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... Send *meedle a private message | | | *meedle's profile:51yrs old, have a 25yr old son. Live in North Wales and love it.
I have lived through many different experiences in my life, some happy and some traumatic. I am single and have been for 7yrs. I have lots of animals including a horse and sheep.
I work with people that are homeless, have mental illness or learning disability, ex offenders, substance misuse issues, self harm, low self esteem, fleeing domestic abuse, families going through difficulties, parents with children who are having difficulties. I work in supported housing so see all these issues regularity and work with agencies to get some help if I cannot help. |
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Are family or spouses more important in our lives?
Q. Who are the most important people in our lives, our parents, our spouses, or our siblings?...
A. 22 February 2006: Cannot answer this as to me all are important in different ways they are out support network and each has a role to play in our lives.
As long as one does not try to controle your life as it is your life and no one elses then you should not try to d... (read in full...)
I'm totally smitten, but the guy I'm with wants an "open" relationship. Do I have a choice?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 20yr. old gay guy and I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now. I've absolutely fallen for this guy. The only thing is, he's 2 years younger than me and has not had much experience as I have. He mentioned wanting to have an ...
A. 22 February 2006: Maybe you need to let him go have his fun and if you are not attatched with someone else then try again with him when he feels he is ready to settle.
You know an open relationship is not right for you, you feel uncomfortable and frankly it will just... (read in full...)
Don't understand why my girlfriend is suddenly so withdrawn and depressed!
Q. My g/f of 2yrs has become very withdrawn from our relationship. She never looks happy, never smiles, she looks depressed and never wants to do anything together. This has been happening over the last couple of weeks. I ask her what's wrong and she ...
A. 22 February 2006: She has an eating disorder and for this she needs proffessional help, in order for you to understand her and to aid in your supporting her you need to learn everything you can about this condition, go on the web and learn as much as possible, there ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says my penis hurts her during sex. Can you help?
Q. My girlfriend has trouble with my penis hurting her vagina during intercourse. she says it feels like its pulling the skin. can you help?...
A. 21 February 2006: She may bit be fully excited or may have something called vaginitus, this is when the woman involantarily tenses her vagina and penetration hurts,
This can be caused by not having enough foreplay so she is not wet enough or it could be because she ... (read in full...)
I love him but I 'm hurting badly by being bounced around on a string by him...What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend has been ill for a long time now, and it is slowly crushing him, to the point where is doubting everything, including me the person he loves most in this world and says he wants to marry... He has told me he needs his space at the ...
A. 21 February 2006: Give him the space when he needs it and be there for him when he needs you, he is going through a terrible time and having to come to terms with his illness, he may not want to burden you with it and may feel that he just needs a friend at this ... (read in full...)
I don't love my bf..I'm using him to lose my virginity. But I do like my gym teacher! I am sooo confused..help!
Q. hi so i got a boyfriend, but i don't love him, i think i just want to use him to loose my virginity.i know it's bad,i know that i should break up with her,but i want some experience in sex before i go into a real relationship. i thing he doesn't...
A. 21 February 2006: First your teacher should not be chatting to you on MSN, this is a breach of his code of conduct and he has crossed a boundary and could end up being disaplined for this.
He may be interested in you but he should not be, he is a teacher and does... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my husband having online texts with an old gf, everyday?
Q. my husband spends hours several nights a week having MSN conversations with an old girlfriend, they also TXT each other most days. I'm not happy but he says I have nothing to worry about. Should I be worried ...
A. 21 February 2006: Yes, you should because she is an ex, it is upsetting you and so he should stop.
I would be livid and would not have let it go on for this long it is like him having two women on the go, no it is not healthy and will cause problems down the line... (read in full...)
Orgasm score: nil. But my boyfriend gets defensive if I try to discuss it!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together and having sex for over two years and I still have never climaxed. He says that he really wants me to and it's what he thinks about, but I feel that it's all for his pleasure. When I try to talk to him abou...
A. 21 February 2006: Blondebombshell, this is a very common problem, you see women need a longer time to get warmed up than men and need to experiment with possitions, they need the right setting and need to feel wanted, loved and cared for, men dont.
