A
female
age
41-50,
*heunknown82
writes:[Moderator's Note: 2 questions from the same poster have been merged together]Question 1: i am using this site to hopefully get some q's answered ,my marrage is going bad an i need some advice i am 27 years old have a huband a 5 children my husband is25 years old an dosentt show any intrest in me anymore, i go to bed cring every night cause he pushes me away i am hurting an very confused an lost my drepression has worsened scence i started noticing his actions an sings towards me i dont know what he thinks or anything cause he never wants to talk... so thats why i am here i wanna save ower relationship but wear do i startan what do i do?Question 2: i have been married for 2 year an its been rocky off an on, now i do everything to plase him an all he does is push me away and tell me i am too irratating leave him alone he never want to have sexy at all and he dosent couddle me in bed at night any more he has totally lost intressed in me an we never talk he always say there is nothing to talk about or can we talk to marrow, we have kids together,and thats stressfull, then i lost my job and thats more stressfull he very seldem says he loves me what do i do is he cheating on me he shows intreset in his friends and is always looking at other weman,he is screative an sneaky he dosent tell me everything so wear do i go from here please help me out and give me some advice ... please Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (5 December 2009):
 You need to both attend couples counseling. Your marriage is slipping away and it sounds like your husband has lost interest in being married. He may be mired down by so much responsibility. (Do you really have 5 kids at your age?) If so that is enormous!!! You're both very young and you've gotten in over your head in my opinion. You need to start scheduling some alone couple time in order to revive your marriage. Send the kids packing one night a week and then surprise your husband with a quiet, empty house and a nice dinner. Use the time wisely. Tell him how much you appreciate all the work he does, and the long hours. He is making huge sacrifices in order to provide for his family and he may feel unappreciated. In turn, dress nice for him, do your hair and make-up (alot of Moms forget to look like a woman and men quickly lose interest when they have to come home to a haggled womanin stained sweats and a baggy t-shirt.) It's going to take time to rekindle your marriage, so don't expect overnight results. From this point on, do what you can to cut the family budget since there's only one income. Praise your husband, and don't forget to flirt with him occasionally. He is probably feeling overwhelmed and somewhat invisible. You may want to take a parttime job if you can, which will improve your self esteem and contribute to the family expenses. And if I were you, I'd invest in some reliable birth control!!! One more kid and that could be the straw that breaks his back. Good luck.
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