you were either her friend then boyfriend or you wanted to be. What ever has happened it is always hard to loose a close friend and to do it in such a way is to close a door tight. You could try and write to... (read in full...)

Does anyone else have a fantasy about being watched while having sex?

Q.   I have these fantasies of another man and\or woman watching me and my boyfriend making love, is this nonsense or is this a turn on for you as well?...

A.   25 April 2008: At some stage in our sexual life this has probably crossed most peoples minds, we start out on our sexual journey just getting straight sex as oftern as possible, then we slow down a bit and relax more, we may go steady or marry, we then start to ... (read in full...)

I want to be perfect, I want to feel secure!

Q.   I hate myself because: I'm clingy, moody, jealous, insecure, competitive, selfish, I don't trust people, I'm depressive, I'm weak, I have a very bad problem with anger, and because I feel ugly all the time, and not good enough. I have good qua...

A.   25 April 2008: Well im afraid im going to tell you what deep down you already know and im sure lots of people have told you before:- No one is perfect No one can be liked or loved all the time No one totally loves themselves. So what is wrong with you, well y... (read in full...)

How long does it take an ex to come back to you?

Q.   Hi, Have you ever been dumped and then your Ex can back? If so, how many weeks\months did they come back? Did you use any tactics or behave in a certain way for this to happen, such as No contact etc Any experiences appreciated thx...

A.   23 April 2008: You broke up for a reason, if the problem is still there then you should not even think of getting back together. Yes ex`s do come back but there is no time scale to this and yes there is a chance that she will realise what she has lost and want... (read in full...)

I'm living with a married man and I'm pregnant! He may be sleeping with his wife.

Q.   i need advise well frist let me tell you a little about the situation, i met this man at frist i really didnt know how old he was, im 20 and hes 35, he is now my boyfriend we have know eachother for about 4 months now and well i dont ev...

A.   23 April 2008: Well you said it, it is one of lifes lessons and not an easy one to learn. He is more than likely sleeping with her, he is defensive and this is a sure sign, trying to push the guilt onto you. You are in love with him so not strong were he is conce... (read in full...)

How can I overcome my nervousness when I talk to girls?

Q.   I'm 19 year old guy, i have real trouble asking girls out or even making a move and talking to them. I'm not insecure about my looks, i'm kinda nervous about akward silences or something, how can i get over it?...

A.   23 April 2008: Being a bloke is sometimes difficult as even in this day and age, women like the man to ask them out. Awkward silences will happen with anyone and at anytime, so dont worry about them. If you fancy a girl then try and get her on her own and say ... (read in full...)

This older man goes hot and cold on me! Now he's interested!

Q.   I am 22 and know this man who is 10 years older than me. We got to know each other through work. He was friendly toward me so I became fond of him. We got on well outside work too until last Christmas when he started going out with a woman. They ...

A.   23 April 2008: Sounds like you have moved on, he didnt want you at christmas and so you got over him and that is that. He now is alone and wants you again, dont be tempted he is just filling a gap. Not sure being friends is such a good idea but if that is what ... (read in full...)

He deleted me after he found out I was his next door neighbor! Do I just leave him alone?

Q.   dear cupid, i really like my next door neighbour and i have done for nearly a year now, last sunday i spoke to him for the first time on msn but he didnt know it was me and we were speaking for 4 hours and we swapped numbers then when he found out ...

A.   23 April 2008: My heart goes out to you, you like this guy and until he knew who you were, he seemed to like you. It maybe the age thing, it maybe because you live so close and he does not want his buisness to be so public, he may not want his family to know who ... (read in full...)

How am I supposed to have sex with someone who could be paralyzed from the waist down?!

Q.   okayy. my boyfriend went to the doctor like 2 days ago. They said a disk in his back was out of place and if he plays any sports or messes up his back in anyway he will become paralyzed (sp?)from the waist down. when he told me that i tryed to ...

A.   23 April 2008: Ok, first off this is his life, I can understand why he has gone to the game, he is still in the acceptance stage and so is kicking back and refusing to think about the if`s, but`s and mayby`s. He is young and so thinks he is infalable. You cann... (read in full...)

How do I turn down a guy I've been having an affair with? I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Q.   I had an affair with this guy and have managed to get over him. I haven't told him about this and he's still expecting some intimacy. How do I turn him down without hurting his feelings?...

A.   23 April 2008: Wish you had said which one of you was married as this makes the difference. Which ever way it is, it sounds like you will have to tell him bluntly it is over and suffer the consequenses. If you are the married one then you have to expect some kin... (read in full...)

