Like what
she writes?
... Add *meedle to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *meedle a private message | | | *meedle's profile:51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.
I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.
I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help. |
|
In need of a hug and some good advice... We're taking "time off".
Q. Hello all, I'm in need of a hug and some good advice. I have been in a year and a half relationship and recently we broke up. Well, time off for a month. Does time off really happen? Or does it translate into 'let's break up'? We broke up rat...
A. 23 March 2006: Well done on the job offer, this will boost your already growing confidence and will give you some much needed distance from your ex.
You are already so much stronger, this I can tell from what you wrote first time and what you wrote this time... (read in full...)
I'm in love with her....but we're friends!
Q. I am in love with a girl I am good friends with her so I don't want to say anything just in case it spoils our friendship! What should I do?...
A. 15 March 2006: You have two choices, tell her and risk the friendship but maybe replace it with a better more intimate one, or not tell her and watch her date other guys which will really hurt and consume you with jealousy.
The choice is yours!!... (read in full...)
I'm falling for a guy that has a pregnant girlfriend. HELP!
Q. i am having a relationship with a guy whose in a relationship and his girlfriend is 5 months pregnant. we are both 30 something and educated people, but i cant help it. he is so what i am looking for after a 7 year sham of a relationship what shall ...
A. 15 March 2006: You are playing with fire and what you are doing is not very nice but you are not all to blame as it takes two tango.
The bloke you are seeing is a rat, he is in a relationship with a woman who loves him enough to have a baby with him, he is slee... (read in full...)
He wants to rush things, but I don't. What should I do?
Q. hi, i have been with my fiance for 3 years, and recently he has given me an ultimatum. if i dont move in with him and out of my parents then he will finish with me. I had to say no because i am a student at university (im 21) and i have no income ...
A. 15 March 2006: He is feeling old and is scared that you are going to leave him, you are having fun at uni and he is left at home thinking about what you may or may not be up to.
He is very unreasonable to expect you to move in and marry him, this is controll... (read in full...)
My bf's in the hospital, should I stay or go on with my life?
Q. my boyfriend of 9 years who is 13 years older has been in the hospital for 2 months and will be in longer. How do I rationalize staying with him or moving on? ...
A. 15 March 2006: Not sure what you mean, why are you thinking of moving out and leaving this man in his hour of need.
You have not given enough info so I will have to assume that you are not prepared to look after him when he comes out of hospital, please let me k... (read in full...)
I've met someone else, how do I leave my current boyfriend?
Q. I am living with my boyfriend of six years and i am only with him for the sake of our 3 year old son. i am not in love with my boyfriend. recently i met a lovely man and hes everything my current boyfriend isnt. i want to leave my boyfriend and i ...
A. 14 March 2006: You really do need to tell him that you are leaving, there is no easy way as what you have to say will surely break his heart, but you must do it and soon as what you are doing with this new bloke is wrong while you are still with your partner.
I... (read in full...)
Why does it seem impossible for me to find someone?
Q. I am fast approaching my 40th birthday and at this age will i be still taken seriously as a potential partner. I have not had a relationship either short or long term for over 8 years after a break up of a long term relationship. I did put on a lot ...
A. 14 March 2006: 40 is no age at all, im 43 this year and if I thought I was over the hill with blokes then I would be seriously depressed.
You have a lot going for you but have just not yet found the girl of your dreams but trust me she is out there and with pati... (read in full...)
He can't say either way if we should break uo-what does this mean?
Q. Dear Cupid, If My Boyfriend says he loves me, but he can't say either way that he wants to split up with me and he has asked to give him three weeks to decide what he wants, does this mean its the end or have I got hope? ...
A. 14 March 2006: You need to ask him what went wrong with the relationship, you cannot just wait around for three weeks for this man to decide your fate.
If he does have a problem with sex there is help out there for him, and you can try and spice up the bedr... (read in full...)
He's cheated on me with SEVEN other women!!! Is he worth it?
Q. i have been with my man 5 years hes cheated on me with seven other women and his only defense is that i flirted with his friend when we'd only been together a week ,i am trying to forgive him but is he really worth the upset as we have two children ...
