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How can I make my vagina dry so that my husband wont want to have sex with me?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 July 2007) 22 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *nhappy 1 in ca. writes:

I've been married for 16 1/2 years.

We've had great sex,but lately I'm not interested

in having it with him.He's very controlling in the

bedroom he wants it every night.And the problem I

have is my vagina is very wet at night and he loves

it.How can I get it dry.

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A male reader, dedo Kenya +, writes (8 October 2009):

well making it dry is not the solution.But i suggest you pretend that you are also interested in having it.AM sure this might keep him off.Some guys need to do what you dont want.just a kind of psychological test.

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A male reader, Raymond United States +, writes (11 July 2008):

Tell him to take you anally.

Without lube.

--Ray

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

Stop being prude its your job to give it to him. I bet you don't work. Because you've got a problem with a wet pussy isn't his fault and it takes two tango. So if you've allowed this behavior as if its normal then you can't turn around and bitch because thats how you've trained him to read this situation. If you want to be on top and stop being submissive then.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

YOU ARE IN A VERY UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.. this is my opinion.. i think that every woman should be respected. the fact that he goes on to watch porno and other disrespecting things to you.. he is not a respectful man. You deserve better and i belive every woman does!.. i dont know what to tell you.. other than your not in a very healthy relationship. good luck. seek help..

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (26 July 2007):

penta agony auntHi Colleen -- I sent you another message with phone numbers to call in your area (people who can help you escape). You haven't read your message and I'm worried. Please contact me, either on this thread or privately. Take care. -Penta

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007):

This maniac needs to be put away, you have to find a refuge shelter a womans refuge helpline love... Like penta says get out find someway and do it...I understand you only to well and you need help there must be some form of help available to you PLEASE TRY AND GET HELP GO TO THE POLICE IF YOU HAVE TO JUST GET OUT! TAKE CARE OF YOU, YOU ARE THE IMPORTANT ONE ALWAYS REMEMBER WHAT YOUR WORTH!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (20 July 2007):

penta agony auntColleen -- I sent you a private message...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007):

well i know from experience that that will not make him not want it but i'll tell you what works for me..... put on that green face mask put curlers in your hair and wear old holey raggedy bed clothes

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A female reader, unhappy 1 in ca. United States +, writes (19 July 2007):

unhappy 1 in ca. is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Penta

I trust you I'm going to tell you my story.

I got married at 25 and had my son at 27.

Before my marriage to my husband I didn't know he had a past.He's been in prison,he's been deported and he's

done things ilegally.In 2005 he became a permanent

resident.I petitioned him.I've been behind him alot.

And I never get a thank you or a appreciation.

Penta I have never been on my own.I lived with my parents

till I was 25 and then got married.

By the way I only knew him 3 mths before we got married.

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (19 July 2007):

penta agony auntLook into a battered women's shelter and see if they can help you find a place. Your county should have a list of them. Also, you should see a lawyer (the shelter can help you with this too). You have rights and this guy is bad news. Once the shelter helps you build a plan to get out, you should call the police on your soon-to-be ex. Tell them where his stash is. (That is if you're not able to prosecute him for rape.) This should help you with the divorce.

In the meantime, try to document as much as you can. Get a daily calendar at work and 1st thing every a.m. list what happened with him the day before. The more you can document, the better able you'll be to fight him.

Hon, you deserve so much better than this guy. He deserves a jail cell.

I don't know if something like this is available, but maybe you can find one online. I'll bet there's the modern-day equivalent of a chastity belt for people who like to "role play." Get one. That way you'll wake BEFORE he enters rather than during/after.

Good luck! Please let us know how it goes. And don't for ONE MINUTE believe that you've done anything to deserve this treatment. This guy is a criminal and you deserve better.

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A female reader, unhappy 1 in ca. United States +, writes (19 July 2007):

unhappy 1 in ca. is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you Penta for understanding.

Easier said than done.

I'm in a situation where I have no place to go.

I can't afford to rent a room.

I live paycheck to paycheck.

I have no family here.They live 2600 miles away.

