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| | *91's profile:"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Should I go to this concert or not?
Q. Should I go to this concert or not?. I already have a ticket to see my favourite band for a seat for the 7th row in the front centre stalls block. Some security in some venues here let you stand at the front all the way through the concert, and some ...
A. 11 February 2018: I wouldn't waste my time faffing around to be about 3m further in front of where you already are.
Does the coach take you directly to the venue? If not why don't you book an uber to take you the rest of the way?
It's really not that hard to... (read in full...)
Would you date a man you weren't physically attracted to?
Q. Would you date a guy who you aren’t physically attracted to? I met a guy online about 2 wks ago from Tinder. It was like a blind date as he’d only the one picture. We shared a mutual friend so I decided to meet him for a drink. He was nice in pe...
A. 9 February 2018: I know it sounds clichè but I'd base it more on compatibility than looks.
If you get on well and have good chemistry then why not give it a chance and see what happens? What's the worst that could develop? You realise it's not working and decide t... (read in full...)
I cheated and I stay because I think I owe him
Q. (Mod note: based on your follow ups you are in an abusive relationship and require assistance beyond the scope of this site. Please contact the organization provided by the last post. This question is being closed now.) This is going to be a long one...
A. 9 February 2018: I think it's quite obvious you should leave just for the simple fact he is violent. The rest of the post is irrelevant.
Why would you put yourself and children in that danger? Is staying with someone out of pity really worth risking being be... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants a break, what chance is there for us?
Q. So my girlfriend said she needs space to work out what she wants. Now I know that this isn’t a good thing but is it necessarily a bad thing? Obviously I have agreed to give her space for one week. Two points though do I text her at all to make sure ...
A. 8 February 2018: I don't think it sounds too promising in all honesty.
There's a reason she needs this space to work things out and I highly doubt it will be fixed in a week of no communication. I'd prepare yourself for the worst.
If things were going well ... (read in full...)
Is it ok if I want to be on my own? The relationship feels like 80/20 I'm just not getting enough out of it
Q. Hi guys and gals, Just here to seek some advice. i am in a relationship of three years, with a man who i love and care for deeply. we had been friends for a while before we decided to hook up. I'm tired and just not sure where to begin. i hardl...
A. 8 February 2018: Of course it is, why wouldn't it be? It sounds like this relationship has run its course or else you wouldn't be asking this question.
... (read in full...)
Could my FWB's partner's ego have kept him from admitting that he cares about me?
Q. I've been on and off friends with benefits with a guy for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him and I told him in person. he said he likes me but can't commit to me because of his family situation as his family are not speaking to him. During this ...
A. 7 February 2018: if he cared about you, he wouldn't of been having meaningless sex with you for 4 years, you would be his girlfriend.
Simple as that, he is getting sex with no commitment and you've wasted 4 years of your life on it that you could if spent in... (read in full...)
He thinks I am sick and twisted when I ask about hi past, we have no interesting conversation, its just boring.
Q. Hi ,I have been dating this guy for 4 wks seeing him 2-3 times a wk .. meals out , walks in park etc but I feel bored already because he has told me not to ask about the past and he never asks me anything so our conversation is pretty standard ...
A. 7 February 2018: Okay so why are you still dating?
How are you great together if conversation is boring? That doesn't make sense to me.... (read in full...)
I don't accept his reasons for not wanting to date me.
Q. Hi I've been having problems with a guy and I want any advice to understand the way he is acting. I met him online many months ago maybe 5 months ago. It was a dating app so obviously that is the reason people are on there. However he will no...
A. 6 February 2018: Honestly? You sound extremely childish.
YOU told him you didn't want a BF. YOU told him to find another GF. You organised to make plans then YOU made plans with another guy and then you had the cheek to fly off the handle because he's speaking... (read in full...)
He’s blocked me on everything, do I wait to see if he comes back or do I move on?
Q. Hi guys I need your advise. Me and my ex have broken up. A few months ago Due to arguing. But we are still meeting up nearly every week. He kept accusing me of cheating which I would never. He never likes me going out because guys would approach me ...
A. 5 February 2018: Why would you even want this sleazebag?
He cheated on his GF with you, accused you of cheating (which is something that cheaters their self usually do) and spoke to you like dirt. Sounds like a great guy...
If you honestly don't think you ... (read in full...)
What else besides texting my daughter should I do to stop this?
Q. I just witnessed my pregnant daughters husband playing footsies with my other daughter under the table! I texted my single daughter and told her to Stop what she was doing with her sisters husband now. It did not stop completely however. The ...
A. 5 February 2018: I'd tell the pregnant daughter.
If her husband is sleazy enough to try inappropriate contact with his sister in law what else could he be up to?... (read in full...)
