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| | *91's profile:"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?
Q. Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...
A. 21 January 2018: Just get the ring.
Don't mess about with something that's important to you, you don't need to hear anything else from him. Get the ring back and leave, simple. Then block his number and move on with your life.... (read in full...)
Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?
Q. Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...
A. 18 January 2018: It happens, and will keep happening until you find the one for you.
Don't shut yourself off or block people out because of it though. All these experiences you go through toughen your skin and make it easier to weed out the bad ones because ... (read in full...)
How can I find out her feelings for me?
Q. I have a female friend and have a crush on her from last three months. She is having a boyfriend and their marriage talks are going on. But its not confirmed as of now. While talking to her, it seems she is having interest in me.Maybe I am wrong, ...
A. 18 January 2018: If she doesn't want to break up with her BF and she's discussing marriage then it's clear she doesn't have any feelings for you.
Stay clear of their relationship and if you can't control your feelings then you need to distance yourself from thi... (read in full...)
Apart from these issues my boyfriend is great.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for four months now. We get along really well. He use to be a well known player in our town. The sex is alright. He likes it better than me. Hence the fact I've had better lovers. The two issues I'm having are this: ...
A. 18 January 2018: Really?
He sounds about 14 years old.
He's very clearly told you if the sex wasn't as good then he wouldn't be sticking around. Surely that and the fact he's an immature ass would be enough to kick him to the curb.... (read in full...)
Should I be open to casual sex to gain experience?
Q. I am a 25 yr old male with a problem in dating/sex I cant figure out. I am finishing medical school this year. I put in a lot of work/long hours to get where I am. I go to the gym try new hobbies etc. I was shy in high school,got better in...
A. 18 January 2018: I know a few people who have slept with 100+ females but there's rumours that go around that they're terrible lovers. Having sex with more people won't magically make you better in the sack.
You do whatever you want, if you want casual sex go a... (read in full...)
Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?
Q. Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...
A. 17 January 2018: I wouldn't even be trying to work out what happened.
He clearly told you he wanted sex and let's be honest who would invite a girl to their house at that time for anything else? If anything, I think you've had a lucky escape here. Take it from a g... (read in full...)
Should we split so that I can folllow my dream?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and we've been living with each other for 2.5 years. I feel as time is going by that I'm changing and he isn't (this is probably because he's 25 and I'm 22). I do absolutely love him and he's my best ...
A. 17 January 2018: You want to travel, you will regret not doing it, but at the same time you don't want to break up with your boyfriend.
You need to think long and hard about which is more important. Neither decision is wrong as it's ultimately what YOU feel is ... (read in full...)
Why am I still tempted by my ex that didn't treat me well when I have a great guy in my life?
Q. Hi, I have been broken up with my ex for 1.5 years now. While we are mostly "off" there have been a few instances where we talk, get caught up on our lives and sometimes hook up. We both know it's not going to work out but he'll say things like ...
A. 17 January 2018: Block your ex, it's really that simple.
Why would you even be thinking about going back? He doesn't give a flying fuck about you. If he wanted things to work you wouldn't be an ex. He only decides he's interested when someone else is in the pict... (read in full...)
Is my diet likely to work?
Q. Hey there folks. I am an unfit teen who is grossly over weight. I have heard about the apple a day thing. Does that work? I do excise Monday-Friday for about 40 mins. My mother has bad very bad eating habits, which I have grown up with and she'll ...
A. 16 January 2018: I think eating an apple a day would be extremely dangerous.
Your body needs calories to function properly each day and to have a drastic reduction in calories in a short space of time could only have a negative impact on the body.
To lose... (read in full...)
I want marriage and children, is he wasting my time?
Q. So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about five years we both have crazy work schedules so I suggested that we get a place together somewhere located centrally Between both of our apartments.In my mind it’s the perfect solution so we can spend more ...
A. 15 January 2018: I'd cut this one loose.
How does he not know what he wants after 5 years? What has he been thinking in this time?
A man his age shouldn't be playing games, he should know exactly where he's up to in life.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go away with his friends, not with me!
