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*meedle agony aunt


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*meedle's profile:

51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.

I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.

I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help.

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What are the men looking for in a woman to grow old with?

Q.   This is a question to the men. What are you really looking for in a woman?. I am talking about the woman you want to settle down with and grow old with. Please be honest....

A.   6 June 2006: Martini the order for your perfect woman has gone into the perfect woman shop, she will be available for you to collect a week on monday, unfortunatly she comes at a price but the price does includes patches!! and she is programmed to never say NO ... (read in full...)

A friend's uncouth behaviour is making me uncomfortable!

Q.   I have a bizarre situation on my hands. I have a 4 year old boy who started nursery school last September. While walking to school on the first day we bumped into another mother and her little boy also walking to school. In an effort to make ...

A.   6 June 2006: What a tricky situation, at first I felt sorry for the woman you were portraying, but now I think that she is weird, to ask you to join her and her husband in a three some, well that is just not the done thing. You could try walking another way to s... (read in full...)

My period's gone irregular in the last 4 months. Why?

Q.   Hi I'm 14 years old and really worried. I started my periods when I was 12 and I got into a routine where I came on on the 6th or 7th of every month, but I have not been on for 4 months. Is this normal? Hope I get replies. Thanx ox...

A.   5 June 2006: It is normal at your age so not to worry, if you have had sex you may need to worry that you could be pregnant.... (read in full...)

He treats me badly, then sweet talks me back into his life, only to abandon me again!

Q.   I really like this guy who I was with for well over a year, but he treated me really bad with the things he said and did, like he has no respect for me. He is my first so I love he so much and when I know he's treating me badly I leave him, but he ...

A.   5 June 2006: Give him a wide berth and learn to live without him, he is a looser and you need someone who will treat you with respect and be a partner not just a user.... (read in full...)

Pressure to have sex, but I'm not comfortable with it!

Q.   My boyfriend wants me to have sex with him. I've done it before but I don't feel comfortable with him. What should I do?...

A.   5 June 2006: Dont do it, you do not ever have to do anything with anyone that makes you unhappy or un-comfortable.... (read in full...)

They say they lie to protect you....why?

Q.   What does it mean when a loved one says that they lied to you protect you? In situation does this really show any real sign of caring?...

A.   5 June 2006: Depends on the situation, frankly I dont think there are many times when someone is genuine when they say they lie to protect you, it is like when I was a little girl and I had a pet lamb, one day my lamb dissapeared and I was told that he had gone ... (read in full...)

He'd rather have a one night stand than have sex with me

Q.   My boyfriend is not interested in sex with me. I feel like I'm constantly pressuring him into it all the time, then I don't enjoy it, but I have a really high sex drive!!! I'm 19 and he's 28. This causes more problems because he's had so many one ...

A.   5 June 2006: Wake up, he does not love you, he is better as history. I am pressuming that he had the one night stands before he met you, if he has been having them whilst with you then why is he not history now. If they were before you then that is in the past... (read in full...)

How can I tell if, he is just be a rebound?

Q.   I was just wondering if you guys think I'm on the rebound. I think I might be as I broke up with my b/f a few months back and still miss him and think about him A LOT. But this new guy has been messaging me, we have been out on one date and tonight ...

A.   5 June 2006: Go for it, you like him, he likes you and do you really want to miss out on this lovely bloke for feelings that may or may not be rebound. Who is to know if you are ready or not just go for it and deal with any issues as they come along. Just ... (read in full...)

Why would she tell her kids that we're not going to be with each other anymore?

Q.   I just gave my ex a letter that expressed exactly how i feel about her. I put the definition of love and other definitions of the word and then i said no matter how you define it this is exactly how i feel for you. she called me and said that she ...

A.   5 June 2006: Because you are an ex and she feels her kids need to know what the situation is and it is just that, she has not started seeing you again and if she does it maybe that it is a less intense relationship which it sounds like for her would be better. I... (read in full...)

My husband has got someone pregnant

Q.   I have been separated for 11 months. My husband got someone pregnant. He is unsure what to do. He says he has a strong connection with her. Do you have advice for me or him...

A.   3 June 2006: Stay seperated and do not be tempted back into this guy`s bed. Advice for him is to learn about contraception and to support baby and mother.... (read in full...)

I love my boyfriend but I slept in another guy's bed

Q.   i love my boyfriend but recently things havnt been great, i ended up sleeping in another guys bed and kissing him.we like each other, but hes not single. should i tell my boyfriend? i know it may end things and i dont want that..all that happened ...

A.   3 June 2006: Well sadly it is human nature to want to be fancied and loved and when things have not gone right with your bloke you went to the arms of another man for comfort, your concience will tell you if this was right or not. Yes you only kissed but did ... (read in full...)

