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... Send *enta a private message | | | *enta's profile:I'm a married, 41-year-old, working mother of 2 sons, ages 2 and 3. I live in the S.W. United States, near the Pacific Ocean. We live on one income (mine); my husband is a stay-at-home father, and he's great with our kids. |
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He proposed, I said yes... but worried it's too soon to get this serious!
Q. I need a little advice here, me and my boyfriend ( who are both 17) have been together 2 and a half months and a week or so ago he proposed to me and i said yes, but im not sure if its too soon to get this serious. im not having doubts and i love ...
A. 7 August 2007: Knowing and being with someone for 4 years is a long time at any age. And yes, that's important. But you will both change, learn, and develop so much over the next 5-7 years of your lives. This is the time that you will develop who you will be; ... (read in full...)
My bf found out, I thought he was cheating with his exgf! Now he wants to talk..is this relationship salvageable?
Q. I was convinced that my boyfrind had gone away for a few days with his ex. I snooped on him and all the evidence led me to same conclusion. He has made me feel very insecure about his long term ex eg. she doesn't know about me, he avoids places she ...
A. 6 August 2007: The truth is always a good start. And the fact that he wants to talk is a good sign.
Whatever you do, don't raise your voice, don't lose your temper, and don't get defensive. He has a right to be angry. Make sure you listen to him and let him ... (read in full...)
He doesn't care about me! What should I do?
Q. I have a thing for this a guy that we hang-out with. We hang-out with a group of guys who just graduated from our highschool. i like him very much. and we have hooked up wiht him on and off. but he has a girlfriend who hes been with for a year and ...
A. 6 August 2007: eyeswideopen is giving great advice, as usual. These guys don't care -- they've been brutally honest about it. Not only that, but the guy you like also has a long-time girlfriend who he's treating badly. If on the outside chance you DID end up ... (read in full...)
Should I be settle for being his 'friend with benefits' or wait until he's ready to have a real relationship?
Q. I've met a guy through a friend of mine an known each other for quite a while now, i had friends over an he was one of them an i got quite drunk an told him a few times i like him....now the other day he told me a few things, one thing i didnt get ...
A. 6 August 2007: "Friends with benefits" means that there is and will never be any emotional relationship. There is a friendship and a sexual relationship, and that's all. But you will continue to fall for him while you're sleeping with him, and that is a problem. ... (read in full...)
He proposed, I said yes... but worried it's too soon to get this serious!
Q. I need a little advice here, me and my boyfriend ( who are both 17) have been together 2 and a half months and a week or so ago he proposed to me and i said yes, but im not sure if its too soon to get this serious. im not having doubts and i love ...
A. 6 August 2007: I recommend a long engagement and lots of pre-marital counseling (my husband and I had monthly sessions for 18 months and learned a lot about each other). You shouldn't get married until you're both out of school and working toward your career. ... (read in full...)
How can I make sure she likes me enough to not be offended or say "I only like you as a friend" when I make a move?
Q. Well, I've known this girl for about four days now, were already getting along like we've known each other for ages, were both quite touchy feely when were hanging out. My problem is that I'm so madly attracted to her that I can't sleep very well ...
A. 6 August 2007: Time to move, and quickly. Take it from this girl: don't give her time to PUT you into the friend zone. Be up front with her and ask her out, otherwise she's going to assume you're not interested. Try asking her out for something easy, like ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling insecure because of his porn habbits and his online buddy. Help!
Q. Ok well I'm very insecure about myself and I'm 17. The other day I found that my boyfriends been watching porn and that really makes me feel bad about myself. I never even look at other boys in 'that way'. When I told him I knew he just denied i...
A. 5 August 2007: Sorry for the long response...
Okay, first thing. If you're only a size 10 and you're 5'10" YOU'RE NOT FAT!!!!! Oh my God! 90% of all women would KILL to get your figure (I know I would)! Stand up tall, shoulders back, head up and work to ... (read in full...)
She say's she loves me but i don't think i feel the same.
Q. I Guess i have been running away from this Question but here goes i met a girl on the web about a month ago and we have talked about EVERYTHING and she told me shes in love with me but im not sure i love her but i dont know if im in love with with ...
A. 5 August 2007: She may just be more comfortable with the word. If I were in your shoes, I'd want to wait to use it too.
If you think the potential is there, respond to her that you want to wait to talk about love until the two of you know each other better. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is terrible with money and it's affecting other aspects of our relationship!
