A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My husband of five years is looking at shemales. He's always had a healthy sexual appetite. However, he has been less interested in me lately and has been acting suspicious so I started monitering his computer. He looks at craig's list everyday, in our area, under erotic services from t4m (transvestites for men). My husband is a man's man so I was very floored when I discovered this. He doesn't like to dress in woman's clothing, that I know of, so I don't think that it is because he is a transvestite himself. I'm confused. I've read all kinds of forums and some people say that there is no way he's gay because gay men are not attracted to femininity. Others say straight men would never be turned-on by someone with a penis. However, what if he is gay but is ashamed etc. and feels that searching for a woman with a penis is a suitable compromise for now? This may be too personal, but I feel it is relevant, he has a thing for anal sex (which I will oblige occasionally) and only likes to have sex "doggie style". I've never thought these details strange until now. I just need some opinions on whether or not straight (not bi or gay) men could be turned on by transvestites enough to look at them everyday. Yes, I will eventually ask him myself, but for know, I'm really not supposed to have found out this information (I used a keylogger because he deletes his entire history every time he's on the computer..hence 1 suspicious action). I really don't want to cause a problem in our relationship with this fact if this is just some common fetish that most people would never persue physically.
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male
reader, seaturtle +, writes (19 November 2008):
Glad the discussion is continuing. it shows interesting similarities and diferences with different people's expreiences with this issue. my genuine sympathies are with francoi. I think someone else had mentioned that there is a progression with porn - ever stronger, ever kinkier to produce kicks. Kinda like drugs i guess. I guess i'm lucky in that I have a number of different kinks besides this one, and i go in cycles. For me it's kinda like getting into different kinds of music or food. But for me it never makes me lose my love for my basic favorite music or food. Even usually in my fantasies, and so far always in reality, I want to end up with and (dare i say) in a woman. To stay with the food idea, I'm thinking of a barbeque. The delicious food is like a woman. I'm like the charcol brickets. Sometimes I need some extra lighter fluid to start me off. That's where the knky stuff comes in. But for me, starter fluid is just that - well, starter fluid, usually.francoi - don't lose heart. maybe after a while you'll grow tired of the shemale porn and also come around in a cycle. You're still young. meanwhile i'm wondering if you've discussed this with your gf. Hopefully she's pretty open-minded and maybe you could get into some role play whch may rekindle your sexual feelings for her. Good luck to you and to everyone!
A
male
reader, Francoi  +, writes (18 November 2008):
Im a 22 years old male from Canada.And Im french so you may excuse my English.
I "consider" myself a "straight" guy.I had a girlfriend who i realy loved so much and cared about and still do.Two years ago, i got addicted to shemale porn.And i gotta tell you it's the worst thing ever happened to me.I only wish if i had never found that porn.. ever.It turned my stable life upside down.Now i get turned on only by shemales.And lately by ....males.Well, not all males just the very feminin and super hot ones.
Sex for men is all about fantasy and imagination.Wherever we find the banned..... red place, we go there.I still love my girlfriend But i don't get tunred on by her anymore.Our relation ship is in trouble.And it's my fault.
It's not only your husband problem,All my friends "over 10" who consider themselves "straight" watch shemale porn as well.
I don't know what to tell you but.Beleive me if a man marries a woman then he definitely loves her.don't break up with him.Try to get him away of porn.Make him relax in bed and tell him that women love and appreciate sex as well.Convince him that.Make him understand that you can provide pleasure for him.
And try to ban porn from your internet service.
Good luck.
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reader, jonjon68 +, writes (1 November 2008):
umm... your bf may not be gay. he may just have a shemale fetish. shemales can be hot hot hot! haven't u seen? two of them have been on America's top model recently. one of them is almost winning! she is a badddd girl. look at some shemale porn and tell me you wouldnt jerk off to it. let me explain. they have narrower hips than women, perfect legs(because they don't put fat or cellulite in those areas), great FAKE TITS, and tight asses. in europe and south america it is all the rage. if you were to post this on a board in brazil people would be confused. f*king shemales doesnt = gay. don't worry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): I too have a husband that seems to like to look at the "shemale" porn sites. I have actually brought this subject up...because it worried me ALOT.... We have only been married a little over a year. I have found these sites on his phone internet, and computer history. Now he deletes his history. He tells me he loves me and would never act on this fantasy. Why is it so hard for me to believe?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): I'm impressed by the seriousness of this discussion. Everybody's different. I think that the likelihood of your husband stepping out on you for a tg is probably no more or less likely than with a gg. In fact, probably less. Some fanatasies are fulfilled by the eventual reality. In other cases if you try to act on the fantasies it turns out to be very different - not enjoyable, and not a turn on. I've experienced this both ways with certain kinks and fetishes.
