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... Send *meedle a private message | | | *meedle's profile:51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.
I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.
I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help. |
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I kissed two guys when I was away, so doesn't that say something about my feelings for my boyfriend?
Q. I previously posted this as a question and got some great feedback, however the situation has since moved on and now I need new advice: "I have been with my boyfriend for six years. I am now 21. Recently we have been going through a bad patch (abo...
A. 15 April 2006: If he was "the one" you would know by now, he is definatly not "the one" and I suspect you will have a lot of relationships before you find the true one, if indeed you ever do and most of us dont but we have a lot of fun and sometimes heartache ... (read in full...)
Broke up Saturday, back together Wednesday, broken up again Wednesday night. What's going on?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me recently, last Saturday, saying that we fight too much and argue too much. I am 18 and she is 15. After talking about things she said she still wanted to see me now and again while meeting other people. We met in perso...
A. 15 April 2006: She is playing with your head and you are letting her, accept her decision to finish and as hard as it will be you need to walk away and dont turn back.
She maybe influenced by her mum but she has her own mind and you have yours, you must see that... (read in full...)
I kissed two guys when I was away, so doesn't that say something about my feelings for my boyfriend?
Q. I previously posted this as a question and got some great feedback, however the situation has since moved on and now I need new advice: "I have been with my boyfriend for six years. I am now 21. Recently we have been going through a bad patch (abo...
A. 15 April 2006: This is an easy one to answer, you your self have all but answered, you have outgrown each other and that is that.
Time to finish it and move on, you have kissed two blokes and you enjoyed it, this tells you that you are ready for a new man in your... (read in full...)
Moving interstate to be with my guy, but how do I know he's The One?
Q. My boyfriend and I live in different states. He lives in Mississippi and I live in New Jersey. I'm leaving Friday to move with him and his family until we get an apartment, but I want to know he's the one. I'm leaving my relatives in Jersey and I ho...
A. 15 April 2006: You will only know if it is going to work if you give it ago, you are giving up a lot by moving out of your comfort zone were all your family and friends are and moving away with his folks but im assuming you have discussed your fears with him, if ... (read in full...)
She has to pee a lot... Is my girlfriend pregnant?
Q. I was out with my girlfriend for 6 hours today.. within those 6 hours she had to go to the bathroom 4 times. and they seemed to be really close together. I know one of the signs of pregnancy is having to pee a lot more frequently.. could this be a ...
A. 15 April 2006: You should know!! have you had unprotected sex? if so then yes she could be pregnant or it could just be a urinary infection.
Ask her!!... (read in full...)
How do I swallow my pridge?
Q. I've fallen in love with a wonderful girl, but pride is coming between us. How do I let go of my pride (while retaining my self-respect) so that I can keep the girl? I've been trying to swallow my pride for a while now, but it's easy to say and ...
A. 2 April 2006: Please be more specific, what is the issue, why do you need to swallow your pride.... (read in full...)
My online date looked "different" in real life... And not a "good" different
Q. Well, yesterday I went to meet this guy I had met from a website. I had talked to him for a month or so, and by then I really liked him...But yesterday, when we met, he looked sort of different from his pictures, and I'm confused because I no longer ...
A. 2 April 2006: Meeting people from a web site is dangerouse but lots of people seem to be doing it, that said he has obviously sent you a picture of someone else or maybe he was younger than he is now.
You need to bear this in mind but you still seem to like him ... (read in full...)
She used to be a swallow!
Q. My g.f used to swallow after Oral sex. Now, she wont. She jumps up and runs to the bathroom and then i hear her spitting. I could understand if she never did that before. But SHE HAS!. ...
A. 1 April 2006: I swallow when it is a new relationship as you dont feel you can get up and run to the bathroom, and dribbling is also not always an option.
Once I know my partner better I also spit it out as It is yuck! this is not a reflection on you it is just... (read in full...)
We don't have sex. Is divorce the answer?
