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*meedle agony aunt

*meedle

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*meedle's profile:

51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.

I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.

I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help.

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Husband is behaving secretively...is he having an affair?

Q.   my husband has been very secretive lately, i am really worried he is having an affair, he is 50 and i am 38, we have been together for 19 yrs and have 3 kids, i admit i have not been easy to live with but neither has he. but things that he tells me...

A.   9 January 2007: It definatly looks to me like he is either having an affair or working up to one, maybe he has someone at work who he fancies and they are flirting that could be why he is disapearing to text etc, but you are right to worry it all adds up to him ... (read in full...)

If I leave my family it will cause hurt...will I regret not being with my soul mate?

Q.   Sometimes we find what we are not looking for. My husband and I were in an alternative lifestyle, we were swingers. Well, we have been married for 17 years and had been doing that for 15 of those years. It has always ALWAYS been just fun on the ...

A.   29 December 2006: Having read your question, I felt sad that you cannot be together due to the hurt that you will give to everyone around you, then I had a coffee came back and now think that you must be together, you love each other and have something that we all ... (read in full...)

How long should you know an internet friend before meeting them in real life?

Q.   whens the best time to meet someone from the internet? how long should u wait before u meet them? ...

A.   29 November 2006: Hard to answer this one as it all depends on what type of friend they are, is the person the same sex as you, are they the same age, is it a friendship or dating site ? Caution is the watch word, dont meet anyone on your own, dont go off with them... (read in full...)

I'm in love with a guy who uses me!

Q.   I'm deeply in love with a guy that completely uses me. He flatters me (an unusual occurance for anyone to) non-stop until I feel safe enough with him and trust him enough to take my clothes off, on webcam. Then, he'll reluctantly talk to me and if i ...

A.   29 November 2006: Wow you have it bad for this snake, you know he is treating you badly and yet you cannot stop seeing him and wanting him, sadly the only time he wants you is when he wants a bit of fun and then he flatters you to get it then dumps you again when he ... (read in full...)

He hates public affection! Is there a reason behind this feeling?

Q.   I just started dating a man who informed me he does not like "public affection" I tried talking to him about it to understand it. I am very opposite and like holding hands. He does not. Or any sort of affection. Is anyone out there that can explain ...

A.   29 November 2006: We are all different and there may be a reason he is not openly affectionate, maybe he has not been shown much love, maybe he is shy, maybe he is married or with someone else and does not want to be seen being intimate. The only way to find out is t... (read in full...)

We are good friends and 'f*ck buddies' but I want more!

Q.   hi there. I really like this guy and we were just good freinds who went out on night outs together. Then one night we ended up going together we are now"fuck buddies" but i have fallen for him in a big way....how do i explain to him that i want mor...

A.   29 November 2006: The problem with sleeping with your friend is that your friend then becomes your lover and as you have found out love can and does enter into it. Having sex with someone other than for money or other gain is an emotional affair, you are inti... (read in full...)

I cheated, he forgave me, then believed a rumour we were having an affair so he dumped me! I want him back!

Q.   I cheated on my boyfriend of 6 years 2 years ago and he found out, he got really angry but he said he would forgive me, stupidly i started talking to the guy i cheated with and we became friends, my boyfriend found out and we fought constantly about ...

A.   29 November 2006: You need to accept that this is over, sounds to me like you were a little rocky when you cheated on him so it is no surprise to find that nothing has changed. Begging is not good and you should not do this it`s demoralising and gets you noht... (read in full...)

Is white vaginal discharge normal?

Q.   hi im 18 and a virgin, i have white stuff in my virgina from time to time is this normal? or when i get fingerd ect...that lad will think theirs somthing wrong!!? advice plz x...

A.   29 November 2006: Nothing wrong, when we get excited we get wet and that is just to help intercourse along a little, it is good to be as wet as possible just before sex, so relax the white stuff is just natures lubrication and normal. The only time to worry is if d... (read in full...)

What can I do about my depression?

Q.   I feel tired and like sad all over I haver even the feeling of this sadness in my bones I don not know how to cheer up any tips to get ok?...

A.   29 November 2006: I have a lot of sympathy for you, recently I have myself experienced depression and it overwhelmed me, it felt like i was in a big black hole, I would find myself crying for no real reason, i lost all purpose and certainly lost my identity and sense ... (read in full...)

My bf and I never had the spark that this new guy and I have - I'm torn on what to do!

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for five years, on and off. The off times have been because after a while I tend to get bored and think I'm too young for committment and that I'm missing out on something. I'm 22. I always end up back with my fella. I...

A.   28 November 2006: I bet he feels just like you, when relationships loose there spark it is usually felt by both parties it is just that the lines of communication are closed so we are not usually honest about such feelings. Tell him you feel the spark has gone and ... (read in full...)