So what is straight, gay, and bi? I've seen the definitions shift. I agree with the idea that sexuality is on a continuum. Some are entirely on the gay end, many are entirely straight, and many are bi to different degrees. Also many people move along the continuum at different times of their lives - maybe even at different times of the day! I think that Kinsey and others have said that many who identify themselves as entirtely heterosexual have had one to 3 gay experiences in their lives. Then there's the fantasy continuum, which is probaly much more wide open. On the physical experience level I happen to be completely straight. On the fantasy level I'm bi. So overall I'd call myself bi-curious. But even in fantasy I'm usually only drawn to tg's or naturally feminine or andogynous males. I've heard a male attraction for only tg's described as "selectively bisexual". No one knows what to call it, and we probably get too hung up on classifying fluid human nature. Also, tg's have been called a third sex or gender.
I have many kinks and fetishes. For example, I have fetishes for makeup, nail polish, long nails and high heels - on a woman. These are pretty fashionable fetishes, but I'm sometimes more turned on when they are exggerated past mainstream fashion. When these are on a man they acqire even more power, and more turn-on for me - sometimes. It depends on my mood. I also agree with whoever mentioned the taboo and transgressive aspect. Also just added kicks and spice - embracing a very different role. That last aspect is what probably most of my kinks have in common, in different ways. I used to crossdress myself, once in a while, as a young man. Usually it was a lot of fun and a turn on. Once whith an old girlfriend, we completely exchanged roles, and both crossdressed to the opposite gender. That was a peak experience for me! As I got older I lost interest for myself, and began to appreciate it in others. The last time I completely crossdressed, I took pics of myself. Looking at them at later times It turned me on to see myself like that. Since it was myself, what would we call it - not homoerotic, not heterosexual. Maybe omni- sexual??
In the end, try not to worry too much. It's probably just a kinky relaese. If you talk to him let us know!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): Ignore anyone here that tells you he is either gay or bisexual. It it not up to anyone else to decide what another person is when it comes to their sexuality. Regardless of their own experiences. Not everyone is the same. Sexual orientation is defined by more than sexual behavior and what kind of porn arouses somebody. It's moronic and unintelligent to not consider factors such as attraction, love and romance.
Gay men are men who desire other men. Not only physically but romantically and emotionally as well. They are drawn to masculinity, not femininity. A man performing oral sex on a "shemale" might be a homosexual act, but it doesn't men the man is doing it is.
I believe some men are innately gay, while others develop homoerotic interests due to other, not so healthy experiences and/or feelings.
I believe for a large majority of men, they desire women but have deep rooted fear and anxiety when it comes to pleasuring a woman sexuality. The image of a woman with a penis injects an element of equality and replaces something he is fearful and uncertain of, with something he is very familiar with.
There is also the element of engaging in sexual activity that is shocking, taboo, dirty, secretive or bizarre. Doing something that is transgressive and out of the ordinary. This could be a major factor as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): I am female and have a loving straight boyfriend.
We are very open about our fantasies, and non judgemental.
we have recently admitted secrets no one ever knew.
He had shown me a pic of a shemale saying that he was turned on by her.
She was very attractive.
he like to be penetrated and we will take his fantasy to another level, but not with an actual shemale. he wishes that the penis were mine.
I had never before had such an honest and open bond with anyone Ever before him.
I had problems with porn when the porn or acts were secret.
Include yourself, he's afraid you'll judge him, that's why he hid it and lied. let him trust you, in every way. I had found the best sexual joy after opening up.
Your husband is not gay, he appreciates the penis cause he has one and knows how good it feels. You'll only drive him do do it more and take his fantasy further if you try to stiffle his fantasy.
I know in our case, my boyfriend is very masculine, and very straight. So he trusts me to share, that's what men love. You can strengthen your bond in so many ways by nurturing his fantasy.
All the men will agree if they have a woman who truly loves them and will never judge...the sex life and relationship is the hottest most loving one you can get.
I don't like women in a lesbian or bisexual way, but some of the shemales look really hot...especially since they don't have a vagina, I wouldn't get within 10 ft. of a vagina but i guess even for women they look hot.
