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... Send *meedle a private message | | | *meedle's profile:51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.
I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.
I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help. |
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My girlfriend was raped and doesn't want to talk about it. Can I help?
Q. A few months ago, my girlfriend went over to a friend's house to drink and party. While there he took her phone and when I called, he told me not to call her anymore and that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. The problem is, later on some of ...
A. 17 April 2006: All you can do it keep being there for her and finding out the names of the places in her area that could help her if she does choose to get help.
In england you can ring a confidential helpline called the Samaritans and they listen and for a lot ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was raped and doesn't want to talk about it. Can I help?
Q. A few months ago, my girlfriend went over to a friend's house to drink and party. While there he took her phone and when I called, he told me not to call her anymore and that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. The problem is, later on some of ...
A. 17 April 2006: If at all possible tell your friend to go to the police, at the very least she needs to talk in confidence to a rape councillor or other proffessional.
She needs a pregnancy test and an STD check all as a matter of urgency.
Support your friend a... (read in full...)
What can I do about a... smell?
Q. My vagina always smells fishy. What can I do to stop the smell? I'm too embarrassed to do stuff with boys because of this! Help!...
A. 17 April 2006: Go see your doctor, you may have an infection that is easily cleared up and if not at least the doctor can put your mind at rest.
Wash at least twice daily using non perfumed soap and wear cotton knickers, we all have some smell to our vagina and ... (read in full...)
He won't date friends' sisters, so he says. Could he change his mind?
Q. Hi I have a question do you think it is possible that someone can change their mindset?? Okay so I really like this guy we get on really well. There's like a tension and we flirt and stuff. The problem is that he is my brother's friend. My bro...
A. 17 April 2006: Wise guy, it is never good to date friends brothers or sisters as it puts strains on the friendship and can oftern result in the ruining of a good solid friendship.
My guess is that he enjoys your company as a friend and this is how it will stay... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend only with me because his ex rejected him?
Q. Hi im in a bit of a tricky situation and I really need some advice before i drive myself crazy. Ive been seeing a guy since last august n its now starting to get serious. The problem is his ex. He was with her for nearly four years and I actually...
A. 17 April 2006: Sounds like he is definatly not over his ex and still has a strong pull to her, he may have met you on the re-bound and that is not good for your relationship as he has not moved on.
Talk to him about this and do not let him fob you off, tell him ... (read in full...)
My boarding school teachers have broken me up with my older boyfriend...
Q. Hi im 13 years old and my biyfriend -well ex now is 17 but when we wer goin out we loved each other loads + still do.I go to a boarding school and some of the teachers found out that we were together and have now split us up.I know that they just ...
A. 17 April 2006: Calm down and take a deep breath, yes the school have a moral responsibility for your welfare while they are in effect your gaurdian, so best way to deal with this is to respect what they have said but to write or talk to your parents and him to his ... (read in full...)
Is it a good thing to be like my girlfriend's Dad?
Q. i have been compared to my girlfriends dad in more than one way. actually lots of ways. I have even noticed ways i am like him. Is this a good thing to be like her dad?...
A. 17 April 2006: You may be similar but you are not him so stop worrying, oftern people go out with blokes who have some familiar characteristics like kindness.
Stop worrying.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has disappeared!
Q. Hello, I'm really getting conserned. I've written recently about my bf who came from New York on Thurs, but hasn't bothered to call me nor text me as his phone is off. Now I find myself worried because he has basically disappeared, he sent m...
A. 17 April 2006: If you are worried something has happened to him then contact his friends and family so they can reassure you.
If you find he is ok then tell him that you are deeply hurt but to be honest it sounds like he is having a lot of fun and cannot be both... (read in full...)
Abortion advice needed!
Q. Hey people, first post on here. I'm 17, going to university in september to study veterinary medicine. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months and having sex for bout 6 months... few weeks ago we had sex in the middle of my cycle, ...
A. 16 April 2006: Get test done and go see your local brook advisory centre for young people, they will give you all the confidential advice you need for now and in the future.
you will also get advice on contraception and can have a health check up.
your partner ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I'm too young to be out at night... And I'm twenty!