Q. Lads holiday to Berlin when in a long term relationship of 5 years??? My boyfriend of 5 years and his friends want to go on a lads holiday after we finish our A level exams this summer. They are thinking of going to Berlin however, I’m rea...
A. 13 January 2018: Now that's a completely different story.
If he's going away, then you're going away, no ifs and or buts. No one tells another person what they can and cannot do. Your life is there to live how you choose and he has no say in it.... (read in full...)
He communicates okay, apart from when I suggest we hang out!
Q. I have been talking to this guy for a total of two months, we met on a dating app and have gone on one date since then, I even met his grandparents lol. At the very beginning he was eager-- calling, texting, you name it frequently and now after ...
A. 13 January 2018: Doesn't sound interested to me.
If he was, the contact wouldn't of dropped and he has already said he wants to be friends. That's universally known and 'I'm not interested'. I think bringing up whether he wants a relationship after one date is ... (read in full...)
I'm addicted to cheating
Q. Well my life is the biggest mess ever im in two relationships one long distance and one local. Yet i keep dating other guys and girls i just cant seem to stop cheating. What is wrong with me ? I have been abused alot by men i dont know if that has ...
A. 12 January 2018: What you went through is no excuse to hurt other people.
Break off all your relationships, seek help for what you went through and don't get into any more relationships until you don't have the urge to cheat.... (read in full...)
How do we reconcile our differences over children?
Q. Dear Cupid. So I’m sitting here in tears (currently hormonal) because my partner of 3 years has just told me during a conversation about cars and the future, and me wanting children in 2/3 years time as i’ll be 27-28...(I’m currently 24, 25...
A. 11 January 2018: How long is 'a very long time'?
I think you need a calm but serious discussion about this as if you're on complete different pages then you need to part ways.
Find out the situation as it's your life that you will be wasting if you're not with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is travelling with another woman and told me not to call him
Q. My bf told me to stop texting him for 2 weeks. I am on my 8 days of no contact it's really hard specially I am seeing him online all the time. We've been together for 7 years. But recently for the past 2 years we do not see each other in person due ...
A. 11 January 2018: Come on, where's your self respect?
I'd say I'm 99.9% sure that your bf (hopefully ex after reading this) will be having sex with this other girl. On what planet is it acceptable for a person to tell their partner not to contact them whilst t... (read in full...)
I feel too shamed to talk to my family
Q. Sorry this is a lot but I need to get it off my chest as its too shameful to tell my family and friends. I met an ex vet on Instagram. We fell in love through each others art. He lives in the US and I live in the UK. There is a 20 year age gap betw...
A. 10 January 2018: Run for the hills.
I didn't even read your entire post to know that this guy is extremely dodgy. You said yourself his actions don't match his words, that right there is enough back up to stay well away from this one.
Surely you don't think ... (read in full...)
His email to his brother hurts more than his affair
Q. My partner and I have been together for 3 years in January, he cheated on me with someone I knew in October. In our bed When I was away for 2 days. When I came back he acted like nothing had happened but I knew in my heart and then my friends told ...
A. 10 January 2018: Sorry but why exactly are you trying to work out what's going on in his mind? He has cheated on you more than once if I'm reading your post correctly? What are you hoping to salvage? This man has no respect for you and you're enabling his behaviour ... (read in full...)
I feel stuck,I know I love him but don't know if I can trust him.
Q. I’ll spare the gory details, but I dated this guy for about 9 months (September ‘16 - Jun ‘17). It was the happiest relationship of my life. I was the first to say I love you (which I’ve never done before) about 6 months in; he said it, then took it ...
A. 10 January 2018: I have to agree with the other posters.
I think the fact that he took it back means he isn't willing to say it until he truly means it. Of course it's hurtful to hear someone take something like that back, but then you know when you do hear it ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doest take care of herself and has no ambition
Q. Is it me? Is it her? Are we fizzling. I feel like my gf of 4 yrs doesn't make effort. Everytime we are going out we isn't putting effort in. I don't mind until I realised its everyday. In my family my mum and sisters always make sure they presen...