A. 14 March 2006: I am surprised you have put up with him this long, for gods sake kick this cheating love rat out of your life, the kids and you will be better off without him.
You know that his blaming you is so wrong and it is just his way of trying to excuse h... (read in full...)
He was cheating on me with the girl next door!
Q. Hi there i've been involved with this guy for 7 years now, we were so in love and we were both committed to each other. last year i found out hew as cheating on me with a girl from next door, he says it was just plan sex , he doesn't love her,i ...
A. 14 March 2006: What a mess, you did to him what he did to you and it has all got out of hand.
there may be a chance for the relationship but my opinion is that you both need to finish it once and for all.
There is now no trust, no respect and very little in the w... (read in full...)
Found pictures of his ex.... why is he keeping them?
Q. I've been married for a year and a half. Today I was looking for some bank info and stumbled across naked photos of my husband's ex-girlfriend. I know they are old, but why is he keeping them? The worst part is, she's a lot more attractive than ...
A. 14 March 2006: I used to have loads of photos of ex boyfriends and yes some of them were naked, since moving I found them again and destroyed them, I just dont have the room for them or the need for them.
Some of them were over 20 years old and I had forgot I had ... (read in full...)
I think I have outgrown my family, PLEASE HELP!
Q. Dear Cupid, Hi, I'm a 22yr old male, and I'm a metrosexual,always well groomed, well dressed, look after myself, work hard, and am capable of many things. I'm also secretly struggling with my sexuality, and I'm trying to hide it, but I really am...
A. 14 March 2006: Cut the apron strings and move out, you are 22 and life is all out there for you.
You will find more out about your sexuality when you move away from the family, you need to meet loads of people and have some fun, you need to find out who you are ... (read in full...)
It's been 7 months, but I'm still not over him
Q. I know that many people have a difficult time letting go of an ex. I was with my boyfriend for seven years and relocated across the country just to be with him. I left family and friends behind and it was a shock when he decided to return to the ...
A. 14 March 2006: You are a nice person but I would find it very patronising to be told this by someone that did not know me.
People move on in different ways and im sure you are for the most part over him you just do`nt know it.
You will take a long time to get o... (read in full...)
I really like this guy, but he's not calling me back!
Q. Okay well i really like this boy lets call him Fred. Freds gone on holiday but on friday I found out from one of his best mates that he fancies me. B4 he went on holiday I was speaking to him on an IM programme and he asked me out but I thought he ...
A. 14 March 2006: You have done all you can to make contact and will now just have to play the waiting game, it could be that his battery on phone is dead, he is out of credit or just does not have the phone with him.
Does sound like he likes you so just chill out ... (read in full...)
Am I masterbating wrong? HELP!
Q. hi ermm well ive tried masterbation for people at school talk about if your tight or slack and i waz wundering what am i?n people say two fingers is inbetween n over 3 iz slak under 2 iz tight n i can even fit i finger in my vagina!iz there somthing ...
A. 14 March 2006: I totally agree with the other agony aunts and once you have found what you like you will enjoy it so much you wont want to stop, masterbation is fun, it is safe and it is very very nice.
A lot of women do not need penetration to come, they just... (read in full...)
Things were so good to start with... But now they're not and she won't have sex!
Q. Me and my girlfriend are both 16 years old, and have been going out now for just over a year. We're still very close to each other, spending about 4 days a week together and still really enjoy being with each other. However, when I think about ho...
A. 14 March 2006: All relationships calm down in the sexual and excitment department as they get into more of an established routine.
Women and men go off sex from time to time and this can just be down to stress or tiredness, sometimes spicing things up can help... (read in full...)
Can I get my fiance back into my and our son's lives?
Q. My ex-fiance and I broke up about 2 months ago. He blames me for our relationship ending, but he's the one who broke it off. I'm still in love with him but he wants nothing to do with me besides discussing our son, and it's probably because he's ...
A. 14 March 2006: Why does he blame you for the relationship ending, and do you know for certain that he has moved on with someone else.
