A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My husband of five years is looking at shemales. He's always had a healthy sexual appetite. However, he has been less interested in me lately and has been acting suspicious so I started monitering his computer. He looks at craig's list everyday, in our area, under erotic services from t4m (transvestites for men). My husband is a man's man so I was very floored when I discovered this. He doesn't like to dress in woman's clothing, that I know of, so I don't think that it is because he is a transvestite himself. I'm confused. I've read all kinds of forums and some people say that there is no way he's gay because gay men are not attracted to femininity. Others say straight men would never be turned-on by someone with a penis. However, what if he is gay but is ashamed etc. and feels that searching for a woman with a penis is a suitable compromise for now? This may be too personal, but I feel it is relevant, he has a thing for anal sex (which I will oblige occasionally) and only likes to have sex "doggie style". I've never thought these details strange until now. I just need some opinions on whether or not straight (not bi or gay) men could be turned on by transvestites enough to look at them everyday. Yes, I will eventually ask him myself, but for know, I'm really not supposed to have found out this information (I used a keylogger because he deletes his entire history every time he's on the computer..hence 1 suspicious action). I really don't want to cause a problem in our relationship with this fact if this is just some common fetish that most people would never persue physically.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): I dont think its to unnormal people are always intrested in things they shouldnt by nature. I love shemale porn but am not gay at all. the farthest i would consider going would be a women with a strapon tho but i dont consider this gay. Anal stimulation is a popular sexual fanatacy for men but you have to find one willing to admit it.
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female
reader, samehere2009 +, writes (1 November 2009):
What pisses me off about my husband is the secrecy about it. If you want to sleep with shemales & gays, so be it, but give me the option to put your ass out beforehand that way you can screw around on craigslist when you're by yourself and not be puttin me at risk or let me figure out a way for all of us to have fun. No I dont have a problem with gays or shemales. I have a problem with liars, especially married liars. It's okay to watch the movies and fantasize, weve done that, but anything you are doing behind your partners back is nothing but wrong...
On another note, I can see how a man would be attracted to a shemale. Some of them are Georgeous & you just wouldnt know they are girls with penises until the pants come down...
Along with shemales, my husband wants to pound the gay dude's ass which makes me believe he is bi, but he could of just said that and we could work things out in a safe manner.. Ive been to the strip clubs with him and rubbed asses along with him. I dont understand why he couldnt be truthful about this.. He has been meeting people at truck stops, book stores, & adult theaters and if he is like he was when we first met,sometimes he couldnt wait to get in the house if you know what I mean..the driveway..No protection at all.
Just be truthful and upfront. Hell your wife may be bored with you and want to have fun too.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009): hi i think it could be just a phase.
i think all it will take is for him to try it out.
coz well the new an untried always appeals to me more than the boring stuff mayb its me who is into this type of kinky stuff or mayb i just like to try something new.
my only sugestion is either let him try it out or try an make it work for you aka keep things fresh dnt know how tho that is up to u
i only say good luk an hope it works out plus no dout this is proberly to l8 ow well
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male
reader, mario4hustle +, writes (24 September 2009):
sorry boo, at some point he will bore with watching porn an will want the real thing. my advice is for you to talk it over with him an make sure he uses protection. have a safe life.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): I am a man's man and I love watching shemale porn.
I have actually gone one step further and have paid shemale escorts, have been active (fucked them) and been passive (been fucked by them).
It is adorable!
It all stems from the love for anal.
I am not gay, though I have also had sex with men.
I am bisexual in the true sense of the word.
I suspect he also is bisexual and loves the feeling of fucking a shemale, so he gets the best of both worlds.
One step further would be a bi couple.
It does not mean he does not love you or is not interested in you.
It is a sexual thing and that is all.
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male
reader, seaturtle +, writes (15 August 2009):
That could be true. Butit doesn't have to be. I'm not involved w anybody right now. Sometimes I look at some of thecrazy CL ads but i never answer them. Why not? It wouldn't be cheating, i don't have anyone to cheat on. Theyre just too crazy. I just do it for fun and to stimulat my imagination when i'm in a certain mood. so ya never know.
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reader, Max Mouse  +, writes (6 August 2009):
Uhhh hate to you tell this but if he on's craiglist looking for anything that involves girls,guys,shemales.... he's cheating on you.. you should leave him..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2009): My boyfriend and I are both in our 20's. He is in his early and I am in my late. So the things that he wanted to try sexual really never surprised me. I have my own kinky things that I would never share with the rest of the world but I'd never let them eat away at me. I am who I am, and I'm with who I'm with. He however is very closed off to almost everything, good or bad he has a hard time saying how he feels and what he wants. He is Very Very sneeky. It all started when he lightly brought up the subject about shemales. I accepted it as a kinky thought and said how I understood how it is said to be the best of both worlds, because I do believe that it is. Well a few weeks later I got lucky enough to have found some rather interesting pictures of him that it just so happens I enjoy viewing myself. At first, I thought he was playing a very funny joke on me but then he freaked! He thought we would be over. I tried my best to comfort him to let him know that I accepted him and loved him and that the pictures turned me on. I asked him why he held these feelings in for so long when he KNEW I was OPEN to different ideas as far as sex goes. He stated that he's had these feelings since he was younger and he didn't want to ruin the worlds view of him and hasn't felt he could trust anyone with his secret. Which prior to this conversation we were fighting all the time, and sex was never in the picture. Moving on, the sex was good for the first few days but now it seems that every corner I turn with him there's something else. He now has more shemale "friends" and still plays that "Mans Man" part and it pisses me off. He has begun to "cover the bad with doing something nice" trick and I'm older and see clearly through it.I love him, and I love the fact that I can TOTALLY enjoy him in the bedroom now, but I still feel like he hides a whole lot of stuff back from me. So what does it sound like I should do? Like I said I am older but I have already invested emotions into this confussed manboy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): My boyfriend was on a matchmaking site, i broke into it and to my horror saw his profile, i went through hell for 2 years trying to think of why he takes such an interest in this, i wonder all the time if he is just using me for an everyday picture perfect life but in reality he may be gay. his profile said he was bi-curious, well to me by curiosity is closer to being gay.
I love the guy and have stayed with him but he deletes parts of our internet history and makes me feel like he's up to his old tricks to try and pick up, he denied any such profile and it weas gone the day after confronting him about it.
He has lost interest in intimacy, i have to initiate sex if i want it. It worries me that im living everyday in the hope that he is a perfectly normal guy but in reality he has no respect for me and our relationship to even think about she-males
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): It's normal to be turned on by that stuff, but looking at craigslist is a deal breaker. Dump him and find another man.
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reader, bitotry +, writes (11 June 2009):
My wife and I got married 8 years ago. On occasion, since early on in our marriage, we would watch Cinemax's late at night movies which are basically soft porn. Usually they involve straight sex and lesbian sex. My wife and I would both get turned on and have great sex. Somehow, about 3 years later we would talk a little more about what turned us on in bed. I mentioned to my wife that I was turned on by the idea of a threesome with two girls, she told me that sometimes she fantasized about other men.We would talk along these lines on occasion and would always get very turned on. Then one night, out of the blue, my wife informed me that she often fantasized about other women performing cunnilingus on her and had been since we had started watching Cinemax mild porn and seeing girl on girl sex. This turned me on like nothing had ever done before and the ideas running through my brain were of course endless. The sex that night was amazing!! We started discussing different positions we would have with another woman, etc.Finally, about 3 months later, I worked up the courage to tell my wife that I fantasized about being with other men and had done so for many years - but never did anything. She took it completely in her stride and was visibly turned on. I told her all the things I would like to do with another man and again, the sex was explosive. Ever since then, we have the most incredible sex talking about our fantasies - straight sex, gay sex, lesbian sex, bisexual sex, we enjoy talking about it all. Someday we may actually take things to a physical level. But it doesn't matter. Just telling each other drives us both crazy and our sex just seems to get better each time. I have told her that she can cheat on me with either sex and she is slowly warming up to the idea of me having sex with another woman. For a long time now she has not had a problem with the idea of a female masseuse giving me a "happy ending" (by hand only) and recently has told me that she has no problem with a male masseuse giving me a happy ending by hand or mouth and I am allowed to return the favor.For me, I am more attracted to penises than I am men. So a transsexual is a huge turn-on. Never in a million years would I consider myself gay or my wife lesbian, although she doesn't look at other men, only other women and if she does decide to cheat on me she wants it to be with a woman. On saying that, as stated earlier, our sex life is fantastic and she does fantasize about men. We are both definitely bicurious at this juncture. My wife is not attracted to TSs but is totally down with me being attracted to them.I guess what I am trying to say here is that admitting your sexual preferences to your partner is the hardest step and ultimately the best step to take in your relationship. Start out slow and watch porn together, or watch it by yourself first. When masturbating, think about other women and see how you like it. And for the love of Pete, if you don't masturbate, then you need to start. Talk about sex with your man and tell him what turns you on when it comes to the opposite sex, expand on it, if he likes girl on girl porn you can tell him it looks hot and get his reaction. Get some guy on guy stuff see if you like it - tell him if it does, get his reaction. Imagine him with a guy, tell him if it turns you on. But be honest and take it step by step, build to a point where you are both comfortable discussing each other's sexuality. That's all the advise I can give. Hopefully my advice can give some insight into what to do. My wife and I are normal people who open up in the bedroom and have a really great time. Enjoy yourself with sex - hold nothing back, you will be glad you did.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): I am single guy I love shemales and females . I Like to be with a man giving me. And If I find a femenized man very charming I will give to him . I really do not know what I am sexually since I like everything depending in the other person it all about attration. Your husband needs to be becareful about this. If he loves his family he better give up all this behaviors. That is why I wont get married. Because a family needs respect. I seen a lot of married guy with transexuals I go to a transexual bar to get a ladyboy and I see these guys married guys, rch guys, black guys ,latinos ,white guys . You cannot imagine . I never know who is who .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): My fiance and I have been together for quite some time. I am currently pregnant with his first child. I recently found out that he likes to watch shemale porn and I have also found emails of him writing to shemale's on craiglist asking them if they come? what they like? etc...I confronted him once and he stated that it was only his curiosity but that he would never do it. I recently found shemale porn in his laptop again and I am concern. He is such a man's man... He is all about loving the ladies but somehow, I have this gut feeling that something is not right. I mean, is he curious? or does he want to try it...I am afraid to walk down the isle with someone who is going to turn around and tell me in a few years...that he rather go the other way. Not that there is anything wrong with it...but I love him and I don't think I could handle another heartbreak... I am confused...what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): He is bi.
