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... Send *enta a private message | | | *enta's profile:I'm a married, 41-year-old, working mother of 2 sons, ages 2 and 3. I live in the S.W. United States, near the Pacific Ocean. We live on one income (mine); my husband is a stay-at-home father, and he's great with our kids. |
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Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 29 October 2007: You've made a nice clean break. Keep it that way. If he had wanted you, he would have called you "in about a week" like you requested in your text message. IMHO, he definitely missed out on a true chance at a wonderful relationship. His loss. ... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 11 September 2007: I think you did exactly the right thing, and yes, I think you should walk away now.... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 10 September 2007: If you can't get him to be clear, then it's time to stop the slumber party. No more heading to bed; it's a tease for both of you (him because he thinks he might get lucky, you because you think it might lead to a relationship). I like very mu... (read in full...)
I'm not keen on giving oral. But I want to please him. I feel a bit guilty?
Q. ok well me (20) and my new boyfriend (26) have started having sex and hes given me oral but i havent given him yet because it makes me feel sick doing it so ive only done it twice before. i want to please him but im worried as i will be rubbish as ...
A. 1 September 2007: Hey guys, can we get back to giving advice to the OP? The lengthy discussion should probably go private.
Ms. Anon, it's possible that if you don't blow your guy he may go elsewhere. There are people like that. But that's not the way to play ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my sister in law to have sex with me?
Q. Q. I am married for the last thirteen years but I am in love with my younger sister-in-law for the last eleven years. I always fantisize about her during sex with my wife. I have an obssessive compulsive disorder about her. I told her that I wanted ...
A. 31 August 2007: The way to let your heart let go of her is to stay away from her. Don't talk to her, don't visit her. Eventually your heart will heal. While you're doing this, try to work on your marriage. Talk to your wife about the little things, things you ... (read in full...)
He seems to enjoy the chase and we keep breaking up, only for him to be chasing me again, and the cycle continues. Is this going to go on forever?
Q. I am in this strange relationship for 2 years now. He chases after me, I feel intense feelings of joy and excitement (absolutely high), we get closer, I start chasing him, we become very intimate and then he pulls away, says his frightened. I feel ...
A. 31 August 2007: Some people are comfortable with a specific distance. If you get closer they will push you away, and if you walk away they will try to pull you closer. This is going to be his pattern forever. You're better off without him. Cold turkey is your ... (read in full...)
How come guys never noticed me as brunette but now i'm blonde i'm sexy. How come??
Q. hey, Recently i dyed my hair blonde, and now that i have guys make comments about me and stuff like that. Im not bothered im just curious to why guys are making comments about it, im also getting called sexy now that im blonde where as when i was br...
A. 31 August 2007: eyeswideopen and Danielepew have it exactly right. Confidence is sexy, and the new look probably makes you feel more confident.
I'm a blonde and I once died my (then long) hair jet-black for Halloween. I got asked out on three dates that day... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 31 August 2007: I think it's time to be frank with him. Tell him the reason that you haven't wanted any kind of physical relationship with him is that you're not interested in that kind of relationship with a man who is unavailable. You enjoy his friendship, but ... (read in full...)
I've been with him 10 months and he's started eyeing up women on tv and in the street. He says its normal but I've told him I dont like it!
Q. Should I leave my fiance? The other night we were watching a movie and everytime a "hot girl" was on the screen he would say something like "she has a nice body", etc. I've already told him that this bothers me, but he won't stop and says that all ...
A. 31 August 2007: Saying "she has a nice body" about a girl on the screen shouldn't bug you (unless he's also drooling when he says it). He's NOT thinking he'd rather be with her than you, so don't take it that way. Pretend he's commenting on art (which given the ... (read in full...)
I've moved from germany to USA when i was 12. Why do people here not feel its right for teenagers to have sex under 18?
Q. I was born in Germany, and I moved to the USA at the age of 12, since I've moved here I have always been curious as to why having sexual intercourse is such a bad act and disrespect to the parents for Teenagers under 18. In my town, it was ...
A. 31 August 2007: It's what happens when you have a country founded by Puritans.
Seriously, though, in most states a person is not considered an adult until they are 18, and it's not legal for a person to have sex until they're an adult.
Also, there are conseq... (read in full...)
I'm not keen on giving oral. But I want to please him. I feel a bit guilty?
Q. ok well me (20) and my new boyfriend (26) have started having sex and hes given me oral but i havent given him yet because it makes me feel sick doing it so ive only done it twice before. i want to please him but im worried as i will be rubbish as ...