Why do you still want him, was the relationship a good one and if not do you really want to save it for the sake of your son... (read in full...)
I don't know why my fiancee left. She won't say, and she won't return my calls. What can I do?
Q. I am confused. My Fiance of five years left a note on Wednesday saying "be home at 6." At 7 the phone rang and dear fes..tho it's breaking my heart I need to end our relationship. She was reluctant to disclose her whereabouts (no domestic...
A. 14 March 2006: You will not want to hear this but sounds to me like she has been having an affair and has decided to move in with this bloke.
You need to get closure on this so ask her if there is anyone else and make sure you have packed her bags for her and ... (read in full...)
Does his "have kids when you're young" really mean "I want to have kids with you"?
Q. This older man that I am friends with ( and suspect that he likes me as something more) was asking me if I wanted to have children. I told him yes I did. He told me to have them when I was young; and then he winked at me. He said I should have ...
A. 14 March 2006: Slow down, lots of people make "off the cuff" comments like this, he was probably just talking in general to you about kids etc.
You are just friends and are not having a sexual relationship and you dont know if he likes you in a sexual way.
Do... (read in full...)
In need of a hug and some good advice... We're taking "time off".
Q. Hello all, I'm in need of a hug and some good advice. I have been in a year and a half relationship and recently we broke up. Well, time off for a month. Does time off really happen? Or does it translate into 'let's break up'? We broke up rat...
A. 14 March 2006: Counseling may help and it will make him see that relationships are a two way thing, but it does sound like your relationship has been on a steady decline and that although you love each other this is starting to not be enough.
Couples do have ups ... (read in full...)
He can't say either way if we should break uo-what does this mean?
Q. Dear Cupid, If My Boyfriend says he loves me, but he can't say either way that he wants to split up with me and he has asked to give him three weeks to decide what he wants, does this mean its the end or have I got hope? ...
A. 14 March 2006: There is hope but why does he want to split up, and why does he need the three weeks to decide.
Do you really want to be given this type of ultimatum, it seems like he is calling all the shots, you need to also look at the relationship and what you ... (read in full...)
An old ex-girlfriend keeps contacting my partner. He says he doesn't want to talk to her, but his emails show different!
Q. I have been with my partner for 2 years and we have 2 succesful businesses. He is australian and I'm UK. We live in greece. I have just returned to UK to visit family; he is currently in Greece. A few weeks ago we were shopping and his mobile r...
A. 14 March 2006: This is a difficult one as it seems she is trying to make the contact and he is trying to resist.
He may just want to see her again through interest, you say he has lost weight and changed in appearance, maybe a part of him wants her to see how ... (read in full...)
Cesarean or natural pregnancy experiences wanted!
Q. Hi, I am 6 months pregnant and may need to have a c-section to deliver my baby. I am wanting other womans opinions on their experiences with both c-section and natural births. Thanks for any help you can give me....
A. 14 March 2006: If you need a c-section then it is because this is what is best for you and your baby.
My sister recently had a baby by c-section after 36 hours in labour and sheer exhastion, unfortunatly she had to have an emergency c-section due to the shape of h... (read in full...)
Now I regret going out with my best friend. We barely speak!
Q. Right.. thanks for reading this by the way.... me and my best friend of 6 years have been seeing each other and then we went out for 7 months and he broke it off. Three days later he came back to me wanting to do shit, but we are still doing st...
A. 14 March 2006: You went from good friends to lovers and that is were the problems arose, you now want what you had as friends but due to the sex this will not be possible.
What he is doing with you is wrong, he cannot just finish with you and then use you for ... (read in full...)
The woman of my dreams is married... but her husband is away for months at a time!
Q. I recently met the woman of my dreams through a mutual friend. Only problem is, she's married!!! We've sorta struck up a friendship, we've chatted, sms'd, had coffee, etc, but I can't stop thinking about her. She drives me crazy, I've never felt ...
A. 14 March 2006: She may be the woman of your dreams but are you the man of hers ?
Her bloke works away for a long time, that is his job and it is how they manage financially, she knew what he did for a living when she married him and she knew she would at time... (read in full...)