Sounds like he wants to meet with a shemale.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): I think you have to look for a pattern in his behavior. My ex cheated on me a couple times with other women. I blamed alcohol and myself. I had no problem with other men when we were apart so it was hard for me to understand. I forgave him thinking we are human, we make mistakes - "I am not perfect, neither is he". Now, the bomb dropped again! He anounced his newest affair. One that I suspected but he called me paranoid...it is with a transgender...A woman with male parts....I am not judging this person other then how can one do this to another person??? Have an affair with another woman's hubby? I can't do it! I could not believe it! In this situation, my ex I don't think loved himself and tired to find others to love him. He does what he wants and then asks for forgiveness after. He finally admitted that if "sex with a woman with a penis is bisexual, than I am bisexual.." I don't care if he had sex with a tree! He lied and lied to my face. No more...No trust. I think that the signs have been there that is is not happy in his own skin and perhaps is gay and this is a slower way to come out. I have no clue!!! I don't think he knows what makes him happy. YES - IT IS HELL TO GO THRU!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): Hi, my heart goes out to you. My husband is a sexy talk muscular black male. A manly man that is wonderfully sensitive and caring but not in a feminine way, more so in a comforting loving way. He is a great provider, communicator and fabulous lover. He loves romantic sensual sex. He loves to please, and doesn't care about being pleased that way in return. So, I am sad to say, I am facing the same reality. Before we were married (17 years ago) my husband had shared stories of his past curiosities with me. He said he had been curious in the 90's and decided to try sex with a shemale. He claimed he was grossed out by the penis and left. He assured me it only happened once and that there wasn't ANY penetration. Years later, I found out it was a lie. He had been keeping in contact with his cousin Jessica, whom he was very close to and they spoke frequently. I found out that Jessica is a she-male relationship he had had previously. No way of knowing the real truth because there has been so many lies. His laptop is riddled with shemale porn and shemale escort services in our zipcode. I am sick and ashamed. I have no one to talk to and no one to confide in. I'm hurt and scared. Who knows what disease he brought home? Our family doctor is our neighbor; I have to go to a clinic tomorrow to get tested anonymously. This is such a heavy burden. We have a 16 year old son and my husband wanted a large family and I was content with one. To make him happy we tried for years to have another child unsuccessfully so we have gone in debt paying a fertility doctor over 50,000 for fertility drugs and I recently gave birth to a baby girl in Jan of 09. I am so overwhelmed. I don't wish this on anyone. I hope that you have the courage to confront him before your husband's sick fetish and desire potentially puts you and your family at risk.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): hi there.. i came across this msg of yours and i will like to tell u what i i think about it. maybe my advice will help.. cuz i feel u were kind of discribing myself when u were talking about your husband. me too i watch shemale porn and im not sure how many man do.. i mean how many mans man do cuz me like ur husband im really not gay and no one could ever think that im gay. i look like a guy and i have always like girls. but im not sure how and when i started looking at shemale porn and found it very exating i also started having more anal sex with my wife and also like dogy style mostly and i most confese some times i wasnt in the mood for sex because it seems to normal and maybe thats way we try having sex doggy style so we can imagine we are having sex with a shemale.. in my case i did try and im sure that if ur husband havent try he is looking for it, just to know what is like. but maybe like me onece he does it, he will realise that it is not as exated and that the penes is actually not something he likes. like me i though i wasnt gonna have a problem with it. but when i was having sex with this shemale i realise i was only interested in wantching is not the same to acctually experiace it.. it took me more than onece to trully accept that i didnt like sex with shemales. but now i know that it is a fetish only and i love my wife. sex is getting better againe with her i just needed to try that i guess. maybe it will pas onece he has done it with a shemale im not sure how open are u to forgive that but if u see after he did it sex get better between you too chances are he didnt like shemale sex too much.. keep monitoring the porn he watches he u see he watchs one girls site from time to time maybe he coming back to the right path.. good look to you my friend.
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reader, previasc96 +, writes (26 April 2009):
He probably got into shemales though porn first. Too much porn turns a man into a sexual freak! You don't have to be gay to like shemales. He is just obssessed with anal. I shemale is like a hot woman who has no choice but to take it in the ass! And since shemales can love getting it up the butt, that make the man giving it to em think: "hummm... i wonder how that she-cock would feel in MY ass?" a man who would pleasure a shemales ass will eventually end up pleasuring her cock too... weather he's stroking her cock as he humps her ass or he goes down on her. Shemale porn is very addictive! You should be worried!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): I consider myself straight but paid for Raquel Reyes in Charlotte NC and Myrtle Beach "She"'s foxy but only gives head. I'd like to shave down and put on makeup and bottom for a few nights. only safe of course.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): its fine its just kinky hes not gay just let him explore his sexuality and if your willing the safest bet would be to bring a like more kink in the bedroom go find a willing young shemale to a threesome.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): I just find out my boyfriend likes shemale and I'm kinda worried because he doesn't have a strong sex appetite. I think the worst of it it's the fact that once I looked at his web history it looks like he has been having sex with me on the same days he actually watched that shitty kind of porn so I'm really pissed off, confused and for the moment I've lost all sexual desire for him...sadly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): I am a husband that does the same thing. i like shemale porn because it is new and exciting. i am defiantly not gay. i am in no way attracted to men. i would also not cheat on my wife. i do however day dream of a 3some with my wife and a sexy transsexual. i would love it if i came home to find her having a drink with a new friend and we all got busy together. I don't intend on ever leaving her but lets face it. the same old sex gets boring. my advise, get in a freaky frame of mind and talk dirty to him. tell him (while you are having sex)you would like to watch a shemale fuck him while he eats your pussy or you want to help him suck her cock. Sorry to be so blunt but that's my perspective.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): The attraction of men to shemales comes from being exposed to hardcore pornography in general.Viewing hardcore pornography regularly conditions the mind into getting sexual stimulation from seeing penis -vagina penetration as well as penis- mouth penetration.
Soon the person starts to slowly develop a type of attraction to the erect penis because it's always part of the visual in the hardcore movie.
Needless to say this sets up the situation for men to become later attracted to shemales through shemale porn.The feminine body of the shemale then attracts the man and this sets him up to be more attracted to the penis.
Sadly at this point, he is already slowly warming up to homosexuality. Soon he will be mostly aroused by shemale porn and not straight porn and will be even seeking shemales with bigger penises.This can lead to wanting to have sex with shemales and can lead to straight up homosexual activity with gay or bisexual men.
Hardcore pornography is dangerous as repetitive viewing of it conditions the mind.
Shemales are not created by the porno industry. There have always been men who feel they were born in the wrong body and thus seek to change their bodies.In Asia (Thailand)shemales are accepted as a third sex and plastic surgeons there have the most experience and skill at transforming them into being very feminine. The porn industry merely exploited the shemale scene and developed a very lucrative niche market online.
Bottom line, you need to be alarmed by this behaviour. its not healthy at all and is very addictive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): hi
i am a straight man who has the same fetish i cant describe why i like transexuals but they have to be feminine.He likes anal sex but is probably not gay
try to play a more domanant role and try a strapon
hope this helps
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male
reader, seaturtle +, writes (24 March 2009):
Again, this is a very prevelant phenomenon. Most people have some kind of kink. Some people have a lot of different ones. As far as this kink goes, a number of us have already speculated on why this is a turn on for many otherwise 'straight' guys. Now, when two people are in a relationship, sooner or later they will fantasize about different people or diferent situations -whether they admit it to one another or not.I think this is OK. It can even be a lot of fun if both people are into acting out some knid od sexual psycho-drama.
here is what's not fun and not cool at all - when one goes behind the other's back and gets involved with another person. Cheating is cheating. And that sucks. And that is what you have to find out. But if it's just fantasy, even if it seems really weird I don't think it's something to freak out about. Whatever the kink, it doesn't necessarily lead to cheating. Sometimes what is exciting on a fantasy level is very differnt and not a turn on at all on a physical level. Hope this mkes sense. It's not so much the type of fantasy. It's what it leads or doesn't lead to. Each case is different and I truly wish these ladies all the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Wow.. Today is that horror day for me .... I am 28 in NYC married and think My very Italian manly man husband is into Shemales as well ... I have no advise just your not alone and goodluck ... youare more than welcome to email me.. It seems as i go deeper into this crazy world i use my email .. what a scary place again sorry if ou are feeling like I am.. Just DEVASTATED.....
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reader, seaturtle +, writes (15 March 2009):
Suzysue - I've been a little light-hearted about this issue in my last couple of posts. That's why I feel some responsibility to respond to you in a serious way.
Istill believe that with this or any other kink or fetish some people can - and only want to - keep it on a fantsy level for some extra spice sometimes. This is a whole other thing . Whether it's another woman, a tg, whatever, going outside the marriage is going outside thew marriage. You're not crazy. Your guy has acted very badly and he sounds like a loser to boot. I say leave him. I really feel badly for you. See? Many knky people can also be resposible, feeling adults too.
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reader, suzysue +, writes (14 March 2009):
I've been married 4 years & have been dealing with this problem for almost that long. My husband emails She-Males back & fourth, actual conversations. One email I seen he sent out his cell phone number. I can't believe he does not confer with this people. I have left him numerous times to only have him ask me back and swear it won't happen again, and it always does. The computer broke, he begged me to fix it & swore he wouldn't look at she-male sights again. And like a fool it just slapped me back in my face. His relationship with the computer, she-males & whatever else have you, has been literally destroying me. Our sex life is down to nothing, he's unemployed a lot of the time. While I'm at work making money for us to survive & he's "playing games" and going outside of our marriage for whatever needs he find in this. They must be masturbating while sending pictures of themselves. Sexy pictures of him from our Honeymoon. It is unfair to me & another women going through this. You are being cheated out of a major part of your marriage and intimacy with your partner. He is lying to you and you cannot have a working marriage built on lies & deceit. It is a very embracing situation. He joins this web-site & adds his profile, I believe he conacts these people, even ones on Craigslist. In an emailhe even made plans to met one. He swears he didn’t and I somehow believe it hasn’t but I know he does talk with them and it can only be a matter of time for the next step. He says he loves me and want a life together but this life he is offering me is tearing me apart because he is offering a private part of himself to someone else and not me. I feel neglected, undesirable and I’m turning into a hag from crying all the time. I literal shake when I see these things so now my doctor prescribes anti anxiety meds for me. But I no matter how many pills I take this won’t stop. We’ve been through break-up, therapy. I’ve been hit by him several times while confronting him about these she-male. Sometime he denies it & says I make this thing up because I’m looking for a reason to leave. I’m usually looking for a reason to stay. Believe me at one point I thought I just might be crazy. But that’s what men do when they know they did something wrong. They turn the table around. This whole situation had almost put me in a nut house. He knows how I feel about this and continues with no regard for my feeling or our marriage. He put me in a spot where I have no chose but to leave him. I can’t go on like this anymore. I can’t sleep, no appetite, I ’m a fucking wreck and having a very difficult time just functioning. It’s killing me to stay and it’s killing me to go. But that old saying keeps going around in my head “To Thine Ownself Be True”
Good-luck to all
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reader, seaturtle +, writes (12 March 2009):
hey guys! I just did an experiment. I googled "my-husband likes-trannies" I coulda tried so many different combinations of different words with the same idea, but I started with those. Well i got flooded with 11 pages of results just for starters! I didn't look to see how many more there would be, and I only looked into some sites on page1. But I think this shows one thing. We may like it or not, we may explain it differently. But it really looks like this phenomenon is very widespread!