A. 31 August 2007: I went back down and re-read what Frank said. The bulk of his advice was right on, and the part about going elsewhere wasn't the main part.
He said:
"the only way to get good at something is to practice. ... Part of the fun is sex is learning,... (read in full...)
How can I convince my sister in law to have sex with me?
Q. Q. I am married for the last thirteen years but I am in love with my younger sister-in-law for the last eleven years. I always fantisize about her during sex with my wife. I have an obssessive compulsive disorder about her. I told her that I wanted ...
A. 31 August 2007: What about the sister-in-law's spouse? What will he do to his wife if you are successful in having her? Do you care about the consequences to her, to her children?
You really don't give a crap about anyone but yourself, do you? Morally reprehen... (read in full...)
Could these antibiotics have caused thrush?
Q. Hi, i dont think i should be too worried but i just want to put my mind at ease. I lost my virginity 3 days ago and it was protected sex as he wore a condom. I have also been ill and have been on penicillin tablets due to tonsilitis. I have noticed ...
A. 31 August 2007: Yes, antibiotics can cause a yeast infection. (Thrush is also a yeast infection, but it's usually in the mouth.)
You should see a doctor about the yeast infection, and while you're waiting for the appointment you should eat a lot of plain yo... (read in full...)
How do I tell him that I'm not interested in him as a boyfriend?
Q. How do I tell a guy that I like as a friend, that I'm not interested in him as a boyfriend? I met a guy on holiday as part of a big group of friends. I've since seen him again with several other people we met on holiday too, and we get on really...
A. 31 August 2007: The kindest thing you can do is to let him know immediately that you don't want this outing to be a date. If I were a guy and a girl accepted my invitation to the movies, I would assume it was a date.
I would call him (before the date) and say ... (read in full...)
Two months after marriage and we already have problems. Is this marriage already over?
Q. I am wondering what to do about my marriage. I am in my early 20's and I just got married 2 months ago. I am in Germany with my husband because he is in the army. So he works for the army here and I left everything from the States to come be with ...
A. 31 August 2007: This is going to sound funny, but make an appointment with him. Tell him you want some time to talk about something, and promise that if you don't finish talking you will stop after the hour that you've scheduled.
Then let him know that you're n... (read in full...)
I'm not keen on giving oral. But I want to please him. I feel a bit guilty?
Q. ok well me (20) and my new boyfriend (26) have started having sex and hes given me oral but i havent given him yet because it makes me feel sick doing it so ive only done it twice before. i want to please him but im worried as i will be rubbish as ...
A. 31 August 2007: If your boyfriend can't wait until you feel comfortable enough to do something, especially when you're saying "someday" and not "never," then he's a jerk and you should dump him. Anyone who LOVES YOU will wait until you're ready.
Your body, yo... (read in full...)
I want to join the marines, but my girlfriend doesnt want me to
Q. Hi I'm having a big problem...I'm going to an auto motive school and after ig graduate I want to join the marines, but my girl friend dosent want me 2. She said that she will stay with me and supposrt me but I don't kno wat 2 do???...
A. 31 August 2007: She is concerned that you'll be sent to Iraq, which is a really dangerous place right now. She's afraid you'll be killed, or hurt badly. And she doesn't want the separation. Of course she doesn't want you to go. Why do you want to go?... (read in full...)
I think this is wrong but I'm not sure...
Q. Hi my boyfriend is 16 im turning 13 in december is this wrong? I think it is but im not sure....
A. 31 August 2007: People will always think the worst; there's nothing you can to about that. As long as you and your beau stick to the same story (that nothing is going on) you'll be okay. Hold your head up and walk past the busy-bodies.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by the guy I've been having an affair with! I dont need judging, I just need some advice...
Q. I have been seeing this guy for years. Before you judge me you don't have to live my life and there is a lot of screwed up stuff in my marriage. I am married and scared to death of my husband. I found out that I am pregnant and don't know what to ...
A. 31 August 2007: Is there any possibility that your husband could believe the child is his? (He hasn't had a vasectomy or left town during the conceiving time?) You could try to pass it off as his in the short run.
In the long run, if you're afraid of him you ... (read in full...)
My wife has been emotional since coming back from a school trip. She's a teacher. How can I deal with this?
Q. Hi i've been happily married to my wife for 7 yrs now, she works in a school(teacher) and has recently come back off this adventure holiday type thing that is arranged for 1 week in the summer holidays, there was her and about 6 more teachers ...
