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... Send *meedle a private message | | | *meedle's profile:51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.
I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.
I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help. |
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We've been married for 3 years, living together for 13, hes cheated since we got married, and is still in contact, how can I make him give her up ?
Q. my husband of 3 years, living together for 13 years has had an affair since we got married. Now he says that he wants me and loves me but can't get his lover out of his head and don't know what to do. he promises me every week that he won't text her ...
A. 31 May 2006: You cannot stop this and quite frankly you should not waste your time trying, he is not worth it.
He may still be seeing her and even if he is not you can be sure he is thinking of it, even texting her when he knows it upsets you is a betr... (read in full...)
All of a sudden he doesnt want to get married, and cannot give me explanation! What should I do ?
Q. I was due to get married on August 19th. My fiance told me that he doesnt want to get married and he isnt sure if we have a future. He says he loves me and doesnt want to hurt me, but other than this he cannot give me a reason why this has ...
A. 31 May 2006: Who knows what is going on in his head, he sounds to me like he is getting cold feet and that is that.
You need to decide if you can be bothered waiting around for him to make up his mind.
Talk to him and tell him that if he can give you some ans... (read in full...)
How can you tell if a teenage boy is a attacted to a teenage girl ?
Q. question 1 - if a teenage boy finds a teenage girl attractive and fancies her, when he looks at her what is his reaction? what is his face expression? question 2 - a magazine said they give a girl the 'smokey look' when they fancy her but what doe...
A. 31 May 2006: Everyone is different there is no "look" it is not the looks but the smiles and the words that mean something.
If you like a bloke then dont wait for him to make the first move, you go chat to him and see what happens.
Take no notice about what m... (read in full...)
My guy just wants to be friends with me! What should I do?
Q. my partner of 1 yr wants to be friends,he lost his job 5 wks ago also he has a daughter of 3yrs old who he hasnt seen for over a yr which is getting him down,do i just be friends and wait a while to see what happens?...
A. 31 May 2006: He is going through a tough time, I recently got made redundant and it felt like a bereavment, I knew my world was not really going to crumble but for a time I lost all sence of reality, I worried about money and my house, car, cats in fact ... (read in full...)
All I could do was think of him when we were apart, but he rings an ex....
Q. myself and my man just recently moved in together,we get on well but when we argue he seems to take it too far and drag it out, anyway we had a major fall out last week and he moved out. we got back together and we where getting back on track then ...
A. 31 May 2006: He was hurting and sulking and it was his way of getting back at you, this ringing her made him feel better and that is that, you were not together and yes you were thinking of him and in a round about way he was thinking of you, we are all ... (read in full...)
What does premature ejaculation mean?
Q. hiya just a quick question that im concerned about...what does it mean when a man ejeculates too quick during sex?...
A. 31 May 2006: He comes faster than either he or is partner want, so usually neither of them are fully satisfied sexually.
Loads you can do to get over this and it need not be a problem for long, and is no reflection on either party just one of those things that... (read in full...)
I like guys and girls but in different ways. Am I the only one like this?
Q. I'm facing a problem now with regards to being sexually attracted to woman. I get attracted to men far more quicker as opposed to an ordinary girl, when I find myself attracted to a woman there is hardly, basically almost no sexual excitemen...
A. 31 May 2006: Maybe you are gay and if so thats fine, you may be bi sexual or you may just have not had enough sexual encounters to know what you are or what you want.
You need to experiment and try things out, be open with your self and honest, if something or s... (read in full...)
I have a bf but I think I'm in love with another! What should I do?
Q. I'm 19 and have been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 2years and everything is amazing (cliche i know)! During my last year of School i became incredibly good friends with this boy (Josh) (we were the leads in the same play)! We hung out with ...
A. 31 May 2006: You want it all dont you, well sadly you cannot have it all, you need to make choices and as martini says you need to either finish with current and persue Josh or forget Josh and put all your energies into making your relationship work.
Josh soun... (read in full...)
Please help, My flirting is out of control !!!