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reader, seaturtle +, writes (4 March 2009):
That's cool! Do you know if these highly desireable guys knew from the start that your friend was a tv and not a gg? Were they otherwise 'straight'? Did they like both tv's and gg's? or did they prefer tv's? I think it's all good - just curious.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): Obviously that's why they are trannies, because they are in the middle and phychologically female. A man is more than just a penis, or at least I would hope so.
I know a tranny, and she looks better than most genetic girls. Not only that, she gets hit on by men all the time. Men a lot of women can only dream of. I say this people deserve very good things, because they suffer a lot in this cruel and hypocritical world.
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reader, altocalcophilia +, writes (21 February 2009):
Hi. I'm straight guy and would like to try to answer your question. I have some personal experience because I had a problem with fetishism and masturbation in the past, so I think I can relate a little to the matter.There are several possibilities here the way that I see it.There is of course the possibility that your husband could be bisexual or at least remotely homosexual in fantasy and/or behavior, for whatever reason. Perhaps he only likes to fantasize to it or perhaps he would act it out. In either case, he could be least partially homosexual, though this does not necessarily mean that he doesn't like you.I know from my own personal experience that I am a little OCD and am a fetishist. This has resulted in one some people would consider to be bizarre or at least in some ways intense fascinations with female domination and high heels (I don't like to wear them but I like to watch women in certain types of them, even in candid situations.) Now, a potential girlfriend or wife might think that I am perverted for this; I would hope not but I notice that women's comments on this board are less sympathetic than men's..... that's because women don't understand the common male problem of fetishism.....yes, the other possibility is that your husband may be a fetishist.Shemales are a type of porn industry propaganda to make money. I wouldnt even know what a shemlae is if it weren't for the Internet. She males are sort of built up by themselves and by the porn industry to be prostitutes and pornographers (sex objects) from what I gather (and I don't want to be offensive to anyone here.) The porn industry and shemales themselves develop it in order to try to capitalize upon fetishism and pornography. It's kind of like media or sex industry hype I think. Shemales might exhibit very hyper-feminine qualities which subconsciously remind a man of a woman because that's what they try to do through implants and hormones. So you might want to know what is it about shemales that your husband likes and would he act it out, is he just fantasizing, or is he only just looking. If he likes a penis, than he has to be considered somehat homosexual. Otherwise, he may have been taken in by porn industry propaganda; on a personal note....I believe this happened to my brother-in-law. He's a straight guy but according to a conversation I heard between my sister and my mother he may have gotte sucked into shemale porn. I agree with the people who say it's like drugs. He probably started out in regular porn (hot blondes and stuff) then moved on to things like lesbian porn. Eventually, he must have come across shemale porn; maybe he's addicted I'm not sure. He might be jsut a little bit homosexual but perhaps he wouldn't act it out. Or maybe he was just looking?? I don't think she really confronted him on this.Though I enjoy certain froms of light fetishism myself. I have not fallen into the trap of shemale porn myself, because I am antisocial and straight and don't really like all that nudity and hardcore stuff, whci appears to be the domain of shemales. If you get into the hardcore porn stuff, you might run into this stuff. In my case, I watch only videos, mostly on youtube, which sort of hint at sex (at least in my own mind) but don't actually hAVE IT actING it out. I think I saw some shemales on mtv tv shows somewhere but they exhibited manly voices and characteristics (like Rupaul) and it's kind of hard to understand how a straight guy could like that. Certainly, he could at leaast know whether the person is really a man or a woman, because it's not that hard.In the end, I can't say forsure how common this fetish is. But with the prevalance of the Internet; it cold be 1-5% of guys. They might even consider themselves straight; though in my opinion they should not be considered 100% straight, if they like it or are addicted to it. They may have been subconsciosly fooled by the hyperfeminine qualties that a few shemales try to exhibit, but they should try not to act it out.Masturbation addiction can lead to internet addiction and then porn addiction. You miight try to wean him off the Internet for a while. (Thats what my family did about 10 years ago when they found out about my problem with high heels)That could result in the cure (though it didnt for me I'm back on the net for good)Hope this helps. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): He doesn't have to be gay at all. I watch shemale porn too and am not the least bit attracted to men. I'd love to have a hot 3some with my wife and a hot shemale.
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reader, blklove +, writes (5 January 2009):
Hell no he is not gay and I do not care what anyone says! I will tell you why. I am a very straight man. I get disgusted when I see two men kissing or holding hands. (sorry to all gay men I have nothing against you just not for me)
However I have started viewing tranny porn, but not any tranny porn. Let me explain.
I have gay friends and I watched a special on playboy they had on sexcetera. On this special they talked to Buck who is a woman tranny who lives as a man. He has taken hormones to deepen the voice and has had surgery on his chest to look like a man. Also the hormones helped grow hair so now he or she however you look at it has chest hair. Also sporting a shaved head. When you take a look you would think you are looking at a man as he or she looks like a biker dude. However he still has a vagina. He has billed himself as the man with a pussy and is not going to change it.
On this special they were talking about him making a video with tranny's they started talking to these two GORGEOUS women. Any man would die to be with and I was like DAMN and I go hard. Then all of a sudden they dropped their pants and had dicks!
I tell you that story to only say this. As straight as I am I view this stuff, but only if it is a tranny doing a female. In this special both tranny's who are into porn, admitted that their biggest audience is straight men. That a gay man does not want to be with them because they look too much like a woman. Also Buck says that a large part of his audience is also straight men.
I do not look at it because they have dicks. As a matter of fact I do not look at that part. But they are doing women. To me it is no different than watching two women go at it with a strap on. I started watching tranny with women because at least they knew how to screw the girl!
People need to get over themselves, because even in straight porn you see a whole ton of dick, and if you are masturbating on a scene where there is a man and a woman, you are turned on by the woman and turned on by the woman having sex. Well she is having sex with a man who has a dick.
So is every man in porn gay too? Because there are double penetration videos where there is a man in each hole, and in some cases the men bump balls and everything else.
So before someone comes and say admit it dude you are gay, let me say this.
I go out of my way to get porn with women only. If I get a porno with men in it I am looking for the women only scene or the women solo. If you saw my porn collection you would see this.
If I were gay then I would be turned on by Tranny with men. I am not. But with a woman it looks like it is two women and it is still straight sex as the tranny is a man.
Now if he is into getting off on the tranny with another man or watching the tranny play with his dick, then you may have an issue.
However like I said before, gay men do not want a tranny because they resemble women. They want a man who looks and smells and breaths like a man. I also have not now nor will I ever desire to sleep with a man or a tranny. I would flip out if I were with someone and she got naked and had a dick. I would run.
However if it is a tranny doing a female it is still very straight and you should have nothing to worry about.
Someone else touched on this earlier, but if he watches a lot of porn he could be getting bored with what he has. Since this is something new and is directed towards straight men, this could be the new venture. like everything else he will tire of it and move on to something else.
So that is what I think and it is coming from a straight man who is comfortable with his sexuality. I am happily married and my wife checks this stuff out with me and we say no this is not good or agree to it. She looks at tranny with women only the same as I do. But we both agree, if it is a tranny with a man and you like that and get off on it, it is two men and you may need to think about if you are gay or bi.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): i'm not sure. i am a male and i like shemale porn. i am attracted to their female features and i am really intrigued by them. they can be painfully beatiful, and if you look at some photos of them you'll quickly see that they give genetic girls a run for their money. most men who like shemales are only attracted to shemales who are very attractive and are "passable". which means they look like a woman. shemales are perfectionists about their looks and can have outstanding legs and bodies. they have thousands of dollars in plastic surgery and take hormones to make them "womanly". a lot of the most beautiful ones are from brazil and south america, where many agree some of the most beautiful people in the world come from. i think a lot of the men attracted to shemales are not attracted to males but their female features, they also have developed a fetish. i have never been attracted to or aroused by a regular male in any way. we are often quick to try to fit people into divisions in society (homosexual, bisexual, lesbian)for peoples' behavior... but i don't think it is fair. people should allowed to have a brief fetish, to be on the fence, and to experiment without being categorized into a group with strict boundaries. i agree, seeing shemale on a spouse's internet history could be shocking if you weren't ready. but perhaps you should consider that it was was simply chance. like many males, he came across a photo of one on a genetic girl porn site, and said, "wtf!!! is that a tranny?!!!! she's gorgeous". he probably felt a little guilty for being turned on, maybe he masturbated, and then he probably started looking at photos of them more and more. unless you think its causing problems with your sex life, i wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, recommend scaring him about it. it would probably scare the shit out of him.
coming from someone who used to feel very strange about looking at shemale porn
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008): how can you monitor on a laptop? how can you handle your man liking a shemale?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): I think everyone is a bit BI, we are all human and act one way only like a machine. it actually very heathly.
I have Gay boy freinds and they of course dont get turn on by trannies or butch women, they are men who like real men. Over time men have been become more comfortable with their sexual life and been more acceptant. I will say that trannies or shemales only cater to 100% str8 men only of course it all on the DL and not dicussed among their buddies. Reason being is that many Trannies are more sexier than genetic girls! By the way am a BI female
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): If you dress a pig in a dress, its still a pig, no matter what its just hiding the fact that you're homosexual
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): I'm a man and i think it is alright to look at other men my wife looks at other females online so i don't see what the big hype is all about
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reader, jonjon68 +, writes (5 December 2008):
actually you may be wrong about your (Gay/Bisexual) diagnosis of your husbands. actually they may just have a masturbation addiction. (it is not a fake addiction). do some research on it. when men masturbate a lot they need more and more graphic to get them off. it is a well known fact. beautiful buxom blondes going down on guys just don't do it anymore. the internet has become very conducive to to pornography and masturbation because they have access to a large amount of porn very easily. they will start to masturbate to what may seem very strange material. they will move to amateur porn, overweight women, old women, gangbangs, interracial porns, and yes even shemales to get them off. it is VERY addictive, and they may need help. some famous people have known masturbation addictions. David Duchovney recently admitted to having a masturbation addiction and seeked help from his wife Tea Leoni. There was even an episode of South Park with Stan's father with an internet masturbation addiction masturbating to very strange content (including shemale porn).
