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... Send *meedle a private message | | | *meedle's profile:51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.
I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.
I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help. |
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He's 28 and can't get a hardon. Could it be the drugs? Any suggestions?
Q. iv been seeing a lad from work since xmas 2005 and its going really well apart from in the bedroom,we are both 28, i dont think im his usual type but i no he`s liked me for ages and iv liked him a while too.Anyway he cant get a hard on no matter ...
A. 6 March 2006: I once went out with a bloke who would get hard until the actual time of entry then he went soft, nothing I did made any difference, and to be truthful after awhile my patience worn thin and I ditched the poor bugger,( I was young and not at all ... (read in full...)
I peed when I came!
Q. last night me and my partner had sex. i felt like i was about to cum but something weird happened. Its very embarrassing to admit but instead of cuming massively i urinated... is this normal... I doubt it! someone advise me please!! i don't know how ...
A. 6 March 2006: I dont think you actually urinated in the true sence of the word, when a woman comes sometimes they squirt a liquid substance and it can get fairly wet it is the female equivilant of ejeculation and is very normal.
Enjoy it as it means sex with... (read in full...)
My boyfriend takes ages to cum. Is it because there's something wrong with him? Or with me?
Q. Ive been with my b/f for just over a year. We love each other very much and do plan to get married in the near future. The problem is our sex life or maybe it's my problem? Well anyway I can get him aroused easy enough; i'ts just that he takes ag...
A. 6 March 2006: I had a bloke once that just took forever to come and he did this deliberatly as he thought I wanted him to last and last, what he did not realise is that it had become boring waiting for him to come and I was just fed up, when he did come it was ... (read in full...)
How do I move along our month-long relationship?
Q. Something is bothering me a LOT. (we're both 16 years old) My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a month and it's going nowhere (or maybe just really really slow). He goes to a school that my best friend attends and thats how I me...
A. 6 March 2006: Slow is good, what on earth is the hurry, please just be patient with him and with yourself.
He may just not be a good communicator, you said yourself that he is really shy and you are his first girlfriend.
Boys do not mature as fast as girls, I... (read in full...)
I've been so strong but will I regret not having him in my life?
Q. After being left for other women 10 months ago, I still can't seem to get a grip on my life. I really enjoy not being lied to, cheated on or emotionally and mentally abused. I thought I had my mind set and was being strong, doing the right thing ...
A. 6 March 2006: No way is this bloke your soul mate, get that idea right out of your head.
What he is to you is a bad habit, you have what sounds like a shyness problem and so drink in order to socialise, and to get you over your anxiety, all things that he will... (read in full...)
I am getting mixed signals from my ex and don't know what to do
Q. About six weeks ago my bf of a year and half broke it off, suddenly, saying he didn't want to date anyone right now. About a week before I had panicked and told him I thought he wasn't in to the relationship. He had been busy getting a new job, and ...
A. 6 March 2006: He cannot make up his mind if he wants to be with you or not, sounds like currently it is not, next week if you dont contact him it will no doubt be a wants to be with you.
So cool it, dont let him dangle you in this way, tell him it is make your... (read in full...)
I got on my high horse and hurt him!
Q. I am feeling terribly low about myself. My fiancé broke up with me because I said something nasty about his mother. The truth is, I saw his family as scheming, conniving hypocrites. His mother would say nice things about me before other people and ...
A. 6 March 2006: Hi VivianS, well first off you need to get to grips with the reality that your fiance is no longer that, he is now the ex.
He choose his family over you and that is that, it sounds like you and he would have had a great relationship and future if i... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my cheating girlfriend or not?
Q. Looking for help. My girlfriend cheated on me at a party or to be more precise, with her ex while she was getting ready for it. I found out, after her friend had walked in and caught them and my gf told her not to tell me. I confronted her, and at ...
A. 6 March 2006: Oh bigmanwithabigheart, you really need to not be such a big man with a big heart, she is using you and you know it.