Q. HI guys I need help! I am 23 and having a rough time. I recently graduated with a Bachelor's degree, and have started a "real" job. My boyfriend and I both work midnights (I always worked). I bought a house on my own, even though I have a live-in ...
A. 3 August 2007: I'm glad that you were able to talk; it's the most important thing here. Tell your friend who called you a "gold digger" that wanting someone who is as financially responsible as you are is called wanting "compatibility" and looking to the future, ... (read in full...)
How do people live alone and do okay?
Q. How do people live alone and do okay? I find myself single and alone due to the ending of a 20 year relationship but I absolutely hate it and think now, that I have been co-dependent my whole life. How do people do it? I get so bored and lonesome. ...
A. 1 August 2007: You need to work on things that make you more self confident. Confidence is sexy, and great guys are attracted to confident women. Getting involved with hobbies is a great start. You might also exercise or take a class. Do whatever it takes to ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with wanting a baby at this age?
Q. I'm 14 and my bf is 15 and we have been having sex and i got worried that i was pregnant then i got my period. And now i want to have a baby! Is there something wrong with that? And how would i tell my mum? She would go crazy. I really Luv my bf an...
A. 1 August 2007: First find a baby that you can babysit -- you'll see exactly how very HARD it is to care for one.
I have 2 (ages 2 and 3) and they're expensive (daycare, and classes, and clothes, and trips, and college someday, and diapers, etc.) and they're ... (read in full...)
I love him to pieces but how do we get over our awkward shyness with each other?
Q. Hey well the guy i like fancies me too, but we only get to see each other once a week. Also it has got a bit awkward between us ever since we told each other we liked them. But we're trying to sort things out as both of us really want it to work. Th...
A. 1 August 2007: When you get together what are the circumstances? Can you bring a lunch and sit together? Is there any way that you can just sit together and get to know one another? You have to be able to talk to him to find out whether you have anything in ... (read in full...)
We were supposed to marry but he's now marrying someone else, his family chose for him! I am heartsick..any advice?
Q. Hello, I was in love with a boy(my neighbour)who proposed me 10 years before. We spent a lot of time together. My family and I did a lot for him...helping him in his studies, job, personal development etc.He got a better job than me.His parents ...
A. 1 August 2007: Good for you. Take the high road and wish them well, but do not attend the wedding and do not be his friend. Be cordial and respectful, but distant. When he abandoned you he lost the benefits of your friendship. Let any who gossip see how well ... (read in full...)
Is it true that if you wear a bra to bed your breasts don't grow?
Q. i really need some help is it true that if you were a bra to bed they either shrink or don't grow. My mum and my cousins take their off and it really concerns me!! plz help thanx for any advice xxx...
A. 1 August 2007: When I was nursing, my lactation consultant said that I should wear nursing bras all the time, even to bed, for the support. The girls were bigger than before and I needed the extra support, believe me. Now that they're smaller again I've gone ... (read in full...)
I can't forget about him, even though he has a girlfriend!
Q. I really need help with this situation. I feel like im in love with someone. He has a girlfriend, and has been with her for over a year and a half now, but he cheated on her various times with me. He treats her bad, and their always arguing. I know ...
A. 1 August 2007: Danielepew is right that when you love it's hard to move on. But here are some things to consider:
(1) If he cheats WITH you he may someday cheat ON you.
(2) How he treats his current girlfriend is a good indication of how he would treat future... (read in full...)
They have not been together long and he wants to buy a house.
Q. My best friend and her boyfriend have been together for just over a year. Its her first serious relationship - well her first real boyfriend if you like. They got together literally just weeks after his last long term relationship ended, and more...
A. 1 August 2007: Invite your bezzie out to coffee/dinner/etc. just the two of you. Tell her you'll support whatever choice she makes, but you want to make sure she has all the facts. Tell her everything you know about him, but try not to be combative (she may get ... (read in full...)
Should I continue loving my cousin, or should I ignore my feelings?
Q. me and my cousin haven't seen each other since we where really lil kids finally we meet again after 17 years i feel strongly connected to her. we play around bit wrestling tickling etc. i cant keep my eyes off from her. i do like her allot. i don...
A. 1 August 2007: You'll have to decide if your family is more important than your feelings for her. If she's a close cousin, it's not legal anyway, so stick with your family. If she's a distant cousin, decide if you can handle the ostracism. It may only be the ... (read in full...)
What should I say to my boyfriend when I am really tired?
