Was this rape? Or consensual?
Q. About a year ago, I was in a relationship with a guy who was 21. I was 16 at the time. We had sex, and I consented (well, I couldn't legally give consent, but I said yes). Now that the relationship's been over for a few months, I'm feeling more ...
A. 2 January 2010: No it was not rape. Being pressured to have sex, but then agreeing, and having your clothes ripped from you in a back alley, held down against your will and violated are two different things. I suggest you learn a valuable lesson; men can be ... (read in full...)
Talk to the ex about us? Or let bygones be bygones?
Q. Do I agree to talk with my ex about 'us', or is it better to let bygones be bygones? My ex boyfriend wants to talk to me about ‘us’. I don’t think I am ready to do this, but he is a good person, and I would like to be able to meet him face-to-face...
A. 2 January 2010: Don't fall into the trap of settling for a man because (most of the time) he treats you well and it becomes a sort of "comfort" to have him there. I did this when I was 19 years old and I can tell you at 38 he still did not want kids and now it is ... (read in full...)
How to lose weight fast without hurting yourself?
Q. how to loss weight with out hurting your self to any pills an you are only 16 years old and want to loss it fast and keep it off for life can yall help me i mean its a new year i want to start off right but i need help because i know for sure i ...
A. 2 January 2010: There are no "fast" ways to lose weight. The best committment you can make to yourself is to eat healthy and get some daily exercise. Start by cutting out fast food, and deserts. Eat more fiber (fills you up and keeps you full without adding inches) ... (read in full...)
I'm depressed about what I've done!
Q. My husband and I have been together since I was 14. I'm now 21. Please don't judge and call me a horrible person. I know the mistakes I've made. I've been paying for them everyday. Anyway, back to the problem. When I was 17 I told my husband I ...
A. 2 January 2010: I think you cheated on your husband because you've been with the same man since you were 14 and now you are a woman and you were curious. Sometimes when people marry this young, they're left wondering what they missed out on. Especially if you have ... (read in full...)
Why aren't I happy with a man who gives me everything?
Q. I have been married once, it feel apart 3 years ago and I moved to a new city where i met Angus. We now live together and everything is fairly sweet, he's an artist and I'm in business promoting that kind of thing. Angus cares for me so much, ...
A. 25 December 2009: You mixed love/romance and business. Bad idea. Now, not only does he lack confidence professionally, which is what men relate to about themselves, but his failure has bled over into the bedroom. Granted you may both just have different sexual ... (read in full...)
How do I get my wife to have sex with me more?
Q. what do I do to get my wife of 24 yrs. to have sex with me? I bet we have had sex maybe 30 times in the last 15yrs. Thats over 5400 nights in the same bed. When we first got married she was like a nimpho. She wanted it all the time, now its is her ...
A. 25 December 2009: Sometimes when a woman is with the same man for a long, long time, she simply loses interest in him sexually. She sees him more like a really good friend; a roommate, a family member but having sex with him is like having sex with your brother. ... (read in full...)
My husband ignores me and another man wants me. What should I do?
Q. I have been married for 2 years now, and have been with my husband for 4 years. My husband isnt around much because he in the military. I would love to have him home everyday but i know it's not possible. He has been a good husband but when he's ...
A. 9 December 2009: You made the right decsion sweetie. And hellloooo "soon567" I never said anything about staying in a marriage that isn't working. It was pretty clear in her post that she's already become emotionally involved with another man...Uh, I think that's ... (read in full...)
How do I save my marriage?
Q. [Moderator's Note: 2 questions from the same poster have been merged together] Question 1: i am using this site to hopefully get some q's answered ,my marrage is going bad an i need some advice i am 27 years old have a huband a 5 children my husba...
A. 5 December 2009: You need to both attend couples counseling. Your marriage is slipping away and it sounds like your husband has lost interest in being married. He may be mired down by so much responsibility. (Do you really have 5 kids at your age?) If so that is ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship worth working at?
Q. My boyfriend and I recently went through a bad patch and it seems to have recurred. We had our first arguement, it was only a small thing, I was snappy with him and he ignored me for 5 days until I had had enough of wondering if it was over or ...
A. 5 December 2009: Successful couples know how to love and how to fight and how to recover. Each fight teaches a couple how they will treat each other in the future. Every couple has fights. Big and small. But you can learn things from each fight; where the ... (read in full...)
I feel like crying because I feel nothing is going to happen between us!
Q. Hey, So I like this guy in my class. He's just a friend, but suddenly I've developed feelings for him. I really like him, but i don't know why I like him This much... is it because he's playing hard to get (unintentionally) or I genuinely really l...