A. 9 January 2018: Have you actually spoke to her about it?
So many posts come into this website and the asker hasn't even communicated with their other half first. It solves pretty much everything.
As anon said, this does have the tell tale signs of depress... (read in full...)
I'm crushing on a girl who doesn't know I exist!
Q. I am a shy boy of 16. A few months ago, I met a girl who studies in my school, just one grade below me. At first, I did not feel anything, but as time passed, I realized that I was falling for her - I started to like her very much. But, we have ...
A. 9 January 2018: Falling for her in what way exactly?
You mean you find her attractive? Because you have no information about her to be falling for. So she's pleasing on the eye for you, what do you do from here?
You have 2 options as I see it, you either appro... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go away with his friends, not with me!
Q. Lads holiday to Berlin when in a long term relationship of 5 years??? My boyfriend of 5 years and his friends want to go on a lads holiday after we finish our A level exams this summer. They are thinking of going to Berlin however, I’m rea...
A. 9 January 2018: There is nothing you can do besides be the best GF you can be. This sounds like it runs a lot deeper than this holiday to be honest. If you're having other problems and you're feeling like things are strained and you're constantly talking about ... (read in full...)
My best friend and the boy she knows I like ....
Q. Hi,I really need help with this one... Okay so I suppose this issue started about 2 years ago, when I first this friend of mine, over time our friendship developed and he was someone I felt comfortable with. Then at the start of this year, I stupid...
A. 9 January 2018: Again, echoing what you're already heard.
They both sound like wastes of time. One thing you'll learn when you're young is that A LOT of people will come in and out of your life and spend varying lengths of time in there.
This guy sounds like ... (read in full...)
Will he break up with me because I don't like giving head?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and things seem to be going well. However he keeps asking for a blowjob which I'm not keen to do. I've tried it with him for a tiny length of time but really really dislike it. I've told him this. ...
A. 8 January 2018: If he breaks up with you because of this do you really want him as a boyfriend?
Would you rather be single or have to perform sex acts you don't want to on command?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go away with his friends, not with me!
Q. Lads holiday to Berlin when in a long term relationship of 5 years??? My boyfriend of 5 years and his friends want to go on a lads holiday after we finish our A level exams this summer. They are thinking of going to Berlin however, I’m rea...
A. 7 January 2018: On 'that kind of holiday'? What do you mean by that? What are you expecting him to be doing?
Look, you either trust the guy or you dont. Why are you making up this situation that doesn't even exist where he has to choose who he would rather g... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't treat me like an equal partner and expects me to slog at home
Q. My partner and I have been together for seven years, engaged for two. It’ll be two years this coming April since we bought a house together, he is in the military and I work full time in banking. Unfortunately, I’m starting to resent him with ...
A. 7 January 2018: I don't blame you.
Get all your things in order and get out of there. Spend some time working on yourself and getting where you want to be before putting yourself back into the dating pool and finding someone who isn't a lazy, disrespe... (read in full...)
Any chance he will come back?
Q. We dated for 6 months and our releationship was very passionate.He broke up with me because of his depression as he later explained.Then after 5 months he texted me asking for a second chance promising he would not repeat the same mistakes and i ...
A. 7 January 2018: Why would you want to get back with someone you've broken up with twice? Surely you can see a pattern emerging.
It doesn't matter who initiated the breakup, the important thing is that YOU BROKE UP. That means leave the situation as it is. Stop... (read in full...)
Did my friend hook me up with a player?
Q. I am confused and need help to make up my mind and deal with my dented ego. A very good man friend hooked me up with his bestie. He knows us both very well. My friend is a very decent guy, he knows me since I was 11 and would not hook me up just ...
A. 7 January 2018: Quite possibly yes.
I think the main problem here is you had sex on the first night, you both discussed it's not right to do that and he's probably seen that as some kind of challenge.
I have done the whole playing the field thing when I was... (read in full...)