Q. Hello, Should I be concerned? I am newly turned 20 years old, my boyfriend is twenty six. We have been dating for almost two years. He has no problem with me having a social life, and having friends. But the part that concerns me is this: He says ...
A. 16 April 2006: Eddie has a point, but you need to regain some controle of the situation, you can tell him you are going out with some girlfriends and ask him to pick you up at an agreed time and place, this will make him feel better as he will know you are safe.
I... (read in full...)
We've broken up but I still love her...
Q. dear cupid, my girlfriend and i have recently split up, she says she has feeling for someone else but i still love her more than anything, what should i do ?...
A. 16 April 2006: Let her go, play second fiddle to no one.
She wants someone else then that is the way it is going, just let her get on with it, she is moving on and you in time will also find someone new, you love her but in time the intense feelings will fade and ... (read in full...)
I'm washing my hair...
Q. I need to get out of a date tonight-what excuse can I use?...
A. 16 April 2006: If you dislike him this much just tell him, it is far better in the end.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I look at these pictures AND spank the monkey?
Q. I have a question, and I'm especially interested in hearing from the women who are bothered when their husbands or boyfriends are looking at porn. You see, I don't really like hard-core porn and rarely bother with it. I do look at other pictures ...
A. 16 April 2006: What exactly do you look at, You can bet that your wife is not so stupid that she thinks you just look at the pictures, she knows you wank over them and is just accepting this, you said yourself she does`nt like it.
... (read in full...)
In in the USA, she's in Japan... We were planning to get married until some slick yank swept her off her feet!
Q. I have a fiance and we are in a long distance relationship. She lives in Japan and I live in the US right now. Recently she met some guy after I left and she is confused and doesn't know what to do. She asked me for time to think about who she ...
A. 16 April 2006: Wake up, she has found another bloke, this means she has strayed and is having an affair.
Why do you allow her to treat you in this awful way, no way on earth should you be considering marrying her, her engagment to you means nothing this she has ... (read in full...)
Any chance of my ex getting over her rebound relationship and coming back to me>
Q. Hey guys, Me again. My girfriend is seeing a guy (started seeing him less than 2 weeks after we broke up) who is the complete opposite of me, and now she doesn't even hang out with the group of friends that we always hang out with (we were fr...
A. 16 April 2006: Write the letter and see what comes of it, but be prepared for a negative response, she has moved on and sees you as a friend, you have not moved on and still see her as a potential girlfriend.
The more you see of her the longer it will take to get ... (read in full...)
Without TV or movies, I don't think my boyfriend and I would interact at all!
Q. I care for my boyfriend a lot, but I think there a lack of communication and it does not seem to flow so easy, which find hard to believe because were been with each a quite a while: 7 months now. I talk to him mostly every day, but online I...
A. 16 April 2006: Ask yourself if this relationship is right for you, you seem to need more from him than he is giving and you seem to be starting to get more from the new bloke you talk to so what does that tell you.
It tells me that you have already started to loos... (read in full...)
Why won't he text me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm still finding myself in a tricky situation. My bf arrived from overseas last week (Thurs), I rarely get messages from him as he doesn't have a mobile that's working properly in the country. He went out with friends for drinks...
A. 16 April 2006: Maybe the reality of being home is not as good as the relationship you have long distance.
If it was me I would be hurt and angry, he should have put you before his mates and he did not so you need to do something about it.
Go find him and tell him... (read in full...)
Broke up when I was roaring drunk. I never wanted to do that, so do I have a chance to get him back?
Q. Hi, I recently split with my bf and it was the over the stupidest thing. I got really drunk said some things I didn't mean to say, shouted it's over. Thing is though that's the worst thing that could happen. I am totally crazy about him and woul...
A. 16 April 2006: You just have to bite the bullet and grovel, say how sorry you are and that you did not mean it, and then tell him that you dont want it to be over and in fact want to start seeing him again.