Ditch her and do it fast, she will only get you locked up for assault as you will inevitably hurt her ex really badly and trus... (read in full...)
I'm married but have slept with my cousin!
Q. hi im a married women about three weeks ago we all were having a few drinks at my house a few of my friends and my cousins where there when everyone went to bed my cousin asked me to stay up to help him with the computer after awhile he was getting ...
A. 6 March 2006: Ok, so you know what you did is wrong but you dont want to stop do you, I think you enjoyed the attention and let us face it, you were stopped the first time but made sure it happened the second time.
You know what damage you can and have done, you ... (read in full...)
Scared my son will start getting sexual
Q. i am a 29 year old mother of a 14 year old son.i have noticed recently that my son has started dating and i am so scared that he will start engaging into sexual activities. i do not know how to talk to him about this matter and i do not want him ...
A. 6 March 2006: Well first relax a little, my son assures me that sex eduction in school is very good, but6 obviously you need to top this up with the talk every mother hates to do but is really necessary.
I am sure that he will be careful as he will learn from... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went on a boys weekend to amsterdam and blew all his wages!
Q. Hello basically my boyfriend has been treating me with no respect,shouting and swearing in front of our children punching holes in doors. He does work long hours up at 3am. He told me last sunday he was going on a boys weekend to amsterdam on fri...
A. 6 March 2006: You know that how he is treating you is wrong and that it must stop.
He did not leave you any money for the kids etc and went on holiday with his mates, he want to be living the single life so cut him free to do it, just make sure you get the hous... (read in full...)
I feel ready for this pregnancy and want to have the baby, but my boyfriend won't even discuss it!
Q. hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. 2 Years ago I got pregnant on the pill and had a termination because neither my boyfriend nor I were ready to have a child, although since then I have had great feelings of regret. I then went on ...
A. 6 March 2006: You dont, you need to realise that this bloke is not going to support you or the baby.
He may in time come around to the idea but dont wait or hope for this, you have decided to keep the baby and know this is right for you so just get on with it o... (read in full...)
I'm infatuated with Eric, and I don't know why...
Q. I really like this guy (let's call him Eric). I am 14 and he is 18, but it's not the age gap that bothers me. His older brother asked me out (and I declined) but I liked Eric before I met his older brother. I dream about him, and I went to his hous...
A. 6 March 2006: Give this bloke a wide berth, you like the idea of being with him, maybe because he is older and more experienced.
He still has sex with his ex who lives in his house, if you did get with him how would you trust him, you would be constantly worr... (read in full...)
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a girl who is a friend?
Q. Dear cupid. What is the difference between having a girl as a best friend and having a girl as your girlfriend? Im 16 and my best friend is 15. Im asking this because im best friends with a girl and we are really close. The only thing we don't do ...
A. 6 March 2006: Friendships like the one you have with this girl are so special and should if possible be left as friendship, you both have a bond and support and rely on each other, why complicate it by trying to decide what it is, just enjoy it for what it is.
... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has never said she loves me!
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend are both 19 and have been going out for 2 months now. I really love her and have told her many times. Though, she has never once said it back to me, which can get me down sometimes. I would jsut like to hear the three w...
A. 6 March 2006: It is better for her not to tell you she loves you if she does not, lots of people stupidly tell there partners they love them when actually they like them a lot but dont love them.
Love is one of the most over used words and should only be said... (read in full...)
We had this weird staring thing going on... Has he moved on and how should I have acted?
Q. A guy at college kept looking at me with no emotion--i never knew what to do, so i did the same. This went on for about three months I got tired of the game and so i ignored him (but i still noticed him), i started to hang around with my male ...
A. 6 March 2006: Good grief, how clear a message does he have to give you for you to realise he really is not interested.
find a bloke that is interested in being with you and knows you are on the planet.... (read in full...)
All we do is make up and break up.....