Q. my husband and I have been having marital problems. We have been to a counsellor but nothing has changed. We don't have sex. I think it's been 3 months now. He never wants it, and I think it's because he's afraid of not performing, which has ...
A. 1 April 2006: Sex is important in a relationship on that we agree but it is not the main thing, love and understanding are high up on the list of things that are far more important.
You have a good idea why he does not want sex so get him to seek help, find arti... (read in full...)
do I cut her out of my life or try to be mature?
Q. How to let go in an unclear situation. I was in a relationship with an amazing young lady for a year and a half, I'm now 28 and she's 21. We had a wonderful time-lots of respect and love and freedom to express ourselves. We split up because she d...
A. 1 April 2006: Either cut contact all together and move on, or tell her you still have feelings for her and believe she may have some for you, ask her if she feels there is any point in having another go at the relationship and take it from there, if she says no ... (read in full...)
Older online woman who I'm falling for big time!
Q. hi, im 16 and met a 27 year old girl on the net i want to meet her but she wants to wait. we get on well and really like each other. we clicked the first time we spoke. we live far apart so that causes some problem like. i think im falling in lov...
A. 1 April 2006: Get out more, that is what you should do, the internet is great for chatting etc but you need a real relationship with someone who lives by you and who is nearer your own age and into the same stuff that you are.
... (read in full...)
How can I tell if I'm really in love with him?
Q. how do you know when your in love? theres a guy hes the same age and we go to school together. im really close to him. i think i might be in love with him. i think about him all the time. when im with him im really happy and i want to get close ...
A. 1 April 2006: He is a really close and good friend who has just got himself a girlfriend and you are having to face not having him around exclusively for you as much.
It is normal to feel love for a close friend but there are many forms of love and yours may not ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me, but I would really like to get her back!
Q. Hi I don't know what to do. I'm 19 and my g/f - who's 22 - broke up with me over a week ago after asking me to stay for a week at her house. It came as a shock to me and I am still very hurt but she says she can't take the emotions involved and that ...
A. 1 April 2006: Better that she has told you now than a year down the line, you cannot do anything to change her mind as she seems to have decided that a relationship with you is not for her, she has been honest and the week you spent a together seems to have ... (read in full...)
I'm 12 and pregnant! HELP!
Q. I am only 12 and i am pregnant.Me and my boyfreind wo is 13 nearly 14 used protection but it split.Only me and him no but i need to no what to do.PLEASE HELP!(i have gone a few weeks)...
A. 1 April 2006: First thing is to do a test, you can get these from the chemist or go to Brook Advisory if you live in the UK.
Brook will give you confidential advice and will be able to advise on future contraception.
I have to say that I do think you are far ... (read in full...)
Confused about my collegue, what's his game?
Q. I am crazy about a coworker, though I had kept it all to myself so far. I am in a committed relationship and he has a "girl friend". Maybe someone could help me understand the situation better: 1. He often stays late and chat with me alone, b...
A. 1 April 2006: His intentions are to remain faithful to his partner and to enjoy the closeness of a work collegue.
I can see why you think there maybe more but really there is not, he is a genuine nice guy and you should be glad that he shares stuff with you, valu... (read in full...)
My culture won't allow them to be together so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I am a woman in my late thirties with an 18 year old daughter. We are Muslim and therefore have certain rules and regulations in our society. Now, I absolutely adore my daughter, she has been a complete joy to me from the mome...
A. 1 April 2006: Firstly let me congratulate you, you are a fantastic mum and are much stronger than you know.
You need to get help on this situation from someone who is much more aware of your culture than I am, maybe use the internet or go to a multiculture cent... (read in full...)
Oh my god did I cheat without knowing it???
Q. I was at a party recently where i got very drunk and blacked out, I slept in the same bed as my boyfriends(25) friend but nothing happened. I met one of his friends recently who started calling me a whore etc and saying that he knows what i did the ...
A. 1 April 2006: Well no good crying over spilt milk what you have to do now is damage limitation, you firstly must talk to the bloke you shared the bed with, ask him what happened and gauge his reaction, that should tell him if he is telling the truth, tell him you ... (read in full...)