A. 5 December 2009: Confidence is very sexy. Stop obsessing and ask him if he wants to go for coffee after class. If he accepts, ask him intelligent questions, find out what his hobbies are, has he lived other places, talk about exotic places you've always wanted to ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to end relationship and pregnancy..help!
Q. I'm so hurt I think its time to end my relationship and not continue my pregnancy. Yesterday was my birthday my co-workers bought me flowers and took me to lunch. My boyfriend did nothing for me. When I got to his house from work he had already ...
A. 27 November 2009: You need to look at these as two completely separate issues and then deal with them as if they have nothing to do with each other.
1. Pretend you went to a sperm bank and you have no idea who the father is. Now think about your baby, and it is YOUR... (read in full...)
Question about masturbating and pregnancy.
Q. Lets say that I was masturbating and I used moisturizing lotion. If I accidentally got some of my pre-cum on the bottle top and my sister used that bottle, could she get pregnant????!!!!! I doubt it but still.......
A. 27 November 2009: God no.... (read in full...)
I performed oral sex on my best friend. Now he won't talk to me!
Q. At the beginning of this year, I met possibly the most amazing guy at my university. We became almost best friends through the course of the year, we did everything together and talked everyday. However, I had fallen really hard for him. Although he ...
A. 27 November 2009: Yes leave him alone, maybe he just needs some space to process what just happened. I think it's interesting that he used to act disgusted by the idea of seeing you as more than just a friend, yet he quickly begged you for oral sex after a few ... (read in full...)
My son's coach doesn't reply to my texts. Is it because I'm older?
Q. [Moderator note: age posted is incorrect. Two questions combined into one.] i met this guy two months ago, at my son game, hes the coach, and little by little ive become interested in him. I told him that i though he was sexy and that i love his...
A. 27 November 2009: How much older are we talkng?....35?....45?...it could be the age thing but since I don't know how old you are it's hard to tell. During one of your texts did he mention anything about being involved with someone already? It could be and he's ... (read in full...)
My husband ignores me and another man wants me. What should I do?
Q. I have been married for 2 years now, and have been with my husband for 4 years. My husband isnt around much because he in the military. I would love to have him home everyday but i know it's not possible. He has been a good husband but when he's ...
A. 27 November 2009: Affairs are not the answer and can actually cause you to end up staying in a marriage with a man you no longer love, because you feel guilty about cheating on him, so you begin to delude yourself thinking maybe you should stay and "try harder". ... (read in full...)
Once upon a time...
Q. i have been married for 26 years have 3 grown children. My husband has always been a little flirter I think everyone does a little. We don't do anything together and are not really getting along very well any more, never talk, all that stuff. I ...
A. 15 November 2009: Does he spend time at home, or does he make excuses to work late night after night? Does he make frequent "business" trips that involve overnight stays? These are all signs that he's having an affair either with someone from work, associated with ... (read in full...)
Once upon a time...
Q. i have been married for 26 years have 3 grown children. My husband has always been a little flirter I think everyone does a little. We don't do anything together and are not really getting along very well any more, never talk, all that stuff. I ...
A. 15 November 2009: Does he spend time at home, or does he make excuses to work late night after night? Does he make frequent "business" trips that involve overnight stays? These are all signs that he's having an affair either with someone from work, associated with ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend maintains contact with her ex. Should I confront her?
Q. My girlfriend of four months is still friends with her ex. Not only does she still talk to him, she is still friends with his family. His aunt cuts her hair for free. She visits his family's restaurant where he works and gets food for free. ...
A. 15 November 2009: The question you have to ask is, did she break up with him, or did he break up with her? On the surface their friendship seems harmless. So maybe it really is. On the other hand, if he broke up with her she may still be very much in love with ... (read in full...)
Serious sexual dysfunction without a cause!
Q. What can you do if your husband is permanently, sexually off? It started few years ago. In our early 40's. Now, we tried everything therapy, medical investigations but there is no answer, why is he the way he is. No medical cause, and not clear wh...
A. 15 November 2009: Many people who have been married for a long time simply lose their attraction to each other. Usually it's one or both of the people in the marriage. In your case it's your husband. He may still love you, but does not feel any sexual chemistry for ... (read in full...)
How do I get my guy friends to stop seeing me as one of the guys?
Q. i'm 16. ok so heres my problem, i got lots of guy friends. i got more guy friends then girls. and well since i hang with mostly guys, my guy friends dont see me as someone there date. they treat me like one of the guys, and well now i dont really ...
A. 15 November 2009: Wear pink. Put on make up. Show a little clevage. They'll figure it out.... (read in full...)
My husband hates my cooking!!! Help!
Q. Hi, i need some idea or any advice. my husband is very difficult or complicated man most of the time in anything but specially with food. im his second wife. he was separated to his 1st wife of course i dont know the reason. but i do know his ex ...