When things are going perfect, he ignores me! He says it's just in my head - thoughts?

Q.   I'm very confused. I totally fell head over heals for this guy and everytime it seems things are going perfect he just all of a sudden ignores me at least for one day and then things are fine again. I think it is weird and I have brought it up more ...

A.   28 November 2006: Maybe it is in your head or maybe its not, none of that matters what does matter is that you like him and he seems to go off you every once in awhile and this hurts and messes with your head and your heart. Nothing in life goes to plan or at leas... (read in full...)

I want someone to like me back - any ideas?

Q.   This is pretty embaressing. I'm 15 and haven't had a boyfriend yet. I would say I am friendly to everyone, but guys don't like me like that. I like guys and right now I have a crush on one inpeticular, I just don't know what to do. I am not nerdy ...

A.   28 November 2006: Just be patient, some girls seem to get blokes really easily while others just dont, I always got them easily but they never lasted whilst my friend who did`nt start dating until she was 18 found Mr Right almost straight away and 23 years down the ... (read in full...)

I think my student fancies me

Q.   I am a high school teacher who's happily married and has a 2 year old son. I was doing some work after school when one of my Year 11 students came in. I'll admit for someone who is 16 she is attractive, but, I don't fancy her. The problem is that ...

A.   28 November 2006: You know your wife and how she would take it if you tell her, if she is the type of person who believes you and will support you and be happy you told her then go for it, someone to talk to about this would be good for you and support is always ... (read in full...)

Bf told me doesn't want marriage and lids and is basically ignoring me now! What can I do?

Q.   i need some advice, ive been in a relationship for just over 2 yrs. i love my boyfriend very much. however we have been having some problems recently. he doesnt want to go out with me anymore, goes out with his friends. hes lost interest in sex and ...

A.   28 November 2006: Read what you have wrote and wake up, it is only you that has an interest in this relaionship, any interest he had has well and truely gone, it is just that he is not brave or man enough to lay this on the line for you, you are just clinging to ... (read in full...)

First guy I like doesn't want us to do anything right now but the second one does, I don't know what to do!!

Q.   like *james* lives up my street but goes to a different school from me. Over the summer we got so close.I finally told him that i liked him and he said that he felt the same so i was like so should we start going out and he said not right at the ...

A.   28 November 2006: Make the move on James and tell him you want a relationship, tell him you like him but want to be with him now not sometime in the future, if he knocks you back then go all out to get Darren.... (read in full...)

My friend told him I like him...what do I do? Wait for him or act on it?

Q.   Okay, so i'm 15 and the guy i like is 16 (Jared). (i had a previous post concerning him and what to do). Well my friend told Jared that i like him. Now i don't know who's supposed to make the next move? Am i supposed to? and if so what should i do? ...

A.   28 November 2006: Go for it, we gain nothing and no one by just waiting for things to fall into our lap, if you get it wrong and he rejects you, swallow this and put it down as "just one of those things" but my guess is that it will all go fine and your way, good ... (read in full...)

She says "I am like her brother"! How do I turn her into my gf as I really like her?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have a 'friend' who i have been seeing alot lately whether it be a date, at my house for a swim or even we go shopping together. She has even called in sick at work just to spend the day with me (in my pool, lunch, then the movies)....

A.   28 November 2006: Be glad you have such a wonderful friend, she sounds like a friend that will always be with you to share the ups and downs of life, there to listen to you and hold you when your heart is breaking, there for you to confide in and talk things through ... (read in full...)

He watches porn and I am disgusted!!!!!!

Q.   i have been living with my partner for 2yrs and planned marriage, i loved him so much but now he has broke my heart,he said he watched porn once in a blue moon but i discovered otherwise-and what he watches is making me sick,all the girls look ...

A.   14 September 2006: My heart goes out to you, be strong and listen to what ponungalungb has to say. I worked with sex offenders for 20 years and believe me most like to look at the stuff he looks at and then it does oftern move on to searching for the "real" thin... (read in full...)

Hes not so good in the workplace, does this mean hes bad relationship material ?

Q.   No one is perfect? I met a guy from my working place, his working attitude is not so good, kind of messy and sluggish at times. He likes me, I hestiate cos Im worried that he can't be a good lover, since he is irresponsible in work, shall I give h...

A.   1 September 2006: listen to yourself I bet he could find faults with you if he tried, what has his work attitude to do with his attitude to relationships, you either like him or you dont if you do then go for it, stop thinking about things to much. He may also be d... (read in full...)

Its my best friends birthday, I have no money, any ideas on what I can make him ?

Q.   its my best male friends birthday today and Im totally broke! I dont think even if i did have any money i couldnt decide what to get him. Any ideas guys? I want to make something (im reasonably arty) or something thats personal to him or us. I kinda ...