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reader, previasc96 +, writes (30 November 2008):
You need to confront your husband. Addiction to porn is one thing... but addiction to tranny porn... is a friggin desaster! I have been trying for years to get off tranny porn! It's even worse when you actually live out your fantacies and sleep with a shemale! Don't let him get to that point! This issue will screw up his mind in a big way. he needs to stop now! Shemales are like demons from the pit of hell that lure men with their female looks. Next thing ya know, i man who considers himself "straight" is sucking she-cock and taking it up the ass( and loving every minute of it)!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): It sounds like your husband is a closeted bisexual. I'm a straight guy myself & I can tell you that I have never fantasized about anyone with a penis. That is not a normal fantasy for a straight guy.
It doesn't seem like he is actually gay, since it sounds like you've had a healthy sex life with him for years. However, he is probably bisexual. He probably suppressed any homosexual feelings he had when he married you, but after years of repression they are starting to emerge again. He is probably attracted to she-males instead of men, because, as you said, its less of a jump from women.
It sounds like you should have a talk with him immediately. This issue is obviously making both you & him unhappy, so you should deal with it ASAP.
At the same time, you should understand that he's attracted to she-males because of his sexual orientation, not because he doesn't find you attractive. This is not a negative reflection on you. My ex-girlfriend dated a woman after she dated me, and I've come to understand that its simply who she is, versus a negative reaction to me.
Hope this helps. Good luck to you!
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reader, seaturtle +, writes (19 November 2008):
Glad the discussion is continuing. it shows interesting similarities and diferences with different people's expreiences with this issue. my genuine sympathies are with francoi. I think someone else had mentioned that there is a progression with porn - ever stronger, ever kinkier to produce kicks. Kinda like drugs i guess. I guess i'm lucky in that I have a number of different kinks besides this one, and i go in cycles. For me it's kinda like getting into different kinds of music or food. But for me it never makes me lose my love for my basic favorite music or food. Even usually in my fantasies, and so far always in reality, I want to end up with and (dare i say) in a woman. To stay with the food idea, I'm thinking of a barbeque. The delicious food is like a woman. I'm like the charcol brickets. Sometimes I need some extra lighter fluid to start me off. That's where the knky stuff comes in. But for me, starter fluid is just that - well, starter fluid, usually.francoi - don't lose heart. maybe after a while you'll grow tired of the shemale porn and also come around in a cycle. You're still young. meanwhile i'm wondering if you've discussed this with your gf. Hopefully she's pretty open-minded and maybe you could get into some role play whch may rekindle your sexual feelings for her. Good luck to you and to everyone!
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reader, Francoi  +, writes (18 November 2008):
Im a 22 years old male from Canada.And Im french so you may excuse my English.
I "consider" myself a "straight" guy.I had a girlfriend who i realy loved so much and cared about and still do.Two years ago, i got addicted to shemale porn.And i gotta tell you it's the worst thing ever happened to me.I only wish if i had never found that porn.. ever.It turned my stable life upside down.Now i get turned on only by shemales.And lately by ....males.Well, not all males just the very feminin and super hot ones.
Sex for men is all about fantasy and imagination.Wherever we find the banned..... red place, we go there.I still love my girlfriend But i don't get tunred on by her anymore.Our relation ship is in trouble.And it's my fault.
It's not only your husband problem,All my friends "over 10" who consider themselves "straight" watch shemale porn as well.
I don't know what to tell you but.Beleive me if a man marries a woman then he definitely loves her.don't break up with him.Try to get him away of porn.Make him relax in bed and tell him that women love and appreciate sex as well.Convince him that.Make him understand that you can provide pleasure for him.
And try to ban porn from your internet service.
Good luck.
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reader, jonjon68 +, writes (1 November 2008):
umm... your bf may not be gay. he may just have a shemale fetish. shemales can be hot hot hot! haven't u seen? two of them have been on America's top model recently. one of them is almost winning! she is a badddd girl. look at some shemale porn and tell me you wouldnt jerk off to it. let me explain. they have narrower hips than women, perfect legs(because they don't put fat or cellulite in those areas), great FAKE TITS, and tight asses. in europe and south america it is all the rage. if you were to post this on a board in brazil people would be confused. f*king shemales doesnt = gay. don't worry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): I too have a husband that seems to like to look at the "shemale" porn sites. I have actually brought this subject up...because it worried me ALOT.... We have only been married a little over a year. I have found these sites on his phone internet, and computer history. Now he deletes his history. He tells me he loves me and would never act on this fantasy. Why is it so hard for me to believe?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): I'm impressed by the seriousness of this discussion. Everybody's different. I think that the likelihood of your husband stepping out on you for a tg is probably no more or less likely than with a gg. In fact, probably less. Some fanatasies are fulfilled by the eventual reality. In other cases if you try to act on the fantasies it turns out to be very different - not enjoyable, and not a turn on. I've experienced this both ways with certain kinks and fetishes.
So what is straight, gay, and bi? I've seen the definitions shift. I agree with the idea that sexuality is on a continuum. Some are entirely on the gay end, many are entirely straight, and many are bi to different degrees. Also many people move along the continuum at different times of their lives - maybe even at different times of the day! I think that Kinsey and others have said that many who identify themselves as entirtely heterosexual have had one to 3 gay experiences in their lives. Then there's the fantasy continuum, which is probaly much more wide open. On the physical experience level I happen to be completely straight. On the fantasy level I'm bi. So overall I'd call myself bi-curious. But even in fantasy I'm usually only drawn to tg's or naturally feminine or andogynous males. I've heard a male attraction for only tg's described as "selectively bisexual". No one knows what to call it, and we probably get too hung up on classifying fluid human nature. Also, tg's have been called a third sex or gender.
I have many kinks and fetishes. For example, I have fetishes for makeup, nail polish, long nails and high heels - on a woman. These are pretty fashionable fetishes, but I'm sometimes more turned on when they are exggerated past mainstream fashion. When these are on a man they acqire even more power, and more turn-on for me - sometimes. It depends on my mood. I also agree with whoever mentioned the taboo and transgressive aspect. Also just added kicks and spice - embracing a very different role. That last aspect is what probably most of my kinks have in common, in different ways. I used to crossdress myself, once in a while, as a young man. Usually it was a lot of fun and a turn on. Once whith an old girlfriend, we completely exchanged roles, and both crossdressed to the opposite gender. That was a peak experience for me! As I got older I lost interest for myself, and began to appreciate it in others. The last time I completely crossdressed, I took pics of myself. Looking at them at later times It turned me on to see myself like that. Since it was myself, what would we call it - not homoerotic, not heterosexual. Maybe omni- sexual??
In the end, try not to worry too much. It's probably just a kinky relaese. If you talk to him let us know!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): Ignore anyone here that tells you he is either gay or bisexual. It it not up to anyone else to decide what another person is when it comes to their sexuality. Regardless of their own experiences. Not everyone is the same. Sexual orientation is defined by more than sexual behavior and what kind of porn arouses somebody. It's moronic and unintelligent to not consider factors such as attraction, love and romance.
Gay men are men who desire other men. Not only physically but romantically and emotionally as well. They are drawn to masculinity, not femininity. A man performing oral sex on a "shemale" might be a homosexual act, but it doesn't men the man is doing it is.
I believe some men are innately gay, while others develop homoerotic interests due to other, not so healthy experiences and/or feelings.
I believe for a large majority of men, they desire women but have deep rooted fear and anxiety when it comes to pleasuring a woman sexuality. The image of a woman with a penis injects an element of equality and replaces something he is fearful and uncertain of, with something he is very familiar with.
There is also the element of engaging in sexual activity that is shocking, taboo, dirty, secretive or bizarre. Doing something that is transgressive and out of the ordinary. This could be a major factor as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): I am female and have a loving straight boyfriend.
We are very open about our fantasies, and non judgemental.
we have recently admitted secrets no one ever knew.
He had shown me a pic of a shemale saying that he was turned on by her.
She was very attractive.
he like to be penetrated and we will take his fantasy to another level, but not with an actual shemale. he wishes that the penis were mine.
I had never before had such an honest and open bond with anyone Ever before him.
I had problems with porn when the porn or acts were secret.
Include yourself, he's afraid you'll judge him, that's why he hid it and lied. let him trust you, in every way. I had found the best sexual joy after opening up.
Your husband is not gay, he appreciates the penis cause he has one and knows how good it feels. You'll only drive him do do it more and take his fantasy further if you try to stiffle his fantasy.
I know in our case, my boyfriend is very masculine, and very straight. So he trusts me to share, that's what men love. You can strengthen your bond in so many ways by nurturing his fantasy.
All the men will agree if they have a woman who truly loves them and will never judge...the sex life and relationship is the hottest most loving one you can get.
