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... Send *enta a private message | | | *enta's profile:I'm a married, 41-year-old, working mother of 2 sons, ages 2 and 3. I live in the S.W. United States, near the Pacific Ocean. We live on one income (mine); my husband is a stay-at-home father, and he's great with our kids. |
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Anal sex-are there any risks? Can you get infections/std's by doing it??
Q. my husband of 7 years has asked me if we could try anal sex. we did try once b4 but it felt to painful and we give up.we are in a happy marriage,both in our 20's and both in good health. are there any risks? can you get infections/std's...
A. 11 June 2007: Here's a good source of information: http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/guides/anal.html
It's a good site for sex-toys, too; I have ordered from them and have good experiences.
Answering your Q's:
Yes, there are risks. If he has an STD you ca... (read in full...)
Gf dumped me because of a drunken kiss with another girl! How can I get her back?
Q. first of all I have been with my girlfriend nearly 5 years. I was out on saturday night and got really really drunk, I ended up kissing another girl which my girlfriend seen. this is totally out of character for me and it has been 2 days since it ...
A. 11 June 2007: Trust is really hard to get back once it's lost. You may not be able to get your gf back; you really won't be able to get her back overnight. It's going to have to be a long-term campaign.
Explain to her that it was the alcohol, and that you... (read in full...)
He beat me after I cheated... can I fix this or should I leave?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 months i know that doesn't sound long but in that time i cheated on him three times he found out and cheated on me i don't know how many times and beat the hell out of me then hit me a few times after the ...
A. 11 June 2007: Run like your ass is on fire. No one has the right to hit you for any reason, cheating or no. If you still have proof that he hit you, call the police. You'll be helping his NEXT girlfriend.
Then, when you "love" someone enough to be with him... (read in full...)
How do I bring up the subject of my fiery girlfriend's smelly punani with her?
Q. My girlfriend really smells-It really especially puts me off if I have to go down on her and she really smells awful. Sometimes the smell is so bad that I can smell it when she simply takes off her thong before even going down there. I think maybe ...
A. 11 June 2007: If you've smelled another woman before and know what a healthy woman smells like (and don't mind it) then this is your answer. (I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't you first.)
Okay, if she smells, something isn't healthy. She may have a y... (read in full...)
He wants to date me again, but got another girl pregnant! Now she's threatening me! And what if he leaves if I get pregnant, too?
Q. I'm dating this guy whom i work with. We have been dating for two years now. Sometime last year we broke up and so apparently he has made another girl we work with pregnant. He says he doesnt love her, it was just out of frustration and he ...
A. 4 June 2007: Run like your ass is on fire. Do not give this guy your time. He needs to have other priorities (the child) and encouraging him to be with you is a bad idea: (1) think of the child, (2) this guy is not being responsible for her, what makes you ... (read in full...)
Anyone who doesn't grovel at my feet is not worth my time. How do I get over my ego??
Q. I find it joyful to see someone beg down to me and ask for mercy so that I can then decide as to what I should do with that person. Basically I can only relate with someone who can surrender to my ego. If they don't, I just ignore them or can't ...
A. 4 June 2007: Recognize that any healthy woman will be repulsed by your attitude and flee. You won't attract anyone with any kind of self-confidence. Your relationships will all be dysfunctional. If you're looking for a real, long-term relationship, based on ... (read in full...)
Why can't my girlfriend get pregnant? Is it me?
Q. hey all i've been with my girlfriend now 11 weeks on tuesday (29 May) nearly 3 months and for the past 2 months or so we've been haveing sex without comdoms and i've not made her pregnant at all. shes not on the pill could there be something ...
A. 27 May 2007: Stop trying to get pregnant. The two of you don't have a stable enough situation to bring a child into, and you're being very selfish even trying. If you choose not to be married first you should at least be a couple for a few years, and contact a ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my husband I KNOW he's been cheating on me?
Q. I have just found out my husband is cheating on me. I have computer eveidence so I am sure. I hurt so much. How do i tell him i know the truth?...