Tell him you have now learnt that you say stupid thin... (read in full...)
I've known her a week.. is it going too fast?
Q. Hi, maybe I just want some reassurance but do you people think that this could work? I met a girl 26, I am 32 a couple of weeks ago when I was out for a night on the town. I won't lie, we were very attracted to each other and by the end of the n...
A. 15 April 2006: Go for it, none of us know what will happen in the long term when we start a relationship so just go with it and dont think about it so much, enjoy!!... (read in full...)
He hasn't called and I feel like I don't matter to him anymore!
Q. please help me. I'm so annoyed. My bf arrived from overseas on Thursday, I haven't heard from him, hasn't called me, hasn't made plans to get together. While he was away, he expressed how much he loves me, and misses me etc etc, and now that We're ...
A. 15 April 2006: If it was me I would not be so understanding, yes he wants to see his family and he now has so why is he not in your arms.
I would not wait for him to contact me, I would go around to see him or at the very least ring him and say you want to see ... (read in full...)
His ex boyfriend stole him from me!!!
Q. I need help! i meet a lad who is 18 4 months ago, we were friends, and at the time he was in a relationship which went terribly wrong for him, i was there for him to support him whilst he was moving on with his life from his x bf, we then got ...
A. 15 April 2006: There is not much you can do, your ex is now your ex as he decided to go back with his ex, you can walk away with your head held high and accept his decision or you can remain his friend and continue to support him and wait for it all to go wrong as ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my teacher!!
Q. I've been in love with my teacher for over a year. sometimes we spend the break together talking and when we meet (in corridors) he always talks to me but when i m close to him i feel the urge to kiss him but i resist it. I' ve finished school b...
A. 15 April 2006: If he read what you had wrote he would be horrified, he is a good teacher who`s only mistake is to be over friendly with you.
He wants you to get good grades he does not want a relationship with you, and if he ever did have one he would be sack... (read in full...)
He doesnt work and never goes out but says I have let him down!!
Q. HI ve been with my bf 5 years we have 1 child and live together..trouble is he doesnt work...he blames me and says i nag to much but even when i told him i was pregnant he didnt work i worked full time and now i work part time supporting all of ...
A. 15 April 2006: What on earth are you doing with this moron, he is using you and abusing you, just get him out and keep him out, stop his freeloading now.
Yes you have a child with him but being a single mum is better than living with a sponging lazy git who is s... (read in full...)
No other man compares to my ex-boyfriend and all I do is think about him!
Q. My name is Krysta. I am 17 years old. My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for 7 months now. We dated for 2 years and I am still in love him. I have tried to move on and see other people and have but after seeing the other people I always come ...
A. 15 April 2006: Does he have a new girlfriend, if he has then you have to accept that he has done what you are struggling to do, move on, we all take different times to get over different relationship breakups and 2 years was a long time to be with someone.
If he i... (read in full...)
Not seen my boyfriend for 7 months, now he returns all I get is "take care" - is he telling me something?
Q. Dear Cupid, What happens when in a loving relationship the one partner shows more affection than the other, especially when the other partner used to express their feeling so much? I've found myself in a situation where I feel as though I'm lovin...
A. 15 April 2006: He has told you without words that he is just not interested in a full on relationship with you now.
He is slowly dumping you and he is just not man enough to tell you.
This is not the way to treat a partner.
Tell him you want to see him and talk... (read in full...)
He's got me to sign a "relationship agreement" (pre-nup) - am I being old fashioned by thinking this is out of order!?
Q. Hi, I have been living with my partner of two years for 3 months now. He has asked me to sign a relationship agreement effectively contracting out of NZ's defacto law. First I was hurt and angry, then I thought he should keep all that he has work...
A. 15 April 2006: NO you are no being old fashioned, he is just being mean.
Your rights change when you have kids and if I was you I would not sign any agreement that was for future earnings, that is silly, what if you stay home looking after the kids, he has an affa... (read in full...)
He's making me feel unimportant... Should we just be friends instead?