What size penis does it take to satisfy a girl?

Q.   what size of penis can satisfy a Girl.? Mine is 4.5 Inches on full erection......

A.   23 April 2008: Well there is a saying "its not what you have its how you use it!!" to an extent this is true. I think that its not about how big or small you are its how you and your partner feel about each other. Until recently i didnt realise just how impo... (read in full...)

I think she likes him back and I get jealous! I'm planning on asking her out though.

Q.   I work with a girl and I really like her. She's finishing work in a few weeks though I've worked with her for about 8 months. When we started to get to know one another, she was really friendly and chatty. I would compliment her and she would ...

A.   23 April 2008: Right well its now or never time, you do right asking her for a drink, you need the answers and you need them fast. She is maybe giving off mixed signals or maybe you are reading mixed things, its hard to know as im sure you are finding with... (read in full...)

Am I too young to be bisexual?

Q.   Heya, im 12 years old. I just wanted to know... Am i too young to decide to be bi-sexual? Because i like watching lesbian porn and, i know it semi-normal at my age to feel like this but as i said, do you guys think im too young to decide to be bi? ...

A.   23 April 2008: Good grief, you are too young to be watching this type of stuff let alone deciding on your sexuality. Slow down, just be yourself without questions like that, plenty of time to think about your sexual prefferences when you are older, who knows what... (read in full...)

Was this sex? I'm a virgin and I'm not sure what to think of this or how to move past it!

Q.   I am a guy 24 yrs old and not had sex as yet.I had a aunty in relation whom I am open with. I share every problem with her .I went to a party a wedding in her relation. I was tense those days regarding my job and regarding my girlfriend. i told her...

A.   23 April 2008: Hiya Well can see how you have become confussed, but like the previouse two replies you have definatly not had sex, she was obviously turned on by you and the drink, she wanted to arouse you and so played with you, you went to sleep and she did too,... (read in full...)

Very self conscious about my big breats. Any natural method for breast reduction?

Q.   Hi, I feel really self concious about my boobs, I'm 15 and I'm size 34DD. Is this too big?? Iv tried eating less and exercising more to loose some weight off them and haven't really lost anything only 6 pounds... Should I get a Brea...

A.   24 December 2007: Hi Sweetheart, Good god, you are perfect, you have what lots of women pay good money for and i bet you are beautiful, i bet your bloke thinks you are the sexiest girl he has ever met. Loosing weight is not good as it may make your breasts smaller ... (read in full...)

There are times when I think I'm too clingy, and not because of jealosy. I just love him very much. What can I do?

Q.   i am 19 years old i'm in a relationship.i love my boyfriend very much i believe he's the one.we've been together about 9 months in march it would be a year!there is times where i think i'm too clingy.i'm not jealouse it's just that i love him very ...

A.   24 December 2007: Hiya. So why do you think that you are too clingy, you feel you are in love with him and that is good, he may not be the one but at the moment and possibly forever he is "the one" so what is it that you do that makes you clingy? Does he have a l... (read in full...)

Loved but abused?

Q.   Hi. Please can someone help? I have been with my partner for nearly a year now. I am his first love and his first proper girlfriend. I also live with him and his mum. (She is hardly ever there though) He is a friend of my younger brother (my b.fd...

A.   2 September 2007: get rid off this man now. Let me tell you this is not love and never will be. How have you got yourself to this stage? Can you remember before you were in this situation......because I am sure you were actually happier and would not have accepted ... (read in full...)

He says the spark is gone. What can I do?

Q.   My boyfriend and i are going through a hard time right now because he says the spark has gone..We've been together for 2 years now and we're great, we have the same sense of humor and have awesome chemistry but right now its just awkward..We are ...

A.   2 September 2007: Let this man go and move on, he your relationship is clearly over and it is time for you to move on and let each other find other people, if you are meant to be together then you will be. ... (read in full...)

We're on the verge of breaking up. My girlfriend has said she's not happy. Can I still fix this?

Q.   I think i might be on the verge of a breakup. my girlfriend recently told me that she is very unhappy about some things and the she is reconsidering the relationship. weve been together for two years and i love her more than anything in the world. ...

A.   31 August 2007: Maybe you can fix it but if the issues are old ones and they are due to your behaviour or you, well maybe you should have fixed them when they first came to light. Sounds like you need to do as much thinking as she is, and then you both need to sit ... (read in full...)

Was getting back with my ex, Now I'm panicking cuz he's not txt and his phone's off???