accept him and build him up..in all aSPECTS IT CAN BE SUCESS THAT WAY
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): Interesting fact,There is a porn site out there,im not gonna tell what site it is but it is a free site and has all the free tranny shemale porn on it you can get.There are different categories of porn and one of them is special in that you go to it and there is a chat area,its like a porn chat,well there are about 10 categories of different types of porn,lezbian,gay,anal,shemale,interacial and a few more.Just like any chat room,you can look how man people are in these rooms,surprisingly the shemale room almost always has the most people in it.I started looking at shemale porn when i was around 20 yrs old,i love women and want to marry a woman oneday.I still like looking at shemale porn although i want to be with a woman.One of the post i read said something about internet porn being a gateway to the real thing,this is true bc i actually tried being with a shemale and i didnt like it,but then again i still watch shemale porn 6 years later.I was in a serious relationship with a girl and i didnt look at shemale porn while we were together,i never wanted to or anything,and we had a good sex life also,we tried lots of different things in bed .I guess some of these guys in relaionships are turning to porn bc they are not getting satisfied in bed or they are bored and want to venture out.To all the women that are catching their bfs looking to actually meet them,i would probably say leave them bc they are gonna have this urge untill they actually go through with it and see if they like it.If i didnt try it yet,i would probably look untill i did but since i did try it and didnt like it,i wont do it anymore.Its really weird that i still watch shemale porn considering i tried the real thing and didnt like it
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): Here it is ladies, I watch a lot of shemale porn and I most definitely am not gay. Some people can have a healthy relationship with porn, some can't.Talk to your husband/boyfriend, explain to him that you understand it's addictive nature and you just want to talk about it. Don't be accusatory, don't ask to see it.Now, if the man is just watching a little porn, that's pretty typical. My belief is that shemale porn is just a progression from straight porn that occurs when you cross a line into addiction at some point in your past. Meaning, at some point your husband/boyfriend was watching A LOT of porn, too much to be healthy. As that happened he started finding different things, and eventually stumbled upon shemales. It's just a progression that happens to many people. Just be supportive, and try to see if he can break the habit, if he can't, and you can't deal, then dump him. Life is too short to get hung up on shit like this, and if he won't stop, well, who knows where it can lead.Now, I suppose there may also be guys that just like shemale porn, without any weird addiction to straight porn. I doubt it though, and if they do, they're probably screwed up from some childhood thing or something. I don't know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): I consider myself to be straight. Have always dated women. Currently have a girlfriend that I've been with for 8 months now, but I do enjoy shemale porn and watch/look at it all the time.
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reader, jessicasanfrancisco +, writes (3 September 2008):
Hi,As someone often referred to as a "shemale" I can probably answer that question for you from "our" side. As quickly as I can Is it a fairly common fetish? - Yes.Is he gay? - Probably, at the very least he's bisexual.I am quite a popular escort (read Prostitute) here in San Francisco and still have my male genitalia. A lot of "girls" live and work as women 24/7 and some of us pay our bills working in the adult industry. A lot of us work to get a large amount of money to be able to pay for surgery to remove this male genitalia. Once this genitalia is removed the "clients" and adult work vanishes overnight...coincidence? A lot of us notice that when guys arrive to meet us they are all about what is in our panties because lets face it they would be with females if they weren't interested in the extra something we have. The vast majority however are bisexual and love straight girls too so if you're not all freaked out by his wanting to be penetrated or perform oral sex on male genitalia then let your life be a happy one.Jess
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reader, zorro111  +, writes (14 August 2008):
the reasons i got into shemales. i like anal sex. i feel they are misunderstood, and can identify with that. i didnt initally like the idea of ladyboys or crying game. but ive always carried an inkling on crossing the line when it comes to attraction - our private parts speaks. and at heart we are all human. the majority of the reasons we are attracted to someone in the first place is because of how they look - the look is the first or most vivid draw for attraction. so if i saw a very very good looking woman and i find here attractive, then find out she is or was a man or has a penis then i turn that around then i am a liar. so attractive in visual pleasing but wanting to sleep with them after the knowledge of penis is another story. it comes down to fascination. they have a dick but they dont consdier themeselves men. its strange but
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): im a straight male, and i am attracted to shemale porn. b4 you say anything hear me out first.
I started out normal, as a teen you get exposed to porn, thats what happened. i was enjoying regular porn... until i got to know about lesbian porn.!!! "WOW" I thought thats it, i found my gig "lesbian porn", cuz i didn't much care for regular porn cuz i didn't enjoy watching male performers.
Then i got exposed to lesbian porn with strapon dildos. i was like this is just ice-ing on the cake, now i can enjoy full male type penetration without staring at a man shoving his penis. and thats where the shemales come in. I eventually was exposed to shemale porn, and i ditched lesbian porn because now instead of plastic penis there is real penis that doesn't belong to a guy(atleast this person is much much more like a woman with breast). So thats what i enjoy, i like shemales with real females porn. but i have never done it with a shemale, nor i would go to that step, plus i don't even like anal sex, giving or receiving.
so what would you call that now? GAY!!! I don't think so...and yes i was sexually molested when i was like 11 yrs old at an arcade place by a some man. It doesn't have to do anything with this... cuz i can't find a connection.
