Like what
she writes?
... Add *enta to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *enta a private message | | | *enta's profile:I'm a married, 41-year-old, working mother of 2 sons, ages 2 and 3. I live in the S.W. United States, near the Pacific Ocean. We live on one income (mine); my husband is a stay-at-home father, and he's great with our kids. |
|
My brother and I just pieced together that our father sexually abused us and our sibling. Now he may abuse his 3 year old and unborn baby - help!
Q. Hello my father abused his sisters child for 10 years from the ages of 4 to 10 she got as far as reporting it to the police but found it too traumatic an experience and couldnt face court. I always showed symptoms of abuse but when my cousin ...
A. 9 August 2007: If someone had been able to rescue your brother, cousin and you, but didn't, how would you feel about that person?
You need to make sure that nothing happens to your half-siblings. If you can't convince your cousin to help, you still need to ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but I do not fancy him anymore and cannot face having sex with him, he does not turn me on at all, in fact it is more of a chore. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend since I was 17, I am now 23. At the time I did not think that anyone would like me and was happy that someone did. Recently I have been getting a lot of attention from men and it makes me wonder if I settled down too ...
A. 9 August 2007: Your significant other deserves to have someone who wants him sexually. If you really find sex with him a chore, he would be better off without you. Leave him and check out those greener pastures.... (read in full...)
My brother and I just pieced together that our father sexually abused us and our sibling. Now he may abuse his 3 year old and unborn baby - help!
Q. Hello my father abused his sisters child for 10 years from the ages of 4 to 10 she got as far as reporting it to the police but found it too traumatic an experience and couldnt face court. I always showed symptoms of abuse but when my cousin ...
A. 9 August 2007: Talk to the mother of these children. Now. You have to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else.
If possible, go visit her with all the other people he's molested so that she can't deny it.... (read in full...)
The second time the guy's wife came to my house and showed me a text message on his cell phone from my wife, saying she loved him.
Q. My wife cheats on me constantly, we've been together for 15 years. I just caught her for the 3rd time in the past 8 months with the same guy from her work. At first she said nothing was going on, I caught them flirting. The second time the guy's ...
A. 9 August 2007: If you stay this time you are really giving her permission to continue. There have been no consequences to her actions so why should she change?
I would talk to a lawyer and ask him to draw up separation papers, then have her served. Then ask... (read in full...)
I can't get in touch with him after I confronted him about his infidelity. What do I do?
Q. I have been dating a guy for about 8 months, during the 4th month of our relationship I found out that he had a girlfriend. I continued dating him, since he said that it was not anything serious with him and the other girl. Well, recently his ...
A. 9 August 2007: Yeah. Add me to the stack of Aunts who think you escaped. Count your blessings and move on.
And if you ever find yourself in the position of dating a man who is involved with someone else, you do the leaving.... (read in full...)
I get razor burn all the time! How can I get rid of it?
Q. hi i need help i want to shave down there because i dont like have hair it bothers me and i have tried everything mens razors and women razors soap and shaving cream for man and woman and also medications for the lil red bumps called razor burn but ...
A. 9 August 2007: I'm with you; I hate the bumps. I tried getting it waxed once, with great result. You might try that. (I just have to warn you that it hurt, a lot, to get that done. But no razor burn and growing back was better.) Good luck.... (read in full...)
He has no sex drive and he looks at me like he 'hates' me. What is up with this guy?
Q. i was going out with this guy who has been burnt by a couple of women he has no sex drive i dont think he has any interest in sex period but the 2 times he has pleasured me in other ways i get this feeling that he hates me at that point its like ...
A. 9 August 2007: Sounds like he's not an especially fun person to be with. Run.... (read in full...)
Dating him for just 2 weeks and already ...he wants to propose! Any advice?
Q. Hi! I'm new on here.. I was just browsing, and found this site. Anyways, moving on... I just started dating this guy, and we are boyfriend and girlfriend. He really likes me, and I really like him... and of course we think we are in love. He's re...
A. 9 August 2007: Actually, sex wasn't what I thought he was getting at. He may just feel like he's found "the one" and wants to lock you in. That's not unreasonable. But they have an old saying about this: "Marry in haste, repent at leisure."
You have so much ... (read in full...)
How do I leave him?