Help me find a way to get our problems out in the open
Q. How do I speak to my partner about things that I'm slacking on? Short backstory, my partner and I have been together for a year and a half, we live together, I am disabled and don't work but can still do most things for myself, and he is pretty...
A. 7 January 2018: Have you actually tried talking to him about it in the past?
There's not much else you can do besides just starting a conversation about it. Tell him how you feel about the situation and ask how he feels, tell him to be completely honest and then... (read in full...)
We met online a week ago and already love each other
Q. I have been divorced for almost 6 months and have been dating. I met someone online and when we met in person we both felt an instant connection. He has already told me he loves me and I have told him also. It has only been a week. I have never had ...
A. 6 January 2018: I'd say it's quite bizarre yes.
You barely know each other, how could you possibly be in love? You really need to slow this down. Spend time with each other and see how it goes. Speaking about marriage after a week would raise red flags to me, t... (read in full...)
My ex still loves me but I don't want to hurt my current boyfriend.
Q. I suddenly met my ex in a wedding a month ago. He still loves me the same and love me though he know I'm in a new relationship. He always treated me a way far better than my present one. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I'm stuckedin between two. ...
A. 6 January 2018: Block them both, move on with your life.
Why dwell on the past?... (read in full...)
Are my husband's conditions unfair?
Q. My husband's conditions for our marriage were that I would never talk to men online ever (including my male cousins, childhood friends who were like my brothers and gay male friends), that I would cut off contact with all my male friends in real ...
A. 6 January 2018: This man sounds unbelievably controlling.
Is he your husband or your owner? Why on earth would you think someone laying down those kind of terms for marriage would be a good catch? That would be the perfect time to hit the road.
You're in an ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't treat me like an equal partner and expects me to slog at home
Q. My partner and I have been together for seven years, engaged for two. It’ll be two years this coming April since we bought a house together, he is in the military and I work full time in banking. Unfortunately, I’m starting to resent him with ...
A. 6 January 2018: Okay so where do you go from here?
He doesn't listen to what you're saying and is resistant to changing his ways. He tries to make you feel guilty because he pays more and expects you to make up for it in other ways even though HE offered to pay t... (read in full...)
Should I confess to my drunken night?
Q. I went out last night and got really drunk. A guy grabbed me and started kissing me and feeling me up and without thinking I started kissing him back. Then he said he would help to get me home safely but he got out of the taxi too and we ended up ...
A. 5 January 2018: I have to disagree.
When it comes to cheating I have absolutely no sympathy. Being drunk is no excuse, if you can't handle your alcohol then don't drink, it's quite simple. You had MULTIPLE chances through this situation to say no, even when you... (read in full...)
Behavior towards my ex girlfriend who cheated and lied, did I act good?
Q. So I'm 19 year old guy and I was in a relationship with a cute girl, she's 17. After a month she dumps me over text. She was even planning for us to go to the gym together. 2 weeks later I found out out that she has cheated on me and got in a rel...
A. 5 January 2018: You're doing well man, both with the breakup and the weight loss.
I have to second honeypies advice that you're not really going out of your way to make her know you're ignoring her. Just do it because you have accepted things are over and you'... (read in full...)
Do I contact him over this rude breakup?
Q. I got in from work to find a email off my boyfriend saying because I'm not an animal person (he has a cat) it won't work out. I have a cat myself. He has blocked me off everything and I don’t know why so I can’t ask him. I knew he was having a few ...
A. 5 January 2018: Nope, absolutely not.
It's done, over, finished. He was looking for a way out and that sorry excuse was the best he could come up with. Good riddance.
Why waste your time trying to work out why he did it rather than focusing your energy on f... (read in full...)
He's in jail, should I tell him how I feel?
Q. So, back in March 2017 I started meeting with a guy I’ve liked for ages! We met about 4 years ago because he is my cousins best friend and so he attended a lot of family events and things like that. We have flirted with each other for a long time ...