A. 27 May 2007: If you haven't already picked him up, text him back that he should have his girlfriend pick him up, because you're busy with a locksmith changing the locks on your house. She can bring him by to pick up his stuff, which will be out on the lawn, and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to wear my bikini's all the time but assures me he's not gay!
Q. I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 23. He wears my bikinis all the time, and even says he wants to wear them in public. He also insists he's not gay, or a cross-dresser, and that wearing bikinis is right - and that men should do it. What should I d...
A. 27 May 2007: It sounds like he has a fetish. This may not be a problem -- he's clearly still into you. At least make him buy his own bikinis! But if it bugs you, bail. He's not going to change, and you shouldn't have to either.... (read in full...)
Does taking the pill at different times depending on when I wake up, affect it?
Q. I take the pill and my boyfriend and I have used the condoms and the pill. but now we want to just use the pill. my boyfriend lives in another country where the time difference is only on hour ahead. and i take my pill in the morning. normall...
A. 27 May 2007: So are you moving to his country, or are you visiting? It's supposed to be taken at the same time every day. If you're moving, you could just start the next month at the new time and no worries. If you're visiting, it might be a good idea to ... (read in full...)
My is my ex boyfriend constantly keeping in touch with me after our breakup a year ago?
Q. What do you think an ex boyfriend wants when he stays in contact with you for over a year since you broke up (his choice) say once a month just saying hi. Then in the last month he has been texting nearly every day and apologising again for his ...
A. 27 May 2007: It is possible that he is (1) sounding you out for round 2, (2) trying to see if you'd like to have a fling, (3) genuinely wanting your friendship alone. How you react depends a lot on how the relationship was last year and how it ended. Was ... (read in full...)
Can you ever heal and move on from your first love?
Q. Can you ever heal and move on from your first love?...
A. 27 May 2007: Well, the short answer is "yes." This person will always hold a place in your heart labeled "first." But don't worry. The person who will hold the part labeled "best" is still out there, I promise.
In the meantime, keep busy. Find stuff to... (read in full...)
I feel used! Had sex with me but wants to date other females! what's wrong with me?
Q. i have slept with one of my mates from uni four times and have fallen for him. i thought he liked me because all the signs were there but he kissed someone infront of me the other night and keeps saying things like "i could shag her" (about other ...
A. 27 May 2007: It sounds like he thinks that you and he are friends "with benefits." If that's not what you're interested in (and it sounds like you're not), I suggest cutting off all extra-curricular contact with him. You don't need to make a big deal about it ... (read in full...)
How many time should I be having sex with my wife?
Q. How many time should I be having sex with my wife?...
A. 25 May 2007: Okay, although I've liked what the other aunts have said, I thought I'd repeat something I heard on Oprah a couple of weeks ago.
There was a doctor on the show talking about the health effects of various things, and he said that to receive ... (read in full...)
Found out she was kissing another guy. Is this why she keeps asking for "breaks"?
Q. Me and my girlfriend started dating at the end of our 9th grade year, but the next year she moved 2 hours away. Since then we have still been together and in about 2 and a half weeks it will be 3 years since we started dating. Recently though she ...
A. 25 May 2007: Hi Chrisgold,
First things first: if you were on an agreed-to break, she wasn't cheating by kissing someone else. I actually see it as a very good thing that she feels she can tell you about kissing someone else; it says that you have honesty ... (read in full...)
We love each other to bits but I'm desperate for a child and she is totally against it!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years now. We both said we love each other and are planning to share an apartment together. We have talked about other things in the short term and the long term. The problem we have is probably one of the ...
A. 24 May 2007: You can't compromise on a child. If she never wants them, don't wait for her to change her mind. You have to decide: 10 or 20 years from now, will you resent her for taking this choice from you? If you can become okay with not having children, ... (read in full...)
She has anger issues and we split up. Am I doing the right thing by letting her go, with my new son?
Q. Am i doing the right thing? After a turmoil beginning, she got pregnant and we had a love/hate relationship. We had a son. After he was 3 months I asked her to leave, for what I consider his sake. I consider my relationship abusive meaning ...