Q. well hi i need advise my relationship is starting seem as its falling apart and im real hurt and confussed, my bf of over a year isnt as loving and doesnt seem to want to spend any time with me and im starting to feel as everything is more importan...
A. 9 August 2007: You're right to take a break to see what you want. Sounds like you need to get away from him.
See a lawyer and make sure he takes care of the baby. When you get a sense of finality you'll feel better and start to heal. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I'm 2 months pregnant but I don't know if the baby I am carrying is my fiancee's or secret lover's!
Q. I have been cheating on my fiance of 1 year with a man who is currently married to a friend of the family. They have been married for 10 years and have 2 kids. I had a baby on Jan. 10th and I don't really know who fathered my child. Is it my fiance ...
A. 8 August 2007: Wow. I'm with Irish49; there are way too many issues here.
Cut off all contact with the married guy. Think of his kids and his wife. Don't do this to them.
Either be faithful to the fiance or cut him lose. He doesn't deserve a cheate... (read in full...)
How do I leave him?
Q. well hi i need advise my relationship is starting seem as its falling apart and im real hurt and confussed, my bf of over a year isnt as loving and doesnt seem to want to spend any time with me and im starting to feel as everything is more importan...
A. 8 August 2007: You and he need to sit down together and talk about what you both want for the future. It sounds like you're not sure what he wants, but he's pulling away from you. And this hurts too much so you want to leave him.
See if you can make an appoi... (read in full...)
I don't want to mess up our friendship, but I like him as more than a friend!
Q. Heey well iv been really close with this guy for absolutly ages and hes been one of my best friends for years, we always go into town together and mess about etc. and i love him to peices for it. but now im starting to think i might like him a bi...
A. 7 August 2007: You might level with him: "Would it mess up our friendship if I asked you out?"
If he says yes, it would mess up the friendship, then say, "okay, I won't" (then flash a big smile and and just keep going).
If he says no, then ask him out... (read in full...)
If he's like this now how will he be after we're married?!
Q. my fiance is doing my head in. We are getting married in 3 weeks time, and there is still lots to do, and he just isn't doing anything!! I feel like I have done almost everything, and the things I ask him to do I end up doing myself anyway because ...
A. 7 August 2007: He'll probably be like this after too, but you won't be as stressed out and it won't matter.
Give yourself a break about the wedding -- it's only one day. The marriage is what counts. (I say this after having driven myself insane insistin... (read in full...)
I feel like a stuck record about this but it's really bugging me...
Q. Hi I feel like a stuck record about this but it's really bugging me! I split with someone just over a month ago. Was a year long nightmare relationship. All is good, I can't stand the bloke. He rang Friday night trying to explain things 'cuz he l...
A. 7 August 2007: Well, that's different! [grin] Hold your head up, get a laugh at what we aunts goofed up, and smile that he's not someone you have to have in your life forever!
As for your brother, that's hard. It sounds like you might want to check out "Al-... (read in full...)
For the first time at 28 I gave it up, I had sex with him , lost my virginity to him and now he not talking to me at all!
Q. I have been dating this guy for a whole year, within that year we went through some rough times where he cheated a couple of times and then he stopped and silly me I remained in the relationship because all along I thought I was the problem because ...
A. 7 August 2007: I'm so sorry hon. Sounds like the guy is a real jerk, and you're much better off with out him. Hold your head up and walk away.
In the future, anyone who won't wait until you are ready is not worth your time. Don't let him blame his bad deed... (read in full...)
We're getting married! But all of a sudden, I'm scared that I am making a huge mistake.
Q. I'm due to be married in a few weeks time. Thing is, I don't know if I'm doing the right thing!! I really thought it was what I wanted, at first when he proposed out of the blue I was rather taken aback, and I did say yes because I couldnt exactly ...
A. 7 August 2007: Make an appointment with some kind of counselor -- someone you can talk things through with. A marriage counselor would be great, so that they know the kind of questions to ask.
It's likely that these are just pre-wedding jitters, but you need... (read in full...)
Yes, it is very nice that he wanted to buy that for me but I don't agree with where he looked or what he look at.
Q. Hello everyone, I am curious if anybody else would have the same problem or if it is somehow reasonable that I thought this: My boyfriend and I had a conversation about web sites we visit (to see if we go to any porn sites etc). He said that he...
A. 7 August 2007: I'm one of 'those' women who don't think it's a problem when my husband looks at porn (or any other woman who is not me). I know that I'm the woman he chooses to be with.