I don't like women in a lesbian or bisexual way, but some of the shemales look really hot...especially since they don't have a vagina, I wouldn't get within 10 ft. of a vagina but i guess even for women they look hot.
accept him and build him up..in all aSPECTS IT CAN BE SUCESS THAT WAY
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): Interesting fact,There is a porn site out there,im not gonna tell what site it is but it is a free site and has all the free tranny shemale porn on it you can get.There are different categories of porn and one of them is special in that you go to it and there is a chat area,its like a porn chat,well there are about 10 categories of different types of porn,lezbian,gay,anal,shemale,interacial and a few more.Just like any chat room,you can look how man people are in these rooms,surprisingly the shemale room almost always has the most people in it.I started looking at shemale porn when i was around 20 yrs old,i love women and want to marry a woman oneday.I still like looking at shemale porn although i want to be with a woman.One of the post i read said something about internet porn being a gateway to the real thing,this is true bc i actually tried being with a shemale and i didnt like it,but then again i still watch shemale porn 6 years later.I was in a serious relationship with a girl and i didnt look at shemale porn while we were together,i never wanted to or anything,and we had a good sex life also,we tried lots of different things in bed .I guess some of these guys in relaionships are turning to porn bc they are not getting satisfied in bed or they are bored and want to venture out.To all the women that are catching their bfs looking to actually meet them,i would probably say leave them bc they are gonna have this urge untill they actually go through with it and see if they like it.If i didnt try it yet,i would probably look untill i did but since i did try it and didnt like it,i wont do it anymore.Its really weird that i still watch shemale porn considering i tried the real thing and didnt like it
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): Here it is ladies, I watch a lot of shemale porn and I most definitely am not gay. Some people can have a healthy relationship with porn, some can't.Talk to your husband/boyfriend, explain to him that you understand it's addictive nature and you just want to talk about it. Don't be accusatory, don't ask to see it.Now, if the man is just watching a little porn, that's pretty typical. My belief is that shemale porn is just a progression from straight porn that occurs when you cross a line into addiction at some point in your past. Meaning, at some point your husband/boyfriend was watching A LOT of porn, too much to be healthy. As that happened he started finding different things, and eventually stumbled upon shemales. It's just a progression that happens to many people. Just be supportive, and try to see if he can break the habit, if he can't, and you can't deal, then dump him. Life is too short to get hung up on shit like this, and if he won't stop, well, who knows where it can lead.Now, I suppose there may also be guys that just like shemale porn, without any weird addiction to straight porn. I doubt it though, and if they do, they're probably screwed up from some childhood thing or something. I don't know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): I consider myself to be straight. Have always dated women. Currently have a girlfriend that I've been with for 8 months now, but I do enjoy shemale porn and watch/look at it all the time.
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reader, jessicasanfrancisco +, writes (3 September 2008):
Hi,As someone often referred to as a "shemale" I can probably answer that question for you from "our" side. As quickly as I can Is it a fairly common fetish? - Yes.Is he gay? - Probably, at the very least he's bisexual.I am quite a popular escort (read Prostitute) here in San Francisco and still have my male genitalia. A lot of "girls" live and work as women 24/7 and some of us pay our bills working in the adult industry. A lot of us work to get a large amount of money to be able to pay for surgery to remove this male genitalia. Once this genitalia is removed the "clients" and adult work vanishes overnight...coincidence? A lot of us notice that when guys arrive to meet us they are all about what is in our panties because lets face it they would be with females if they weren't interested in the extra something we have. The vast majority however are bisexual and love straight girls too so if you're not all freaked out by his wanting to be penetrated or perform oral sex on male genitalia then let your life be a happy one.Jess
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reader, zorro111 +, writes (14 August 2008):
the reasons i got into shemales. i like anal sex. i feel they are misunderstood, and can identify with that. i didnt initally like the idea of ladyboys or crying game. but ive always carried an inkling on crossing the line when it comes to attraction - our private parts speaks. and at heart we are all human. the majority of the reasons we are attracted to someone in the first place is because of how they look - the look is the first or most vivid draw for attraction. so if i saw a very very good looking woman and i find here attractive, then find out she is or was a man or has a penis then i turn that around then i am a liar. so attractive in visual pleasing but wanting to sleep with them after the knowledge of penis is another story. it comes down to fascination. they have a dick but they dont consdier themeselves men. its strange but
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): im a straight male, and i am attracted to shemale porn. b4 you say anything hear me out first.
I started out normal, as a teen you get exposed to porn, thats what happened. i was enjoying regular porn... until i got to know about lesbian porn.!!! "WOW" I thought thats it, i found my gig "lesbian porn", cuz i didn't much care for regular porn cuz i didn't enjoy watching male performers.
Then i got exposed to lesbian porn with strapon dildos. i was like this is just ice-ing on the cake, now i can enjoy full male type penetration without staring at a man shoving his penis. and thats where the shemales come in. I eventually was exposed to shemale porn, and i ditched lesbian porn because now instead of plastic penis there is real penis that doesn't belong to a guy(atleast this person is much much more like a woman with breast). So thats what i enjoy, i like shemales with real females porn. but i have never done it with a shemale, nor i would go to that step, plus i don't even like anal sex, giving or receiving.
so what would you call that now? GAY!!! I don't think so...and yes i was sexually molested when i was like 11 yrs old at an arcade place by a some man. It doesn't have to do anything with this... cuz i can't find a connection.
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reader, evas +, writes (21 June 2008):
OK, here's the truth from a guy who has struggled with this crap for a bit. 1. Shemale porn is a deception for men who have looked at it are just ridding the fence ; no they're not gay but yet the true love they should have for a woman has been twisted. 2. It can also be the picture of self-centered sexual desires. Let's face it, we men respond to visuals and porn on the Net is way to easy. 3.Ask your man this, has he ever been molested or had an encounter with another male when they were young. This question may tick a lot of people off but this is the truth. You might find out that he's dealling with something deeper that he needs to get out in the open and say yes or no to. Porn's a marriage killer,I know this. It can lead to an unhealthy appetite for sex as well. Time's too short and we men can't play with this stuff and expect to have good healthy marriages.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): I ask my boyfriend if I could use his computer to ck my email then this site pop-up i did not know what to say. So I did not say anything but looked at the history and everything was shemale on it I did not even know what a shemale was. Then I look at his favorite and it was save all over.
Am not sure what to do? The problem is that he is very good to me, but when it comes to sex he does not really care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): keylogger because he deletes his entire history every time he's on the computer..Just want to tell you that he is most likely a ashamed, or abused as a child type person and needs , help to find out and identify his experiences when he was a young boy. This might not be relavent but , I have the same thing going on except its , shemales with long penis' that intrigue me . I had dreams thirty years ago when I was just a littel boy of women like that looked like my mother with a horse size penis in the dream.... maybe he never got a lot of attention when he was little ...like me ...but I am focusing on volenteering at my church and seeking a deeper meaning through a day by day relationship with Jesus, the one in the Bible ...I know it sounds wierd , why would God even waste his time with someone so messed up like me but I think God does understand what sexual abuse I experienced when I was 11 and how its taken me a long time to identify and file these correctly in my mind and heart to be able to go on , without having to fufill all of the dreams I dreamnt...dan, californiahence 1 suspicious action). I really don't want to cause a problem in our relationship with this fact if this is just some common fetish that most people would never persue physically.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): There is no need to argue,
its a taboo
its not gay
its not sick
its been going on for along time
i think alot of you are taking this way out of proportion...
also ladies, it sounds like most of you are just looking for a reason to have a problem and sadly your own insecurities are to blame here along with your guys curiousity... Its called the human condition now get on with your lives and stop this blatent over the top stupidity...
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reader, milliemoo +, writes (30 April 2008):
I too have had the same thing happen to me. I found that the internet history was being deleted on the P
C many times. It wasnt until a search 'shemale cry' was left on the history that the real truth began to unravel. What I find most frustrating is that my husband (of just over a year) will not tell me what he has been using the sites for. He said he just likes to look at them because of something that happened in his youtha sexual experience . He COMPLETELY denied using downloaded videos for, shall we say ' sexual release'. My husband and i have been married for just over a year and in the last 6 months since we have been married our sex life was very hit and miss. Sometimes making love only once a month. My husband has always insisted that he loves and adores me in every way, yet I have found this revelation has destroyed my sexual confidence and left me so perplexed. What I need to understand is if my husband has visited these sites just because of what he described as an 'experience' from his youth or if he yearns some way of finding an acceptable outlet for homosexuality?
I know some of these posts put forward that men are not immediatley classed as 'gay' for looking at these porn sites. But I question, if in a world where a mans man finds the idea of 'homosexuality' as non-conformist in his 'social circles' does this not give him the ideal excuse to rationalise and make it okay as shemales look feminine but have the 'core goods' which offer an acceptable median?
Sorry to waffle on, but im still hurting, my husband will not give me the whole truth around why he used/uses these sites. but when the trust is lost and your confidence has been destroyed you have to ask yourself if it is worth the pain in living with? My husband has promised never to use these sites ever again, and i must admit he seems sincere. But with that knowledge can you honestly say that you will never compare yourself to a 'shemale' when you are in the bedroom together?
I'm in the same boat as you and struggling to know if this is something I can come to terms with. I have repetedly become angry, said some very hurtful and resentful things to my husband.
Let me know how you get on, cause I feel as if my head is gonna explode!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): I too have had the same thing happen to me. I found that the internet history was being deleted on the PC many times. It wasnt until a search 'shemale cry' was left on the history that the real truth began to unravel. What I find most frustrating is that my husband will not tell me what he has been using the sites for. He said he just likes to look at them because of a sexual experience that happened in his youth. He COMPLETELY denied using them for, shall we say 'sexual release'. My husband and i have been married for just over a year and since we were married our sex life became very hit and miss. Sometimes only making love once a month. My husband has always insisted that he loves and adores me in every way, yet I have found this revelation has destroyed my sexual confidence and left me so perplexed. What I need to understand is if my husband has visited these sites just because of an 'experience' from his youth or if he yearns some way of finding an acceptable outlet for homosexuality?
I know some of these posts put forward that men are not immediatley classed as 'gay' for looking at these porn sites. But I question, if in a world where a mans man finds the idea of homosexuality as 'non-conformist' in 'his' particualar social circles does this not give him the ideal excuse to rationalise and make it okay (as shemales look feminine but have the 'core goods' which offer an acceptable median)?
Sorry to waffle on, but im still hurting, my husband will not give me the whole truth around why he used/uses these sites, and I become angry,resentful and say some very hurtful things. He has promised never to use these sites ever again, and i must admit he does seems sincere. But when the trust is lost and self confidence has been destroyed you have to ask yourself if it is worth the pain in living with that knowledge? can you honestly say that you will never compare yourself to a 'shemale' when you are in the bedroom together?
I'm in the same boat as you and struggling to know if this is something I can come to terms with.
Let me know how you get on, cause I feel as if my head is gonna explode!
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reader, Tristan_007 +, writes (4 April 2008):
I am a 23 year old straight male, I have always been attracted to women but I am also attracted to transexuals. I was 17 the first time I saw a shemale it was a drawing of a beautiful women with a penis. Ever since I have fantasised and looked at shemale porn. I have slept with many women and had relationship with two. I have never slept with a transexual although I have thought and fantasised about it. I only find attractive the ones that look exactly like a girl with smooth body with little make up. What I find attractive is the femininety, their perfect body, beautiful face and round ass. They like to be penetrated just like a girl, they like to be dominated. For me its so erotic the fact that you are dominating someone so attractive with a penis, treating her like a girl. My favorite porn star is a lady called Patricia Araujo she is incredibly attractive if you look at her then you know why straight men find them attractive. In my opinion it does not make you gay because I still find women very attractive I want to get married to one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): I am a male attracted to she-males, and the attraction has driven me to depression, but more on that later in this post.