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reader, evas +, writes (21 June 2008):
OK, here's the truth from a guy who has struggled with this crap for a bit. 1. Shemale porn is a deception for men who have looked at it are just ridding the fence ; no they're not gay but yet the true love they should have for a woman has been twisted. 2. It can also be the picture of self-centered sexual desires. Let's face it, we men respond to visuals and porn on the Net is way to easy. 3.Ask your man this, has he ever been molested or had an encounter with another male when they were young. This question may tick a lot of people off but this is the truth. You might find out that he's dealling with something deeper that he needs to get out in the open and say yes or no to. Porn's a marriage killer,I know this. It can lead to an unhealthy appetite for sex as well. Time's too short and we men can't play with this stuff and expect to have good healthy marriages.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): I ask my boyfriend if I could use his computer to ck my email then this site pop-up i did not know what to say. So I did not say anything but looked at the history and everything was shemale on it I did not even know what a shemale was. Then I look at his favorite and it was save all over.
Am not sure what to do? The problem is that he is very good to me, but when it comes to sex he does not really care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): keylogger because he deletes his entire history every time he's on the computer..Just want to tell you that he is most likely a ashamed, or abused as a child type person and needs , help to find out and identify his experiences when he was a young boy. This might not be relavent but , I have the same thing going on except its , shemales with long penis' that intrigue me . I had dreams thirty years ago when I was just a littel boy of women like that looked like my mother with a horse size penis in the dream.... maybe he never got a lot of attention when he was little ...like me ...but I am focusing on volenteering at my church and seeking a deeper meaning through a day by day relationship with Jesus, the one in the Bible ...I know it sounds wierd , why would God even waste his time with someone so messed up like me but I think God does understand what sexual abuse I experienced when I was 11 and how its taken me a long time to identify and file these correctly in my mind and heart to be able to go on , without having to fufill all of the dreams I dreamnt...dan, californiahence 1 suspicious action). I really don't want to cause a problem in our relationship with this fact if this is just some common fetish that most people would never persue physically.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): There is no need to argue,
its a taboo
its not gay
its not sick
its been going on for along time
i think alot of you are taking this way out of proportion...
also ladies, it sounds like most of you are just looking for a reason to have a problem and sadly your own insecurities are to blame here along with your guys curiousity... Its called the human condition now get on with your lives and stop this blatent over the top stupidity...
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reader, milliemoo +, writes (30 April 2008):
I too have had the same thing happen to me. I found that the internet history was being deleted on the P
C many times. It wasnt until a search 'shemale cry' was left on the history that the real truth began to unravel. What I find most frustrating is that my husband (of just over a year) will not tell me what he has been using the sites for. He said he just likes to look at them because of something that happened in his youtha sexual experience . He COMPLETELY denied using downloaded videos for, shall we say ' sexual release'. My husband and i have been married for just over a year and in the last 6 months since we have been married our sex life was very hit and miss. Sometimes making love only once a month. My husband has always insisted that he loves and adores me in every way, yet I have found this revelation has destroyed my sexual confidence and left me so perplexed. What I need to understand is if my husband has visited these sites just because of what he described as an 'experience' from his youth or if he yearns some way of finding an acceptable outlet for homosexuality?
I know some of these posts put forward that men are not immediatley classed as 'gay' for looking at these porn sites. But I question, if in a world where a mans man finds the idea of 'homosexuality' as non-conformist in his 'social circles' does this not give him the ideal excuse to rationalise and make it okay as shemales look feminine but have the 'core goods' which offer an acceptable median?
Sorry to waffle on, but im still hurting, my husband will not give me the whole truth around why he used/uses these sites. but when the trust is lost and your confidence has been destroyed you have to ask yourself if it is worth the pain in living with? My husband has promised never to use these sites ever again, and i must admit he seems sincere. But with that knowledge can you honestly say that you will never compare yourself to a 'shemale' when you are in the bedroom together?
I'm in the same boat as you and struggling to know if this is something I can come to terms with. I have repetedly become angry, said some very hurtful and resentful things to my husband.
Let me know how you get on, cause I feel as if my head is gonna explode!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): I too have had the same thing happen to me. I found that the internet history was being deleted on the PC many times. It wasnt until a search 'shemale cry' was left on the history that the real truth began to unravel. What I find most frustrating is that my husband will not tell me what he has been using the sites for. He said he just likes to look at them because of a sexual experience that happened in his youth. He COMPLETELY denied using them for, shall we say 'sexual release'. My husband and i have been married for just over a year and since we were married our sex life became very hit and miss. Sometimes only making love once a month. My husband has always insisted that he loves and adores me in every way, yet I have found this revelation has destroyed my sexual confidence and left me so perplexed. What I need to understand is if my husband has visited these sites just because of an 'experience' from his youth or if he yearns some way of finding an acceptable outlet for homosexuality?