A. 15 November 2009: What exactly is it that you're doing wrong when you cook for your husband? I was once married to a guy that made me feel inadequate in the kitchen because he'd never tell me he liked anything I cooked, he'd just eat it and that was all. But ... (read in full...)
My husband ignores me and another man wants me. What should I do?
Q. I have been married for 2 years now, and have been with my husband for 4 years. My husband isnt around much because he in the military. I would love to have him home everyday but i know it's not possible. He has been a good husband but when he's ...
A. 15 November 2009: Why don't you ask your husband if he really wants to be married because his behavior suggests he does not. Perhaps the marriage is not right for either of you, and it will be a mutual decision for you both to move on in life. See what he says and ... (read in full...)
Why do we watch our loved ones sleep?
Q. What do you think is the reason why people will watch their loved one sleep? I think it's sweet, but I was wondering why they do that?...
A. 13 November 2009: Because they are vulnerable when they sleep. It's the one time you can really observe them without a fight or an explanation. And there's something peaceful about watching them sleep, like a stolen moment only can enjoy. ... (read in full...)
So in love, must we part?
Q. I love my guy very much. He loves me very much. After three years he is not even ready to live with me and I am ready to get married. Today I am crying at my house and he is crying at his. because how can two people break up who are so right for...
A. 19 October 2009: What explanation does he give you? Surely he's not still "waiting for the right one" at his age?...Seems puzzling to me if he loves you the way you say he does, I don't know why he's holding back. There must be more. You should ask him to explain ... (read in full...)
Started as a purely sexual relationship. Now she has feelings and I want to bail!
Q. I'm in a sexual relationship with a woman that had stated from the beginning that all that she was looking for was for fulfilment. OK, with me. What man will turn a foxy woman down? Not many!! Anyway we have been having our weekend get together-s at ...
A. 19 October 2009: You should ask yourself if you would miss her once you've pulled the plug? Not miss the sex, but the woman in general. Because if so, then maybe you should re-think your angle. Is your only reason because you live so far apart? Why don't you tell ... (read in full...)
I'm not that girly, but I want to become more girly.
Q. i'm 16 and in my second year of high school. ok so i'm not that girly, but i want to become more girly. i always wear a black shirt and blue skinny jeans. my shoes are black converse and i wear lots of black eyeliner and my hair is covering one of ...
A. 19 October 2009: Go to a hairstylist and have her change your hairstyle. If you look through some of the books there, you'll find a nice hairstyle that looks flattering on you, maybe lighten your hair, or add highlights to look less "goth" and more girlie. Then buy ... (read in full...)
Tips on stressed out girlfriend?
Q. So question- When my girlfriend is stressed out, she usually gets pretty cranky. It's really difficult to talk to her, and the usual consolation to typical complaints (I've been working forever, or I'm gonna fail these tests) don't work. Not ...
A. 19 October 2009: The next time she comes home and she seems stressed out (you know what the signs probably are) just say, "I'm gonna give you some space without me bugging you, if you want to talk I'll be in the living room (or other room) otherwise I'm going to let ... (read in full...)
Will I grow out of being jealous?
Q. well.. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly two years now.. We're both seventeen. I love him very much and I can't imagin life without him. I get on on with him better than anyone else.. Everythings perfect except one thing! In recent months I ...
A. 18 October 2009: If he's lied to you, especially where other girls are concerned then subconsciously you are wondering what else is he lying about? You are jealous because you feel he is hiding things from you, things that could involve other girls and this ... (read in full...)
Why would he say something and take it back?
Q. Hi, i really need someone to help me with this as i'm not sure what to think. ok, here goes! I recently become friends with my ex, he was having trouble with the relatonship he was in, i listened to his problems and helped him through it. I kn...
A. 18 October 2009: Not only should you forget about it, you should also forget about him. He is with someone else and if your relationship was that long ago the two of you should've stopped communication a l-o-n-g time ago so you could both focus on your present lives ... (read in full...)
Does he mean he still loves me or was the comment past tense?
Q. My husband and I are separated and we were having an indepth e-mail conversation, so I asked Do you Love me? He replied: I always did... even though I had a terrible way of showing it. Does that mean past tense - he doesn't love me now. ...
A. 18 October 2009: Just ask him only this time pick up the phone or go see him in person. It's much better to discuss things like this face to face. So much is lost in an e-mail message, you can't hear the tone of his voice, or see his eyes light up, you can't read ... (read in full...)
Do lack of actions show lack of care?
Q. I have a question, if someone that claims he loves you but then never calls, writes, or does anything to initiate contact, do you back off???? Very confused and told that it is your not believing in the love or trusting that is the fault. But ...