A.   1 September 2006: Print him a T shirt with something personal on it, even if he wears it just to bed it will show you are thinking of him and put in a lot of effort, you get the kits from your local computer shop and the T-shirt from most shops and it is a relatively ... (read in full...)

Why cant I ever Orgasm... ?

Q.   Hi why cant i have an orgasm? Im 27 and have been with my husband for 10 years married for 2, i just cant seem to have an orgasm, he is a very considerate lover spends a lot of time on foreplay (a lot of time) but no matter how much i try to re...

A.   1 September 2006: Have you had other sexual partners or is this man your first, if so you may have very limited experience of techniques and positions etc, I would try looking at "educational" DVD`s and do some internet research, both of you were young when you got ... (read in full...)

If move out my dad will suffer, its just getting to much for me!

Q.   i am a gay man in his thirtys still saring a house with his father my boy friend asked me to look after his dog for a day but my father will not let it in the house he also will not exept that i am gay he can not keep the house with out the money he ...

A.   17 August 2006: Tell your controlling father the facts, your money enable him to keep the house, you are gay and proud of it so he needs to accept this and get over it, you have a friend who has a dog and you want to help the friend out by having the dog stay for ... (read in full...)

I swallowed. How long does it stay in my body?

Q.   Hi im 18 years old in a good relationship. I was just wondering how long does semen (cum) stay in my body/ bloodstream after i swallow my bfs? Any replies gr8ly apreciated!!!!!! thanx...

A.   17 August 2006: Stays in body just as long as any other stuff you ingest.... (read in full...)

Unhappy and depressed, and scared of something,am I going Mad?

Q.   Everything bores me. I feel unhappy and depressed constantly. I feel like there's nothing to look forward to in life and there is absolutely no point in life. I can't remember the last time I really enjoyed myself. ...

A.   17 August 2006: You are not going mad but you are suffering depression, not sure what has triggered this but a visit to the doctor ensuring you tell him how you are feeling and leave nothing out is the order for the day. ... (read in full...)

Caught him with his pants down, was it more to it?

Q.   hi, my bf and i have been together 3 years, about 10months ago i saw my bf doing something which i have always qestioned in my mind. im 20 his 25. one day i was coming home afer school early , i opened our front door and walked in and saw my bf st...

A.   17 August 2006: Ditch him, he is lying and was caught, you love him and he knows this and is using this to manipulate the situation. Read what you wrote and take off the rose coloured glasses, you came home early he was caught with pants down. For god`s sake sto... (read in full...)

Sweet ~22~ and never been kissed! How do I get guys to notice me?

Q.   I'm already 22 years old, but until now I never had a boyfriend. I've got so many crushes. How can I get them notice me? please help... Thanks!...

A.   17 August 2006: You need to be brave and ask someone out, if you fancy them and you suspect they fancy you then just go for it. If you are not this confident and I suspect you may not be then you will have to resort to either asking a mate to approach love inte... (read in full...)

Why does my boyfriend hate my ex? They've never met!

Q.   I am in a new relationship after being with my ex boyfriend for seven years. My new guy is a nice person except that he has a jealous streak and constantly makes nasty references to my ex...he has never met him and it bothers me. I still hold my ex ...

A.   17 August 2006: Martini has answered the question but just to add to it, I think you need to sit new man down, tell him his slagging off of the ex is annoying you and it stops right now, you have a past and are entitled to it, you are no longer with ex you are now ... (read in full...)

Should I just kiss him first or wait until he makes the move?

Q.   Alright....This Adam Guy asked me (finally) if I wanted to be his "girl." Well, I said yes, of course. It's been about 1 week and 3 days and he still hasn't kissed me?? Should I kiss him first. There has been about 2 or 3 times when It could've ...

A.   17 August 2006: Go for it, sounds to me like he is shy or the indecisive type. enjoy!!... (read in full...)

At 16 I was raped-is this why I am not into sex with my bf?

Q.   ok.. i think i might be having a problem.. me and my boyfriend have been together for 1year and 5months and we have been living together for 7months and right now our sex life really isnt going anywhere.. he is all about sex but i have never been ...

A.   17 August 2006: First you need to get some councelling or advice as it is certainly a contributing factor to your not wanting sex, then you need to talk to him and tell him you need time and space to get over the rape, you are getting help and from him you want ... (read in full...)

Is he after an affair?

Q.   A married man keeps winking at me and telling me i've seen his 'nice side'.... do you think hes after an affair?...

A.   17 August 2006: He is probably testing you, he may fancy you and is doing a bit of flirting, it has had the desired effect, it has bothered or irritated you and made you think, that is what he wanted!! He is saying that if you want more then come and get it. ... (read in full...)

He says I go on about stuff all the time, But if he wont talk to me what else can I do!!?