Q. i have a problem, im way to big of a flirt.....and im afraid its makeing my bf jelous! when ever i talk to any guy, i tend to flirt...not on purpous....i just do, and my friends notis it all the time, but i really dont.....though,...
A. 31 May 2006: Ask yourself the question, if your fella flirted with women the way you do with men, would this be ok.
We flirt with people to attract there attention, when they flirt back it makes us feel good, it also tells us the other person is interested in u... (read in full...)
We've been together 12 years, he left and came back and promised me the world, now he doesnt even hold me what should I do ?
Q. my partner and i have been together 12 years, with one child.the year before last he left me on my birthday, and returned in april 2005,promising me the worldetc etc.since then he has tried to move the goal posts. i always wanted to marry him, he ...
A. 31 May 2006: Time to pull yourself together and call it a day, you have tried and tried to make it work and he has lied and promised changes that he never intended to happen.
Dont take it anymore, if you cannot throw him out they you find somewhere else to live... (read in full...)
What's making these guys fall for their booty calls?
Q. It seems that more and more girls are controling bootycall situations.Girls are taking control of the bedroom with a new sexual independence. I have noticed a trend in the forum where the boys are falling in love with their bootycalls ,where as the ...
A. 31 May 2006: Women are now more independant and with that comes the shot calling, they know what they want and how to get it, men tried for years to put a stop to this by not giving women the vote, the men of the day knew with the vote would steadily grow a ... (read in full...)
I moved in with My partner and his teenage son, I feel like im a housemaid that gets critiscised all the time and its getting me down!
Q. I am a 28 year old woman I have recently moved in with my older partner and his teenage son. Although I love my partner dearly and I am a very strong and out spoken person I cant help but feel I am being taken for granted. I dont just mean in the ...
A. 31 May 2006: Sounds like he is using you and expecting you to "earn your keep" "be grateful for the roof" etc.
Stand up to him and say NO, if he continues to not listen then make him listen to the sound of your feet as you walk away and dont turn back.
Life ... (read in full...)
He says that it would be so easy to cheat on me, but he don't want to....what am I supposed to think about this?
Q. My b/f i think has a lot of sexual experience. We have gotten into a lot of arguments about various things not just trust and all that. He says he does not want to argue as much and its too stressful. He said if he wanted to mess around on me--he ...
A. 31 May 2006: Ditch the guy, he is leading you on, no way is sex available to anyone that easily unless he is a adonis and even then I doubt it.
He is just telling you all this stuff so you think you are lucky to have him, to let you know in his world there are ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on someone, what should I do?
Q. i have a crush on a boy who lives down my road. we go to the same school but he's in year 8 and i'm in year 7. his sister is my little sister's best friend. i've known him for years. i can't stop dreaming about me and him kissing and going on dates. ...
A. 31 May 2006: Carry on dreaming about him, this is fine and is a normal part of development and growing up.
We all get crushes on people and sometimes these develope into a relationship and other times they just stay as a fantasy.
You need to decide which ca... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to talk about this, but I feel alone.....
Q. I am a 26 year old male who has been in a relationship with my girlfriend for just over four years. When we entered this relationship she was physical and sexual, but shortly after the official commitment, the sexual activity dropped. I love her, I ...
A. 31 May 2006: Sadly when we meet someone we act differently to how we really are, this is because in the initial stages we want to impress and it is all new, we can and do have sex a lot more at the start than we do when we are "in the relationship" at first you ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about my boss, help!!!
Q. I think my boss is interested in me and I can't get him off of my mind. What should I do?...
A. 31 May 2006: Are you interested in him ? what makes you sure he is interested in you, be careful and oftern going out with the boss causes all kinds of resentment and trouble at work, not to mention the issues of is he married and does he have kids, then there ... (read in full...)
I want to stop caring about him, but I don't know how!
Q. hi, how do you stop caring about someone, you know its the right thing to do , but when ever you let your guard down they are back in your head. i dont think im in love with him , but i do feel alot of feelings there still. it has been 2 yea...