Lots of women dont... (read in full...)
Don't understand why my girlfriend is suddenly so withdrawn and depressed!
Q. My g/f of 2yrs has become very withdrawn from our relationship. She never looks happy, never smiles, she looks depressed and never wants to do anything together. This has been happening over the last couple of weeks. I ask her what's wrong and she ...
A. 21 February 2006: Does she have any health problems, is she seeing her GP?
You say she has problems with depression, maybe she is depressed and needs to see her GP, most times when someone is very depressed they are the last to see it, others around them know but ... (read in full...)
I still love my little boy's dad. I don't want to, but can't seem to stop...
Q. I have a 2 year old son. His dad left me when I was pregnant. I still love him but he lives so far away from me now and he has never seen his son. I don't want to love him anymore but can't stop. What do i do? I need all the advice I can get beca...
A. 21 February 2006: Your ex was a rat, he left you when you were pregnant this is your most vulnerable time.
Falling out of love is not as easy as falling into love, you had a child by this rat and you are lonely, thinking about what it would be like to have this man ... (read in full...)
She's 16, living with and sleeping with a 28 year old man!
Q. My daughter is dating a 28yearold man she id only 16 years old they have been together for 7 months and have come to me and told me that they have been having sex and are deeply in love about 5 months ago i let her move in with him what should i do?...
A. 21 February 2006: You ask the question what should you do, what you should have said is "what should I have done"
I know that it is hard having a teenager, they always think they know more than you and that you dont understand them, etc etc, but no one said havi... (read in full...)
I am 17 and I think about having a baby, all the time. Is this normal?
Q. Im seventeen years old and i cant wait to have a child. i know im not ready for one now and im not intending on having one now. but is it normal to think about having a baby all the time? ...
A. 21 February 2006: Some young ladies do think about becomming a mum at a young age but in my expeience of working with young mums most of they regrett that they had a baby when they were so young and not mature enough to manage the responsibilities of another life ... (read in full...)
Why won't my BF say "I love you"? Is it because I don't measure up to his ex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 9 months now. I am in love with him but haven't told him. I want him to say "I love you" first. He knows this but hasn't yet said it. I am becoming impatient. I am worried he doesn't love me like I l...
A. 21 February 2006: Best if you give him some more time, he has just come out of a long relationship with someone he loved enough to have children with, he may still be struggling with letting go of her and the kids fully, he may have had a knock to his confidence and ... (read in full...)
How true is it that a man knows instinctively when he meets the woman he's going to marry?
Q. I really need some advice. I've been wondering, is it true a guy knows almost instantly when he meets his future wife? I've heard many stories from guys I know who have said they knew...and I was wondering how true people think this is....
A. 21 February 2006: Maybe it is and maybe it is`nt, who is really to know.
I am sure that everyone who meets, falls in love and proposes feels they have met the one, they marry and sometimes things go wrong and they end up in the divorce courts.
I do not think it... (read in full...)
Am I the guy to take my girlfriend's virginity?
Q. I have a question about taking my girlfriend's virginity. I'm 20 and she's 18 and we both attend college. I met her in class and we have been dating for almost 2 months. I'm not a virgin, but she informed me the other day that she's a virgin. ...
A. 21 February 2006: Hi Hicks, your girlfriend has to loose her virginity sometime so as long as you love and care for her and she is up for it why should it not be you.
Make sure talk through this with her to ensure consent and that she really is ready, sort out cont... (read in full...)
My folks are pushing me to find a partner and it is stopping me finding one!
Q. Help, my folks are rushing me to have a girlfriend and partner, I'm feeling pressurised, and uncomfortable, plus I might find myself not even wanting to be with a woman, I think that I might be gay how can i get the back off, and when I want to get ...
A. 19 February 2006: Sounds like you need to tell them all to leave you alone and not try and run your life for you, yes this will be hard and may put you out of favour for awhile but it really has to be done as it is YOUR life, not theres and they do not own you.
... (read in full...)
Bad attitude.