A. 21 May 2007: I'm so glad to hear that you have a lawyer, but I kinda wish you were going for full custody. If she can hit you, who are so much larger than she, then what's to keep her from hitting your son? She should have supervised visits only.
My hu... (read in full...)
My husband still talks to his ex-mistress! He says there is no harm in it...Am i being unreasonable here to think otherwise?
Q. My husband of 17 years has been having an affair since last summer, I found out in February and he hasn't seen her since. But they still phone each other up several times a week which I find really hurtful. I have asked him to stop ringing her and ...
A. 18 May 2007: He's being rediculous. He broke your trust, and needs to work overtime to regain it. Keeping a connection with this woman means he's not sorry for what he did, he's only sorry that you caught him. You're not being unreasonable, he is. If he ... (read in full...)
Found out my bf has ordered some really, really sick porn! Is he a pervert and what should I do?
Q. I have found out when on my bf's computer, that in an email he had in his inbox, he has ordered 9 hardcore sick sick sick porn.!!!! What does this mean? is he a perve? He never seems like that. does it mean i'm not enough for him? I feel like i ...
A. 18 May 2007: By itself I really believe that porn isn't a problem. Guys like to look and always will. Whether this is a problem depends on the kind of porn. Is it illegal? (Kiddie, snuf, etc.)? That should send up all kinds of red flags. But it may be that ... (read in full...)
I have 3 kids from a previous relationship and I want another one with my new man...but he doesn't want any! What can I do?
Q. i have met a wonderful man that i love with all my heart i have 3 children from a previous relationship the problem is i always thought i would have more children one day as i am only 28 but my new man says he cant have children and i have now found ...
A. 18 May 2007: You have to decide whether you want this man or another baby. Time to make the hard choice, bacause you can't have both. Wish I had better news for you.... (read in full...)
My ex keeps sending me emails telling me he hates me! Does this mean he's not over me or what!?
Q. I had been dating a boy for about 3 years and we recently broke up for the second time about 4 months ago. He constantly calls me and emails me and when I respond with a casual answer, he turns around and insults me. He tells me to leave him alone ...
A. 18 May 2007: The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifferenc. The 'passion' is still there, but it's turned ugly. You need to cut yourself off from this caustic person.
Changing your phone number was a good start. If you can get someone to help you make... (read in full...)
She has anger issues and we split up. Am I doing the right thing by letting her go, with my new son?
Q. Am i doing the right thing? After a turmoil beginning, she got pregnant and we had a love/hate relationship. We had a son. After he was 3 months I asked her to leave, for what I consider his sake. I consider my relationship abusive meaning ...
A. 18 May 2007: No. You need to fight her for custody. Do not let this woman raise your son. Get a lawyer now.
Do you have any proof of her abuse? Did anyone see you with the black eye? This will be important in the court case. See if you can document... (read in full...)
He's picking on me all the time. And he threatens to make my daughter's life miserable if I don't get out of the house.
Q. tonight my partner gets back from his work trip. we aren't getting on and he keeps asking me to go away for the weekend - so he doesn't have to pay to stay in a hotel which is what he has done the past 2 weekends running, as he doesn't want to ...
A. 18 May 2007: Hey Rock chick,
You do sound a little depressed (being tired is only one symptom) but I have a short-term fix. GET MAD! This guy is an absolute jerk. He doesn't have a right to treat you this way, and he damn sure better leave your daughter... (read in full...)
How do I overcome feeling so nervous in having to give a presentation in front of my class?
Q. I need help on how to overcome my nervousness. This week I am doing a presentation to my English class, and I am quite scared. I don't like to speak in large groups. There are at least 25 students in the class. I'm afraid that the students will ...
A. 17 May 2007: CD is right. Practice practice practice. When you know it cold, you'll be a lot more confident. Also, BREATHE. It helps a lot. If you can get a podium, that helps too (keeps your hands from shaking if you can hold onto the podium). Good luck! ... (read in full...)
He always needs to have kinks and abuse in the bedroom. He makes me want to turn to the bottle for comfort!!