After 2 years together I sense that something isn't right
Q. I'm in a two year relationship and although my boyfriend cheated on me, one night stand, at the very start of our relationship, we managed to work through it and we are still together now. We had been together for 4 months, and he confesse...
A. 4 February 2018: Okay so what are your options?
Just go on blindly and hope for the best or listen to your gut instinct and confront the issue? I know which one I'd do.
Of course it's understandable to have trust issues, who wouldn't after being cheated on... (read in full...)
Should I continue being my ex's friend or let him get married and walk away.
Q. My ex and I? were together for 6 years. We had a few ups and downs but we made I.T through. He didn’t like me having a girlfriend because he felt that he should have been the only friend that I? needed. One night my friend and I? attended a concert ...
A. 2 February 2018: Why would you?
What will you gain from this besides feeling crappy that he's marrying someone else? He was the one that said you both need to move forwards so why isn't he letting you? I don't think he has good intentions here, I think he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Girlfriendwants to cut her hair in a style I don't want!
Q. Some background... I am dating an asexual girl. If you don't know what that means, she just isn't sexually attracted to anyone and therefore no sex. which I am fine with because we both love each other. With that in mind, however, I am much more ...
A. 2 February 2018: I have to agree with Honeypie here.
How is this going to work long term? You're resigning yourself to never having sex ever again because your GF doesn't want it? How long do you seriously think you can do that without looking for the satisfac... (read in full...)
I don't want to give my friend false hope
Q. Dear all I just need some advice. A good friend of mine told me she had feelings for me last November. I didn't have those feelings so rejected her and she was upset. It was tough for some weeks but eventually she stopped being upset and we seeme...
A. 1 February 2018: Personally I'd cut contact, she isn't taking no for an answer and the more you speak to each other the more she's going to think things are progressing well.
There's no easy way to do this but you can't be friends with someone when one of the peop... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is mad that I've kept my old wedding dress but he keeps Instagram posts from his exes
Q. Dear agony aunts and uncles I need some opinions please. My bf got upset that I’m saving my old wedding dress but he has tons of posts and lovey dovey comments on his Instagram from 3 ex gfs. Im keeping my dress because it was expensive and pe...
A. 31 January 2018: Edit:
*He wants you to remove something that bothers him*... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is mad that I've kept my old wedding dress but he keeps Instagram posts from his exes
Q. Dear agony aunts and uncles I need some opinions please. My bf got upset that I’m saving my old wedding dress but he has tons of posts and lovey dovey comments on his Instagram from 3 ex gfs. Im keeping my dress because it was expensive and pe...
A. 31 January 2018: Big double standard here.
I really don't think not wanting to throw out an old, unused wedding dress is on par with romantic comments from ex partners. He wants you to remove something that bothers you but won't remove something that bothers ... (read in full...)
Partner has been cheating with my best friend for the past five years.
Q. Me and my girlfriend been together for over 9 years, only couple of days ago she dropped a bomb shell on me saying she’s been cheating on me with my best friend, my heart sunk, I was heart broken to be hearing this. We met in 2009 till now we still ...
A. 30 January 2018: Jeez, that's rough man, I'm really sorry to hear you've got so many sleazy backstabbing people in your life.
First things first, kick the GF out, block her contact on everything. Same with the ex best friend and I'd be having serious words wi... (read in full...)
Cheater?? Just your first instinct, not full evaluation!
Q. Ok... Just be straight... Being paranoid, or boyfriend totally cheating on me?? He has a friend contact, saved on his phone as "Wifey S" when questioned, said nothing to worry about, just a female friend.... what are your first thought... backgrou...
A. 30 January 2018: Why would you stay with him if you don't trust him?
Makes absolutely no sense. What's the point in being with someone if you have to act like their prison officer?
Just end it ... (read in full...)
Do I contact him again?
Q. im not sure how to go about this and would rather see it from other peoples views. A year ago i joined a dating site i met up with a guy i had already had 1 date with previously couple of years earlier. we drifted apart and lost contact. Anyway last ...
A. 29 January 2018: He told you he's not interested. It doesn't get clearer than that.... (read in full...)
LDR has been 8 years now he wants me to wait 4 more before marriage
Q. Hi, am a 25 year old arab lady and ive been in a long distance relationship for like 8 years now. I love this guy and we use to have it all clear that marriage is the goal. he recently said that marrige is not possible until 4 more years. he is ...
A. 28 January 2018: Really?
You've wasted 8 years on this guy, are you going to waste 4 more? You could be in a happy relationship with someone that you could actually see on a daily basis and you know, have a relationship with them.
Sounds like this guy is stri... (read in full...)
Should I have waited till he said “I love you”?
Q. I have been seeing my bf for 3 months now. I feel like everything is great. Iv been bursting to tell him i loved him, but wanted to wait until he said it first. The other day i just said it and he said it back. Now i worry that he doesnt actually...