I know some of these posts put forward that men are not immediatley classed as 'gay' for looking at these porn sites. But I question, if in a world where a mans man finds the idea of homosexuality as 'non-conformist' in 'his' particualar social circles does this not give him the ideal excuse to rationalise and make it okay (as shemales look feminine but have the 'core goods' which offer an acceptable median)?
Sorry to waffle on, but im still hurting, my husband will not give me the whole truth around why he used/uses these sites, and I become angry,resentful and say some very hurtful things. He has promised never to use these sites ever again, and i must admit he does seems sincere. But when the trust is lost and self confidence has been destroyed you have to ask yourself if it is worth the pain in living with that knowledge? can you honestly say that you will never compare yourself to a 'shemale' when you are in the bedroom together?
I'm in the same boat as you and struggling to know if this is something I can come to terms with.
Let me know how you get on, cause I feel as if my head is gonna explode!
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reader, Tristan_007 +, writes (4 April 2008):
I am a 23 year old straight male, I have always been attracted to women but I am also attracted to transexuals. I was 17 the first time I saw a shemale it was a drawing of a beautiful women with a penis. Ever since I have fantasised and looked at shemale porn. I have slept with many women and had relationship with two. I have never slept with a transexual although I have thought and fantasised about it. I only find attractive the ones that look exactly like a girl with smooth body with little make up. What I find attractive is the femininety, their perfect body, beautiful face and round ass. They like to be penetrated just like a girl, they like to be dominated. For me its so erotic the fact that you are dominating someone so attractive with a penis, treating her like a girl. My favorite porn star is a lady called Patricia Araujo she is incredibly attractive if you look at her then you know why straight men find them attractive. In my opinion it does not make you gay because I still find women very attractive I want to get married to one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): I am a male attracted to she-males, and the attraction has driven me to depression, but more on that later in this post.
To answer the main question, the answer is YES, it is a common fetish:
I have come across many forums in which men wonder why they are aroused by transsexuals, while they claim they aren't attracted to men. I feel the same way; the thought of TOUCHING another man does not arouse me at all. I have always been attracted to females, physically and psychologically. I have had several girlfriends, with whom I had sex. I love girls.
Going back to my experience with she-male attraction:
... I'm sorry, but I have been awake for over 24 hours and I feel too weak to type the long post I want to. But please come back to check on it, for I WILL tell my story. I have two objectives: HELP others and SEEK help.
I apologize. See you later!
- Richard
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): I'm sorry to hear so many of you ladies are confused and going through rought waters in your relationships I can give you an honest inside into the shemale smoking mirror fetish.I'm a post op female m2f lady meaning I had my srs, I'm a receptionist for a real estate company in new york city. I had to do escort when I wasn't a female when I was a shemale and I never understood why guys where such hyprocrites and I always believe that guys that were into shemales were straight. THAT IS NOT THE CASE.After been a female for 9 years passable to the point where my relationship with men and unaware of my past I can give you a real truthful answer. I do not in any way hide my past from my boyfriends but to some point I can relate to having once found out a guy I dated liked shemales. I was disgusted and angry not becaused I'm closed minded I'm ok to people having their fantasies but to him lying to me when I comfronted himif your husband or bf likes shemales he is attracted to the same sex . A shemale ladyboy has a penis and most guys suck her penis or get penetrated by a penis this is bisexuality or going towards the gay spectrum just because she has breast does not change the fact that he is sucking a penis and is getting penetrated,, When I used to be an escort I saw marry guys swallowing shemale cum and It was so sad that this man where not honest with themselves or their wives. Ladies your health is been put at risk and you are in a relationship that you will never be love becaused he is with you due to societies expectations.The porn industry is about making money and they push delusional fetishes why would shemale porn be considered straight if the definition of straight is opposite sex not same sex doesn't matter where she looks feminine and spends thousands in plastic surgery. Female porn stars are just as beautiful if not more since is nature and they have fake breast and do anal. If a men is into shemale is becaused of the fantasy of a chick with a dick,, If shemale porn is put with the bisexual category men with think and come to conclusion that they are not straight so they would rather cater to men fantasy even if is pushing an ideology that pushes their pornography.A man that is into shemales will never be completely happy with a female because he will always miss that fantasy. If your men is into shemale porn he is living a double life and he is not been honest. Wouldn't you rather be loved for been a female than been with someone that doesn't love you and is with you just for societies standards I know is hard to start over again or get divorce but you got to love yourself People change. It is normal to experiment but experimenting is a one thing deal not a constant sexual appetite.