Q. Please help, I am in love with a loving guy for over a year now. The problems we have are: A I earn a LOT more money than he does and we're running into financial difficulties all the time due to being unorganised. B Sex, I have a high dr...
A. 17 May 2007: A. Since financial difficulty is one of the #1 problems in on-the-rocks relationships, this is not a minor thing. If finances are your strength, maybe bill-paying can be solely your chore, while taking out the garbage can be his. This is more ... (read in full...)
My gf doesn't want sex anymore! How do you go from wanting it all the time to not at all?
Q. I am 24 yrs old and my girlfriend is 21. we have been together almost 3 yrs. at the beginning of our relationship we were both sex addicts. all the time and anywhere. but for the past few months her sex craving has gone down (so she says) but now ...
A. 17 May 2007: Is she especially stressed? Does she feel like she has too much to do? (If so, she might feel guilty taking time for sex). Is she lacking sleep? Is she depressed?
The libido goes down in all these situations. Anything you can do to help her... (read in full...)
Do I have parental responsibility for this baby born in Italy?
Q. Hi I'm a single father,my son was born in Italy on the 02/01/05. My surname is on his birth certificate. He lives with his mother in London.Do I have Parental responsibility or does the English law only apply to babies born in UK?...
A. 16 May 2007: I don't know anything about British law. But I do know you have a responsibility to that child. Think about what happens years from now when he looks you up and wants to know why you abandoned him? Jump ahead of the law and help support your son. ... (read in full...)
should I feel insecure because my husband is watching porn?
Q. I caught my husband jacking off to internet porn. This makes my so insecure about us. Should it?...
A. 16 May 2007: Well, first off, he should find his porn in other venues. Internet porn is notorious for downloading all kinds of malware, adware, and just plain viruses. You'll get nasty popups if he's not careful.
That said, I don't think porn itself is a pro... (read in full...)
My best mate's bf snogged me and now she blames it all on me!!
Q. Hey , Well I was just walking home by myself and I saw my best mates boyfriend and we just talked for a bit and then suddenly , he just snogged me. I didn't want him to but My best mate found out and her boyfriend is blaming it all on me. My best ...
A. 16 May 2007: First, make sure everything is solid with your bf. This could mess everything up with him if you're not careful. Then, once this is clear, ask him to talk with her (maybe with you there). Your mate needs to be warned that her bf is not being true ... (read in full...)
I said something that came out wrong, should I try to explain it to him again?
Q. My bf of one yr has three kids from a previous relationship I haven't met them (they live a way away) but talk to him about them and try to be supportive as he only gets to see them once a month. A few nights ago he was trying to relax and kept ...
A. 16 May 2007: Yeah, I think you should. Say something like, "You know, the other night I was trying to wish you a relaxed night and it came out all wrong. I really want to support your time with your children. I know it's important. I'm sorry for the way it ... (read in full...)
Are the nudie pics on his phone really normal?
Q. is it normal for my boyfriend to masturbate watching tv, while i sleep beside him, is it normal for a man of 38 yrs old to have naked pictures of other women on his phone, is it normal for him to hide porn in our home. We are 3yrs together...
A. 16 May 2007: Depends on the porn. Guys like naked women. As long as it's not all he does (or illegal porn) I say just let him be natural with it. He does need to keep it in a place where the child(ren) won't find it, though, so he should take it off his ... (read in full...)
What else can we do to enjoy sex without loosing our virginities?
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend now for 3years. We are now both 17 and feel it is the right time to lose our virginity to each other. We have done all the bj thing, but i feel that we needed to go further. So last night she came over to ...
A. 16 May 2007: Okay, first -- anal sex is sex. She may be protecting her "cherry" but as far as I'm concerned you're neither one of you still virgins. People may disagree with me here, but that's my opinion. The good thing is that you can't get pregnant this ... (read in full...)
I dont know how to end it... what have I done?
Q. What can i do?I had an affair last year with a close friend..He swore that it was only a bit of harmless fun on the side and that no-one would get hurt but i began to fall for him. i knew that it could nt go on so i finished it but recently he ...