My mom won't let me do anything!!
Q. hello there! im a teen in need of help. Me and my mom used to get along very well but everything is so different. Now that im 15 (turning 16 real soon) she treats me different. She's very old fashion and girl/boy relationships are new to her. She ...
A. 1 April 2006: Your mum is being over protective and the reason for this is that she does not yet feel ready to let you go, she knows the dangers of the big bad wide world and has kept you safe for nearly 16 years.
Her job is to be your protector and a moth... (read in full...)
I need to get out of this depressing relationship!
Q. I met my fiance a year ago and we were just friends until October. When we began dating then, it was great, as is every new relationship. Things moved quickly and he proposed at the beginning of January. We began to make plans for the wedding, ...
A. 1 April 2006: you have made your decision now you have to tell him, it wont be easy but noting in life ever is and lets face it marrying him would be a huge mistake.
The best way to tell someone they are dumped is just to do it, tell him it is over and give hone... (read in full...)
Unhappy with him or unhappy without?
Q. Hey. Im 17 and my boyfriends 18, we've been dating over a year now and ever since the begining our relationshi has had problems. Alot of them have involved his ex and im so sick of it. He lies to me, and treats me horriably. i want to break up with ...
A. 1 April 2006: Ditch him and work through the pain, all relationships when they end cause a degree of pain but this is part of having relationships and life.
dont waste another preciouse year on someone who is just a waste of space, go find yourself a nice man.... (read in full...)
Should I try and take it further at the risk of our friendship?
Q. heyy heres the thing. theres this guy *dean. i only met dean at the start of the school year and our personalities clicked straight away. so now were the best of mates and i love him to pieces. but recently some of our other mates have been sayin we ...
A. 1 April 2006: Yes it may damage the friendship or on the other hand it could turn into a much deeper friendship.
Life is all about taking chances and going with your heart, do what you feel inside you is right and if it all goes wrong just be open with him and ... (read in full...)
He's keeping something from me, what is it??
Q. I am in a good relationship with a person that I love dearly, but I feel like he is keeping something from me and I want him to talk to me. What should I say to him?...
A. 1 April 2006: What makes you think he is keeping something from you, are you sure it is not just your own insecurity.
If you really do think that he is keeping something important from you then the only way to find out what it is is to ask him and as Dazerg says... (read in full...)
We argue on the phone but not in real life!
Q. My boyfriend and I are really happy..when we are together. We never fight when we are around each other..but when we talk on the phone or anything, we tend to fight more than what i would consider normal. He tells me that I piss him off with some of ...
A. 1 April 2006: Take a look at what it is that you say to him on the phone, do you say things on the phone that you would not say when you are with him and do you use a different tone.
I would not say your relationship is doomed but it does need some work.
Tell ... (read in full...)
Is he still hung up on his gorgeous ex?
Q. my boyfriend says he loves me, yet i have teh feelings he still loves his ex more than me. i mean i did find her pictures in his e mail even though he's been with me now. i dun't know what if he's lying and he actually still loves her. how can i ...
A. 1 April 2006: Stop this worship of this other girl, you put yourself down by comparing yourself to her.
Looks are superficial and anyone will tell you that, it seems like your bloke saw you, liked what he saw and so the relationship with you started.
Of course h... (read in full...)
What do I do when I know he loves me?
Q. Hi I'm 15 years old and i live in Santa Maria California and my boyfriend has a class with one of my friends, and i was just curious to know if he loved me yet or not. So I asked my friend to ask him for me, and she agreed she told me that he said ...
A. 1 April 2006: Yes it is normal and good just to be at the kissing stage, but really it is not advisable to get friends to ask your fella anything about your relationship that is personal, if you want to know if he loves you tell him that you think you love him ... (read in full...)
What do you do when the guy who wants you has a girlfriend?
Q. what does is mean when a guy is dead set on pegging a girls personality? someone who just thinks they know you so well, and gives the impression he likes you, yet has a girlfriend and doesnt do anything about it?...