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (19 July 2007):

penta agony aunt"Then he comes back into the room and fucks me when I'm asleep."

THAT'S RAPE! You need to leave this guy. He has no interest in your feelings at all. He belittles you. Please, get out of this relationship! You deserve so much better!

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A female reader, unhappy 1 in ca. United States +, writes (18 July 2007):

unhappy 1 in ca. is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I think like that all the time. Everytime we are going to

have sex and I don't respond to his needs. He gets upset

and verbally abuses me. Leaves the room and goes watches

the Playboy channel or goes to check out Porno sites. And

during all that he gets "high" He says it relaxes him.

Then he comes back into the room and fucks me when I'm asleep.

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A male reader, _Edward_ United Kingdom +, writes (18 July 2007):

_Edward_ agony aunt Think about it, is drying your vagina make any deference (not including that it will be painful), and it could do some damage to your relationship. Make a spatial day, on which you both think is a good day to have sex, like Saturday…or make a rule like one sex night per week. And think about it if you dry your vagina, your husband wont want to have sex with you…but think what if you want to have sex…! Like I said it could damage your guys relationship.

Hope all works out just fine… =)

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A female reader, unhappy 1 in ca. United States +, writes (18 July 2007):

unhappy 1 in ca. is verified as being by the original poster of the question

My name is Colleen.

I'am the woman that is married to a man for 16 1/2 yrs.

Thank you Penta for understanding my situation.

Last night I told my husband I wasn't interested and he

told me I don't have the say in this matter.

So every night I have to be the one to make the advances.

I say never marry outside your kind.My husband is a over

sexed man he watches Porn,and he smokes weed.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007):

You're complaining about being "too wet" at your age? Gotta be kidding me, wish I had that problem. Your problem isn't the amount of "moisture" it's your husband's unreasonable and exhausting demands killing your sex drive, and a lack of communication. Demanding sex is just as selfish as withholding it. You guys really need to talk, work out a compromise.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (18 July 2007):

eddie agony auntDo you really think avoiding sex is going to solve your problem? You need to communicate with your husband. Figure out how you can get in the mood and how often. I'd have to say he deserves to have sex more than you deserve to withhold it from him.

Sex is natural. He's well within his rights to want/need/expect sex. If the only reason you've decided not to do it is because the drive has fizzled out, try to fix it. Why would you jump to the point of giving up on sex.

Things change but this is a negative change that you can resolve. Try to be realistic and giving. You're well within your rights not to "perform" every night but trying to dry up your vagina sounds a little weird.

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A female reader, jtaunton5410 United States +, writes (18 July 2007):

jtaunton5410 agony auntWhy dont you want to have sex with him anymore? are your feelings changing towards him? Ya know my boyfriend likes to have it every night as well and when I go to sleep early or I am on my period he just goes on the internet, looks and porn and masturbates, It drives me insane because I always wonder, am I not good enough for him or does he just need to see other naked women? So anyways I think that you should talk to your hubby just to get out any negative or positive feelings you may have. I dont really no how to make your vagina dry but I think that before you go to he lengths of changing your body to something he doesnt like you two shoild really discuss why you want to do that. Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.

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A female reader, Beckto United States +, writes (18 July 2007):

Beckto agony auntI second Penta. Talk to your husband. Just say what you want.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007):

There is a powder made just for this problem. Do an online search for vaginal powder..I forget what it is called but I used it before. Like they said though it won't help. Who knows, maybe he'll want it even more cuz he feels more friction. I would just talk to him & tell him you won't do it on command & that you're just not interested lately, reassure him that it's temporary but you need a break.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico + , writes (18 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntPenta has it just right.

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (18 July 2007):

penta agony auntBelieve me, that won't solve your problem. Having it dry will just make it painful, it won't keep him from wanting it.

Wanting it EVERY night is a little excessive, though. You should talk with him and compromise. If it HAS TO BE every night, no wonder you don't want it. If you have it less frequently, and it's less of a "demand performance," you'll have an easier time looking forward to it.

Open communication here is crucial.

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