Q. Ive known Derek since Sept last year, we met three times and then he went scotland to work for 3 weeks. We missed eachother then when he returned, he wanted to meet me twice in one week. We met on the tues then we were meant to meet fri eve but i ...
A. 15 April 2006: You feel undervalued as a partner and that it is all one sided, he calls the shots and you have to live with it, or lump it.
It does indeed look to be a one sided relationship and yes I think you should tell him that you would just like to be frie... (read in full...)
My parents aren't keen on my relationship (different race, faiths) and that they know we're incompatible anyway!
Q. I am a 20 year old girl, with a boyfriend of the same age. We've been seeing each other for a little over a year now.. Thing is.. i really really like this guy, and we are very happy together. However, we are of different race, religion, and cu...
A. 15 April 2006: Dazzerg is right, it is your life and your happiness and your decision.
Your life to be with who you want as long as it is for the right reasons like love and although you respect your parents it is ultimatly not there decision who you see and who ... (read in full...)
I kissed two guys when I was away, so doesn't that say something about my feelings for my boyfriend?
Q. I previously posted this as a question and got some great feedback, however the situation has since moved on and now I need new advice: "I have been with my boyfriend for six years. I am now 21. Recently we have been going through a bad patch (abo...
A. 15 April 2006: If he was "the one" you would know by now, he is definatly not "the one" and I suspect you will have a lot of relationships before you find the true one, if indeed you ever do and most of us dont but we have a lot of fun and sometimes heartache ... (read in full...)
I am in love with and doing oral stuff with my sisters bf!!!
Q. I'm really worried. My 18 year old sister has a 17 year old boyfriend who i really love. I'm more compatable with him than she is and lately we seemed to be getting on really well (i'm 14) and we're great friends. The thing is a while ago when he ...
A. 15 April 2006: Im not going to tell you to stop seeing this bloke because you clearly have no intentions of doing so.
You know what you are doing is wrong and that what ever happens your sister is going to get really hurt and not even that bothers you, you just... (read in full...)
He dumped me, but when we met again we kissed, and then he said he wanted another go! What's going on?
Q. On Tuesday my boyfriend of 4 months dumped me over the internet. Wednesday we met, coz he and I felt he should tell me his feelings in person. We broke up because he didn't see it going anywhere. He was scared that it was getting too serious ...
A. 15 April 2006: Sounds like the relationship could do with more honesty, more talking and more making up!!
Do what you feel is right in your heart and not in your head, if you love him and he loves you and you feel there is still life in the relationship then give... (read in full...)
He always looks at porn and masturbates everywhere..even when talking to me on the phone! What should I do?
Q. im 18 years old and ive been going out with my boyfriend for over a year now. my problem is that he always looks at porn and masturbates (even at my house on my computer, on the phone with me, ...and once he looked at porn in the school library and ...
A. 15 April 2006: Sounds like he loves masturbating and this has taken controle of him.
I dont know of any men that masturbate straight after sex unless he did not orgasm.
Sounds like he gets his kicks from masturbating in public places or anywhere for that matter a... (read in full...)
Don't want to look like an idiot when we snog... can anyone give me some guidance?
Q. I go out with this real sexy girl. She loves me and I love her. We kiss all the time and she lets me touch her ass but I don't know how to get off with her. I want like a guide like what to do with my tongue and stuff, but I'm scared to tell her...
A. 15 April 2006: Sounds like you are both lovely people and that you respect her, so just take it slowly and follow her lead, you are doing what comes naturally and as long as you are relaxed the rest will follow.
... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to give -- or receive -- oral sex! Says she doesn't like it...
Q. My girlfriend doesn't want to give me oral sex Hi, I was wondering if you could give me a tip of how to handle this situation. I have been dating my girl for a few months and she is fantastic. Our sex life is great except for the fact that she do...
A. 15 April 2006: Get over it, just because you have had it from all your other relationships does not mean you need it from this, she has told you she has done it in the past and hated it so this is surely enough to tell you that she knows what she likes and ... (read in full...)