She is unable to be faithful but I love her

Q.   i am seriously in turmoil.i am having an affair with a married woman who is beautiful,sexy,fun and a fantastic lover.she said she wants to be with me,the question is not whether she would or not.the question is trust on my part,as she has shown some ...

A.   3 June 2006: Choices to be made here, you will not change her and this you already know, so either decide to put up with her behaviour and except it and realise you may always just be her "affair" and lets be honest here, she is cheating on husband and so she ... (read in full...)

I got pregnant but I had sex with two guys

Q.   i have a question i had my last period the 8th of january to the 14th . I broke up with my ex january 8 and then got pregnant in january the doctor said but my ultrasound is exaclty 2 weeks off the doctor said thats ok i keep on worrying cause i had ...

A.   3 June 2006: Difficult one to answer, it is possible but more probable that your ex is the father. ... (read in full...)

It makes me feel like crap everytime he talks about her

Q.   hi, well when boyfreind and i were talking on teh phone and he told me that he was wipped by his ex and not me. he also once told me that she gave him everything i could not. this made me feel like crap i mean does that mean he would get bak with ...

A.   2 June 2006: Either do`nt talk about her and make her a banned topic or move on out and leave him to hero worship her in peace, because that is what he is doing, some comparrison with ex`s is normal but should not be voiced with new partner, he is just not over ... (read in full...)

Emotional Cheating but it is just as tough to deal with

Q.   Hi, my bf and i have been dating about 2 and a half years, i am 20 and his 25 years old. the problem is about 7 months ago i found out he was emotional cheating with another female, he says they were just friends but there was an obvous attraction, ...

A.   2 June 2006: Bite the bullet and ask him, so what if it causes a fight it is better that than you sitting around worried. You are much more tolerant than I would be in your situation and to your credit you have given him another chance, so ask him and be done... (read in full...)

Should I follow my dream man overseas?

Q.   Hey, i have already posted a few times about my boyfriend going on a working holiday overseas and not being sure if he wants me to joining yet. Well, the time finally came and I said goodbye to him at the airport the other day- it was so sad, and i ...

A.   2 June 2006: Start saving, im sure if he wants you to join him he will also help out with your air fair etc. ... (read in full...)

Best friend and I both like the same girl.. Whats the best option??

Q.   me and my best friend are in love with same girl what should i do? ...

A.   2 June 2006: Oh dear what a dilema, well both of you should forget her, you are best mates and best mates should stick together as girls will come and go, one of you dating her will just not work. Talk to your mate and tell him what I have said and ask him to f... (read in full...)

We flirted, he bought me drinks, we danced, we texted, but does he like me?

Q.   Hi there.... ive met a guy who is in the army... wen i met him i think we flirted, nothin really happened, he paid for me to get in the club, he bought me drinks, he danced distantly with me and we've shared the odd txt msg since! How do i know he ...

A.   2 June 2006: Why do you not want to ask him? You could try text him and saying that you really enjoyed his company the other night and would like to do it again, think about a time, day and venue and maybe meet for drinks first in a pub before you go to a club... (read in full...)

I don't want to split with my BF but I have a big crush on a different lad

Q.   hi i am fourteen year old girl that has a really reall big crush on a 16 year old boy whilst going out with a 17 year old bot it is so confusing but i dont know wat to do. i really like ths lad but i dont want me and my boyfriend to split every time ...

A.   2 June 2006: Finish with current boyfriend and start seeing new fella, you are at the early stages of dating and so being tied down is not a good idea, if you like this lad then do something about it.... (read in full...)

Scared of dating - what should I do?

Q.   After breaking up with my partner of several years about a year ago I am now dating different people which is what I would tell a friend to do in the same situation. I am just hoping to get out and have some fun at this point in time and I am happy...

A.   2 June 2006: Relax and dont think about it so much you really will know when you meet someone that is right for you and things will just naturall progress there will be no thinking about how long shall I date for etc. Relax and enjoy your self, time is a grea... (read in full...)

Why is the sex bad?

Q.   I just can't have good sex. I have had two partners in my lifetime and with both, the penis can't stay inside of me. I don't know if this is normal. If someone can tell me what's going on, it would be great....

A.   2 June 2006: Maybe because you are not fully relaxed and turned on your vaginal muscles push him out, try and use lubricant and get really turned on with loads of foreplay before hand and then relax and just enjoy it. If this does not help then maybe you need... (read in full...)

I feel this relationship is all one sided and she may be just using me....I need advice please...

Q.   I feel my GF is not completly in the relationship. I feel it is one-sided. I constantly help her out financially and work on her house fixing it up. When we are together she says she needs her space and is most comfortable sitting at least 6 feet ...