A. 30 August 2007: Well, I'm going to take some flak for this, but I'm prepared. Where is she in her cycle? I personally am closer to tears the Thursday before I start, and sometimes stupid little things can set me off, especially if I'm a little down anyway.
... (read in full...)
I'm not keen on giving oral. But I want to please him. I feel a bit guilty?
Q. ok well me (20) and my new boyfriend (26) have started having sex and hes given me oral but i havent given him yet because it makes me feel sick doing it so ive only done it twice before. i want to please him but im worried as i will be rubbish as ...
A. 30 August 2007: helskittn said pretty much what I was going to say, and in the order I would have said it, too [grin]:
(1) your body your rules -- don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to
(2) there is no wrong way to put your mouth on his gen... (read in full...)
When she and I started having sex she always and still does complain about pain but my concern is that her vagina does not seem tight at all.
Q. Hi I have a problem with my girlfriend but she doesn't know of it. She is not a virgin (neither am I); she said she had very infrequent sex with her ex who by the way took her virginity. Furthermore she never bled with him nor with me. They had sex ...
A. 30 August 2007: I think every woman is different. I don't have any other answer for you.... (read in full...)
I'm not keen on my mother-in-law. My spouse would love us to get along. Any ideas?
Q. How do i deal with a hypocrite mother-in-law and still have a great relationship with my spouse? he loves me and his mom and would want me and her to have a good relationship....
A. 30 August 2007: Of course I meant "beyond REproach."... (read in full...)
I'm not keen on my mother-in-law. My spouse would love us to get along. Any ideas?
Q. How do i deal with a hypocrite mother-in-law and still have a great relationship with my spouse? he loves me and his mom and would want me and her to have a good relationship....
A. 30 August 2007: Take the high road. Be warm and polite, but don't extend yourself. Don't talk trash about her, even when she's doing it to you.
What you're after is an obvious comparison of how reasonable you are to how un-reasonable she is. Deep breath. ... (read in full...)
When she and I started having sex she always and still does complain about pain but my concern is that her vagina does not seem tight at all.
Q. Hi I have a problem with my girlfriend but she doesn't know of it. She is not a virgin (neither am I); she said she had very infrequent sex with her ex who by the way took her virginity. Furthermore she never bled with him nor with me. They had sex ...
A. 30 August 2007: I don't think it matters when the pain is, as far as whether she's going to want it goes. All people are pain-averse -- we try to avoid it. I don't think you (or she) want to put her into a position where she tries to avoid penetration.
I fou... (read in full...)
When she and I started having sex she always and still does complain about pain but my concern is that her vagina does not seem tight at all.
Q. Hi I have a problem with my girlfriend but she doesn't know of it. She is not a virgin (neither am I); she said she had very infrequent sex with her ex who by the way took her virginity. Furthermore she never bled with him nor with me. They had sex ...
A. 30 August 2007: spirited has the right idea. Get outside help immediately. Asking her to have sex when it's painful is a way to get her to stop wanting sex at all.... (read in full...)
I have been having sex with a married man. He says he loves me and his family. Could he just be after sex?
Q. i have a colleague at work who is married with a 3 year old kid..i was new and got atrracted to him, i was the only one single in the office and many guys wants to court me, but i fell inlove with this married man and we see each other secretly,we ...
A. 30 August 2007: Yes, he's after sex. He may also like the flirtation, and be flattered that you like him. But he's never going to leave his wife. And you shouldn't want him to -- they have a 3-year-old kid to think about.
In addition to thinking about the kid,... (read in full...)
I want a friend to tell my teacher I love him
Q. Hiya, i have a real bad problem. For about 8 months now ive really really fancied my teacher, and its beyond a crush, i kind of love him. Hes all im thinking about to be honest. Lately its getting so bad, that when i start college, im gonig to go ...
A. 30 August 2007: If you care anything for this man, do NOT pursue him. Having any kind of relationship with you will RUIN his career. If you try to tell him how you feel it will be the most selfish thing you have ever done. As a teacher he CAN NOT date a student. ... (read in full...)
My parters brother in law keeps coming on to her!
Q. Hello, I sincerely hope you can help as i do not know if i am right to be concerned here....my partners brother in law keeps 'coming on to her' he has once grabbed her and kissed her and on another occasion entered her bedroom while she was al...
A. 30 August 2007: You are not being over possessive. I would be concerned too.
You can tell her that by accepting his behavior, she is agreeing (passively) that it's okay to treat her (and her sister) this way. He won't change what he's doing unless she takes st... (read in full...)