Q. What to do about a boyfriend with a really bad attitude? ...
A. 19 February 2006: Bin Him, send him and his attitude packing, there are a lot more blokes out there, and you just dont have to put up with it!! or him.... (read in full...)
First date sex after text?
Q. Should you sleep with a guy you really like on a first date after months of texting?...
A. 19 February 2006: only if you really want to, I would not as texting is not a real relationship and you dont know what he is really like, why do you feel you want to sleep with this guy, what is the rush.
If he is putting pressure on you then no you should not slee... (read in full...)
Is it best to articulate a crush? Or just keep quiet?
Q. I think I have a crush on my gay friend HELP. sometimes I'm not sure if the signals are there, he is a very nice guy. This crush doesn't seem to go away and its so annoying. I can't really avoid him because he knows my friends and vice versa, we all ...
A. 19 February 2006: Go for it! you will always wonder and dream about what if`s if you dont take this forward, if she is not interested that at the worst she will tell you and will no doubt have been flattered that a lovely woman like you fancies her, and at best you ... (read in full...)
She didn't tell me about her boyfriend when we went out together. Now I can't get her out of my head...
Q. I went on a date with this girl on my course a couple of months back. Then a week later, I saw her in a club with another guy. I was devastated. Then about a month back, things started hotting up and I got her something for her birthday. Then abo...
A. 19 February 2006: You know deep down that you have no chance of a relationship with this woman, and do you really want one with her, she seems shallow and not very loyal to the chap she is with so she will be no different with you.
She is just playing with you as t... (read in full...)
I got too jealous and lost my girlfriend. She thinks I've had enough chances, but I want to fix things!
Q. Hi, I'm a 21 year old male and got a little too jealous at some parties I went to with my girlfriend of over a year. I'm sure alcohol amplified my emotions a little bit, but I know the first time this happened I really hurt her. As the situation...
A. 19 February 2006: YOu have hurt her deeply but this you know, unfortunatly when we are jeolouse and the green eyed monster appears then we are open to hurting the ones we love the most, trust is such a delicate thing.
I doubt that you can change as somethin... (read in full...)
Three older ladies paid me to have sex with them. I need the money, but I don't want to be a gigolo!
Q. hello I am 18 years old male. I meet a group of old ladies. They are between 55 and 60 and they are 3 ladies. They offer me $200 to sleep with them and I did it, but I am feeling that I am selling my body. But I need that money. Shall I stay and ...
A. 19 February 2006: Lucky ladies!!
You say you sleep with the three of them for money, why do you need the money and if you stop sleeping with them how will you manage financially.
You are prostituting yourself as you are charging these ladies for sex, prostitu... (read in full...)
His ex wife keeps sending my bf, reminders of their deceased son. I hate what it's doing to him-should I talk to her about this?
Q. I'm getting married to my boyfriend of 7 years in may. he has an ex-wife who has to keeps ties with him. By birtday cards,to mailing pictures of the past. She has been married for over 20 years and can't seem to let go of my soon to be husband....
A. 19 February 2006: Whilst I can understand why his ex still keeps contact and why she needs to be part of his life, I think it must stop.
For the sake of your sanity and peice of mind, for the sake of your marriage and for his and her moving on, this really must come... (read in full...)
I'm a nice guy with loads of female friends... and it seems to get me nowhere!
Q. I dont beleive it can be true. Do nice guys really finish last? I have countless friends, because I never see the point of arguing and holding grudges. All the girls I am friends with come to me for relationship advice. I've been called 'a light ...
A. 19 February 2006: Good morning GodofGraphics, well firstly let me say you are a rare but wonderful bloke and you must not loose this fantastic caring personality you have.
But and there is always a but you do need a girlfriend,
You need to look outside of your cir... (read in full...)
He seemed to want to meet up, just like I do, but now it's all sorts of mixed signals!
Q. I'm a 16 year old gay male and I really like this other lad. We met of the internet 2 days ago and we like all the same things. He seems interested, he tells me that he thinks I'm hot and that he would like to meet up with me. He seemed reluctant to ...
A. 19 February 2006: Be careful, you have had an internet chat but that is all, some people pretend to be someone they are not so check him out further.