Q.   Hi, My bf and I have been seeing each other for over a year, we have been arguing alot lately, he says that Im irrational and over the top about stuff when i try to tell him that i feel hurt about something and dismisses my feelings. he says he'...

A.   26 June 2006: Sounds like you like to have things out in the open and he prefers to keep things to himself, unless you can meet in the middle and agree a happy comfortable compromise there really is no long term future.... (read in full...)

Will masturbation cause me illness?

Q.   i masturbate almost 4-5 times a day . is it normal and would it cause any kind of cancer os some other disease. I am 17...

A.   23 June 2006: It is free, uncomplicated and good for the soul so go ahead and enjoy!!... (read in full...)

How do I masturbate? Advice please?

Q.   i'm 15. i dont masturbate. am i ment to? cos a lot of people say everybody maturbates. second question is how do you masturbate?...

A.   19 June 2006: Martini has as usual covered the basics and has given you ideas to get you started if that is what you desire, maybe not such a good idea to start rubbing yourself up against the washing machine when your folks are around, they may view this as ... (read in full...)

24 yr old virgin with very experienced guy! Afraid he'll tell everybody on a drunken night out!

Q.   I am a 24 yr old virgin, and recently met a (very experienced) guy through mutual friends. I'm not embarrassed to tell him I'm a virgin, but I am embarrassed about our friends finding out. On a drunken boys' nights out, he sometimes lets slip with ...

A.   11 June 2006: If you worry about what he will say to his mates and by all accounts your worries are well founded then give this guy a miss, he is not worth the trouble and look out for someone who is a little less of a jack the lad to loose your virginity with, ... (read in full...)

BF of 9 years was unfaithful but says he doesn't have feelings for this other woman!

Q.   I need help please. I recently found out that my boyfriend of 9 years was being unfaithful to me. He is at university and we live 300 miles apart. I discovered as I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right and looked on his mobile phone, and ...

A.   11 June 2006: Forget this bloke, he is just no good. The sooner you get over him the better as yes some people can have sex and it mean nothing, that is why men like prostitutes, there is no emotional attraction or baggage, it is quick and uncomplicated sex with... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin lesbian - when she found out, she left! Did I make a big mistake?

Q.   Cupid.. I am a lesbain.. my friends make fun of me.. it hurts my feelings.. I was kissing this girl and she said that she wanted to take it further so we went up to this room and i told her I was a virgin and she left. Did I make a big mistake? ...

A.   11 June 2006: No you were honest, she may just have decided that she did not want to be "the one" and maybe she was not sure you really wanted sex with someone who you did not really know and who had no intentions of being your partner, to me this person sounds ... (read in full...)

Was he really talking to his sister?

Q.   My b/f and i were at his apartment last night. We were in his bedroom and his phone rang indicating a text message. It was almost 2 am. He goes to the other room to get his phone and said it was his sister. He stays there for a minute or two and i ...

A.   11 June 2006: Probably innocent but you just will never know, you will just have to trust him on this as you have no evidence to suggest otherwise. But yes it is strange about the mom thing!! slip of the tongue maybe.... (read in full...)

I have a very hairy stomach and don't know if it's normal!

Q.   im 15 years old and have hair growing on my stomach and i mean all up and down and on my sides, is this normal and how do i tell when it will stop growing and do girlz like people with hairy stomach...

A.   11 June 2006: Do not worry about it, we all have bits of us we do not like or would rather change a bit, but if it really gets you down then find a hair removal product or go to the local beauty shop as lots of guys do now. Martini likes girls that resemble cats... (read in full...)

What turns a man on about a women?

Q.   Im needing a mans opinion on this, women are welcome. What turns a man on about a woman. Im wanting to spark up my relationship with my husband and I want him to desire me the way he used to when we first started dating. I try to do the things that ...

A.   7 June 2006: Martini, I might!! but what would my reward be, oh the naughtyness!!... (read in full...)

What turns a man on about a women?

Q.   Im needing a mans opinion on this, women are welcome. What turns a man on about a woman. Im wanting to spark up my relationship with my husband and I want him to desire me the way he used to when we first started dating. I try to do the things that ...

A.   7 June 2006: Right well ignore Martini, he clearley needs more help than you do, If I was you I would stop trying I would go totally the opposite of what you do now and just for a time try not bothering, you should just masterbate yourself nightly and definatly ... (read in full...)

What are the men looking for in a woman to grow old with?

Q.   This is a question to the men. What are you really looking for in a woman?. I am talking about the woman you want to settle down with and grow old with. Please be honest....

A.   6 June 2006: Martini the order for your perfect woman has gone into the perfect woman shop, she will be available for you to collect a week on monday, unfortunatly she comes at a price but the price does includes patches!! and she is programmed to never say NO ... (read in full...)

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