A. 28 January 2018: Firstly, I don't really think you can be in love with another person after 3 months. Unless you've known him for years and only just got together then you barely know the guy let's be honest.
How long is a long time? 3 months is already an extre... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with my sister and I being nude around each other?
Q. I am 20 years old and my sister is 18 years old. Our parents are usually not home: my dad is a long distance 18 wheeler driver and since my sister graduated from high school last year, my mom often goes with our dad. Both my sister and I hat...
A. 28 January 2018: To me, I find it odd yes.
But if you and your sister are comfortable and there's nothing sexual involved with it I suppose you're not affecting anyone else, so I guess do whatever you want.
However if people discovered this, don't be surpris... (read in full...)
I want to know if I am crazy for wanting him back!
Q. I had been with my ex boyfriend for 10 years, we were both leaving in the same city. We met in University . He is 32 and I am 27. After finishing his degree he had been looking for a stable job for a while, he was lucky enough to get two job offers ...
A. 27 January 2018: Yes, you are crazy.
You can't honestly think this guy is a good person surely? He is a lying, cheating, manipulative piece of shit and that's being polite. Why could you possibly love? Him talking to other females whilst lying to you making y... (read in full...)
How to deal with my two-faced work friend?
Q. I have a friend, she’s around 8 years younger than me (24). She has always been very nice to me, though she is quite an intense person generally. She’s incredible career obsessed and focused. She recently moved to my department at work. I noticed ...
A. 26 January 2018: I have to agree, from what you've described I'm not reading any positive or friend like features from this woman. She sounds as two faced as they come.
You're in a work environment, therefore keep it professional, you don't need to indulge ... (read in full...)
How do I detach myself emotionally from him before actually telling him it's over if I decide I don't want this anymore?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for five years. To be honest things haven't been right since the second year. I met my boyfriend on online dating. I was 22 and he was 25. We are now 27 and hes 30.At the time he told me he was in and out of a gardening ...
A. 25 January 2018: Look, this relationship has run its course.
When you start to gain weight and your mental wellbeing takes a hit because of a relationship it is time to call it a day! You are NOT his mother or councillor. Stop letting him treat you that way.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he will break up with me if I move 150 miles away
Q. Iv been dating my boyfriend for a year and i love him so much. But i want to move in with my friend who lives 150 miles away and my boyfriend says if i do he will split up with me and look for someone else. So now i feel trapped because i dont want ...
A. 25 January 2018: I don't think he's being completely unreasonable here. Depending on where you're moving to you could be adding a 1:30/2:30hour travel time onto seeing each other.
Can you both drive? That would cost a lot in fuel for a 300 mile round trip or meeti... (read in full...)
Contact him? Or jut move on?
Q. So, I was texting a guy that I met online for a few days. He asked for my number and we continued texting and then he asked to meet a few days after. We set to meet the next day, Friday at 5:30pm for coffee. Friday comes and I texted him asking him ...
A. 24 January 2018: I agree with Honeypie.
If he can't make the first date then does that bode well for the future? Surely you'd be doing everything you could to make a good first impression. If you proceed with this then id say get ready for a lot of disappoi... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to say I would leave my girlfriend if she became an addict? Is it right of her to say that I can't keep things that might "tempt" her around?
Q. I was having a conversation with my girlfriend the other day about her being upset because her brothers have started smoking weed again. I have no problem with weed. I've smoked it before myself, but apparently for them it starts them on harder ...
A. 24 January 2018: Not at all.
Like you said, everyone has their breaking point and yours is someone being addicted to illegal substances. Her reaction is childish and I'd tell her so.
Refusing to be around someone who's made a conscious choice to let an addict... (read in full...)
I feel I owe this married man an apology
Q. Hello Aunts, I met this man sometime in 2015 when i was on a temporal job in another state in the country. He is Married with a son. When we first met, he was attracted to me and we pretty get along so well. He dropped hints about dating me bu...
A. 23 January 2018: His poor wife is all I can think about here.
Find a man who is SINGLE. Don't intervene in people's marriages. If this guy is unhappy with his wife then let him deal with it, don't try to have sex with people that have wives.
Have some res... (read in full...)
Do I mean anything to him? Why is he with me if he doesn't see a future with us?
Q. Some background: I (27 years old) have been seeing this man (33 years old) for four months now. We get along incredibly well and always have fun together. It is very comfortable when we are around each other and we naturally give off an impressi...
A. 23 January 2018: That answer sounds as clear as mud.
I can understand where he's coming from on wanting to choose the right person, but you also want to know where the hell you stand. I agree that I don't understand why he's dating you if he says you're at diffe... (read in full...)