Men like to look. They always will. And as long as he chooses to be wi... (read in full...)
I feel like a stuck record about this but it's really bugging me...
Q. Hi I feel like a stuck record about this but it's really bugging me! I split with someone just over a month ago. Was a year long nightmare relationship. All is good, I can't stand the bloke. He rang Friday night trying to explain things 'cuz he l...
A. 7 August 2007: Take a deep breath. Then sit down with your kids and tell them the truth. But here's the important thing: do what you can to AVOID bad-mouthing their father.
Your kids are smart. They're going to see how their dad acts. It will catch up... (read in full...)
How do I handle my boyfriend's baby? Is the relationship worth going through this?
Q. My boyfriend who I have been dating for four months and who I love has two young kids. The youngest is 8 month old. It is very hard for me to accept the baby for some reason. How do I handle being in this situation? And how do I know he is truly ...
A. 7 August 2007: How would you feel about him if he could choose you over the baby? That wouldn't say anything good about him, would it?
This baby is his, and that he's planning on being in that baby's life for the long haul says a lot of really good things a... (read in full...)
I told my best friend that I have a crush on him and he said "well I'm not gay...what do you want me to do?" What do I do?
Q. I have a problem!!...well I'm gay and I am madddly in love with my best friend...I've been knowing him since 05 and I've always had a little crush on him...when we got to sophmore year...we started hanging out every weekday...and thus we became best ...
A. 7 August 2007: This is such a common problem for gay teens; I'm so sorry you're having to go through this!
Whether he's gay/bi or not, he has told you he's not, so you have to go with that.
It sounds like you have it pretty bad for him, so you need to put ... (read in full...)
I'm moving half way around the world - should I carry on a relationship with my wife or my mistress?
Q. This question is long because it's very complicated (even though I've simplified it quite a bit). Three years ago, I fell in love with a European girl and moved to Europe to be with her. I gave up a lot to make the move and it really was a blo...
A. 7 August 2007: Wow. So you let someone take total care of you, basically use her to get on your feet, then feel it's really easy to cast her aside, huh? Yeah, she's better off without you. Pick the mistress.... (read in full...)
I think our relationship has gone past being f*ck buddies. Do I say something to him?
Q. 5 months ago me and a guy I work with agreed to be f*ck buddies as we both didnt want anything serious, now its confusing, I thought a f*ck buddy was just sex now and again but lately he has been phoning and texting me loads, I have met his friends, ...
A. 7 August 2007: Yeah. I know what you're talking about. I had a "friends with benefits" friend in college. I didn't actually want a relationship with him, in my head, but the longer we had "benefits" the more I fell in love with him. Women are like that -- it's ... (read in full...)
He proposed, I said yes... but worried it's too soon to get this serious!
Q. I need a little advice here, me and my boyfriend ( who are both 17) have been together 2 and a half months and a week or so ago he proposed to me and i said yes, but im not sure if its too soon to get this serious. im not having doubts and i love ...
A. 7 August 2007: Knowing and being with someone for 4 years is a long time at any age. And yes, that's important. But you will both change, learn, and develop so much over the next 5-7 years of your lives. This is the time that you will develop who you will be; ... (read in full...)
my boyfriend of 18 years doesn't kiss or cuddle me. what should i do?
Q. My boyfriend of 18 years doesnt kiss or cuddle me and never has any foreplay. He has developed a fetish for me dressing up in various poses, then takes photos and has sex. I havent got a problem with dressing up really if we were passionate with ...
A. 6 August 2007: This relationship is too one-sided. He gets all he wants and leaves you hanging. If you can't bring it into balance, you need to find the pictures he has of you (and the negatives) and leave HIM hanging. Once out on your own you'll be much better ... (read in full...)
raped pregnant and scared. Help!
Q. im 14 8 months pregnant and i was raped yesterday someone came into my home and hit me and raped me while my family wasnt home could it have harmed my baby?? im afraid to be left alone now.. could it have been planned? does this man know me? h...
A. 6 August 2007: If you can't talk to your parents, you should talk to a school counselor. Ask them to call the police and then get you to a doctor. I'm not sure about the laws there, but here the doctor and police can't tell your parents if you don't want them ... (read in full...)
He loves to eye other women be it any public gathering.