Q. Hi everyone. I was wondering if this is a bad thing. So My boyfriend is always touching me in a sexual way, like he will just walk up to me and grap my chest or the other part of me. Well Last night when we went to bed I was starting to fall asleep ...
A. 1 August 2007: Tell him no and let him pleasure himself. And get over the fact that he pleasures himself -- guys like porn. And as long as he prefers you to the porn there's nothing wrong with it (and it lets you sleep).
As for touching you all the time -- ... (read in full...)
I need to get my mind off him!!!
Q. hi i am 14 and i recently went to a football match and i really like one of the footballers i saw playing (it was a pre season match) i cant stop thinking about him although i have only seen him twice (i saw him in his car on the way home ) he is 21 ...
A. 1 August 2007: It's normal to have crushes on guys, even older guys. Feel free to enjoy the crush. But do NOT act on it. You're illegal for him, and a guy that much older who likes 13-15 year old girls is kinda creepy.
Get busy, so you won't think of him as m... (read in full...)
I have 2 boyfriends and can't decide what one to choose
Q. Hey i have this boyfriend and i really 3 him and every thing. But this other guy really lyks me and i said yes to him to. Now i have to bf's and i only want one. I really 3 ma first bf he is perfect for me but the other guy i lyk to. Wat can i do ...
A. 1 August 2007: The honest thing to do would be to stick to your BF only, and not cheat on him. You would be devastated if he chose to cheat on you, wouldn't you?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is terrible with money and it's affecting other aspects of our relationship!
Q. HI guys I need help! I am 23 and having a rough time. I recently graduated with a Bachelor's degree, and have started a "real" job. My boyfriend and I both work midnights (I always worked). I bought a house on my own, even though I have a live-in ...
A. 1 August 2007: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he's likely not going to change. I always thought my husband would finish his degree and he never did. He's currently a stay-at-home dad, which he's GREAT at, but we don't balance the checkbook like I did ... (read in full...)
My manly man likes to see she-male porn! Is this a common fetish for men?
Q. My husband of five years is looking at shemales. He's always had a healthy sexual appetite. However, he has been less interested in me lately and has been acting suspicious so I started monitering his computer. He looks at craig's list everyday, ...
A. 31 July 2007: Try to get your guy to look at porn through a different venue -- not on the computer. Porn sites on the computer are notorious for downloading ad-ware, mal-ware, and plain viruses.
If you know he's visited porn sites (not just Craig's list but... (read in full...)
I am getting mixed messages about me and him and his ex and her kid
Q. I have met this bloke, have known him for about a month now. When i first met him i thought he was really nice but i had just came out of a relationship and didnt really want to jump back into another one. Anyway he made every effort to get wi...
A. 31 July 2007: He may be worried that if she finds out he has a girlfriend then she'll get jealous and blow up. If so, then he's not totally split from her, as far as she is concerned, and living with her isn't honest. No wonder she told him to get out.
Run f... (read in full...)
Should I pursue this guy or not?
Q. hello . i have a question i just started a new job and i found the guy that i like and he likes me as well. what should i do in terms of persuing him or shouldnt i? i mean i know he likes me and i dont know what to do. he gave me his number on the ...
A. 31 July 2007: You'll only find out what his motive is by getting to know him. Hang out with him casually for a while and talk to him. He may be on the up-and-up and then you'll know. But don't introduce sex too early. If you're not sure whether he wants you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend mentioned the fantasy of a threesome and I cant get over it!
Q. My boyfriend said, that like any guy, a part of him wants to have a threesome, But he doesnt really want to do anything to the other girl, just me. Well Of course I made a really wierd face because I didnt know that he had thought of having a ...
A. 31 July 2007: Let it go. Fantasy isn't reality. If you trust him not to cheat on you, then don't worry. Lots of guys have fantasies, and it doesn't mean that you aren't enough. ... (read in full...)
He's going out with my best friend but I like him and he keeps calling me!
Q. I have liked this one guy forever and a few months ago he started going out with my best friend even though he liked and still likes me. He has been calling me alot lately and we are talking about an hour everyday. It has become very obvious that he ...
A. 31 July 2007: How would you feel if you were the one he was dating and your friend was the one who started going after him? Not very nice, is it.
If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you. Do NOT date him until he's clear of your friend, or you will really r... (read in full...)
I emailed him a song to tell him I fancied him. Now he's put it up publicly! What does this mean?
Q. I sent this guy im intrested in a song online and made it very clear that I'm crushing on him. I was unaware the song would go public (on his page where all his friends can view it)......hes been online and has seen the song and i sent a message ...