Q. Hi there, I need some advice I am seeking. In Aug 2003 I met this amazing, striking blonde N, we had a relationship for 3 Months, gradually hit it off then boom out the blue she ended it. She had just come out of a 7 yr relationship (the guy was ...
A. 6 March 2006: Just give her some time and some space, she asked that you stay friends, well do that, keep in touch as a friend and in time if it is meant to be then it will.
Both of you need some time and space from each other to look at why the realtionship was ... (read in full...)
How can he say he loves me, then break us up?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me because he thought things were getting too serious. He says he loves me but doesn't want a serious relationship right now. That doesn't make any sense to me. How you can love someone and not want to be with them? So my ...
A. 6 March 2006: Maybe he is telling you he loves you and does but just does not love you enough to have a relationship with you, and this is his way of finishing with you and letting you down gently.
You should not try and get him back if the relationship is over... (read in full...)
Fourth time lucky?
Q. If your partner has three failed relationships behind him what are the chances that our relationship will last? Is it true that past behavior represents future behavior?? ...
A. 6 March 2006: I have had a lot more than three failed relationships, most of us have a lot of partners and so a lot of relationships before we settle on mr or mrs right, and with each failed relationship we learn lessons which we carry over to the next ... (read in full...)
I don't want to come off as just being nasty about my ex... but I have to tell someone about how rotten he was to me!
Q. I need some advice. I have had issues in getting over my ex and I have decided that the reason is because I have told no one what happened. I still feel anger and hurt over the way that he treated me and find myself unable to even look at him beca...
A. 6 March 2006: You have told me, that is a start.
I think you should tell someone, one of your closes friends as you need support over this, it is bad what he did and a shock so you have to talk things through to make sense of them and to get some comfort from... (read in full...)
I want my partner to admit it...
Q. What do I say to get my spouse to confess an affair?...
A. 6 March 2006: Do all that beentheredonethat says but be prepared for what you find out, if you get it wrong then the trust has gone and for sure your partner will finish your relationship.
But if you find out they are having an affair then what?
You must con... (read in full...)
Any suggestions for "pillow talk"?
Q. i have an amazing boyfriend, but there is one tiny problem, i need help on pillow talk, it's not that i am bad but just that i run out of things to say, any suggestions on wat i can say to him. he is tall dark and handsome. he looks like tyres...
A. 6 March 2006: Lucky girl, with him in my bed pillow talk would not be needed, actions speak louder than words.
If you really want to turn him on then just tell him your fantasies, but actual physical touching will do just as well, relax and just do what come... (read in full...)
I fancy my best friend!! How can I get closer?
Q. Dear Cupid, I fancy my best friend and i haven't told her yet (don't no if i will). We can trust each other with anything. Lately we have been hugging and things like that but how can i get more close to her and make our friendship more romantic...
A. 4 March 2006: Well for one you can ask her if she has considered having you as more than just a friend, talk things through with her, tell her you fancy her but worry that she does not feel the same and that if you dated you may loose the really good ... (read in full...)
Has the love gone?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over 9 months now. At the beginning we were both really into each other and all our friends could see the spark but I'm scared that the fire we used to have is starting to fizzle out. I'm really paranoid about ...
A. 4 March 2006: This is harsh but I really think he may be going off you, or he is scarred of something.
If you feel he is not as passionate and he just is not comming across like he used to it is a certain indication that things are going wrong.
You need to confr... (read in full...)
I had sex with him but he was so ugly, I didn't want to be seen with him! It's over but I keep thinking about him??
Q. weve been going out with my bf for 2yrs with a 3mnth split in the middle. we split because i couldnt deal with him joining the army. when we were apart i ending up having regular sex with this bloke. he was very good in bed and i liked his ...
A. 4 March 2006: You really need to re-read what you wrote in the first instance, you seem shocked by what myself and sexybum wrote to you but you did not give us much to go on, you said you were embarrassed to be seen out with him, now you said you went out places ... (read in full...)