A. 5 January 2018: Well without giving the full picture how can accurate advice be provided? The more information that's given the easier it is to answer questions and You're trying to make out this guy has barely done anything wrong when in reality he's been caught ... (read in full...)
I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to dating and would just like any advice
Q. The question I have is the most simple question, that probably every man has asked himself at one point or another. How do I meet women? I have tried online dating and it hasn't favored well for me. It seems that whenever I get a match, the conve...
A. 5 January 2018: You have a good attitude towards it.
It will happen for you one day.... (read in full...)
He's in jail, should I tell him how I feel?
Q. So, back in March 2017 I started meeting with a guy I’ve liked for ages! We met about 4 years ago because he is my cousins best friend and so he attended a lot of family events and things like that. We have flirted with each other for a long time ...
A. 4 January 2018: I have to agree with the others I think he's lying about what he's in for. I think before you tell him anything it would be very wise to get the real story of what's happened so you know what you're letting yourself in for.
My guess for someone ... (read in full...)
My new wife sunbathes topless and I've seen other men looking
Q. We are in honeymoon. My wife did topless tanning in a beach with a lot of people. I dont feel so comfortable with this so I discussed with her. She didnt like it and she told me that I am jealous and that she did it only for tanning. I accepted it ...
A. 4 January 2018: Whether you like it or not you wife wants to do it.
I can completely see your point of view but at the end of the day you have no control over what she does, therefore you need to drop the subject. You have expressed your feelings and she responde... (read in full...)
I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to dating and would just like any advice
Q. The question I have is the most simple question, that probably every man has asked himself at one point or another. How do I meet women? I have tried online dating and it hasn't favored well for me. It seems that whenever I get a match, the conve...
A. 4 January 2018: How did you meet your last GF?
What are your hobbies and interests? Do they have local clubs you could join to meet like minded people?
As for online dating, it may be worth joining paid sites as people on there would be much more likely to b... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but I want to have casual sex with him. How do I ask for him without coming across as cheap?
Q. So, I work with this guy and we get along well together. He not necessarily physically my type but his personality os great. He is funny and makes me laugh and even when we get on eachother nerves we still laugh. I feel comfortable and at ease with ...
A. 4 January 2018: What's the reason for casual sex?
It's possible you'll regret this afterwards, we've seen many posts on this website from people who wish they'd waited for someone they cared about more to lose their virginity to.
But if you're completely happy... (read in full...)
Does he want to be friends because of his financial situation? Or he wants to date others?
Q. Hi This is a question for the guys. My boyfriend was released from prison about a year ago, and he is struggling to get on his feet. I don't have the amount of money that he really needs to be established again, so I just help out when I can. I ...
A. 4 January 2018: He's not interested.
Whatever reason he doesn't want to date you it doesn't matter, the fact is he's saying no.... (read in full...)
Dealing with low self-esteem and body image from acne scars
Q. Hi guys, I have been dating a guy for close to 2 months. We have a great connection and i really like him. But he cares too much about physical appearance. I think I am good looking, both body and face, but have hypopigmented acne scars on my...
A. 4 January 2018: Glad to hear it.
Best wishes for the future ... (read in full...)
My ex still loves me but I don't want to hurt my current boyfriend.
Q. I suddenly met my ex in a wedding a month ago. He still loves me the same and love me though he know I'm in a new relationship. He always treated me a way far better than my present one. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I'm stuckedin between two. ...
A. 1 January 2018: Personally, I don't think either of these guys are right for you.
An ex is named that for a reason. You broke up because something wasn't working and it's always easy to look back on the relationship and say what you'd change to make it work a s... (read in full...)
Dealing with low self-esteem and body image from acne scars
Q. Hi guys, I have been dating a guy for close to 2 months. We have a great connection and i really like him. But he cares too much about physical appearance. I think I am good looking, both body and face, but have hypopigmented acne scars on my...
A. 7 December 2017: IF he does break up with you because of it, why would you want to be with him anyways? Surely you would want to be with someone who is accepting of whatever flaws you feel you have? ... (read in full...)
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