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My ex still loves me but I don't want to hurt my current boyfriend.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 January 2018) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 January 2018)
A age 18-21, * writes:

I suddenly met my ex in a wedding a month ago. He still loves me the same and love me though he know I'm in a new relationship. He always treated me a way far better than my present one. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I'm stuckedin between two. Whom should I choose?

It's really killing me inside.

Am the worst? I can't take the decision .

Please suggest me which gonna make us happy. Please.

View related questions: my ex, wedding

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 January 2018):

Honeypie agony auntAgain, choose neither.

You and your ex-BF didn't work out. There is a reason for that.

Your current and you aren't working out either, so end it. And end it nicely (don't offer friendship or anything like that just let him know you don't feel you two are a good match - because you aren't).

Having relationships means that people will occasionally get hurt. Breaking up can be messy or it can be less messy, but you CAN NOT avoid hurting someone feelings when breaking up.

However if you KEEP dating him (when you don't really want to still date him, you are STRINGING him along and hurting him EVEN more).

You now know WHAT kind of behavior you want in a BF - something closer to how your ex-BF treated you than how your current treats you.

Every relationship teaches us lessons. Yours is to STOP dating guys who isn't treating you right. You don't HAVE to have a BF.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (6 January 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntOP, we've covered it for you: you should be single.

This guy doesn't respect you or treat you well and your ex is an ex, so leave him in the past.

Be single and learn to be happy on your own. Try dating a NEW person in a 6 months.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (6 January 2018):

N91 agony auntBlock them both, move on with your life.

Why dwell on the past?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2018):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'd say thank you fir giving such great suggestions.

I was thinking to break up with my bf because it's not working. What the relation if I'm not happy in it? I still feel connected to my ex. He has treated me always better than my bf.

His respect and love for me is so heart melting. The reason I broke up with my ex was my present one.

Yes what I did was so wrong.

What can I do now.

My present didn't respect me as much he loves.

I don't wanna hurt anyone of them. Either I want to be happy.

I'm stucked here???

Please help me.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 January 2018):

Honeypie agony auntIf your current BF isn't a good BF, then end it.

Then take some time being single. There are PLENTY of more guys out there for you NOT to recycle exes.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (1 January 2018):

N91 agony auntPersonally, I don't think either of these guys are right for you.

An ex is named that for a reason. You broke up because something wasn't working and it's always easy to look back on the relationship and say what you'd change to make it work a second time but in reality that very rarely happens and you'll slip back into the relationship that you couldn't wait to leave before you know it.

As for your current BF, you've already admitted he doesn't treat you very well and to be able to look at someone else and make it doubt your relationship is enough to say it's not got a future.

The whole point of being in a relationship is having a partner that makes you not look at anyone else in a desireable fashion.

I think you should leave both of these guys in the past and work on yourself for a little while before your next relationship.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (1 January 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntIf your ex treated you better than your current one, why stay with your current one?

Also, your ex is an ex for a reason - why did you break up?

You don't say who YOU love either.

It seems as though you need to be single for a while. Boyfriend hopping is never a good idea.

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A male reader, Allumeuse United Kingdom +, writes (1 January 2018):

If he treated you better than your current boyfriend, why did you break up with him?

Did he break up with you? What has changed between you since the decision was made? Why will it work between you now when it didn't before? All these questions need to be answered before you go back to him.

If you do choose to go back to him. Break it off with your current boyfriend first. You can't break up with him without hurting him but it'd probably be less hurtful if you keep your ex out of it when you tell him. Simply say that it isn't working out between you. If you don't want him to push back don't give him a reason that he can work on- he doesn't treat you well enough.

I'll say finally that going back to a failed relationship rarely works, but if you are going to do it, ask yourself the hard questions, if you do decide it's not going to work, I'd probably break up with the new guy anyway- if the new relationship is worse than the old one, and the old one wasn't good enough then it's probably better to have no relationship!

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