Q.   was going out with my bf for a year. we broke up and i never made a secret of how i wanted to get back together. last weekend he said he felt the same and would like to get together soon, my prob is im a worrier really badly and haven't heard from...

A.   31 August 2007: Relax, it maybe his batterie, no credit etc. I am like you and I too worry, it is an insecurity issue that for 30 years I have been battling with, you need to look on the brighter side, he would not have said it if he did not mean it. Does he have ... (read in full...)

I'm 14 and the 22 year old guy I met online wants to meet me!

Q.   I met this boy over a chat room started talking but the problem is hes 22 im only 14 i know hes not an old man or anything becasue he sent me a picture with my name on i told him first that i thought he was a fake but now i know hes not. He wants ...

A.   31 August 2007: Don`t do it, he is not a boy he is a man and there is a big age difference, a bloke his age should not be looking for girls 14yrs. Just because his pic looks real it still may not be, I work with sex offenders and they can make pictures look real... (read in full...)

Things started to go bad after he found out I was working as a prostitute...

Q.   Hi.. I was in a relationship with this guy for 2 years and we were also engaged....He found out that i was working as a prostitute and he was so angry and after some time he said he forgave me..Everything seemed like it was fine and we even went awa...

A.   31 August 2007: Oh dear, you are in a relationship that is not ever going to be equal or work. He is treating you badly now and is in effect treating you like a prostitute, you are there for sex with him when and if he wants it and to pay you he compliments you and ... (read in full...)

Our friend is a liar, and a self harmer and we are at the end of our tether! Please advise..

Q.   okay how can i put this, well one of my best friends is, lets say an attention seeker, but its getting quite serious she makes up stuff fo attention and now belives it herself. She used to self harm really badly but we got her to go an see a coun...

A.   28 August 2007: Im sorry to say this but you now need to distance yourself from your friend, she needs more help than you or your friends can give and if you dont start distancing yourselves she will cause one or all of you some seriouse mental anxiety. She is very... (read in full...)

I'm 28 and a virgin. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't wait for someone special?

Q.   Hi, I´m a 28 yrs old female virgin too (seems that are a lot of us around here). In my case, it havent´t happened for lack of opportunity. I´ve been always been too "right". With my first boyfriend, when I was about to do, he dumped me. Then nev...

A.   28 August 2007: You are right when you say that more and more women are choosing to stay virgins until the wedding day, this maybe because of the ammount of STD`s around or the heightened awareness of these, im not sure but it is a lot of pressure to remain a ... (read in full...)

My boyfriends little girl sees me as a threat. I dont want to come between her and her dad. Any advice please?

Q.   My boyfriend of 2 years has a 7 years old daughter. She is from his previous marriage that his wife ran off with another guy. The daughter is now living with the mom who just had a new born baby. I’m in good relationship with my boyfriend’s ...

A.   28 August 2007: She trusted you with her feelings, she did not do this to make you break up, she is far too young to know what you are thinking and in her world she told you because it was how she felt at that time. She must like you or she would not have open... (read in full...)

I fell over whilst out and have done damage to my leg. Should I be worried about it?

Q.   I was out on friday, and fell over while walking i got two seperate cuts on my leg one being worse than the other. it feel on a sharp object and got two puncture marks. i left it and came home. It is now tuesday, my knee has swollen up, the veins ar...

A.   28 August 2007: I echo the other agony aunts. go get it seen to.... (read in full...)

Is a £95 necklace enough or too much for my girlfriends birthday?

Q.   Hey .. i was just wondreing.. its my gf birthday a few days after our 6 month...and i got her a £95 white gold heart you think thats too much or too little (or just right lol).. thank you :):)...

A.   27 August 2007: That is perfect, you are a good and thoughtful boyfriend and many a girl would love that kind of present. ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for boys to stare at other girls while out with their fiancees?

Q.   Is it normal for guys to stare at girls while out with their fiancees? I understand that looking or glancing at someone of the opposite sex once in a while is natural, but my fiance just stares at girl for more than a few seconds while he is right ...

A.   27 August 2007: Sadly most men do this and most of the time they do it sub-conciously. It is not right and it feels so very wrong to us but I have learnt that they do it and that is that. Do tell him he is doing it and do ask him to stop, this way he knows yo... (read in full...)

I was abused as a child. Am i still a virgin?

Q.   hi guys pleas help me! im not sure if im a virgin when i was a little girl a guy of my age did touch me alot of time. i think it happened once that he did put his finger in me. now today im 21 and i have a bf i dont want to have sex no. i want to ...