A. 1 April 2006: Someone that is playing with you, maybe he is keeping you as a reserve option in case the girlfriend he is with realises what a rat he is and dumps him.... (read in full...)
How do I regain trust?
Q. Could someone give me some ideas to help regain trust in a relationship? I am lost of ideas. I love him and leaving him is not an option....
A. 1 April 2006: Once trust is gone it is hard to rebuild but with effort and committment it can be done, it just requires an open and frank relationship in which you both invest in one another.
Trust has to be earned so if it is you that has strayed or upset the ... (read in full...)
My mummys boy won't commit!
Q. im 43 and my boyfriend is 51, we are back to the same problem, hes always lived with his mum who is 90 now and she has spoilt him, we have split up in the past and got back together, the problem is always his lack of committment to me, mention the ...
A. 1 April 2006: For heavens sake dump him, he is just wasting your time and you need to get out of this one sided relationship and find yourself a bloke who will commit to you.
It is fantastic that he is looking after his mum but you also have needs that he is just... (read in full...)
I have high ambitions but she thinks I don't want her in on them!
Q. I am 30 by two weeks to come and my gal is 23 by nine weeks to come, I am a graduate and she is a mere primary school leaver. I am striving to get a job for 1.5 years now unsuccessful, I expected to marry by this year but due to this I think it ...
A. 1 April 2006: Right, well few things, one are you in love with her and if so why are you messing about, just tell her you want to marry her and if she still wants this then go for it, it does not cost as much as you may think if you dont go for the full on white ... (read in full...)
Why do men need something so the love making is longer?
Q. I recently did something to my husband, that totally blew his mind!,(I'll tell you later) Why do men need some kind of stimulents to have longer love making sessions with their spouses,(2 hrs)? When straight, its three minutes, once a week. or ...
A. 29 March 2006: Sounds like you have a partner who gets off on fantasies or drugs, this means that straight sex will not do it for him as well as it used to.
You need to ask yourself if you are prepared to have sex like he wants it or not and if not move on and ... (read in full...)
I really like her but haven't seen her in over a month! How can I start seeing her again?
Q. Hey, please help me. Im 16 and i haven't seen this girl i really like who is 15 in over a month and i don't know why. Does she not want to see me again or something? i would ring her but im kind of shy. Can anyone please tell me how i can start ...
A. 29 March 2006: Are both of you doing exams right now, her parents may think she needs to stay in and concerntrate on her exams.
My son is 16 and until his gcse exams are over he is almost grounded, maybe she is the same.
You must either text her or ring her, ju... (read in full...)
For some reason we couldn't get him to stay in me during intercourse. Are we doing something wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are in our late twenties and both virgins. The other day we tried to have sex for the first time and we couldn’t get his penis to stay in me. We tried with both me and him on top. Is there anything that we can do to make it ...
A. 29 March 2006: When you say it wont stay in what do you mean exactly, it sounds like he is withdrawing from you too much and so you need to just practice, as long as his penis stays hard, you stay wet and relaxed and you get it in first time you will with practice ... (read in full...)
My son strips down to his underwear in school. Is there anything I can do?
Q. I am a father of two, married 18 years. My son is 15 years old, and sitting his GCSE's. Recently we got a phone call off his school, informing us that he'd been stripping to his underwear in lessons, and even in the outdoors. The school want...
A. 29 March 2006: Hi Jason,
This is really difficult and one that I have a few ideas about, like Shania and willywombat I think you need proffessional help as stress can do odd things to people and the stress and expectations of the exams can make kids go a litt... (read in full...)
I want to believe badly that her new man is only a rebound!
Q. Hey guys, I've asked a few questions before, so a lot of you probably know what my situation is. My ex means so much to me and I'd like to maintain hope. Here's the thing, I think that she might think that she is in love with her rebound guy ...
A. 29 March 2006: There is a saying "never say never" and I am thinking that phrase fits you, you are persistant I will give you that but waiting for her to break up with her current fella is not healthy and what is to say that if she does break up she will come back ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to help him if he's saying such harsh words towards me!