Missing my boyfriend so much now that he's joined the Air Force! Any advice to help me get through this?
Q. My boyfriend of eight months recently left for the Air Force. I'm having a very hard time with it, as you could imagine. We spent nearly every day together, and we love each other very much. My life just feels so empty without him. I am only 18, but ...
A. 15 April 2006: Write to him daily, he may not be able to reply daily but that does not mean he would`nt if he could.
Ring him as much as possible and believe me when he comes home on leave you will have missed each other so much that it will be a fantastic reun... (read in full...)
Am I onto a lost cause? If I don't ring him, I don't see him...
Q. Hello all, I would love some new perspectives on my situation. I have been seeing a guy for a few months now, probably around once a week. He both have busy lives and rarely speak in between meeting each other. We both really enjoy each others ...
A. 15 April 2006: Try one last time to talk to him about this as it is obviously bothering you a lot.
Tell him you want to see more of him, even if it is initially just another night a week, (no one is that busy)
Tell him you are lonely
Tell him he needs to rin... (read in full...)
My BF is spending time with my mate and he hardly ever comes to see me!
Q. I've been suspended and since I've been gone, my boyfriend has been hanging around with my mate. She doesn't pose a threat to me, so why do I feel jealous Also my boyfriend hardly ever comes to see me and I don't know why, but it's making me d...
A. 15 April 2006: Maybe your boyfriend is unhappy with what you did to get suspended, maybe he is getting grief from his parents or mates for being involved with you after your suspension.
you need to ask him what is going on, this is the only way you will find out.... (read in full...)
My new wife is into exhibitionism. I love it now, but where will it all end?
Q. I have been having an relationship with my current partner for almost 8 months now and I think we have a great sex life but I am not sure where it will end ? We slept together on our first date and it was really good, we had known each other fo...
A. 15 April 2006: Lots of guys will be reading this thinking you lucky bugger!!,
If you are comfortable with what she wants then enjoy but be sure to tell her when she wants stuff you are not comfortable with, and that includes introducing a third party.
There... (read in full...)
My new wife is into exhibitionism. I love it now, but where will it all end?
Q. I have been having an relationship with my current partner for almost 8 months now and I think we have a great sex life but I am not sure where it will end ? We slept together on our first date and it was really good, we had known each other fo...
A. 15 April 2006: Lots of guys will be reading this thinking you lucky bugger!!,
If you are comfortable with what she wants then enjoy but be sure to tell her when she wants stuff you are not comfortable with, and that includes introducing a third party.
There... (read in full...)
Was our sex consensual or was I sexually assualted?
Q. I want to know if I was indeed sexually assaulted by my ex-boyfriend. I was sleeping at his house (we had done this several times but I had never had sex with him), and I woke up to him starting to finger me. He also gave me oral sex. I was surp...
A. 15 April 2006: Sounds like assault, and as for the crap he told you about doing it in his sleep well what a load of rubbish.
You have done the right thing in finishing with him and telling the police but im sure no charges will be bought as it is very merkey and ... (read in full...)
Broke up Saturday, back together Wednesday, broken up again Wednesday night. What's going on?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me recently, last Saturday, saying that we fight too much and argue too much. I am 18 and she is 15. After talking about things she said she still wanted to see me now and again while meeting other people. We met in perso...
A. 15 April 2006: She is playing with your head and you are letting her, accept her decision to finish and as hard as it will be you need to walk away and dont turn back.
She maybe influenced by her mum but she has her own mind and you have yours, you must see that... (read in full...)
I kissed two guys when I was away, so doesn't that say something about my feelings for my boyfriend?
Q. I previously posted this as a question and got some great feedback, however the situation has since moved on and now I need new advice: "I have been with my boyfriend for six years. I am now 21. Recently we have been going through a bad patch (abo...
A. 15 April 2006: This is an easy one to answer, you your self have all but answered, you have outgrown each other and that is that.
Time to finish it and move on, you have kissed two blokes and you enjoyed it, this tells you that you are ready for a new man in your... (read in full...)
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