I'm 45, attractive, recently lost my job and feel like I've had the life sucked out of me. Can anyone help?
Q. I am a professional 45 yr old attractive female - I recently lost my job and I am unhappy - I feel like all the life has been sucked out of me - I want to feel alive again I don't even want to get out of bed Please help me ...
A. 30 August 2007: yeah, I was afraid the formatting wouldn't work. let me try again. here's the chart:
YOUR REQUIREMENTS ...... MY QUALIFICATIONS
*from job post ..........*list from your resume
*from job post ..........*list from your resume
[omit the... (read in full...)
I'm 45, attractive, recently lost my job and feel like I've had the life sucked out of me. Can anyone help?
Q. I am a professional 45 yr old attractive female - I recently lost my job and I am unhappy - I feel like all the life has been sucked out of me - I want to feel alive again I don't even want to get out of bed Please help me ...
A. 30 August 2007: Please do whatever you can to get out of bed and get active. My mom (only 60) was let go (after getting good reviews). She got depressed and stopped leaving the house. She started "borrowing" from her retirement to live on (too young to do that ... (read in full...)
My friend is really bugging me about our size differance
Q. im 15 and lately my friend has been bugging me, she is kinda overweight and says its weird that im two sizes smaller in clothes than her because we look the same, and the other day i did a test to find my BMI (body mass index) which shows you if you ...
A. 30 August 2007: Blow it off. She's insecure about her weight problem, and is making excuses and putting it off on you. Be the "bigger" person and ignore it. Change the subject and move on.
She probably doesn't even know that she's being hurtful. If she says... (read in full...)
How can I convince my sister in law to have sex with me?
Q. Q. I am married for the last thirteen years but I am in love with my younger sister-in-law for the last eleven years. I always fantisize about her during sex with my wife. I have an obssessive compulsive disorder about her. I told her that I wanted ...
A. 30 August 2007: Well, you start by getting treatment for your OCD. Then, if you still want this, you divorce your wife. You CAN NOT go after your sister-in-law while you're still married, not even once. It's dishonest, it's cheating, it's morally wrong. And you ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get our relationship back the way it was?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and a week ago his mates told me he has cheated on me but we talked and we said we would give it another go. He apologised and i knew he meant it because he was crying and he told me he has not cried ...
A. 30 August 2007: You can't, and you shouldn't try, to go back to what it was. It's different now. That doesn't mean that it can't be good, but you need to go forward, not back. He needs to work to get your trust back. Good luck hon.... (read in full...)
I think this is wrong but I'm not sure...
Q. Hi my boyfriend is 16 im turning 13 in december is this wrong? I think it is but im not sure....
A. 30 August 2007: Trust your gut. If you think it's wrong, then there's something there that is making you think that.
The big problem with an age difference like yours (which 20 years from now would be nothing) is how quickly you change at this age. 3-4 year... (read in full...)
I am 14 and fancy my 48 year old married uncle
Q. Hi, I am 14 and i fancy my uncle who is 48 and has a wife and two children. everytime i see him i have to wait before i go out otherwise it makes me nervous and i dont know what to do! please help me. thank you Carla ...
A. 30 August 2007: Crushes are a normal part of growing up. But DO NOT act on this. Not only is he a relative, which is illegal, but you are underage, which is also illegal. He won't thank you for damaging his relationship with is wife, either. If you care about ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is breaking up with me cause he says I dont trust him
Q. hi,my partner said he is leaving me!!!!!!! he recently found out that he has an 18 year old daughter from a woman he went out with at school, then had a 1 night stand with her a few years later, i accepted he had a daughter, we havent got kids ...
A. 30 August 2007: If he hasn't wanted her in 18 years then just finding out he has a daughter by her isn't enough to make him want HER in that way. He had this huge shock and rather than being able to depend on you for support you add to the stress.
You need to ... (read in full...)
My guy hasn't contacted me for ages now, should I try and reach him or consider the relationship over???
Q. My boyfriend (we'll call him Alex for the sake of the discussion) hasn't contacted me in 7 weeks now. The last time he called, I had not heard from him in 2 weeks at that time. He was talking about personal, family and work problems but would n...
A. 30 August 2007: I am cautiously optimistic. But I don't recommend taking the initiative at all at this point. Let him call you; let him come to you. Tell him when you do see him that after seven weeks you just assumed the relationship was over, and that if he ... (read in full...)