Q. I have been married for the last 5 years and I share a very good relationship with my husband but there is one thing we always disagree on. He loves to eye other women be it any public gathering. I have confronted him a lot of times and I am very ...
A. 6 August 2007: Why does him looking at other women bother you? He's with you, right? He's not planning on doing anything with these other women. Do you think he's going to leave you for one of them?
Guys like to look. That does not mean that they plan to ... (read in full...)
My fiancee: cheated with a prostitute, can't get hard except through oral, has a short temper and leaves for days on end after an argument!
Q. I love him but am i being controlled. my fiancee and I have been together for over 2 years. he cheated on me with a prostitute after 8 months, a month before we were to be married. we went to counselling, but he could not tell me why he did it. He ...
A. 6 August 2007: Sounds like you would be better off alone than with a man like this. Get out of this relationship. He's bad news and you're worth so much more.... (read in full...)
mother of my child slept with another man. Help!
Q. I found out that the mother of my child, that i am paying her fees, buying clother, food, everything slept with another man? She was working at a resturent, she was poor, a made her somebody, and am just a nobody to her today. Well, i don't k...
A. 6 August 2007: So you're paying for your child. Good for you. You helped create this child and you are responsible for it.
But this does not mean that the child's mother is required to put her life on hold for you. So she has a life now. Get over it. Go ... (read in full...)
We have sex 3 times a week... how many times is it therefore normal for him to please himself?
Q. Can someone please tell me what would be "reasonable" and "normal" number, for a guy in a relationship (have sex about 3 times weekly or even more when schedules are not so busy) to mastrubate? Lets say we have great sex three times a week. What ...
A. 6 August 2007: Depends on the guy. But his masturbation and use of porn have nothing to do with you. Guys like to look, and masturbation is a good stress relief (the equipment is right there) not to mention fun. Don't take it personally. If you're having sex 3 ... (read in full...)
We have sex 3 times a week... how many times is it therefore normal for him to please himself?
Q. Can someone please tell me what would be "reasonable" and "normal" number, for a guy in a relationship (have sex about 3 times weekly or even more when schedules are not so busy) to mastrubate? Lets say we have great sex three times a week. What ...
A. 6 August 2007: Depends on the guy. But his masturbation and use of porn have nothing to do with you. Guys like to look, and masturbation is a good stress relief (the equipment is right there) not to mention fun. Don't take it personally. If you're having sex 3 ... (read in full...)
I really want to go but i dont know what to do!
Q. Hi im 16. I have a FWB who's 18. Well...i guess he's my friend with benefits. Anyhow, he invited me to a drinking party, ive never drank before so i want to go and try some. The thing is is that we would have to sleep over because its kinda far ...
A. 6 August 2007: You know what the answer is. If you felt comfortable with this plan, you wouldn't need to ask us. The plan -- go someplace with someone you won't every have a long-term relationship with, drink (which lowers your inhibitions) and share a bed, will ... (read in full...)
He wants to get back together for love.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 1/2 years. In 2006 we broke up for 6 months and in that time I drank a little to much and slept with his brother. About 4 months after that we got back together and I told him what happened. We ...
A. 6 August 2007: Not sure I understand. He doesn't want to get back with you unless it's for love (regardless of the child). Does this mean that he doesn't want you back?
If this is the case, then you are better off without him. You don't want a loveless... (read in full...)
What are the best styles to go for?
Q. it is my first time with my new boyfriend and i didn't no what type of down below hair style he likes and i feel silly asking hime what shall i do and which one is betterr` hllp plz xxx...
A. 6 August 2007: Don't give it away this early! You have so many years of sex ahead of you. Don't let him pressure you! As for shaving, it itches when it grows back. Ick. Clip it short if you want, but don't shave. ... (read in full...)
My wife caught me talking to other women on dating sites.
Q. ok well here goes. i used to be on all these dating sites. then i got married. but i continued to go on them well. the other day my wife caught me, and seen that i had been talking to these women. so she then accused me of lieing, cheating, and meet ...
A. 6 August 2007: I would be devastated if my husband was on dating sites. And though I believe you when you say you haven't cheated, I can see exactly how she feels. If you're bored you should be turning your energy to YOUR WIFE not these strangers.
That ... (read in full...)
Am i curvy or fat?