I feel I'm flat chested and I'm depressed and self harm...please help
Q. I am flat Chested and a 15 yr old, people some times directly say sumin to me, and i feel like i want to die, i also siffer from depression! Why cant i beat these bullies! What shall i do, how can i over come this? Please Please help me, because...
A. 3 March 2006: Listen to what martini has said as it is honest and from the heart, it will give you strength to see that with time will come the wisdom to know that you are a fantastic and sexy lady and that you have a body every supermodel desires, boobs are over ... (read in full...)
We're married but he says his paycheck is HIS... Right or wrong?
Q. Hello. I was wondering what you think. If my husband of 6 years who I have dated for 13, is the sole provider of me and our two young children,besides me working part time nights, does he have the right to control all finances and claim that his ...
A. 3 March 2006: Wake up, you work, you do nights and do the house stuff and the kid stuff all he has to do is go to work and come home, your job is more hours, more labour intensive and more diverse and demanding.
Sort him out, you need to ask for a joint acco... (read in full...)
"Spark" overrated?
Q. Is Spark everything? Is it better to be with someone who you really have that amazing spark with or someone who you really care about and respect and love but that spark is not there. I know the spark goes but if it is not there in the first pla...
A. 3 March 2006: Not at all sure what constitutes a "spark" I have thought I have some spark with a fella only to find out that it was not a spark but a lustyness and once the sex had worn off there was nothing much left to call a relationship.
On the other hand... (read in full...)
We took time out last year, now a text message I snooped at on his phone makes me doubt him!
Q. i don't know what to think or do?!? my boyfriend and i have just celebrated our 6th yearly aniversay and i know he loves me very much. we run two businesses together and are renovating a flat together. we had some problems last year and he took ...
A. 3 March 2006: Sounds to me like he is still playing away, you need to look a lot further into this as he is definatly up to no good.... (read in full...)
Any way to kick start a sex-life?
Q. My boyfriend and I don't have sex that much, I think it is because we don't have good sex. Is there any way to start having an amazing sex life, even though we never have....
A. 3 March 2006: learn some techniques, learn to love each others bodies, talk about what turns you on and what fantasies you have, get some saucy underwear and some for him.
Get some sexy films out and try out new possitions, book into a hotel as mr and mrs smit... (read in full...)
We've both cheated on each other, but he did it once too many..should I forgive him? He says he still loves me.
Q. me and my exboyfriend lasted 5 years on and off.I cheated on him the first time and he forgave me. 4yrs in a half into our relationship he cheated on me with somebody i knew. I forgave him but 6 m. later he did it again. Its been 8 months and i ...
A. 3 March 2006: Smeedle does scold you for this martini, but once again your advice is spot on.
You ask for forgivness and yet both of you have done the same to one another, my guess is that you both need a break and that currently you are both going nowhere ... (read in full...)
He wants me to move in with him...but if I do-I want to co-own his house!
Q. I have a few questions! they are not problems as such, but would love some input from you guys. I am 22 yrs old, and have a great job and good friends. My partner is this gorgoeus man who I love with all my heart. The trouble is that he has asked ...
A. 3 March 2006: I agree with Martini and will just add that personally I would move in, if in the longer term you really get full on commitment and want to start a family, get married or something then you can do the joint mortgage thing then.
I have lived with... (read in full...)
Playing it cold... But how *can* I win him?
Q. I'm at uni and I met a guy who was after me.. we would talk alot and got along well finally we kissed and got intimate a few times.. we took it a step further than friendship.. now all of the sudden there's another girl he kissed.. he stopped ...
A. 3 March 2006: This bloke want you both and you need to ditch him, he is just no good.
Move on with your life and keep him out of it.... (read in full...)
Only ever fallen in love with two guys. Why?
Q. I am 21 years old and i only ever love two guys. I date other guys but i can't seems to fall inlove with them, what could be my problem i need help pleased....
A. 3 March 2006: Falling in love with two guys by the age of 21 is good going, what are you worried about.
It is better to not fall in love with someone at the drop of a hat, than confess to un dying love on the second date, you can obviously distinguish betw... (read in full...)