Is this the end of our relationship
Q. Hi my question is how do you tell a relationship is coming to the end I’ve been with my partner for 5 years in the beginning things were good we moved in together after 2 and half year by this time he still hadn’t told me he loved me lately ...
A. 23 January 2018: You said it yourself, you feel 'MISERABLE'.
Why stay?... (read in full...)
Should I try to reconnect with him now that I live nearby?
Q. In October of last year, while I was on the west coast for a job interview I met a guy from Tinder. His profile said he wasn't looking for a relationship but just looking to meet cool people. We went on a date, had a great time and while it wasn't ...
A. 21 January 2018: Nope, he's not interested.
He got your text, he chose not to respond. You met on a well known hook up site, you reached out again and he ignored you. Anything beyond this is looking desperate.
Move on ... (read in full...)
Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?
Q. Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...
A. 21 January 2018: Just get the ring.
Don't mess about with something that's important to you, you don't need to hear anything else from him. Get the ring back and leave, simple. Then block his number and move on with your life.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend shows no respect
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and we have been practically living together since day one. First off he is a total momma's boy, which I have no problem with. But I know he will never out me first before her. My problem is that he ...
A. 20 January 2018: Yeah you're right he sounds great, what a catch.
He sounds like an absolute disrespectful asshat. Makes you clean up after his mess, won't listen and regularly uses derogatory terms towards you, fantastic.
It's quite simple really, tell him... (read in full...)
How do I get my life back?
Q. Husband found out I have been using tumblr for fandom stuff and threatened to smash my phone. He didn't understand what "reblogging" meant and thought that character pictures were actually real dudes. I'm not allowed to talk to "strange people on ...
A. 20 January 2018: Leave him?
You were going to leave 3 years ago but didn't, why not? Doesn't sound like an ideal guy to spend the rest of your life with. How is he not allowing you to get a job? It's YOUR life. YOU decide what you do in it.
Get a job, st... (read in full...)
Is it mean to ghost someone who is nice but you just don't want to see anymore?
Q. Would it be mean to ghost, a guy who treated you good for over six months, but it just isn't working for you, I don't want to cry when I break up with him in person, so I just want to block him, my girlfriend tells me, that be cruel,not giving him a ...
A. 20 January 2018: Would you like it if someone did it to you?
Have something about you and be honest. If it's not working it's not working, tell him. To just blank him leaving him wondering what he did wrong is nothing short of cowardly. ... (read in full...)
I'm in the relationship because of obligation and chivalry. Should I give her another chance or end it for good?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend on and off for over 3 years. In the beginning she was a work colleague I was hesitant to get with her as although we flirted, played about together and eventually slept together, I wasn't looking for commitment. ...
A. 19 January 2018: It really doesn't sound like you want to be in this relationship or else you wouldn't be asking this question.
If you're not happy that the relationship is public knowledge it sounds like you're pretty ashamed of being with her, so why stick to... (read in full...)
Is "I don't have a boyfriend" an invitation to ask her out?
Q. Is "I don't have a boyfriend" an invitation to ask her out? Basically there's this girl I really like since a couple of years but I but never asked her out because I was unemployed and didn't have a car or a place of my own. Now that I'm better off, ...
A. 19 January 2018: Look at it this way, either ask her out on a date and she responds positively or you just leave it because you don't want to risk the friendship and she ends up dating someone else.
Would you rather of took the plunge and maybe develop things i... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he's ever had sex with her?
Q. Hi guys! Quick question.. I've been having a sexual relationship with a man for almost a year. We used to work together but we now both moved on to other jobs right after the first time we had sex. So here's the thing- Right before we had se...
A. 18 January 2018: I really don't think it's any of your business.
You were work colleagues by the sound of things not best friends, so even if he had slept with her, even though I really doubt he has from your post, why would it matter? What will it change whether ... (read in full...)
Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?
Q. Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...
A. 18 January 2018: It happens, and will keep happening until you find the one for you.
Don't shut yourself off or block people out because of it though. All these experiences you go through toughen your skin and make it easier to weed out the bad ones because ... (read in full...)
How can I find out her feelings for me?
Q. I have a female friend and have a crush on her from last three months. She is having a boyfriend and their marriage talks are going on. But its not confirmed as of now. While talking to her, it seems she is having interest in me.Maybe I am wrong, ...
A. 18 January 2018: If she doesn't want to break up with her BF and she's discussing marriage then it's clear she doesn't have any feelings for you.
Stay clear of their relationship and if you can't control your feelings then you need to distance yourself from thi... (read in full...)
Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?
Q. Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...
A. 17 January 2018: I wouldn't even be trying to work out what happened.
He clearly told you he wanted sex and let's be honest who would invite a girl to their house at that time for anything else? If anything, I think you've had a lucky escape here. Take it from a g... (read in full...)
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