Q. My fiancee's mother recently passed away. I realize the impact that losing someone has on a person. I haven't lost my parents, but I lost two brothers to suicide. I expect the process of greiving and that he needs to go through all these emotions in ...
A. 29 March 2006: You are a wonderful and caring young woman who has had more than her share of pain, you now feel you want to support your partner in the loss of his mother which is wonderful.
Are you certain that the way he is treating you is due to the loss of h... (read in full...)
Feel upset that I'm having to set up the guy I like with my friend :-(
Q. I like a guy, and he great, but he doesn't like me. He likes my friend, and i think she likes him too, but i'm not sure. I keep telling them to get together, but even when i do that i feel jealous. I know my friend wouldn't do anything to ...
A. 25 March 2006: Forget him and move on, he does not want you so it is end of story.
Stop trying to push them together, there is only pain in store for you if they do become an item as then you would have to see them together and you would get over him a lot less... (read in full...)
How can I forget my past abuse?
Q. I was sexually molasted as a young child(4-5 years old) by a guy named X. He went to my old church. I didnt tell my parents until I was 24. They were a little upset with me, but wondered why I didn't tell them before. I guess its because I was ...
A. 25 March 2006: What you have gone through is awfull, but you have come out the other end as a survivor, and yes the trauma you suffered as a child will be what has led you to have ADHD and now ADD.
You need proffessional help if you have not already had it and ... (read in full...)
Feel like I have to compete with his twin for his attention
Q. Ok so here's the deal, I met my boyfriend 11 months ago and for the first few months everything was lovely, however he has a twin, which has transcended into this huge problem and I dont know why! he is 19 and the boys are inseperable, I dont know ...
A. 25 March 2006: Oftern twins have a special relationship that can for anyone be difficult to break through.
Your fella is trying to keep everyone happy, his brother is jealouse of your relationship as they are so close and he is finding it hard to have to shar... (read in full...)
Sweet 19 and never been kissed!
Q. Hey, I now, through the powers of online anonimity, declare that I am a hetrosexual 19 year old male who has never even kissed a girl. Now, some may argue this is down to me being socially inept. Here's the backstory. I have no brothers or sist...
A. 25 March 2006: The answer is in your question, you need to find company first and then see what grows of this.
You are obviously someone who thinks a lot and is possibly a worrier, so relax, make friends and the rest will follow.
Enjoy womens company and one day ... (read in full...)
I'm 25, male and have never had a sex-drive... !
Q. I don't have a sex drive and have never really had one. I'm a 25yr old male, I have a girlfriend who I love to death but I think this is starting to become an issue. My girlfriend smuthers me in need of some loving but I am not excited nor do I feel ...
A. 25 March 2006: I take it that you do want and fancy women, you are not supressing some homosexual feelings?
I have to ask as sometimes men who have relationships with women do it to try and make themselves believe it is women and not men they fancy, this lead... (read in full...)
I am with the father of my sons but he is still very much married. What should I do??
Q. I am a single mother with 4 children, two of whom was from previous relationships. I am now with the father of my third and youngest sons. He is married but was separated from his wife few years back. Up until this time, I have a feeling that he ...
A. 25 March 2006: Tell him to make up his mind which one of you he wants, then if it is you, tell him to get divorced.
This way you will know for certain that he is committed to you and your children, stop him having all this choice.
Ultimatum time is the only way... (read in full...)
He keeps telling me I have mental problems. Is it me... Or is it him?
Q. I have been in a mentally abusive relationship for the past 9 years (i have been told by doctors this is what it is anyway)I met this man when i was 16 and we had a daughter when 1 was18 and he was 20. he can show her no affection and it seems to ...
A. 25 March 2006: Good heavens, what on earth are you still doing with this controle freak, get out and do it very soon, you are putting your health at seriouse risk.
He has no interest in your or your daughter so why stay for your daughters sake, he is just tell... (read in full...)
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