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Help me find a way to get our problems out in the open

Tagged as: Health, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 January 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, *rbanAngel writes:

How do I speak to my partner about things that I'm slacking on?

Short backstory, my partner and I have been together for a year and a half, we live together, I am disabled and don't work but can still do most things for myself, and he is pretty amazing.

So I always see questions about how to bring up a partners annoyance but how do I bring up something that I feel I'm failing on?

When we moved in together the idea was I'd do most of the housework as he works long days. However due to illness and surgery I haven't been able to do a lot and I feel like a slob and a bit useless. He's never brought it up and always tells me if I can't manage to not worry as I'm ill. But I know he doesn't truly feel that way and of course its annoying for him but I think he feels he cant open up just because of my disability. So how do i get him to open up to me and tell me how he's feeling? And how I can help in anyway?

He's a really relaxed guy and also likes to make light of every situation so having a serious conversation is really difficult.

Any and all advice appreciated!

View related questions: disabled, moved in

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (9 January 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntMaybe he doesn't feel the need to talk about it, he can see you have an illness and that you needed surgery so he is not going to push you, which is great. A lot off men would get fed up and would make you feel bad. It appears in this situation that he is supportive but you are feeling down on yourself and beating yourself up. If you are feeling down and useless then talk to him about how you feel. It is important that you communicate your feelings to him. He may not add much to the conversation but ask him how he feels about everything and ensure him that he can talk to you about things. He probably can see you are struggling and won't want to add to your stress. If there is certain things you can do then maybe just take your time and build up your strength with them.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (7 January 2018):

N91 agony auntHave you actually tried talking to him about it in the past?

There's not much else you can do besides just starting a conversation about it. Tell him how you feel about the situation and ask how he feels, tell him to be completely honest and then move forwards from there.

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