Ask him to download you a photo of himself and if you really think he is genuine then meet in a public place like... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake by making the first move?
Q. I really like this random guy who I see out all the time. I finally worked up the nerve to actually go and talk to him, he didn’t back away and seemed quite warm towards me, I didn’t get his number or anything, I just broke the ice. The next night ...
A. 19 February 2006: shrinking violet, stop being a shrinking violet, you like him, he seems to like you so make another move.
Either pass him your number or ask for his, dont let your shyness stand in the way.
Go for it!... (read in full...)
My man cheated and lied and promised to change and didn't. Now that we're finished, I'm scared of being alone!
Q. Had a relationship that lasted for just under 9 yrs. He cheated on me right from the beginning. More times in the first year than I can even count on both my hands, and feet, at which point I confronted him about it and he said it would stop. I...
A. 19 February 2006: I was a single mum and believe me it is better than living with the heartache that you are suffering, being a single mum is not easy and no one will tell you different but you will be happier, you will be choosing how to manage your life and your ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want sex until "it's the right time", but I'm getting impatient!
Q. I have been going out with this really nice guy for the last 6 months. We really get on well and he makes me so happy,however, he doesn't want to have sex with me. When I asked him about it he said he wants to wait for the right time. I have always ...
A. 18 February 2006: What is your hurry, he sounds like he will get there eventually, if it was the other way around you would want him to respect your decision to take it slow.
Pleasure yourself this will take the edge off your sexual appetite and help you wait.
The b... (read in full...)
My best gal pal touched me and I didn't resist. Confused over this because we are not gay/bi!
Q. I am a late 30's female and have been friends with my best friend for over 20 years. We both have boyfriends and have never considered ourselves as bi or gay. However the other night after rather too much wine we slept in the same bed (not ...
A. 18 February 2006: Leave it at that, dont worry about your sexuallity based on one drunken night, stay friends and if it happens again and it feels right, go with it, you never know.
but dont initiate anything as you could risk your friendship.... (read in full...)
I'm not sure I want to marry the woman who's 30 years younger than me, but she says she wants me!
Q. I am 54 years old and my divorce was final at the end of June 2005 (married for 30 years). I met a 23 year old in May 2005 and we got engaged in sept 2005. She lost her father in Febuary of 2005. I think it's love but I'm not sure and I also love ...
A. 18 February 2006: Stick with your best friend, this young girl is infatuated with you, nothing more, she sees you as a stable father figure type and believe me it will not last.
The age difference does not come into this, it is the fact that she shows her immaturi... (read in full...)
What age should you be to have sex the first time?
Q. Hey, I am wondering whether to have sex for the 1st time. I am 14 and so is my girlfriend. She has done it before and is kean for me to join her, but I am not entirely sure about what to do. Please help me! P.Enguin...
A. 18 February 2006: Please dont have sex with her, if you are having to write in to us then you really know you are not ready in your own heart.
14 is just too young to enter into a sexual relationship, what if you fathered a child, what if she gives you a sexually... (read in full...)
I daydream about another guy, even though I'd never cheat on my boyfriend..
Q. Are my "Crushes" something to worry about? I've been with my boyfriend for over two years and I love him more than anyone but lately I've been daydreaming about other guys, in particular, a guy from college. I only know him to see, I don't ev...
A. 18 February 2006: Crushes are fine as is day dreaming about lovely blokes they are what keep us sane, but leave it at that unless you want your relationship to end, then end it first before persuing other blokes.
What goes on in the privacy of our own heads is... (read in full...)
Want to end the relationship and stop sending her money, but worried about the consequences!
Q. I feel a fool... I have been sending $$ to a girl overseas that I met in a sex site ...for 2 years... because I felt I loved her and I felt sorry for her. She says she loves me but she keeps asking for more $$ for herself .. and to help her family ...
A. 18 February 2006: Stop! what are you thinking, you are being taken for a ride.
Change your phone number and go ex-directory, she is not likely to jump on a plane and come visit so that is ok.
Do`nt send any more money, in fact do not send any more e-mails, fro... (read in full...)