A. 18 October 2009: He either has great difficulty with intimacy (and communication is part of an intimate relationship) or he is simply juggling more than one woman and trying to keep you at a distance while he entertains the other one. You cannot build a good, solid ... (read in full...)
Is my jealousy pushing him away?
Q. Dear cupid: I went on my first date with my boyfriend three months ago. During the four first weeks we had great time while getting to know each other. I was always happy and smiling and he told me that he will always like me as long as I remain...
A. 18 October 2009: I think he set you up for this failure. That's like asking someone what their worst fear is, and when they tell you they are afraid of the dark, you turn off all the lights and then become furious because they are scared. This is what he has done ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he have let go of his ex the day he said "I do"?
Q. I have been married for almost 1 year, actually it will be 1 year on the 31st. We have a 15 month old daughter and have been together for a bit more than two years. Two days ago I woke up and realized by husband wasn’t in bed. He had gotten up early ...
A. 18 October 2009: There is an old saying that women marry their Dads and men marry their Mom's. Aside from the creepy factor that statement conjures up, we do tend to lean toward the familiar and men, especially those who are close to their Mothers may ... (read in full...)
Tips on stressed out girlfriend?
Q. So question- When my girlfriend is stressed out, she usually gets pretty cranky. It's really difficult to talk to her, and the usual consolation to typical complaints (I've been working forever, or I'm gonna fail these tests) don't work. Not ...
A. 16 October 2009: Give her some space when she's acting stressed out. Tell herthat you're there when/if she wants to talk, and then remove yourself for awhile. Let her work through her problems on her own; she might want to work out to burn off her stress, or she ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he have let go of his ex the day he said "I do"?
Q. I have been married for almost 1 year, actually it will be 1 year on the 31st. We have a 15 month old daughter and have been together for a bit more than two years. Two days ago I woke up and realized by husband wasn’t in bed. He had gotten up early ...
A. 16 October 2009: When I read your post it wasn't clear how the two of you met, and how you came to be a couple. One thing comes to mind -- were you the rebound girl in his life, that ended up getting pregnant, so he married you because he thought it was the right ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or did I over-react? Opinions please...
Q. I am pregnant - about 14 wks. Last night the father of the baby who I dumped 5 hrs prior - just after work, for not taking care of romance and for ringing me less and never having any time for me anymore. I felt he could have been using me so I ...
A. 16 October 2009: Yes I think he was seeing her romantically (or sexually at least) and he got caught. He had no explanation to give you because what would be the point? He was busted. She hung up on you because she was pissed about hearing that he had been ... (read in full...)
How do you know when someone is for you?
Q. Hello guys, I have kind of a gerenal question. How do you know when someone is right for you/ the right love? I know you have to work for love but how hard. Are you suppose to work really hard or is that just a hint it's not the right love...
A. 16 October 2009: You know it's right when you enjoy each other's company, when you have enough in common to share your interests with each other, but enough differences to each be an individual (not a clone of one another); you know how to fight to resolve issues, ... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my middle school principal!
Q. Okay here's the deal... I turned 18 three months ago, but I am a senior in high school still. My middle school principal and I got to talking again and we have feelings for each other. My question is.. would we be able to sleep together even t...
A. 16 October 2009: OMG, I see disaster in your future.... (read in full...)
Why should I save my virginity when other people don't?
Q. Why should I save my virginity when others people don't ? and why would I wait for the right girls in case the right girl could be a loose one as well. I can't see any points of waiting for me. even my ex-girlfriend when she was with me she siad she...
A. 16 October 2009: I don't necessarily think you have to save it for "the right one" but do wait until you are in love with someone so the experience of your first time will at least feel special. Even if the relationship doesn't last (and it probably won't) it will ... (read in full...)
A check into his emails brings up many inappropriate texts between him and his ex!
Q. What to do? Last night in a fit of temper following an argument with my boyf, i decided to go through his SMS inbox behind his back. at the time i justified it to myself by telling myself it was ok because he had done this to me in the past, and...
A. 26 September 2009: You could think of a clever way to bring it up out of the blue..."Do you ever hear from X anymore?"...If he says "yes" then listen to his answer. If he volunteers the info about their messages, it will give you the opptunity to tell him that you ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about the text messages she's getting from this guy?
Q. Should I be concerned with flirtatious text messages that my wife gets from an old co-worker? My wife gets flirtatious text messages from someone she used to work with. This person left the company she is with about 12 months ago and they were fr...
A. 26 September 2009: Your wife is having an emotional affair with this guy, and even if she didn't sleep with him, she is entertaining sexual content with another man and that is something that violates trust and fidelity in a marraige. I would question what is the ... (read in full...)
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