A. 16 May 2007: First, do not see this guy again. It's like me and chocolate. If I don't open the package of chocolates, then I can say no. If I open it for "just one" then I end up eating the whole package. I have no will power with chocolate. You have NO ... (read in full...)
I like her and our first few dates went well...but she doesn't text me back or communicate as much as I do. What's going on with this girl?
Q. i have met a lovely girl at work who i now cant stop thinking about, we have had a good first few dates, she even made the first move! but our daily rapor is very bad, she hardly ever replies to my texts, and when she does, they are never on tim...
A. 16 May 2007: I have 2 different explanations for her actions: (1) she's pretty immature and doesn't take other people into consideration, in which case you shouldn't get into a relationship with her, or (2) she's just not that into you, in which case you ... (read in full...)
She got pregnant with another man, we're about to sell the house, I don't know if I can forgive her. Should I get back together with her?
Q. I have lived with my partner for twelve years but the last 18 months the relationship has deteriorated and we decided to split.We put the house up for sale but continued to live under the same roof in separate bedrooms.My partner has now hit me with ...
A. 16 May 2007: (1) Don't go after the friend's wife just to get back at your gf. (2) If you were in separate rooms and leading separate lives, then your gf didn't cheat on you; there was no relationship to compromise. (3) If you don't feel you can forgive her or ... (read in full...)
My partner wants me to move out to give us "space"
Q. Hi I have just looked back at all my questions on this site and they are painting a bit of a picture. It is all what he wants ie My partner wants me to move out to give us "space" but I don't want to go as he says he can't stand being around...
A. 16 May 2007: Contact a lawyer. Make sure the lawyer knows he's threatened your children. Take the lawyer's advice.
You have a right to half the house, and a right to make sure your children are secure. You're fighting on behalf of your children now; do ... (read in full...)
Is a month too soon into a relationship to start having sex?
Q. Im a 25 year old virgin who has recently started seeing a guy. he is coming to my town on saturday night and has asked me to stay in a hotel with him. can i read into this as him expecting sex? ive been seeing him for a month, i trust him but being ...
A. 16 May 2007: It depends on why you've saved your virginity so far. If it's simply because you haven't had the opportunity until now, then one month isn't too soon. Just go for it.
If you've saved it because you're waiting for that special person, then I t... (read in full...)
I dont know how to end it... what have I done?
Q. What can i do?I had an affair last year with a close friend..He swore that it was only a bit of harmless fun on the side and that no-one would get hurt but i began to fall for him. i knew that it could nt go on so i finished it but recently he ...
A. 16 May 2007: I really like the advice that's been given so far. I would just add a couple of things. Don't talk to this guy again. Write to him and tell him you're in love with your husband, and want to put the needs of your children first. Tell him not to ... (read in full...)
Are people constantly judging me?
Q. I feel being constantly looked at by other people or being judged by them for any imperfections in my physical appearance or behavior, based on which they try to judge my morality or dignity as a human being. Are these things really related? ...
A. 15 May 2007: Most people are too busy trying to live their own lives to have enough time to keep judging any specific person. Everyone has his/her own insecurities that they believe must be blatantly obvious to every passer by, but which strangers never notice. ... (read in full...)
I'm underage and he cheated on her with me...
Q. ok i am in a real sticky situation. there is this 18 year old boy and he has a girlfriend but we have been doing some things lately. But he has come on to me first. im 14. he is a real player and he has cheated on her before. what should i do?...
A. 15 May 2007: If he cheats WITH you, he'll cheat ON you. Sounds like he'll flirt with anyone he thinks might be open to the idea. Leave him alone, and focus on some guys your own age.... (read in full...)
Would it be right to get back with my ex after he cheated? I still love him!,
Q. would it be rite to get bk with my ex after he cheated, i was seeing sum1 else to but didn't sleep with this guy while livin with my ex, he had a drunken 1 nite stand and i kicked him out. im now this the lad i was seeing an starting to have seccond ...
A. 15 May 2007: If you feel that you can (1) forgive him without holding it over his head, and (3) trust him without always wondering if he's going to do it again, then yes, you can get back together. But if you're always looking to spot the "other woman" (even if ... (read in full...)
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