Caught genital herpes from a cold sore... now it has rocked my relationship
Q. I have been going out with my fella for nearly a year and a half. Early on in the relationship I contracted genital herpes from a cold sore. Needless to say this hit me quite hard, but my boyfriend stuck by me and did everything he could. He treated ...
A. 29 August 2007: You need to take responsibility for your own happiness. If your happiness depends on what someone else does you have a real problem, not just in this relationship but in any relationship you have.
It may be that once he's relieved of the pressure... (read in full...)
We fell asleep together; the other competitors from the sporting club told me it's wrong, I could never have taken advantage over it though and it worries me...
Q. I'm 17 and theres this girl who's 15. We've known each other for years now and have always been really close. We went away with a sporting club a little while ago, and on the last night there, all crowded into one room. Her being much youn...
A. 29 August 2007: Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about gossip. It's out there, and you can't monitor what everyone says, especially when they want the juicy parts not the truth. Your best bet is to say, over and over, that NOTHING HAPPENED.
Conti... (read in full...)
Pleasuring myself makes me feel disgusting, but I know I shouldn't and that it's completely normal!
Q. Hi, i'm 15 years old and im not in any relationship, i've never been in a relationship before and i've never had sex, but the one thing im addicted to is masturbating. At first I always try and tell myself to stop but I end up doing it anyway and ...
A. 29 August 2007: Here is some great information about masturbation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation
It has some great sections, including "frequency, age & sex," "evolutionary purpose," and "health & psychological effects: benefits" -- I found it reall... (read in full...)
My mother hasn't spoken to me in a month and has been telling my children lies!
Q. A liitle confused. My mother hasn't been speaking to me for over a month due to the fact that I went back to my ex who she doesn't like. Mind you I have two boys ages 12 and 6 who she has been putting stuff in their heads which I think is not right ...
A. 29 August 2007: She sounds caustic. I think you are justified in keeping your sons away from her. You and your sons are better off without her; keep your fingers crossed that her "silent treatment" continues. Just stop giving her access to your sons; they don't ... (read in full...)
I told him he will get his things back when he returns the money he owes me; we're separated and I still love him...
Q. My boyfriend and i broke up 3 months ago... After being together for 7 years. Since we broke up i lent him $400 and has not paid me back and he won't take my calls, well i took some stuff of his from his place and i told him he will get them bac...
A. 29 August 2007: It's more than the money. He's done with the relationship. It's probably been coming for a while. The money is just the reason he's avoiding you; like sour icing on a bad cake.
Please write off the relationship. Anyone who treats you like thi... (read in full...)
What if she is playing me the same way she did her boyfriend?
Q. I ain't proud of what I'm about to divulge but it was great, now I seem to be tormenting myself. A couple of years ago, I was dating a girl after a year or so, we were going thru a break up. During the break-up time, I met another girl and we ...
A. 29 August 2007: Time to level with her. Tell her you really love her, and since you two agreed never to lie to each other, you're going to let her know exactly how you're feeling. Remain calm, and don't blame or you'll make her defensive, which you don't want. ... (read in full...)
How do I be cool and calm with guys?
Q. What are the best ways to be cool and calm with guys you like? I need all the advice anyone could POSSIBLY get. Different methods and different ways to deal with butterflies. Thanks. Please post answers!!! xxx...
A. 29 August 2007: Self-confidence is sexy. Work on ways to feel good about who you are. When you're comfortable in your own skin, it won't matter what the boys think. And when THAT happens, you'll be able to be around them without sweating. (And, btw, that will ... (read in full...)
I thought that going to live with him would help our long distance struggles, but things are worse now!
Q. i use to live in miami and i decided to go to school in gainesville, i had a long distant relationship with a guy from gainesville i thought when i moved up here things would get better they have just gotten more intense and fights and we cant stand ...
A. 29 August 2007: Oh hon, the reason that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is because they're not around to piss you off. Sometimes you put a distant guy on a pedastal because every time you see them it's a holiday, you're on your best behavior, and then you go ... (read in full...)
My guy hasn't contacted me for ages now, should I try and reach him or consider the relationship over???
Q. My boyfriend (we'll call him Alex for the sake of the discussion) hasn't contacted me in 7 weeks now. The last time he called, I had not heard from him in 2 weeks at that time. He was talking about personal, family and work problems but would n...
A. 27 August 2007: Consider it over, and good riddance. You want to be with someone who can't wait to call you. Don't give this jerk another thought.... (read in full...)
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