To answer the main question, the answer is YES, it is a common fetish:
I have come across many forums in which men wonder why they are aroused by transsexuals, while they claim they aren't attracted to men. I feel the same way; the thought of TOUCHING another man does not arouse me at all. I have always been attracted to females, physically and psychologically. I have had several girlfriends, with whom I had sex. I love girls.
Going back to my experience with she-male attraction:
... I'm sorry, but I have been awake for over 24 hours and I feel too weak to type the long post I want to. But please come back to check on it, for I WILL tell my story. I have two objectives: HELP others and SEEK help.
I apologize. See you later!
- Richard
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): I'm sorry to hear so many of you ladies are confused and going through rought waters in your relationships I can give you an honest inside into the shemale smoking mirror fetish.I'm a post op female m2f lady meaning I had my srs, I'm a receptionist for a real estate company in new york city. I had to do escort when I wasn't a female when I was a shemale and I never understood why guys where such hyprocrites and I always believe that guys that were into shemales were straight. THAT IS NOT THE CASE.After been a female for 9 years passable to the point where my relationship with men and unaware of my past I can give you a real truthful answer. I do not in any way hide my past from my boyfriends but to some point I can relate to having once found out a guy I dated liked shemales. I was disgusted and angry not becaused I'm closed minded I'm ok to people having their fantasies but to him lying to me when I comfronted himif your husband or bf likes shemales he is attracted to the same sex . A shemale ladyboy has a penis and most guys suck her penis or get penetrated by a penis this is bisexuality or going towards the gay spectrum just because she has breast does not change the fact that he is sucking a penis and is getting penetrated,, When I used to be an escort I saw marry guys swallowing shemale cum and It was so sad that this man where not honest with themselves or their wives. Ladies your health is been put at risk and you are in a relationship that you will never be love becaused he is with you due to societies expectations.The porn industry is about making money and they push delusional fetishes why would shemale porn be considered straight if the definition of straight is opposite sex not same sex doesn't matter where she looks feminine and spends thousands in plastic surgery. Female porn stars are just as beautiful if not more since is nature and they have fake breast and do anal. If a men is into shemale is becaused of the fantasy of a chick with a dick,, If shemale porn is put with the bisexual category men with think and come to conclusion that they are not straight so they would rather cater to men fantasy even if is pushing an ideology that pushes their pornography.A man that is into shemales will never be completely happy with a female because he will always miss that fantasy. If your men is into shemale porn he is living a double life and he is not been honest. Wouldn't you rather be loved for been a female than been with someone that doesn't love you and is with you just for societies standards I know is hard to start over again or get divorce but you got to love yourself People change. It is normal to experiment but experimenting is a one thing deal not a constant sexual appetite.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2008): I have to agree with 'Wierdo' on this question. Im 26 myself, from Ireland & I too have become increasingly attracted to porn & in the last 4 years, shemale porn. From the age of 15 to 23, I thought of nothing but women, girls & my fantasies all revolved around them. Isnt homosexuality something that is supposed to develop during pubertity?! Anyways, I guess as my porn addiction increased, so did it become more hardcore, & anal sex would be one of different things that began to arouse me. I did brush over shemale porn after about a year of looking at porn in general, but I never went to specifically look it up, until my addiction grew stronger. The thing that makes me different from most who suffer from this 'freak' addiction, is that I actually slept with a shemale prostitute in Australia in 2005. I believed this person to be a woman at 1st, but when we got back to her/his place, I was told the truth. I was heavily intoxicated(we wont get into that other problem of mine!), and I agreed to sleep with this person, to my horror & dismay the next day. I guess it was a combination of the porn addiction, anal sex addiction, the alcohol level & the fact that at the time I knew what I was doing was so wrong & that if my friends & girlfriend of the time ever found out they would disown me, but I also knew they would never find out... So I will finish my post by saying that I dont believe looking at ladyboy/shemale porn means one is gay for the most part & the porn industry is creating people like me & others addicts. I am still fighting my addiction, but I do manage to surpress it for weeks or sometimes into the 2nd month. I guess Im lucky that Im not married & single at the moment so that no 1 else can get hurt with this. If any 1 can offer me a bit of advise on quitting for good I would be glad to hear it. Regards, annonomous Rich
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): I recently found out that my husband of 12 yrs was addicted shemale porn. He watched online shemale porn everyday for hours after work. He visited asian shemale sites and even planned to travel to asia, wanted a day alone without me being around. He made a homemade wax dildo to enjoy anal masterbation (he learned how to make one from youtube clip). I confronted him, we had a big fight. He claimed that shemales were men. He denied that he was gay and never had been with another man. He wanted a divorce and told me that I brought nothing but misery to him. He made me promise not to bring this shemale topic again letting me to believe that he was through with it. A couple of weeks later, he went back on these shemale porns and this time he put a password on his computer so that I couldn't find out. He explained the password was his space, something he wanted to have for himself, his own privacy that NO ONE ALLOWS TO ACCESS. I know he was back on his addictions again. He accessed these sites when I was not home. I researched and was able to put the stop his addiction by using our DSL router at home as a porn filter device (as parenting control as you will). It filters anything with SHEMALE, LADYBOY, TRANNY, TRANSEXUAL etc. He got mad for hours but could not confront me because he was the one made the promise not to talk about his ever again. Now all of our computer at the house do not have access to any of these websites.My husband is going through some addiction recovering right now. It has been 3 weeks without any shemale porn. I dont know how long it will take him to overcome his addction. I agree with some thoughts about men dont think shemales are men because of the feminine upper bodies. Shemales go the a great lenght to make themselves more attractive than normal women because they wanted so bad to become ones. Men often say "I dont care if they are fake (implant boobs), if I can touch them, they are real." This let me to believe men really think shemales are nothing but women. My husband is a hypocrite. He hate men being with other men (gay or bi) but it is ok for him to fantasize shemales. I pray alot for him to open his heart to God and to help us through this difficult time.I can understand someones have identity disorder and want to have a sex change opperation to become the opposite sex. However the porn industry focuses on making these shemales as an attraction for money really discusses me. I call these porn shemales freaks, I called my husband a freak if and when he was turned on by these porn shemales. The porn industry really dehumanize the real situations of some ppl going after the own hearts on sex operations.I have studied a good bit on transexuals, transgenders and transvestites. Most sex slave transgenders die from AIDS because they cant find jobs and will turn to selling sex for money to support hormones. I just can't imagine what they have to go through in life to change their identity form male to female, female to male. Again, the shemale porn industry damages the true causes.I am forgiving my husband on his shemale sex addiction as long as he keeps his promises to stay away from it. It did damage my marriage at certain point. I always doubt his sexual perversion, at least for awhile yet.I hope you can stop your husband from watching shemale porn or chatting online. I practice "Out of sight out of mind" and so far it is working. Good luck
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reader, Weirdo  +, writes (7 February 2008):
Sorry for my English... i'm trying to get better in it First of all i want to say i'm straight.. im 19... was in love with 3 girls till now altough unlucky in love.. i didn't had any sexuall experience till this point and was never interested in man, i was with girls but i didn had sex with em, the relationships didn lasted eneugh.. the main reason is the OCD(Opsessive Compulsive disorder, it isnt just about repeating some actions in some order or simmilar stuff its much much more)im handsom, athletic build, not ugly and i lack Selfconfidence, even if there is no reason for that,the reason is OCD plus other stuff that come along in the Package with OCD ,so i started early to watch porn and get addicted to it.. (sexuall addiction)..i cant be bi or gay i know it, as an OCD guy i asked that myself a lot.. cos as an ocd ur always thinking that something is not ok with u... "i have aids!! even if didn got even a chance to get it". So i searched alot on the forums ,sites thinking first that im gay or bi but its not like that... iv come across some usefull information from other ppl and from my experience that il write down here... its gonna be a long post as manny of u can see but its worth reading it.. cos i add some new reasons for the Shemale atraction ...reading alot about this sensation iv come across that gay ppl arent turned on by shemales... its because homosexuals arent turned on by the penises as some ppl would assume, gay ppl are turned on by the male body, they dont say that they are turned off by the penises either but it isnt the penis that turns them on.. so unless u like guys.. and u get a hard on, muscular bodies or hairy chests,u probably arent gay or bisexuall ... i pointed this out just to make some things clear... There can be much reasons why somone would watch shemale porn including that he is a repressed bisexuall or that he has repressed homoerotic fantasys, so i can say that the reasons for shemale atraction vary from subject to subject from a person to another... here are few reasons why somone could be atracted to shemales.. i line up the reasons why im thinking i got turned on by them lately...1. O.C.D (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) the main reason; Altough i dont have the extreme case of ocd i still have it... what mostly ppl probably dont know is that ocd can involve Obsesive toughts of Sexuall nature.. those toughts include Sexuall behaviour towards others in form of homosexuall , perverted and vorbidden sexuall, actions (remember this are only toughts) to make things clear i can say that ocd ppl may think alot how it would be to jump from a building to commit suicide but they probably never gonna do it... they think about it but they dont do it, this should not be differet from the Sexuall Obsesive toughts.These toughts or this kind of obsessive thinking can lead to shemale atraction as something perverted, forbbiden.2. Anal Fetish as somone mentioned before... as far as i can remember and as far i watched porn i always have been turned on by sexuall actions from behind (straight anal porn). There can be many reasons why somone could have Anal fetish but one i mentioned above could be cos of the o.c.d Obsessive toughts involving perverted, forbidden sexuall actions, im not saying that im turned off by the p***y but im not turned on much either. The question now could be,what does this have to do with shemale atraction? the Answer is simple, not much girls allow anal penetration to their boyfriends or husbands , imagine a "girl" that can be only fu***d in the a** , for somone with the anal fetish this is a very interesting tought from wich comes the shemale attraction... i have to mention that im to only atracted to shemales with very or better sayed ultra feminine looks and that im only watching the kind of shemale porn in wich a man is not penetrated..so this has to do again more with thinking and imagining of such girls, to wich the shemale are the closest form.. coming back again to the OCD and the Sexuall Obsessive toughts. Gonna mention that i had like most of guys out there probably, sometimes when i was drunk imagined how it could be to put a finger in my a** the tought about it was the part that excited me... but the action itself cos i done it few times... wasnt very pleasant..and not much excited.. This can be probably linked with Anal fetish..3. The last but not less important thing is Sexuall addiction(i started to fight it... deleted all my porns i had on the computer and im trying not to visit the porn sites altough i didn tought that its gonna be so dificult.... ) the shemales arent something new to me.. iv seen them few years ago on porn channels had plenty of chances to see them on internet since then but i havent done it.. reason? the sexuall adiction like any other adiction as somone mentioned before starts from softer porn to harder porn and more perverted porn... like a drug user that starts using hard drugs after the soft one dont get him satisfied any more, its the same with sexuall adiction... ocd, anal fetish and sexuall adiction is a very bad combination... As long as i didn saw all the possible anal porn and as far there was still something new to discover i was not interested in shemale porn, i was not either freely entering into this kind of porn... i did it accidentally..i wasnt even thinking about watching it. i was searching for clips of a pornstar, and when i started to watch it i saw them.. 2 shemales penetrating her.. in this sitation its like new doors and dimensions opened for my perverted mind... a new continent do discover, something new, something different something even more Perverted... i have to get rid off this addiction for sure.. this is lasting for about a month now and only this kind of porn gives me the necessary kick to get rly turned on so i decided to stop it before its gonna start to take over my mind even if its hard to stop...Lately i have intensive erotic dreams 95% of em include me f*****g, kissing, touching girls, known girls of mine or some imaginary ... explanation.. probably lack of sexuall activities and sex overall in my life..(before i kissed a girl i dreamt regulary of that :P ) few of them included shemales but its just curiosity imo.. A compleatly different situation is when i encounter a girl that i found atractive in real life...it sounds sad but i could only touch her boobs and start to hmmm... u know what to do :)So by me its probably just a fetish :) sexuall addiction ocd.. by other ppl it can be something different but il just repeat the sentance somone wrote on some site or forum " u are not gay, and u are probably not bisexuall either you are just a sick bastard :D " take it with humour ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I just found out my fiance has been looking at shemale porn and I'm horrified. We have spoken about it and he insists it's just a fantasy and that he would never act on it - but I also found he'd been looking at escort and nightlub sites. He says, like other men here, that he only likes looking at the 'pretty ones' which to him means he's looking at women. But they have cocks for goodness sakes! Like other men here, he says he doesn't know why it turns him on, it just does. Oh come on! It's a man, with a dick - if you fancy it you must be bisexual - you must know why you like it! I asked him how he would feel if he found I'd been looking at women dressed as men - he said I would assume I had lesbian tendancies. Sorry but this isn't 'normal' - you can't say you're striaght and at the same time like looking at dicks (one of the videos was a tranny masturbating). Looks like I'm not getting married now - i'm gutted. But hey, we'd only had sex about 10 times in 3 years, he only has female friends so who's the fool...