A. 31 May 2006: I am so sorry that you got involved with this low life, he has lied to you and treated you badly.
You know not being with him is not just the right thing, but for you and your son it is the safest thing, this bloke is dangerouse.
Getting over som... (read in full...)
I am having an affair with my teacher from school
Q. about 3 months ago i received a telephone call from a teacher at my school, telling me that i was invited to a revision session. When i got there however, it was just me and my teacher as the others couldn't make it at such short notice. We began ...
A. 31 May 2006: What he is doing is wrong, both of you know this and both of you are putting his carreer at risk, which to my mind is a good thing as he needs to be sacked.
I know people fall for each other but what he has done is given you drink, filled you full... (read in full...)
Got a date with a guy from college who has a girlfriend
Q. "Hi,I met a guy a few weeks ago-there was some flirting and instant chemistry but was spoiled by the fact he has a girlfriend-but we are going to go out next week. I am coming to the end of my studies and so is he so in a few weeks time we shall be ...
A. 31 May 2006: If all you want is a bit of fun and nothing but that then dont go out with him, for the sake of your bit of fun he will be cheating on his girlfriend if indeed he does, and there is the likelyhood that someone will get hurt, for fun find someone ... (read in full...)
Torn between men
Q. i have been with my boyfriend matt* for nearly 4 years. last may we decided to split and be friends, as we both have the same group of friends.i then started a relationship with a guy he went to school with in july, tom*. i got depression finished ...
A. 31 May 2006: Finish with Matt, he is not doing it for you and although love is great there also has to be some sexual chemistry or it is just like going out with your mate.
Once Matt is finished with you can either have a break from blokes and see if things deve... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend want to cheat on me
Q. OK y'all I need some outside opinions. My long time boyfriend got drunk with his best friend last week and I overheard him talking (for some time) about this girl at his work that "wants his ****." It didn't sound like they had actually done ...
A. 31 May 2006: It could be that he was just doing some drunken fantasising with his mate, and it is as innocent as that and when caught out by you he felt he had to re-assure you and so told you she was leaving so you would feel more happy and would be off his ... (read in full...)
My fiance is not sure if he feels for me anymore
Q. My Boyfriend *now fiance* said to me tonight that he's not sure he feels any feelings for me anymore. I was shocked, so i asked him if it was over. He said i need to think about stuff. Before that he was very distant from me. What's going on? I ...
A. 31 May 2006: I can only guess that he is feeling pressurised and is waking up to the reality that you have now got engaged and will be married, this is a huge commitment and one that he may not feel as ready for as he initially thought when he asked you to marry ... (read in full...)
I can't keep from telling lies to, and keeping secrets from, my girlfriend!
Q. Me and my amazing girlfriend are are 19 and 18. We've been together for 2 years 4 months and 7 days now... we are both at uni and I am very very much in love with her. I have basically totally screwed things up. It started with a little lie. I n...
A. 26 May 2006: You played a game and you got caught, she forgave you the first time and yet you did not learn and continued to push your luck.
This tells me that whilst you love your girlfriend you do not want commitment that is heavy, you want to play the fiel... (read in full...)
Great boyfriend that I love, but I also want to throw myself at a hunky guy at work!
Q. I have a boyfriend that I love very much. We have a great relationship but I crave passion and spontanity. I have a huge problem!!! I have a major crush on a real hunky, mechanic co-worker. I am the receptionist at an auto shop and whenever I s...
A. 26 May 2006: You are not satisfied with the relationship you have, you say yourself that it lacks spark so you look around and find someone that does spark an interest in you.
So what do you do, you can either try spicing up your life with the bloke you love... (read in full...)
He told my guy friend he was interested, but he won't even talk to me!
Q. I'm in 9th grade. Well my guy friend, "Jack" (let's just call him Jack) has a friend named "Jake" and he told my friend Jack that he thought I was attractive and I thought he was as well. I've been trying to get to know him for the past 3-4 weeks an...
A. 26 May 2006: Definatly normal, there may be some jealousy going on there to so my advice is to stay friends with both and dont complicate things by dating one of them.
To date your friends friend is not good as one day you will upset one of them and this will... (read in full...)