A.   1 June 2006: We all show affection in different ways, she is obviously not a very "close" person and for her that is ok, for you it is not. You sound like you like your girlfriends to be close to you and you are probably a very tactile and loving person so this... (read in full...)

I don't want to lose him in case I don't find someone else, but he's so mean!

Q.   My boyfriend has been acting very angry and unfair with me lately, like saying he isn't sure he loves me anymore after he misunderstands something I say that should be a simple talk and not make him feel bad at all. This is the second time he has ...

A.   1 June 2006: Being single is a scarey prospect when you are just leaving or recently out of a relationship, it takes adjustment even if the relationship has ended for good reason and is better over. Most of us are social people who want and need company, re-a... (read in full...)

It was too much work to stay together, but I want him back!

Q.   My ex and I went out for almost a year and a half. For the first year or so everything was great, but the last few months were awful, we argued all the time and rarely got on well. Because I started uni about 9 months into our relationship I ...

A.   1 June 2006: He has decided to bail on the relationship as you are deemed "too high maintenance" when the going got tough he got going!! Stop blamming your self for all the problems with the relationship, just accept that he wanted out and thats it. Move ... (read in full...)

I thought she was a lesbian, shes says she isnt, I really fancy her and want it to be more than friends..

Q.   I really like this girl that i know, unfortunately we are both girls. I heard these rumours that she was a lesbian and got my hopes up that she might wanna b with me, but then she said she wasn't. Recently she's been makin jokes, sayin that i was a ...

A.   1 June 2006: Sounds to me like both of you are not sure of your sexuality and the idea of being with each other is nice but neither of you are ready to make the first commited move. When we are young we try different things with different people and some... (read in full...)

I broke up with my GF 2 weeks ago, shes now playing mind games! What gives ?

Q.   Two weeks ago my GF and I broke it off. We been together for a 1.5 years. And I pushed her away at the end of our relationship because she had no time for me, only coming out to see me if she had something she had to do around my area, like dance ...

A.   1 June 2006: She really is playing you, you need to tell her to stop ringing you or you will change your number, she is not interested and only wants you because there is no one else around and because she can, she will get a kick out of waking you up and ... (read in full...)

I sent a lad an email telling him I like him, what next?

Q.   right i have liked this lad for a while now and last night my mate help me write an email telling him my true feelings, now at this time we thought he was going out with another girl, so i sent it but then i made a plan up incase it backfired so i ...

A.   1 June 2006: You made the move, he reciprocated and now ball is yet again in your court, go for it and ask him out, he obviously likes you, just try and make sure his girlfriend really is an ex.... (read in full...)

I found pictures of ladies on my husbands phone!

Q.   What should i do? I found pictures of other women on my husbands phone, when i confronted him he said that his work mates had sent them to him. He promised not to receive any more of them.I now know that he has a seperate phone that he hides aw...

A.   1 June 2006: If he is not doing anything then why does he have a hidden phone, sounds to me like furtive behaviour, my friends have jokes and sometimes pictures sent to them on mobile phones but they are very obviouse not someone they know as the girl is usually ... (read in full...)

I want other people to like my boyfriend!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together ages now, and are/were deeply in love. However, in the last week things began to change. I discovered that he has people after him, that hate him... they write nasty stuff everywhere about him, and all of it is ...

A.   1 June 2006: Why do these people hate him so much, there must be a reason and maybe deep down you feel that what they are saying is not all lies and this is what is worrying you. Sounds to me like you are not as deeply in love as you first thought and maybe need... (read in full...)

What shall I do about my relationship? (long post)

Q.   Hello! I have been lurking around reading questions and answers for some time now, looking for an answer to my problem. I do realize, however, that every situation is different and should be treated as such. Having said that, I have a question,...

A.   1 June 2006: Read your own question, the answers to what you will do are there, you know what you want to do, it is just your heart and head have not yet reached the same conclusion. If you did not have VD then you would have finished it and moved on, unfo... (read in full...)

How can I stop being so paranoid, when my partner goes out without me ?

Q.   Hello Everyone I am in a good relationship (gay) my partner gives me no reason not to trust him and its the same for him with me.However i do trust him but at the same time when he goes out without me for a night out i cant help but get paranoid...

A.   1 June 2006: Yep it is very normal, and there are not that many people if they are honest that do not have some feelings of insecurity when there partners are away from them, especially if they are away with mates. Only time and increasing levels of trust will... (read in full...)

This guy at my girlfriends work is trying it on with her...

Q.   Ok, my girlfriend brought up this guy thats been visiting her at work recently. I guess he comes by every once in a while, and it seems like every time he stays for longer. Like until after the store closes, which got her in trouble with a manager. ...