Q. I am a 12 year old girl and i am unsure about my weight . i am 7stone and 8 pounds and i am 4 feet 11 inches. i know i am healthy but i not sure if i look good. Am i just curvy or am i almost fat? Also i know that when u you lose weight ur breasts ...
A. 6 August 2007: Okay, first of all, throw away your scale. If you're eating right and getting exercise, then you're fine. Different people at your age will be in different height/weight categories depending on what puberty is doing. Stop worrying.
Here'... (read in full...)
Does he want more?
Q. It’s been a month or so since I got back together with this guy. The first night I spent with him he told me he didn’t want a relationship after his last girlfriend. That was fine with me and I still have no problem with it. Sometimes I think that ...
A. 6 August 2007: You have to decide what you want. If you're okay with the way it is (Friends with Benefits), then do nothing. Remember that this means the relationship will probably never go any further. But it sounds like you want more but you're afraid he ... (read in full...)
I'm bi and in love with my friend, but she is with someone.
Q. hi i am bisexual and i am in love with my friend, the thing is she is with someone of three months, so why the hell would she cheat on her girlfriend with me? she has known i have liked her for 2 months, and a close friend of ours found out b...
A. 6 August 2007: Someone who cheats WITH you will cheat ON you. If you care for your friend stop tempting her and find someone else.... (read in full...)
Advisory: Getting suspicious messages in my dearcupid mailbox!
Q. Hi all, I just lately i have been retrieving some messages in my mail box which have been quite lenthy to say the least. In a nut shell the person is talking about vast sums of money being transfered to different accounts, and having to part w...
A. 6 August 2007: Sounds like the Nigeria scam. Thanks for the heads up!... (read in full...)
I love World of Warcraft but want a girlfriend and don't want to turn into a geek!
Q. Hi, Im a 15 year old boy who is desperate for a girlfriend. But the thing is i play on world of warcraft ALOT (online game). And i dont want to turn into a geek which i think the girls think i am. I love the game but i really want a girlfirend...
A. 6 August 2007: Some of us girls like to game too. The problem is that when you're playing, you're not out there meeting anyone. Try joining a club or a sport where you can get some exercise and meet people. You don't have to give up gaming, you just need to add ... (read in full...)
He blocked my car, threw my purse and phone on the floor and slammed doors... is my fiancee abusive?
Q. Is my fiance abusive? Last night I was cooking fries in a oil pot thing and my friend called to give me directions to her house. So, I had taken half of the fries out, and left the others in but unplugged it. Well my fiance came in livid because the ...
A. 6 August 2007: Do NOT let him blame his anger management issues on you. You do not MAKE him feel anything; he's a grown up and he's responsible for his own actions.
This is only the beginning. If you stay, he will work to separate you from your friends ... (read in full...)
How many days does it take to start my period after I've stopped taking the pill for this week?
Q. I've only just started taking the pill and have stopped to bring on my period for a week for the first time and was wondering how many days it takes to start my period after i'd stopped taking the pill for this week? i'm so worried that i havent ...
A. 6 August 2007: Depends on the pill and the woman. Your periods will be lighter on the pill than before; it may just take a while. You're on the three-week pill pack, right?
If you're not sure, get a pregnancy test. But I would wait until right-be... (read in full...)
My bf found out, I thought he was cheating with his exgf! Now he wants to talk..is this relationship salvageable?
Q. I was convinced that my boyfrind had gone away for a few days with his ex. I snooped on him and all the evidence led me to same conclusion. He has made me feel very insecure about his long term ex eg. she doesn't know about me, he avoids places she ...
A. 6 August 2007: The truth is always a good start. And the fact that he wants to talk is a good sign.
Whatever you do, don't raise your voice, don't lose your temper, and don't get defensive. He has a right to be angry. Make sure you listen to him and let him ... (read in full...)
He proposed, I said yes... but worried it's too soon to get this serious!
Q. I need a little advice here, me and my boyfriend ( who are both 17) have been together 2 and a half months and a week or so ago he proposed to me and i said yes, but im not sure if its too soon to get this serious. im not having doubts and i love ...
A. 6 August 2007: I recommend a long engagement and lots of pre-marital counseling (my husband and I had monthly sessions for 18 months and learned a lot about each other). You shouldn't get married until you're both out of school and working toward your career. ... (read in full...)
| *enta's friends
These are mutual friends, so *enta has
added them and they have added *enta!
|