A. 31 July 2007: If you've asked him to remove it and he hasn't, then he's a jerk who isn't worth your time. He should have told you if he's interested. I would blow him off and move on.... (read in full...)
I would like to change the kind of guys I attract
Q. I keep circulating around the same type of guys in my love life. If the guy does not belong to someone else, he probably has a baby. I'm single and would like to change the type of guys i attract. How do i do that?...
A. 31 July 2007: Work on being the person who attracts better men. Do things that build your self-confidence -- confidence is sexy. And great men are attracted to self-confident women. The wrong kind of guy always wants a woman who will cling to him so that he ... (read in full...)
He ignored my calls and I said we should just be friends, but I dont know if I did the right thing
Q. I have been seeing a guy for 4 months and he sais he loves. We have been friends for 4 years before that. He alwayed text me every day and phoned me most and told me to not stop texting him but last weekend i heard nothing from him and he ignored my ...
A. 31 July 2007: You should just leave it. You don't need the headache of wondering where you stand with him. If a guy wants to be with you, he'll work to be with you. This guy is not. Leave it and find someone who won't cause you to panic.... (read in full...)
I am cheating on my boyfriend with his friend
Q. Ok, I have been with my current boyfriend for 6 years. We have twins together who are 18 months old and we are not married because I know that we are not right for each other we have had so many problems and he has been in jail like 5 times since ...
A. 31 July 2007: It's probably doomed. Someone who will cheat with you will cheat on you.
If your BF's friend and you want a relationship, it's time to lay all your cards on the table. Be honest with your BF and his GF. Start talking with him about the support ... (read in full...)
My ex is using me for sex, but I still like him
Q. Hi I was with my ex for a few months. Then we split up but he said he still liked me afterwards and we did sexual things together. He messed me around basically. Soon after we would do something toegther he woudn't want to do anything and woudn't ...
A. 31 July 2007: Oh hon, guys don't think like we do, and you've just learned it the hard way. They don't need closeness for sex. They don't even have to like you to want to use your body. You won't be able to get him to like you if you do sexual things for him; ... (read in full...)
He does not seem to want to spend any time with us.
Q. My boyfriend spends loads of time wih his mate, I'm talking five to eight hours a day. Is it normal we've been on and off as a couple for five years and he asked me back a month ago, He works comes home and goes to his mates house, I'm left at home...
A. 30 July 2007: You're not over reacting. He needs to be at home to help you with your children. He should be setting a better example for his children about what a relationship between Mommy and Dadd looks like. He's horribly immature and needs to grow up.
... (read in full...)
My bf's mate calls me scum and punched his ex!!!
Q. Hi all, I have a massive problem that I have never heard of at my age, and I would like to know if this is unusual or does this happen a lot. My partner and I went through hell to be to-gether and I love him with all my heart. The problem is, now ...
A. 30 July 2007: I'm sorry hon. Your BF's mate is bad news, and your BF doesn't see it. The mate also has a history of violence, and it will visit you if you continue to be around him. What's worse is that it's obvious that your BF will choose him rather than ... (read in full...)
What does cut and uncut mean, penis-wise?
Q. whats the difference between a cut and uncut penis?...
A. 30 July 2007: Not having one, I can only guess that it means that one is circumsized and the other one isn't.... (read in full...)
She wants time to herself.
Q. My girlfriend of 4 months has jsut left me 5 days ago, she doesn't want a relationship becasue she's jumped out of a two year one and went with me. She says she still loves and cares about me but just doesn't want a relationship at all with anyo...
A. 30 July 2007: The worst thing you can do would be to press her.
Wish I had advice that could get her back for you, but I don't. It's possible that when she's done with this "time to herself" she'll be ready to move on with you. But I wouldn't count on it, b... (read in full...)
Is it just because i'm working to hard?
Q. I'm 23, female, and in a commited relationship for about 4 yrs now. My boyfriend and I have lived together for about the last 2yrs. I really love him alot, and believe that he will someday be my husband (which I kind of wish was sooner then later) ...
A. 26 July 2007: I have the exact same problem, and yes, if you're doing too much you may have no interest in sex.
Women are multi-taskers -- which is GREAT for everything EXCEPT for sex. If you still have a list of everything that needs doing in your head, yo... (read in full...)
How do you get rid of pre-menstrual bloating? ANy tips?