He went from 60 to zero in six weeks! What did I do?
Q. I was seeing a guy for about 6 weeks and we were having a great time. For the first five weeks he was texting me all the time saying I was the one for him, but then all of a sudden the texts stopped and he said he just wanted to be friends! I didn...
A. 25 May 2006: Get over him and move right on, he was just playing with you, he had no intention of having a relationship with you it sounds like he was just saying all the right things to see how far he could get with you in the shortest possible time.
The just... (read in full...)
Agony Aunts: Are we too soft with our problems?
Q. Have things become too complicated? Do we try too hard to namby-pamby, silk-glove every type of problem instead of just saying "bite the bullet" and getting on with life ? Being honest is such a panacea (sp?) for all ills. I am serious - I worry ...
A. 25 May 2006: What on earth do you want to know this for, advice is just that, we are all different agony aunts and so our advice will be different and it will be in some way influenced by our own life experiences.
We try to get a feel for what is going on with... (read in full...)
I have a big crush on a boy
Q. dear cupid, okay so i have a crush on this kid, well at least it was a crush that was kind of like an "i just want to hook up with you" crush. but now it has turned into an "i really like you" crush! i can't ever get him off my mind, everything...
A. 25 May 2006: You say you have a crush on "this kid" yet he is 4 years older, what is going on, you say he has a girlfriend well surely that is that then, looks like he hooked up with you and then did the dirty on you with this girl, why is he with a girl he ... (read in full...)
Never gotten off with my boyfriend, no matter what we do!
Q. I have never had an orgasm with my bf before, or with any bf. We haven't had sex yet, but we've done just about everything else I can think of, and it's sexually arousing but he just can't get me off. I thought this was perfectly normal, until I ...
A. 25 May 2006: We are all different and it can take a long time to find just what brings you to orgasm, with some it is penatritive sex, with others it is masterbation or oral sex, sex toys or the playing out of fantasies.
Some women orgasm with some men but not ... (read in full...)
What else can I do to catch his eye, so he'll appreciate the New Me?
Q. I haven't seen the lad I fancy for months and the next time I see him will be in a month. I want to impress him that I have changed, and look much nicer than I did before. So I have dyed my hair back to its original colour, which looks much bet...
A. 25 May 2006: Change is good for the soul but why did you feel you needed to change, personality is more important than looks but then looks are usually what gets you noticed in the first instance.
All men are different as are all women so some men notice a litt... (read in full...)
I have a phobia about hugging, and it's driving me nuts!
Q. I am a normal teen, just trying to live the best I can, except there is one thing that is getting in the way of my everyday life...... my phobia. I have a major phobia against hugging. I don't know why and it's killing me! Showing affectio...
A. 25 May 2006: Firstly I am not comfortable with "the huggy thing" I dont like the way people just want to hug you when they dont know you, but I do like it from a bloke im in a relationship with.
My son does not like anyone hugging him and this is down to him ... (read in full...)
What can I do to help my sister get away from the loser she's with?
Q. My younger sister (19) has a new baby with a guy that is a very bad seed.. no job no, high school diploma, no license (cause he lost it due to well - bad things)And has been in jail many many times... oh and then there is the cheating on her and the ...
A. 25 May 2006: Your love and continuing support is enough, sadly she does not see the looser he is like you, on lookers oftern see things that the person in love does not and the side you see is not a pleasant one.
Deep down she realises he is not a good pers... (read in full...)
Id like to get out to socialize but he becomes jealous & flips out about it!
Q. I married one of my ex-husbands friends, he lived with us as a roommate and then we began an affair after he moved out. I have a child with both husbands, aged 20 and 11. My husband/ex-hubby's friend/father of my child is extremely jealous and ...
A. 19 May 2006: He is very insecure but you know this already, has he always been like this and if so why is it now just becomming such an issue, is it that you are getting sick of his lack of "fun" and you are just comming to realise that you want different ... (read in full...)
I feel sorry for him if i finish it!!