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): I am disgusted at the thought of grown men looking at other men..seriously I dont care how much logic you try to put into it that they are not males..you're just in denial and need to come out of the closet cuz you are bi. They are humans born male who have enhanced they appearance to be women..but they are men..and born males. My husband does this too and it just grosses me out and recently I have caught him googling where to meet shemales. that is a sure sign that porn is a gateway to more things. This guys say that they dont act out on it but look at them looking at it, they obiviously were curious about it. What's to stop them from physically trying it out and gfulling that curiouslity. I am scared of diseases in general and he thought of my man screwing a shemale gives me the creeps that i may catch something. Them looking at porn is not a disease..people...they are addicts. They always will be unless they get help. They start out small and eventually more will happen. GOOD LUCK
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): If your man is fooling around, no matter who it is with, then you have a serious problem on your hands. However, if he is only looking at shemale porn, I don't see why it is such a big deal. Men look at all kinds of different porn. You would be shocked and amazed at the things we look at or think about. But civilization takes over and we don't act out on it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): The turn-on about shemales is that they are sexy femininine in appearence but presumably have a "Male" sex drive. Also shemale can allow male to be submissive sexually which NEVER happens in a sexual relationship with females.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): One thing that got me fascinated with shemales is that they are women, but they got something masculine. The thought of a petite little lady with all her nice ultra-feminine mannerisms, and a mean machine gun between her legs really gets me "confused". It is similar to the woman-smoking fetish, or to the woman-driver fetish in those countries where driving is considered something very manly and not normally done by women, or the woman-soldier-machine-gunner fetish, etc.
Try to talk about this with your husband, and then reach some sort of a BDSM ritual agreement, where you put on a strap-on, and he has to give you a BJ. He must perform the BJ like your subordinate on your command, like order it anytime you catch him watching porn. Maybe get an army uniform with officer markings, etc, or put on a man's business suit that a CEO would wear. You want to retain your femininity, but look like you're doing something in the "manly" domain. For better instructions, talk to a sex therapist. Maybe this way he'll associate this "woman-performing-manly-action" fetish with you rather than with some porn.
Hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): obviously has some issues from childhood
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007):
just a few questions from one who is also in a similar situation..
Do you think HE would be as understanding and willing to research if YOU were the one with an alternative sexual curiosity?
Don't kid yourself..men are far less forgiving and understanding...
Is he worth the time and energy you are spending on this?
and if so.. are YOU OK with living with this for the rest of your life.. because it does not go away!
Comment: I am so tired of men making excuses for themselves and making such an effort to manage the perception of others regarding their own obsessive behavior..
where does it stop? when do women say enough?
really, let's face reality and let them do what they feel the urge to do .. as long as they do it alone and not while they are in a "relationship" with a women.
if it were the woman doing this there would be zero tolerance!!!!!!!!!!
let him go..
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): I am a man, going through the same issue with my girlfried of a year. I've visited TS porn sites, and even messed around a bit on craigslist. She's had a really hard time coming to terms with this and I've had a really hard time communicating why I find it attractive.
I agree with some of the more calming reassurances that the man is not gay, that the mind and sexuality are complicated things and situations like this should be handled with delicacy, not guns a blazin.
The TS porn I like is where the model appears very feminine, and through looks and behaviour comes off as a woman with something extra. Not to be confused with cross dressers or transvestites.
After a few rocky days of me constantly trying to reassure her that she is not inadequate for my sexual tastes, and her reading on the internet about how common it is for men to have this fantasy, she has decided to support me in it and I can't tell you how happy this makes me to not have to feel ashamed about this part of myself. That the woman I love knows everything about me and loves me back.
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reader, sam581 +, writes (27 November 2007):
I know exactly how you feel. A few weeks ago, I discovered that my boyfriend of 1 year and half is also fascinated with trannies/shemales to the point that he's offered to meet them. The worst part is that we are in along distance relationship and see each other 2x a month.I don't know how to confront him about this as I found this information behind his back. I am so devastated right now that I have co ntemplated breaking up with him over that. Please mail me if you want to talk.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): 100% normal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): I am a 28 year old male in a 8 year heterosexual relationship going through the exact same thing. I've looked at pornography since before I could get an erection. This is part of a sexual addiction. Some addicts refer to it as a disease. It is progressive like an alcoholic or drug addict. The user will always need more. I have started going to Sexaholics Anonymous (sa.org) to try to control and change my addiction. It is treated with the same ideas that Alcoholic's Anonymous uses. Please look into this if you're truly looking for a stop. I must also say that any type of religous foundation in ones self will greatly increase you chances of healing. It is the moral background of the majority of the world that makes pornography etc. unacceptable. I am guessing that is why your having issues with it. A vast majority of us are taught and believe that any sin will cause us to burn in hell. We are also taught to forgive. Please stand by you man. He is not gay. I wouldn't trade anything for my fiance, and I certainly did not realize what I was doing could make her doubt my love for her. There are ways to get through this. It probably won't be easy, but imagine the strength that it could help the two of you develop in your relationship. I hope I helped someone. Just the assurance from previous post helps me to stay sober on more day.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): I'm a bi cross dressing butch and submissive ex escort who is sometimes very male and sometimes very female. If anyone would understand it's me. Your husband is either one of two things but the one thing he isn't is gay, he probably doesn't like butch men. He is like most men, attracted to highly feminine shemales because in many ways they are more feminine than most women. Unlike most women who are taught to be strong and fight for women rights transexuals are the opposite. They usually want to be delicate feminine submissives all the time, they have gone through great length to be so. They also can't get pregnant, know how to please men and are often escorts. They are also usually highly molded to look like exagerated sexualized women due to lots of plastic surgery not unlike porn stars. So with this in mind your husband has either been cross dressing himself his whole life and been hiding it but is probably not gay or discovered shemales later in life and was facinated by them. Since he doesn't have one available he seeks them out. He doesn't like you any less, but he's not going to seek female porn because he already has you if he needs it. He'll never have sex with a man or want to marry a tranny that's what women are for to him. But in a sexual fantasy or just a simple hook up the thought of a tranny turns him on because it's so taboo and exciting. Something different. You can either let him continue his fantasy because he will if you do nothing or you can talk to him about it and see if you can come to some compromise about it. If he was looking at asian porn you wouldn't make yourself asian would you. It's just something you have to deal with. He has a common fetish and it's up to you whether you want to encourage it or just find some other way to deal with it. You need to talk to him in a very understanding and open minded way though or else you may find him ordering shemale escorts behind you back. I dated many married men while I was escorting not because they were unhappy with there wives but I was that something extra they always wanted. You need to talk to him before it's too late. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): Please dont worry too much!!!! It does not mean he is gay. I have never found a guy sexually attractive, therefore I am not gay in my opinion. However, I looked at a few shemales and i think they fooled my subconscious mind with their feminine aspects, so i didn't really see them as guys at all. I think you should find a way to discuss this issue with your husband, becuase if he distracted by the shemales frequently he can forget how sexy you really are to him. Try to get him off the shemales for a few days and give him some great sex and in a few weeks hopefully he will forget about them. That's right, he might have temporarily forgot how he feels about you because of the shemales. It's weird subconscious that may take time to deprogram. Thank you for reading. I'm wishing the best for you in life - Dan
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): Well, I hope you read this. I am a male who loves tranny porn. I know this certainly does not mean that I am gay. No way does the thought of having sex with a man turn me on. You may argue that shemales are men but I would disagree. I hate the thought of having sex with a man but I love shemales. I hope this answers your question. You don't have to be gay to like shemales.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): I have struggled with this question. I am lead to believe that the love of my life is attracted to the bazzar. I am so unhappy. He has a tranny/Shemale anything with brests and a penis fetish. It takes up most of his days when he is not working. This also includes trannys/shemales and animals all togeter, not to mention gay porn. He lies so well and deniyes it all. But then talks to me about how his friends have it there mobile phones? I have also found out in a fasion that he is cheating on me, with women...incase you were wondering.On the internet.
anybodys advice
would be
appreciated, am I grasping at straws? Has this person got problems that can not be solved? Am I wasting mine and my 8 year old sons time and life on this person?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): Wow, I am going thru the exact same thing right now. I just got married in June and my husband lives about 200 miles from me. He gave me access to his bank account and I went and viewed some of his old bank statements online. I saw many charges for this adult entertainment site. When I went to this "porn" site I realized he had been buying lots of minutes to view porn, when I went to his "favorites" section, all of it was she-male and transgender porn along with a couple of gay porns. I am completely at a loss for words and when I confronted him I know I handled it improperly because I asked him if he had some kind of sick twisted fetish I was unaware of. Then I asked him if he was molested as a child. I know I handled it wrong.....please help me understand.