A.   1 June 2006: Wow he is a scarey creep, I worked with sex offenders for over 20 years and they oftern find jobs that will bring them close to the victims but they would be in a "respectable" position and oftern one of trust, so the victims and there parents would ... (read in full...)

Does this guy want a relationship? Or was it just a laugh!

Q.   Hi, i have been having some work done on my home by my landlord, a few months ago his friend came with him, we chatted and got on well, then i didnt see him for a few months as he has children he sees regulary. last weekend he came with my landlord ...

A.   1 June 2006: Sounds good to me, just make sure he does not have a partner, if not then go for it, ask your landlord if he is single and ask were he drinks etc, if you are really brave you could pass on your number and ask him to phone or text. Nothing wrong with... (read in full...)

I fancy my flat mate but I think I have blown it!

Q.   I have been friends with a guy who is my housemate. i have had feelings for him for a while but i am not sure how he feels about me. last night i drank too much and ended up phoning him and saying that i wanted to talk to him about something, making ...

A.   1 June 2006: Maybe he was shocked and needs to work through if he has relationship feelings for you or just friendship. Give him time but not too long and text him again saying that you realise you came on strong but felt you had to tell him, having done that... (read in full...)

She started out as a hot lover, now shes not interested at all, is it too late to get it back ?

Q.   I wrote earlier today about the not so steady decline of sex in my relationship. The advice was sound in most cases, but not mine. I am very romantic and very patient, I have tried to speak with her first before seeking outside help. I have tried so ...

A.   1 June 2006: Sounds like you have put in as much effort as you can and still not getting enough sexual satisfaction so it is time to cut your losses and say goodbye you are not sexually compatable and that is that, you are young and for you sex is a big part of ... (read in full...)

I tried checking out if he was cheating, by faking email accounts, I cant tell him, but was all this wrong to find out if he was cheating ?

Q.   I thought my guy was cheating. I found all kinds of things from the internet, phone text messeges and porn sites, and sites like xuqa that plainly have things that will make me suspect him of cheating. I cried alot over this and have told him abo...

A.   1 June 2006: I cannot put my hand on my heart and say that I have not or would not do the same, unfortunatly you felt you could not trust him and things he had done led you to these conclusions and your curiosity did the rest. My word of warning to you is that... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is leaving for the army soon

Q.   wot do you do if the man you are with is breaking your heart but it hurts just as much not to be with him? here is the story, im 18 and my bf (20) of over 2years joined the army on monday and it is killing me, ive tried keeping myself busy but it i...

A.   1 June 2006: You really must get a grip on this as he is away and doing a job, it is his career and one that you should be supporting him with, you do not want him to feel that he is making you so miserable that he cannot concerntrate or feels he needs to give ... (read in full...)

I am having cybersex with my boyfriend but I don't know what to say!

Q.   i m boyfriend and i dont really have sex as we are not at the same country.or this is not the time to do so.but still when we chat in the net,he asks me what will i do to make him more romantic and to love him more.both of us starts from head ...

A.   1 June 2006: If you are comfortable with this then go for it, if you are still a virgin then you may need to watch some explicit or educational DVD`s or read some books or just read teen mags, this will give you ideas. Word of caution is that you dont know who ... (read in full...)

Could I be pregnant?

Q.   i haven't had sex with my boyfriend for 2weeks now cause he works away, but i forgot the pill when we did on many occasions, i have started feeling very light headed, but i had a period just last week, but i dont know whether it was a period because ...

A.   1 June 2006: Do a pregnancy test as soon as possible, yes it is possible you could be pregnant.... (read in full...)

i love him but i want someone else

Q.   hi, i think i want to break up with my boyfriend,gary, but i just dont know how or when? we have been together for 3 1/2 yrs. we split breifly after two years as we both agreed it wasn't working,we were constantly arguing and sex was virtually non ...

A.   31 May 2006: What was wrong with the relationship in the first instance was not worked through and so nothing has changed, you split and then got back together with the same issues still there. You need to finish both relationships and give yourself some thin... (read in full...)

We've been married for 3 years, living together for 13, hes cheated since we got married, and is still in contact, how can I make him give her up ?

Q.   my husband of 3 years, living together for 13 years has had an affair since we got married. Now he says that he wants me and loves me but can't get his lover out of his head and don't know what to do. he promises me every week that he won't text her ...

A.   31 May 2006: You cannot stop this and quite frankly you should not waste your time trying, he is not worth it. He may still be seeing her and even if he is not you can be sure he is thinking of it, even texting her when he knows it upsets you is a betr... (read in full...)

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