After our breakup, she said she still loves me, but how do I tell if she's playing games?
Q. My girlfriend and I had been together for about a year before we broke up and I came back to Ohio. We only had two major fights during that whole year, and they were both caused by me telling her that I didn't trust her, when I really meant that I ...
A. 14 March 2006: Well you do know that what you did was wrong so we will not labour the point, it does seem like she is moving away from you, she is looking for another bloke and when she finds one that will be that.
She may still love you and be in love with you... (read in full...)
We've been married two months and I found nude pics of his ex-gf's. Should this bother me?
Q. I was married two months ago and have recently found among my husbands papers many pictures of ex-girlfriends including naked pictures. Is it normal for him to hold on to these? Should I be upset?...
A. 10 March 2006: Lots of people keep "trophies" or reminders of previouse relationships, I used to keep cards and pictures (yes nude ones) but when I moved house I trew them all away as I had found them in stuff stored in the attic and had not looked or remembered ... (read in full...)
Smeedle and Willy-W?
Q. I'm not sure this will get published, but... Should "smeedle" and "willywombat" get together? They're clearly in lurrrrrrrrrrve!...
A. 10 March 2006: I do think you meant to say Willywombat and sexybum, I do`nt think either of them are in luuuuuuuuuuuurve with me!!
I must just be on your mind!!!!!!... (read in full...)
He spends ages on the internet and when I found nude pics he claimed he was going to post them to a website. I'm suspicious...
Q. I'm really confused and unsure of what to do.. Recently I started a new job and my boyfriend of 3 years has started to act a lot differnt. He's home every day now and I know he spends a lot of time on the internet. Lately our sexual life...
A. 10 March 2006: Wise up to this bloke, you go to work so he now has all day to play on the internet, to see women etc.
No wonder he is tired he is fulfiling his self with what he looks at and any possible seeing women from these sites as well.
You need to look at ... (read in full...)
She loves me but I love her friend... How do I cool her off?
Q. Ive come to Singapore from the uk and life is very different here, especially relationships! I am 23 and met a girl of 25, things were great as friends but I have some how given the impression our friendship is much more even though nothing (not ...
A. 10 March 2006: There is no nice and gentle way to break up with this girl, you dont even fancy her so you need to make it clear to her that you just dont feel the same way as she does, tell her as soon as possible and be as gentle as you can but you have been ... (read in full...)
Could we ever survive a long-distance relationship? I don't want to fall for him then lose him!
Q. I have started dating a guy who is going to be moving away to another city in 3 months because of a job offer. (him not moving is not an option) We have been dating for a month and I am attracted to him and he is attracted to me but I am afraid ...
A. 10 March 2006: Just like the other two agony aunts I think you should chill and take it easy, there is no need to sleep with him and this would be the mistake you already see it to be.
Keep in touch with him and stay as friends not as a couple this way you are ... (read in full...)
Am I lame for being so excited to know I make her happy?
Q. i recently read my girlfriend's AIM profile and it says in captions "(a certain date) - happy again" i felt so happy because that certain date was when i asked her out or when we became official. i jumped up and down 10 times and i did push ups even ...
A. 10 March 2006: NO it is not lame and like irish49 I thank you for sharing this with us and hope that your future is everything that you dream it to be.
she is a lucky lady.... (read in full...)
Worried my carefully crafted platonic relationship may go critical, nuclear style!
Q. I have been struggling with inappropriate romantic feelings for a woman (I'll call her Jane) who is a classmate at university. The feelings are inappropriate because I love my wife and kid, are devoted to them, and have no desire to end my ...
A. 10 March 2006: I have read your up date and think that you are more involved than you would let on, you do want a relationship with jane in the future if that is possible, but you are struggling with the loyalty and love you have for your wife.
If you and your... (read in full...)
This is pretty confusing. He won't go "exclusive", despite holding me and making love!
Q. Hello everyone, My name is JD. I'm a 36 yrs old female and dating a 40 years old fireman, RA. We found each other on the on-line dating website. We have been seeing each other off-line since 12/1/2005. We see each other 1 time a week. Two...