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reader, joejohn +, writes (6 September 2007):
I'm a straight guy and got started on shemale porn when i was curious of all the ads in the backs of penthouse, hustler, ie those magazines and saw the chicks w/ dicks ads, curiosity killed me and i looked at some porn online. It's only the trans on girl and trans on trans though that i like... probably because i love lesbian porn as well, only these ones involve a little something extra, i can't explain it either, I don't think you have anything to worry about, but definitely talk to him about it and find out what it is that he likes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): I know what you are saying. I have gone online to find my boyfriend in a shemale chatroom twice. Once after we had just broken up and once yesterday. I can't believe it. We have a good sex life overall. The only "blip" I would say is that he does not enjoy giving orally. I don't know if he's gay/bi or whatever. He's always been a masculine guy, but now I don't know what to think. His job demands that he travels heavily and I am scared that chatting could be leading to something else. Any thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): I am straight and like shemale porn. So here is my two bits...Your man is not gay (IMHO). He is most likely very comfortable with his hetro-sexuality. Yes, in a purist sense one could say he was Bi (but not attracted to straight or gay males). He also may have an anal fetish and is not comfortable approaching you on the subject.Most non-homophibic straight men fantasize over transsexuals (not to be confused with tranvestites, google the differences) who look very feminine, most even more (facial and figure wise) beatiful than the average women --- with modern advances in plastic sugery enhancements. Most likely this will remain a fantasy and he will never act on making it a reality.I know its very hard for women to understand men's sexual fantasies which can seem perverted, deviant or any other label the puritian hypocrites of today would label it. Confronting him directly may put him on the defensive.If it bothers you terribly, seek the advice of a qualified sexual fetish psychiatrist. Do Not get influenced in the emotional advice, opinions and moral judgements of "others". He is and probably will be a mans man deeply in love with you.Keep an open mind :)
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reader, AlliD +, writes (24 August 2007):
Well, my story sounds just like yours.... and a few others on here. My husband is a man's man..... Great athlete, successful, financial professional, very outgoing, social, good looking, etc... He also started out looking at craigslist, got involved in female prostitutes, eventually a curiosity developed for shemales, which led to shemale prostitutes, etc....
Don't be fooled by your husband' "just looking" at craigslist.com. If he is looking at the erotic services then he might be contacting the female or shemale prostitutes on there. My husband's curious desire for shemales turned into hiring shemale prostitutes for nearly 2 years. I believe he was only with females for a year.
He recently got caught and is in therapy for sexual addiction. He is embarrassed, ashamed, and devastated at what he did. But he did do it. His story could be completely different than yours and I am not trying to scare you, but the lure of pornography and the aggressive nature of propstitutes can be overwhelming for some.
We had one particular shemale prostitute calling and asking for my husband even when I would answer his cell phone. The texting was non stop also.
As for wondering if your husband is bi/gay? I am not a professional so I can not answer that for you. My husband claims he does not find men attractive at all etc... However, he did do some things with male body parts.... So I guess I still don't know.
I would ask him... he might get very defensive, but you really need to know. We both were tested for STDs. You could be putting yourself at risk. Take it from someone that took his word for it the 1st time I suspected something and less than a month later my world was ripped apart... Do yourself a favor and find out. Please feel free to contact me directly if you have more questions....
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): I can definitely relay with your situation since my husband has the same fantasy about shemales. Just a couple of days ago, I caught he had an internet relationship with a shemale in one of the country in Asia; he chats with him (I cannot address this shemale as "her" since he is not!) and even sent him money. I was devastated, and now we are in the process of divorce. He had violated and cheated on our marriage vow (we are having marriage issue before his relationship with this shemale started). He said he didn't cheat on me since it is only an internet thing (chatting and emailing), but sending this person money already proven that this shemale is special to him. He even told "him" that he loves him and want to make love to him. I was shocked and disgusted with this and think that divorce is the best solution for us but we have a daughter and I battling myself if I did make a good decision.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): Do not be concerned. Just because a man looks at tranny porn doesn't mean he's gay. And it doesn't mean he's losing interest in you at all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): It's really interesting that woman find this to be so terrible. If I looked at an orgy video, does that mean I want to participate in one? The answer is no. It turns me on, but in real life I realize that it would be...there is no other word, "yucky"! It's the same with shemale porn. It's the same with all porn. Just because I might look at it, doesn't mean I'd do it in real life.
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reader, penta +, writes (31 July 2007):
 Try to get your guy to look at porn through a different venue -- not on the computer. Porn sites on the computer are notorious for downloading ad-ware, mal-ware, and plain viruses.
If you know he's visited porn sites (not just Craig's list but actual porn sites.) Tell your guy that you and he need to take the computer to the shop and have the "extra" programs removed, because you're getting nasty popups (whether you are or not). He'll know he's visited these sites, so he won't question you.
Then have a discussion about the porn that you know he's looking at (because of the pretend popup).
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): Get a strap on and offer to do him. Some guys like this (my man does). He's just having a fantasy; I doubt it means he isn't into you anymore. It's not like he's looking at guys. He still wants the feminine. And if he wants you to take it there, he ought to be willing to take it there himself.
If you're really lucky, the reality won't be what the fantasy was and he'll be done. (Of course there's always the chance that he'll be thrilled and want it all the time. I don't have any advice if this happens.)
In any case, I'd be more concerned that he only wants it from behind anymore. You and he need to have a frank discussion about that.
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reader, OHMILF +, writes (31 July 2007):
I am in the swing community which is populated with bi-sexual men and women. Almost all of the bi-sexual men I have spoken too told me that they started their interest in being with other men through trannie pics and MFM threesomes. Now, unlike female bi-sexuals, most bi men are not into one-on-one sex with another man, but like to have another woman there or a female type to make it fall within their comfort zone. Honey, in all honesty, your man is bi, but on the positive side he is hetero not homo leaning and with bi-sexuality the person is almost always leaning more towards one sex or the other. The trannie lovers are hetero-leaning, but they are still bi.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Do't worry about it. I am a straight male and I enjoy watching tranny porn. I don't know what attracts me to it exactly, but I will try and explain best as I can. I guess what attracts me is the fact that a tranny looks like a female - breasts, long hair, female figure, skin, etc. But they have a penis. It's weird. I'm not attracted to men or penises on men, only on trannies. I guess it's kind of a subconcious thing. You know when you watch a porno and a guy is having sex with a chick, you try to imagine that you are the guy? Guys will understand this better than females. Hence, when a guy watches tranny porn, he imagines that it is his penis on the chick - the best of both worlds in one package.
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reader, robina  +, writes (28 July 2007):
I know how you feel and its devistating.I , like yourself have gone through the same thing and I think the more we try to anilise it the more upset we become.I discoverd my boyfriend was registerd on She male contact sites, i have not been the same since, im keeping his dirty secret and its kiling mePlease mail me if you want to talk
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2007): Hi, i have recently discovered exactly the same thing. My boyfriend recently moved in with me and I discovered the sites he was looking at (normal porn and tv porn) by mistake through the history button while looking for a previous site I had been on. I feel really funny about it as before that our sex life has become none existant, in the last 4 months we have only had sex 2 times! I have tried to talk to him about us not having sex and have heard every excuse in the book, tired, not in the mood etc etc. I'm heartbroken. I would love to watch normal porn with him, I do by myself, but he won't even do that. I don't have kids with him, but find that I don't want to leave him as I am aware he loves me alot, but at this moment in time I feel that I am becoming his mother not his girlfriend. I know how you feel about it, there isn't a day goes by now that I don't think about it. My boyfriend doesn't like to talk much either so me approaching him about it would be pointless. Sometimes I wonder why we even bother with relationships for all the pain and worry that can come of them! Good luck with your relationship and hopefully we will all be ok in the end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): I don't think he's gay. I like trannie pics too, I find them really interesting, but I can't explain why. I can also say that I find other men pretty darn ugly!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): Your story sounds just like mine. Everything you wrote. My husband didn't clear his history and that is how I found out. I know for me , I was so devastated. He has turned me off so bad. I am not allowed to speak about it anymore. It happened a year ago. I have children and I don't know if you do. If I hadn't though I know for sure I would not stay. I am just so turned off by it. My gay friend told me what they all have said here that it doesn't mean he is gay. Well I have a hard time believing that a so called straight man would want to look at me and you with a penis. Let me tell you this, my husband denied it at first. He finally told me yes it was him. He knew he couldn't keep lying about that one. I hope things get better for you. There hasn't been a day that goes by that I don't think about all that has happened. Good Luck ok.
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reader, splendid_spiders +, writes (21 July 2007):
The mind is very complicated and humans are deep, black bottomless pits of emotion. Think about the things you've done when alone or the things you've thought about ... things you'd never talk about with anyone ... things you might be ashamed of. I totally understand your concern, but just remember the complicated nature of all that's human. We all do things that can't be understood ... just beware if it begins to change your relationship. If your relationship begins to change for the worse because of this, that's when you should really begin to worry. Good luck. Ps ... I too found some shemale porn in my man's closet. I'm not going to worry about it unless I feel I really need to. If all is well in your relationship, let him have his private thoughts ... we all have and need to have them.
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reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (21 July 2007):
 I'm straight and not attracted to shemales. I think it's safe to say that the straight men I know are not attracted to shemales, either. For all the straight men I know, and for the gay ones I've met, also, a person with a penis is, in the end, a man. Maybe a gay man, et cetera, but a man. I don't think this is the usual porn a straight man would look at. I wouldn't.
However, I don't think this proves he's gay. Maybe he's just curious.
I won't say much about using a keylogger. You know that this is not right. However, this is not my concern at this point. You know, madam, obviously you used the keylogger for the change in his interest and his behavior, so I will not be the first to throw a stone at you. I think this must be quite an issue.
And then, I agree with you that his deleting the browsing history may be suspicious. Obviously he knows the effect that shemale porn would have on you.
There can be some doubt as to whether he's gay, but there's no question you have a problem in your relationship. Now that you've found he looks at shemale porn, obviously you need to know whether something is going on. It will be a bit hard to bring the issue, but I think you will have to.
Hope this helps.
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