Q. hi i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now we live togther but the thing is i don`t know if i still love him i feel sorry for him if i finish it i am 27 he is 47. and fancy someone else now what should i do ???...
A. 18 May 2006: Go with your heart and finish it, yes it will hurt but that is better than staying with someone you no longer love out of pity and worry about hurting them, deciet hurts more and before long you will be tempted to stray so dont stay!!... (read in full...)
Decided to give cheating boyfriend another go but having a hard time of it.
Q. Quite recently i discovered that my boyfriend had slept with my best friend while we were together. We have decided to stay together and worked out our differences. I sometimes have a hard time and have started to become a little controlling, i also ...
A. 18 May 2006: If you can forgive him and rekindle your relationship then good on you, you are a more forgiving person than me.
Is your best friend still your friend ?
You are controlling as a way of punishing him, you are also using it as a defence mechanis... (read in full...)
Sex with an ex but just friends sex....is it normal?!
Q. My ex bf and I started talking again, now everything is so great and we're friends - well....more than friends I think. A week or two ago I told him I was still in love with him but since then my feelings have changed (i think). Now he just feels ...
A. 18 May 2006: Using each other for sex is fine if it is what both of you want and im not sure both of you do!
I do think you are in lust and not love and worry that this sleeping with each other may stop you both moving on and finding partners for more than just... (read in full...)
We went from trying to work it out to just friends, i'm so confussed!
Q. I posted a question a couple of weeks ago about me cheating on my girlfriend of 6-1/2 years and getting her pregnant. Of course we broke up but we still talked, went to movies and held hands as we have always done. She said that she wanted to work ...
A. 18 May 2006: Lostandalone you need to stand back a bit and look at the situation from her eyes although it does seem she is playing with your feelings, maybe she is teasing you like this to teach you a lesson let you know how it feels to be hurt by the one you ... (read in full...)
We went from trying to work it out to just friends, i'm so confussed!
Q. I posted a question a couple of weeks ago about me cheating on my girlfriend of 6-1/2 years and getting her pregnant. Of course we broke up but we still talked, went to movies and held hands as we have always done. She said that she wanted to work ...
A. 18 May 2006: Get a grip, she was hurt and confused and did not know what she wanted, she was still in shock and that is why she still gave you hope and tried to keep things as they were before you cheated.
She had a holiday away from you and her surr... (read in full...)
What shall I write in his birthday card?
Q. Hey Guys! Well i was wondering if you can all give me some advice on what to write in my bfs birthday card. His birthday was in january but i didnt get him nothin.So i've decided i'll get him a card with something funny yet...
A. 18 April 2006: you could send him a "woopse I forgot your birthday" type card or just get him a funny card and write in it that you want to say happy belated birthday with some kisses and a love from!!
Or why not get one of these cards that record your mess... (read in full...)
Was she trying to tell me how she felt?
Q. recently i told a very close freind about the girl that i like but when she found out she reacted strangly. she said that she wanted to ask a hipothetical question asking what i would think if someone i used to like now liked me what would i do? she ...
A. 18 April 2006: Bite the bullet and ask her, silly to try and second guess her, do you like her and if she was up for it would you like a relationship with her, if yes then go for it!!... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was raped and doesn't want to talk about it. Can I help?
Q. A few months ago, my girlfriend went over to a friend's house to drink and party. While there he took her phone and when I called, he told me not to call her anymore and that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. The problem is, later on some of ...
A. 17 April 2006: All you can do it keep being there for her and finding out the names of the places in her area that could help her if she does choose to get help.
In england you can ring a confidential helpline called the Samaritans and they listen and for a lot ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was raped and doesn't want to talk about it. Can I help?
Q. A few months ago, my girlfriend went over to a friend's house to drink and party. While there he took her phone and when I called, he told me not to call her anymore and that she didn't want to talk to me anymore. The problem is, later on some of ...
A. 17 April 2006: If at all possible tell your friend to go to the police, at the very least she needs to talk in confidence to a rape councillor or other proffessional.
She needs a pregnancy test and an STD check all as a matter of urgency.
Support your friend a... (read in full...)
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