A.   27 August 2007: Worry not, im sure you are still a virgin. Abuse is an awful thing and leaves us with all sorts of worries and fears and issues, good for you that you have started looking to the future with a bloke and that you are waiting until marriage to have... (read in full...)

I'm 45, attractive, recently lost my job and feel like I've had the life sucked out of me. Can anyone help?

Q.   I am a professional 45 yr old attractive female - I recently lost my job and I am unhappy - I feel like all the life has been sucked out of me - I want to feel alive again I don't even want to get out of bed Please help me ...

A.   27 August 2007: I got made redundant two years ago from a job as a manager for a big housing association, I loved the job and had been with them 22 years, I did see myself retiring from this post. I felt as if I had suffered a bereavment and in effect that is what... (read in full...)

Ive just started dating the girl of my dreams but I'm feeling depressed??? Why can this be?

Q.   I need some help. Ive finally started dating the girl of my dreams after 6 months of waiting and for the first time in my life im extremely happy, i feel better than i ever have before... but theres a problem, for the last week or so i've been unus...

A.   27 August 2007: My guess is that you are feeling the rollercoaster of emotions we all start to feel when we have a new person in out life, you feel happy you are with them but worry that they wont like you in the same way or that things will go wrong or that you ... (read in full...)

We broke up a week ago and he's now ignoring me. I'm hurting. How should i respond?

Q.   My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago and he said we would maintain a friendship. I have sent him a couple of emails about routine things and he is not responding. I do not know if I am more hurt by the breakup or by the way he has cut me ...

A.   27 August 2007: Oftern when people break up they say they will remain friends as they feel this softens the blow of the deed. I would try and move on now as he is doing, you are new in break up world and time is only healer, wishing he will contact you is just prol... (read in full...)

Does he only like me as a friend?

Q.   I've been working in the same place for almost a year, a month and a half ago while hangging out, i realice i was interested in a guy and by a collegue we start chatting at work and home, seing each other. Now im really into him but i don't know ...

A.   27 August 2007: Best and most foolproof way is to ask him out for a drink, say you enjoy his company and would like to go for a drink sometime with him if he would like that, or even better invite him to a party or something you are doing with friends. You will... (read in full...)

I love this woman that has 3 children. My family think I'm making a mistake. What should i do?

Q.   I have been divorced for a little under 1 year, i have no kids of my own. Now i am falling in love with a woman with 3 kids and my family thinks that i am making a mistake........ i really love this woman. wht should i do?...

A.   27 August 2007: To hell with what your family thinks, if this woman loves you back or has some strong feelings for you then go for it. It is your life and your life to make mistakes or find happiness, who knows what the future brings. Just because she has kids sho... (read in full...)

If i give in to anal sex, will he want it all the time?

Q.   If I give in to anal will he want it all the time? He drives me wild but our last time he placed his hands around my neck i came big time. Now he scares me. Is he curious or trying to warn me? ...

A.   26 August 2007: Im concerned about what you have written and it is not abot giving into anal sex, it is about the hands around your neck bit that scares me as i believe it does you. He has no right to place his hands in a threatening manner around your neck and ... (read in full...)

Any advice on painless anal sex.

Q.   How can it not hurt so much? My boyfriend and I have tried to do anal and it hurts alot. He really wants to do it cause he has never done it before but how or what can we do to not have it hurt so much. He gets it in a little way and then it starts ...

A.   23 August 2007: I tried this recently and it hurt so decided if it hurts then it aint right for me!! If in doubt, keep it out! Sex is not about being in pain and if you not keen then just say no.... (read in full...)

My weight gets in the way of his feelings.

Q.   Hello! I am 29 years old and 6 months earlier i met someone online. We fell for each other, we exchanged photos etc.I finally went to meet him. In the meantime I had put on weight due to health problems mostly. He had told me he never liked ...

A.   23 August 2007: Get a grip, ditch this looser, he is not worthy of your feelings. It is the person inside not the packaging, what if you had been involved in an accident and were disfigured etc, would he go off you then. This man is fickle and so up himself,... (read in full...)

My house is getting too crowded and now my bf wants his son to move in!

Q.   well, its like this. I moved to a smaller unit with 2 b/r on my own after a divorce. I was moving on in my life and started a new job etc. A few months later I met bf, he moved in, his dog moved in. A while later my 16 year old moved in from his ...

A.   23 August 2007: Ask your self honestly if you would rather they all move out. I dont think you are happy with a crowded house and even a move would not make you happy and this is nothing to be ashamed of. You just moved in bloke before you had "me" time as a goo... (read in full...)

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