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): I have to agree with 'Wierdo' on this question. Im 26 myself, from Ireland & I too have become increasingly attracted to porn & in the last 4 years, shemale porn. From the age of 15 to 23, I thought of nothing but women, girls & my fantasies all revolved around them. Isnt homosexuality something that is supposed to develop during pubertity?! Anyways, I guess as my porn addiction increased, so did it become more hardcore, & anal sex would be one of different things that began to arouse me. I did brush over shemale porn after about a year of looking at porn in general, but I never went to specifically look it up, until my addiction grew stronger. The thing that makes me different from most who suffer from this 'freak' addiction, is that I actually slept with a shemale prostitute in Australia in 2005. I believed this person to be a woman at 1st, but when we got back to her/his place, I was told the truth. I was heavily intoxicated(we wont get into that other problem of mine!), and I agreed to sleep with this person, to my horror & dismay the next day. I guess it was a combination of the porn addiction, anal sex addiction, the alcohol level & the fact that at the time I knew what I was doing was so wrong & that if my friends & girlfriend of the time ever found out they would disown me, but I also knew they would never find out... So I will finish my post by saying that I dont believe looking at ladyboy/shemale porn means one is gay for the most part & the porn industry is creating people like me & others addicts. I am still fighting my addiction, but I do manage to surpress it for weeks or sometimes into the 2nd month. I guess Im lucky that Im not married & single at the moment so that no 1 else can get hurt with this. If any 1 can offer me a bit of advise on quitting for good I would be glad to hear it. Regards, annonomous Rich
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): I recently found out that my husband of 12 yrs was addicted shemale porn. He watched online shemale porn everyday for hours after work. He visited asian shemale sites and even planned to travel to asia, wanted a day alone without me being around. He made a homemade wax dildo to enjoy anal masterbation (he learned how to make one from youtube clip). I confronted him, we had a big fight. He claimed that shemales were men. He denied that he was gay and never had been with another man. He wanted a divorce and told me that I brought nothing but misery to him. He made me promise not to bring this shemale topic again letting me to believe that he was through with it. A couple of weeks later, he went back on these shemale porns and this time he put a password on his computer so that I couldn't find out. He explained the password was his space, something he wanted to have for himself, his own privacy that NO ONE ALLOWS TO ACCESS. I know he was back on his addictions again. He accessed these sites when I was not home. I researched and was able to put the stop his addiction by using our DSL router at home as a porn filter device (as parenting control as you will). It filters anything with SHEMALE, LADYBOY, TRANNY, TRANSEXUAL etc. He got mad for hours but could not confront me because he was the one made the promise not to talk about his ever again. Now all of our computer at the house do not have access to any of these websites.My husband is going through some addiction recovering right now. It has been 3 weeks without any shemale porn. I dont know how long it will take him to overcome his addction. I agree with some thoughts about men dont think shemales are men because of the feminine upper bodies. Shemales go the a great lenght to make themselves more attractive than normal women because they wanted so bad to become ones. Men often say "I dont care if they are fake (implant boobs), if I can touch them, they are real." This let me to believe men really think shemales are nothing but women. My husband is a hypocrite. He hate men being with other men (gay or bi) but it is ok for him to fantasize shemales. I pray alot for him to open his heart to God and to help us through this difficult time.I can understand someones have identity disorder and want to have a sex change opperation to become the opposite sex. However the porn industry focuses on making these shemales as an attraction for money really discusses me. I call these porn shemales freaks, I called my husband a freak if and when he was turned on by these porn shemales. The porn industry really dehumanize the real situations of some ppl going after the own hearts on sex operations.I have studied a good bit on transexuals, transgenders and transvestites. Most sex slave transgenders die from AIDS because they cant find jobs and will turn to selling sex for money to support hormones. I just can't imagine what they have to go through in life to change their identity form male to female, female to male. Again, the shemale porn industry damages the true causes.I am forgiving my husband on his shemale sex addiction as long as he keeps his promises to stay away from it. It did damage my marriage at certain point. I always doubt his sexual perversion, at least for awhile yet.I hope you can stop your husband from watching shemale porn or chatting online. I practice "Out of sight out of mind" and so far it is working. Good luck
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reader, Weirdo  +, writes (7 February 2008):
Sorry for my English... i'm trying to get better in it First of all i want to say i'm straight.. im 19... was in love with 3 girls till now altough unlucky in love.. i didn't had any sexuall experience till this point and was never interested in man, i was with girls but i didn had sex with em, the relationships didn lasted eneugh.. the main reason is the OCD(Opsessive Compulsive disorder, it isnt just about repeating some actions in some order or simmilar stuff its much much more)im handsom, athletic build, not ugly and i lack Selfconfidence, even if there is no reason for that,the reason is OCD plus other stuff that come along in the Package with OCD ,so i started early to watch porn and get addicted to it.. (sexuall addiction)..i cant be bi or gay i know it, as an OCD guy i asked that myself a lot.. cos as an ocd ur always thinking that something is not ok with u... "i have aids!! even if didn got even a chance to get it". So i searched alot on the forums ,sites thinking first that im gay or bi but its not like that... iv come across some usefull information from other ppl and from my experience that il write down here... its gonna be a long post as manny of u can see but its worth reading it.. cos i add some new reasons for the Shemale atraction ...reading alot about this sensation iv come across that gay ppl arent turned on by shemales... its because homosexuals