Is it too much to expect that I should have all the details of his drug addiction and any threats before my partner is released from prison?
Q. Hello All, My partner, who I met just before he went in Prison in December '05, will be released in August this year, and will then come to live with me and my family (Parents and Adult Brothers). I know for a fact he has had a history of dru...
A. 18 February 2006: Do not move this guy into your home, he should go into a hostel where he will be around trained staff who will monitor him, keep him safe and help him continue his re-habilitation.
You do not know him, you are putting at risk your precious... (read in full...)
My husband and I have no communication, no common ground...and we argue. I'd leave, but for the kids. Help!
Q. Hi, I am 40 years old and a housewife. I have 5 kids their ages being between 2-20yrs, been married for 20yrs. I'm unhappy at this point because my marriage has always been the same...taking care of the kids and my normal house routine. My hus...
A. 18 February 2006: You need to leave him, but you already know this, this is what you need to do:-
If you have family or friends go to them, if you are brave enough get the police involved and make a complaint, then get an injunction out against him, but if you thin... (read in full...)
My ex still jokes that she "loves" me, just to tease her boyfriend... but the sexual tension's getting to me!
Q. I used to date the girl my best friend now lives with. I see them both all the time, and she has always been very touchy-feely. She'll lie across the sofa and watch tv with her head on my lap and she'll hug me all the time. we always joke abou...
A. 18 February 2006: What on earth are the two of you playing at, you say he is your mate, then why are you both doing this to him.
Put yourself in his shoes, would you think that the stuff you get up to was innocent, no I dont think you would, you really if you are ... (read in full...)
Because he doesn't remember to call or text me, I wonder if he's just "not that into" me?
Q. Well, I've just started to date my bf for about 2 months. He is a year older than me and he is not in the same school as me either. I first knew him when I was in the sixth grade and at that time we were still in the same school until I moved for ...
A. 18 February 2006: Relax, just take it easy, you are both young and finding your feet in the romance steaks.
Just hanging out is fine, and if he does not want to do this a lot it maybe because he is not ready for more in the relationship.
If you want more than he... (read in full...)
His attitude changed last week and he says he can't be my boyfriend. So, are we over?
Q. Hi, I am female. I've been having relationship with a guy, introduced by my friend since last September and seeing once a week. But his attitude has been changed since last week. He didn't reply text and never pick up phone. Then I sent text...
A. 18 February 2006: Do what Baby Girl says, move on do`nt hang around for him to hurt you, he is messing with your head and this is not on, ditch the bugger and find a nice bloke.... (read in full...)
She smokes pot now but I want to be her friend again
Q. Hi im in year 11. I dont have any friends and am lonely at break times, lunch times, even after school. The reason this all happened was because my best friend who i really liked and shared interests with left me and moved to a big group of peo...
A. 18 February 2006: Sarah, stay true to yourself and keep away from her, she has decided she wants what these other girls have to offer and soon enough she will realise what she has lost with dumping you.
Year 11 is a lonely year as you are half way between a grow... (read in full...)
I want him to trust again and how can I keep him entertained?
Q. ok, i'm 16 and theres this guy i've liked for about 6 months. we flirt and talk a little and he's come over to my house twice. He's been burnt before in a relationship and hasn't had a girlfriend in a long time. he knows I like him. my friend ...
A. 18 February 2006: I would like to tell you to play monopoly but I guess you would take no notice, so I suggest you keep it nice and not get to hot by hanging out but not in your room, if this is possible, if you have a room that is downstairs like a second lounge or ... (read in full...)
Is he gay? A virgin? Shy? What's going on and why does he only show interest when he's had a few?
Q. Hi, Basically, I'm trying to get things going with this shy guy that's on my course. Flirting and mutual acknowledgment started with our fieldtrip last March. During a group outing we almost got together (dancing got pretty steamy)....
A. 18 February 2006: He cannot make up his mind, he wants you when he has drink in him but does not want any other form of relationship or intamacy, this is fine it just means you and him are not right for each other, you want him but he is just wasting your time.
... (read in full...)
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