Should I break up with him for being inconsiderate?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months. He says he loves me and buys me flowers all the time, but he keeps saying he is coming over and doesn't show up until two hours later. Last night he did it again and I went to the bar to have a ...
A. 3 March 2006: No, just get a grip of him and tell him straight that you are pissed off at him being late, some people are just late by nature and have little or no concept of time, my sister is like this, if I want to meet her at a resturant and table is booked ... (read in full...)
Opened my heart to my ex because I thought he was single...
Q. Hi, I am very embarrassed about a rendez vous I had with my ex. You see, we broke up a year ago, and since then I have realised that I was mad about this guy, but just wasn't ready at the time. We both are single now, so I arranged to meet...
A. 3 March 2006: You broke up with him, he got hurt, he moved on and now you want him back, well looks like he likes the idea of having you in his life but not the reality.
My guess is that he would preffer it if you were friends this way it is casual and if the ... (read in full...)
Cheated on him twice in a weekend. Should I go on this break (I *do* like his friends!)... Or break-up?
Q. i have been with my bf a year now and i have just recently cheated on him twice in one weekend, we have a holiday booked with his mates and i love them, i wanna go away with them, but i feel i should break things off. wot should i do?...
A. 3 March 2006: Stop using him, break it off before you give him something nasty.... (read in full...)
Any tips to become more confident?
Q. How can I be more confident? I am 19 years old, never had a boyfriend, etc.. I feel ugly compared to other girls, and I just dont see why a guy would want to be with me.I have been told im pretty but I just dont believe it. There is this one guy who ...
A. 3 March 2006: You do seem to have low self esteem and if possible I suggest you go to assertivness classes, or buy some books that deal with improving your self immage.
This bloke that is interested in you, go for it it will be a megga confidence boost, h... (read in full...)
Any advice for a porn addict trying to break free?
Q. I have a problem. Currently I'm single. Been that way for over a year now, despite various dates and the like I have not hooked up with anyone I really connected with. My problem is that I look at porn. Not too much, say once or twice a week, but if ...
A. 3 March 2006: Well, you seem to like the porn and dont seem to do it that oftern, yes it can wreck relationships but only if the partner does not like it or you do it far too much and by that I mean while they are watching soaps on tv you are bashing the bishop ... (read in full...)
I made a terrible mistake while blacked out drunk and slept with my boyfriend's brother...
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for i would say 6 months. It feels longer than that though because we were basically dating before but he just never asked me out. My mom let my boyfriends brother stay at our house because he got kicked out. ...
A. 3 March 2006: HI annacoolgirl, what you and your bloke have to accept is that what is done is done and no ammount of wishing it away will make it any the less so.
You were drunk, I have and still do the stupidest things when drunk, I oftern wake up in the cold... (read in full...)
Our first year anniversary meant a lot to me, but not to him.. Why!?
Q. If ur bf makes the statement that ur anniversity is just a day does that mean hes not serious about our relationship? Even ifs its our first year and that he gave me a promise ring? What is he thinkin? It really hurt me becuz our first year ...
A. 3 March 2006: He gave you a ring does that not say that he feels a lot for you.
I have never been one for remembering anniversaries, I find it difficult to remember birthdays and on some days my own name, lots of people are like me, it does not mean that we care... (read in full...)
I had sex with him but he was so ugly, I didn't want to be seen with him! It's over but I keep thinking about him??
Q. weve been going out with my bf for 2yrs with a 3mnth split in the middle. we split because i couldnt deal with him joining the army. when we were apart i ending up having regular sex with this bloke. he was very good in bed and i liked his ...
A. 2 March 2006: Grow up and make your mind up, you had a bloke and for no reason other than he wanted a career in the army you ditched him, then you meet and have fantastic sex with this other bloke who you treated apallingly and lets face it, you did not deserve ... (read in full...)
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