arent turned on by the penises as some ppl would assume, gay ppl are turned on by the male body, they dont say that they are turned off by the penises either but it isnt the penis that turns them on.. so unless u like guys.. and u get a hard on, muscular bodies or hairy chests,u probably arent gay or bisexuall ... i pointed this out just to make some things clear... There can be much reasons why somone would watch shemale porn including that he is a repressed bisexuall or that he has repressed homoerotic fantasys, so i can say that the reasons for shemale atraction vary from subject to subject from a person to another... here are few reasons why somone could be atracted to shemales.. i line up the reasons why im thinking i got turned on by them lately...1. O.C.D (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) the main reason; Altough i dont have the extreme case of ocd i still have it... what mostly ppl probably dont know is that ocd can involve Obsesive toughts of Sexuall nature.. those toughts include Sexuall behaviour towards others in form of homosexuall , perverted and vorbidden sexuall, actions (remember this are only toughts) to make things clear i can say that ocd ppl may think alot how it would be to jump from a building to commit suicide but they probably never gonna do it... they think about it but they dont do it, this should not be differet from the Sexuall Obsesive toughts.These toughts or this kind of obsessive thinking can lead to shemale atraction as something perverted, forbbiden.2. Anal Fetish as somone mentioned before... as far as i can remember and as far i watched porn i always have been turned on by sexuall actions from behind (straight anal porn). There can be many reasons why somone could have Anal fetish but one i mentioned above could be cos of the o.c.d Obsessive toughts involving perverted, forbidden sexuall actions, im not saying that im turned off by the p***y but im not turned on much either. The question now could be,what does this have to do with shemale atraction? the Answer is simple, not much girls allow anal penetration to their boyfriends or husbands , imagine a "girl" that can be only fu***d in the a** , for somone with the anal fetish this is a very interesting tought from wich comes the shemale attraction... i have to mention that im to only atracted to shemales with very or better sayed ultra feminine looks and that im only watching the kind of shemale porn in wich a man is not penetrated..so this has to do again more with thinking and imagining of such girls, to wich the shemale are the closest form.. coming back again to the OCD and the Sexuall Obsessive toughts. Gonna mention that i had like most of guys out there probably, sometimes when i was drunk imagined how it could be to put a finger in my a** the tought about it was the part that excited me... but the action itself cos i done it few times... wasnt very pleasant..and not much excited.. This can be probably linked with Anal fetish..3. The last but not less important thing is Sexuall addiction(i started to fight it... deleted all my porns i had on the computer and im trying not to visit the porn sites altough i didn tought that its gonna be so dificult.... ) the shemales arent something new to me.. iv seen them few years ago on porn channels had plenty of chances to see them on internet since then but i havent done it.. reason? the sexuall adiction like any other adiction as somone mentioned before starts from softer porn to harder porn and more perverted porn... like a drug user that starts using hard drugs after the soft one dont get him satisfied any more, its the same with sexuall adiction... ocd, anal fetish and sexuall adiction is a very bad combination... As long as i didn saw all the possible anal porn and as far there was still something new to discover i was not interested in shemale porn, i was not either freely entering into this kind of porn... i did it accidentally..i wasnt even thinking about watching it. i was searching for clips of a pornstar, and when i started to watch it i saw them.. 2 shemales penetrating her.. in this sitation its like new doors and dimensions opened for my perverted mind... a new continent do discover, something new, something different something even more Perverted... i have to get rid off this addiction for sure.. this is lasting for about a month now and only this kind of porn gives me the necessary kick to get rly turned on so i decided to stop it before its gonna start to take over my mind even if its hard to stop...Lately i have intensive erotic dreams 95% of em include me f*****g, kissing, touching girls, known girls of mine or some imaginary ... explanation.. probably lack of sexuall activities and sex overall in my life..(before i kissed a girl i dreamt regulary of that :P ) few of them included shemales but its just curiosity imo.. A compleatly different situation is when i encounter a girl that i found atractive in real life...it sounds sad but i could only touch her boobs and start to hmmm... u know what to do :)So by me its probably just a fetish :) sexuall addiction ocd.. by other ppl it can be something different but il just repeat the sentance somone wrote on some site or forum " u are not gay, and u are probably not bisexuall either you are just a sick bastard :D " take it with humour ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I just found out my fiance has been looking at shemale porn and I'm horrified. We have spoken about it and he insists it's just a fantasy and that he would never act on it - but I also found he'd been looking at escort and nightlub sites. He says, like other men here, that he only likes looking at the 'pretty ones' which to him means he's looking at women. But they have cocks for goodness sakes! Like other men here, he says he doesn't know why it turns him on, it just does. Oh come on! It's a man, with a dick - if you fancy it you must be bisexual - you must know why you like it! I asked him how he would feel if he found I'd been looking at women dressed as men - he said I would assume I had lesbian tendancies. Sorry but this isn't 'normal' - you can't say you're striaght and at the same time like looking at dicks (one of the videos was a tranny masturbating). Looks like I'm not getting married now - i'm gutted. But hey, we'd only had sex about 10 times in 3 years, he only has female friends so who's the fool...