A. 10 March 2006: I agree with harshbutfair, he is using you, he has no intention of having a full on exclusive relationship with you and played on your heart strings by playing the little boy vulnerable saying dont leave me.
You need to say that you will not leav... (read in full...)
Worried my carefully crafted platonic relationship may go critical, nuclear style!
Q. I have been struggling with inappropriate romantic feelings for a woman (I'll call her Jane) who is a classmate at university. The feelings are inappropriate because I love my wife and kid, are devoted to them, and have no desire to end my ...
A. 10 March 2006: No you must not ask her to consider this, what you have with this woman is lovely, she sees you as a really close friend and to cross that boundary and make it anything else would be damaging for her, for your wife, kids and marriage.
Your wife trus... (read in full...)
My wife's cheating on me and I don't know what to do about it!
Q. I am a 28-year-old man and my wife is 25. Recently I found out she has been cheating on me with a 68-year-old man after I received nude photos via email (our email address is a shared one, anything addressed to my wife also comes to me too.) ...
A. 9 March 2006: I agree with martine and will add that if she prefferes a 68 year old over you then he must be minted or the best sex god in the world.
You in my mind are better off without her but as you have a young son this maybe easier said than done.
If sh... (read in full...)
He asked me to dinner.....but never called me back!
Q. A guy I went on a couple of dates with told me that he doesn't want to date around anymore, that he wants to just date one person. He was implying that he wanted to date me, but he didn't come out and ask me. Then he asked if I'd be interested in ...
A. 9 March 2006: Just ring him, put yourself out of your misery one way or another.... (read in full...)
He's been hurt, can he have a relationship again?
Q. I started seeing a man who is divorced. His ex wife cheated on him and he was hurt badly. He just wants to date casually and that's all he's been doing for the past couple of years. When he talks about his past, it seems like he was a very sweet ...
A. 9 March 2006: Course they are capabile of having a relationship it is just that he knows he can use you and that you feel sorry for him so he gets away with it.
Stop this behaviour, tell him straight that his wandering days are ended if he wants to stay with you,... (read in full...)
His mother is his life, will this relationship last?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 19 years. He does'nt want marriage or commitment - he has never been married before and lives with his 91 year old mother who is his life. What do I do don't love him anymore I only see him on Saturday evenings ...
A. 9 March 2006: He is really attatched to the mother and sees you as his once a week bit of fun, whilst you keep on allowing this to happen it will.
He does have a terribly hard time as the main carer for his mother and maybe he cannot get anyone to look after her ... (read in full...)
He says he wants to meet, but I have to remind him
Q. Me and my boyfriend have just split up after five months together. He is 21 and I am 33. We are gay. We had a wonderful relationship. He always texted me each day telling me how much he loved me until suddenly after New Year just came out with the...
A. 9 March 2006: He is acting like a spoilt teenager, he wants it all but he does not know what all of it he wants.
He is playing around with you and teasing you, it feels powerful to him that he can text you and stir you up, that you will respond and you will meet... (read in full...)
Our friends are interfering in our relationship! HELP!
Q. how do we stop our friends from interfering with our relationship?..and still keep them friends? we love each other deeply,over a year now.. our friends are out of hand and i know they do mean well, but we need it done in a well manner way without ...
A. 9 March 2006: You have to tell them they are getting to interested in your life, tell them to back off and that although you know they are well meaning there advice is just not needed as you are a happy couple and know what you are doing.
If any of them are true... (read in full...)
We broke up, but I can't deal with this ending after 3 years
Q. My g/f of 3 years broke it off about a month ago b/c she said she was uphappy...like everyone else here, she said she loves me, wants things to work, ect..but is not ready for the relationship we had..we went back and forth talking for a few ...
A. 9 March 2006: YOu know it is over but you are hanging onto false hope, well she is not at all interested and has to all intents and purpose moved on.
I know it is hard to accept that she loved you then she did not love you, she obviously had a think about the ... (read in full...)
| *meedle's friends
These are mutual friends, so *meedle has
added them and they have added *meedle!
|
