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He proposed, I said yes... but worried it's too soon to get this serious!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 August 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2007)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

I need a little advice here, me and my boyfriend ( who are both 17) have been together 2 and a half months and a week or so ago he proposed to me and i said yes, but im not sure if its too soon to get this serious. im not having doubts and i love him and i want this. but im just not too sure if its the right thing to do at this age, my mum said its not but she did exactly the same at my age and was married to my dad by 18 :S im really confused.

cheers to anyone who answers

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (7 August 2007):

penta agony auntKnowing and being with someone for 4 years is a long time at any age. And yes, that's important. But you will both change, learn, and develop so much over the next 5-7 years of your lives. This is the time that you will develop who you will be; you'll be surprised when you're 25 how different things are than when you were 17.

That said, you both need to give yourselves the freedom to explore during this time, which is why I recommended a long engagement. It's possible that you will both grow together and be stronger together -- that happens. It's also possible that you will grow apart. How sad it would be if you grew apart and found yourselves married too soon.

Take your time and think about it. You've got lots of time, so don't do anything too quickly. Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hey there guys i'd just like to say a thank you too everyone and i just need to clear up something, we have acctually known each other over 4 years i totaly forgot to mention this in the question, not sure if it makes much of a difference. thanks again

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (6 August 2007):

Basschick agony auntYou can always have a very long engagement. I'd recommend that you not get married unitl your 21. Trust me, you'll be glad you waited and what's four little years when you consider your whole life, right? I married at the age of 19 and even though I was mature for my age, I became restless about 3 years later and wished I would've stayed single longer and just learned more about my husband before tying the knot. Good luck.

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (6 August 2007):

penta agony auntI recommend a long engagement and lots of pre-marital counseling (my husband and I had monthly sessions for 18 months and learned a lot about each other). You shouldn't get married until you're both out of school and working toward your career. That way, if it is too soon, you'll give each other time to figure out what you want. BUT you'll also be getting to know each other, which means you could end up together. Good luck!

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A male reader, NervousSexDude United Kingdom +, writes (5 August 2007):

Well if you two really do love each other, talk to him about it. He may be really understanding about it.

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A female reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT United Kingdom +, writes (5 August 2007):

BEEN THERE DONE IT agony auntHi there babes,

Its great you love your boyfriend but you have only been together 2 and a half months so no wonder your feeling the way you do.....

Why don't you tell him you would love to marry him one day but seeing as you both have only known eachother for a small period of time you would like to date longer and fun with each other explore etc...., tell him how you are feeling babes but it doesn't change how you feel about him, your just not ready yet.....

If he loves you I am sure he will understand and who knows deep down he could actually be feeling the same as you....

Give him a great big kiss and a hug, and remember marriage is a big step babes....

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (5 August 2007):

bubbloo24 agony auntYou have your whole lives to get married. I would say wait a few years of being engaged and then decide. At 17 you are still young and should be doing what young people do, don't cut your adolesence short. Make this time in your life fun.

It's just my opinion but I suggest that with the doubts you're having, you shouldn't until this is what you want for sure.

x take care. x

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