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): I am disgusted at the thought of grown men looking at other men..seriously I dont care how much logic you try to put into it that they are not males..you're just in denial and need to come out of the closet cuz you are bi. They are humans born male who have enhanced they appearance to be women..but they are men..and born males. My husband does this too and it just grosses me out and recently I have caught him googling where to meet shemales. that is a sure sign that porn is a gateway to more things. This guys say that they dont act out on it but look at them looking at it, they obiviously were curious about it. What's to stop them from physically trying it out and gfulling that curiouslity. I am scared of diseases in general and he thought of my man screwing a shemale gives me the creeps that i may catch something. Them looking at porn is not a disease..people...they are addicts. They always will be unless they get help. They start out small and eventually more will happen. GOOD LUCK
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): If your man is fooling around, no matter who it is with, then you have a serious problem on your hands. However, if he is only looking at shemale porn, I don't see why it is such a big deal. Men look at all kinds of different porn. You would be shocked and amazed at the things we look at or think about. But civilization takes over and we don't act out on it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): The turn-on about shemales is that they are sexy femininine in appearence but presumably have a "Male" sex drive. Also shemale can allow male to be submissive sexually which NEVER happens in a sexual relationship with females.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): One thing that got me fascinated with shemales is that they are women, but they got something masculine. The thought of a petite little lady with all her nice ultra-feminine mannerisms, and a mean machine gun between her legs really gets me "confused". It is similar to the woman-smoking fetish, or to the woman-driver fetish in those countries where driving is considered something very manly and not normally done by women, or the woman-soldier-machine-gunner fetish, etc.
Try to talk about this with your husband, and then reach some sort of a BDSM ritual agreement, where you put on a strap-on, and he has to give you a BJ. He must perform the BJ like your subordinate on your command, like order it anytime you catch him watching porn. Maybe get an army uniform with officer markings, etc, or put on a man's business suit that a CEO would wear. You want to retain your femininity, but look like you're doing something in the "manly" domain. For better instructions, talk to a sex therapist. Maybe this way he'll associate this "woman-performing-manly-action" fetish with you rather than with some porn.
Hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): obviously has some issues from childhood
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007):
just a few questions from one who is also in a similar situation..
Do you think HE would be as understanding and willing to research if YOU were the one with an alternative sexual curiosity?
Don't kid yourself..men are far less forgiving and understanding...
Is he worth the time and energy you are spending on this?
and if so.. are YOU OK with living with this for the rest of your life.. because it does not go away!
Comment: I am so tired of men making excuses for themselves and making such an effort to manage the perception of others regarding their own obsessive behavior..
where does it stop? when do women say enough?
really, let's face reality and let them do what they feel the urge to do .. as long as they do it alone and not while they are in a "relationship" with a women.
if it were the woman doing this there would be zero tolerance!!!!!!!!!!
let him go..
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): I am a man, going through the same issue with my girlfried of a year. I've visited TS porn sites, and even messed around a bit on craigslist. She's had a really hard time coming to terms with this and I've had a really hard time communicating why I find it attractive.
I agree with some of the more calming reassurances that the man is not gay, that the mind and sexuality are complicated things and situations like this should be handled with delicacy, not guns a blazin.
The TS porn I like is where the model appears very feminine, and through looks and behaviour comes off as a woman with something extra. Not to be confused with cross dressers or transvestites.
After a few rocky days of me constantly trying to reassure her that she is not inadequate for my sexual tastes, and her reading on the internet about how common it is for men to have this fantasy, she has decided to support me in it and I can't tell you how happy this makes me to not have to feel ashamed about this part of myself. That the woman I love knows everything about me and loves me back.
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reader, sam581 +, writes (27 November 2007):
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