Q. A few weeks before my period I bloat, and it really gets me down. Anyone got any tips how to get rid of it?...
A. 26 July 2007: Like R&B2 said: cut salt and drink lots of water.... (read in full...)
Do you think we will end up together?
Q. I am 16 . I have liked a guy who I only shared 1 class with for 2 years. We are both extremely shy but I got the feeling that he like me e.g. His friends would let him know when I entered a room or he would show off infron of me and things like ...
A. 26 July 2007: I don't think so, unless one of you starts being really direct. A guy who wants to be with you works to be with you. He doesn't dance with someone else to make you jealous (and you shouldn't do so either).
Asking him out was a great start. ... (read in full...)
Have i done the right thing?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for the last six months on a free relationship basis. Since the beginning he told me he didn't want a serious relationship. I thought I could handle it, but when he didn't call for a week or so and then he suddenly ...
A. 26 July 2007: Yes, you did the right thing. If you're falling for him (and it sounds like you are) then you can't stay in the relationship as you first designed it. You were both honest -- he that he didn't want more, and you that you do. So stick with your ... (read in full...)
His parent's think he can do better, so he split up with me.
Q. A little over 3 months ago, i cheated on my boyfriend of almost 2 years. i made a really really bad choice, lied about it (which made it way worse), and there is no excuse. at the time, i was facing alot of personal issues and was really confused ...
A. 26 July 2007: This site may help: http://www.ehow.com/how_2040630_spouse-trust-again.html
If it turns out that he makes the break permanent, take this as a blessing and move on. Do you really want those people as your in-laws? YOU can do better.
In the ... (read in full...)
I've just been dumped.
Q. Earlier today I was dumped. I cried histarically for some time. So now I feel really drained and pathetic. Does anyone have any advise? any would be appreciated. Thanks a million, xx...
A. 26 July 2007: Don't feel alone sweetheart, this has happened to all of us at one time or another. I know it's hard to hear now, but you'll get over it in time. While you're healing, work on things that help you feel confident in yourself -- confidence is sexy. ... (read in full...)
How can I make my vagina dry so that my husband wont want to have sex with me?
Q. I've been married for 16 1/2 years. We've had great sex,but lately I'm not interested in having it with him.He's very controlling in the bedroom he wants it every night.And the problem I have is my vagina is very wet at night and he loves it.Ho...
A. 26 July 2007: Hi Colleen -- I sent you another message with phone numbers to call in your area (people who can help you escape). You haven't read your message and I'm worried. Please contact me, either on this thread or privately. Take care. -Penta... (read in full...)
How can I make my vagina dry so that my husband wont want to have sex with me?
Q. I've been married for 16 1/2 years. We've had great sex,but lately I'm not interested in having it with him.He's very controlling in the bedroom he wants it every night.And the problem I have is my vagina is very wet at night and he loves it.Ho...
A. 20 July 2007: Colleen -- I sent you a private message...... (read in full...)
How can I make my vagina dry so that my husband wont want to have sex with me?
Q. I've been married for 16 1/2 years. We've had great sex,but lately I'm not interested in having it with him.He's very controlling in the bedroom he wants it every night.And the problem I have is my vagina is very wet at night and he loves it.Ho...
A. 19 July 2007: Look into a battered women's shelter and see if they can help you find a place. Your county should have a list of them. Also, you should see a lawyer (the shelter can help you with this too). You have rights and this guy is bad news. Once the ... (read in full...)
How can I make my vagina dry so that my husband wont want to have sex with me?
Q. I've been married for 16 1/2 years. We've had great sex,but lately I'm not interested in having it with him.He's very controlling in the bedroom he wants it every night.And the problem I have is my vagina is very wet at night and he loves it.Ho...
A. 19 July 2007: "Then he comes back into the room and fucks me when I'm asleep."
THAT'S RAPE! You need to leave this guy. He has no interest in your feelings at all. He belittles you. Please, get out of this relationship! You deserve so much better!... (read in full...)
How can I make my vagina dry so that my husband wont want to have sex with me?
Q. I've been married for 16 1/2 years. We've had great sex,but lately I'm not interested in having it with him.He's very controlling in the bedroom he wants it every night.And the problem I have is my vagina is very wet at night and he loves it.Ho...
A. 18 July 2007: Believe me, that won't solve your problem. Having it dry will just make it painful, it won't keep him from wanting it.
Wanting it EVERY night is a little excessive, though. You should talk with him and compromise. If it HAS TO BE every night, n... (read in full...)
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