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Why should I save my virginity when other people don't?

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2009) 10 Answers - (Newest, 16 October 2009)
A male Russian Federation age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Why should I save my virginity when others people don't ?

and why would I wait for the right girls in case the right girl could be a loose one as well. I can't see any points of waiting for me. even my ex-girlfriend when she was with me she siad she wanted to wait but when we broke up she lost it to a guy who treats her very badly.

see ? it doesn't make sense at all if people say I should keep it, they should keep it as well.

I'm 17 by the way it's old enough.

View related questions: broke up, ex girlfriend, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Old Guy, Thank you very much !

Well she said it was right at the time and it hurts when you broke up.

by the way Am I missing out or Is she taking advantage ?

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A female reader, Anonny United Kingdom +, writes (16 October 2009):

Do it for yourself! - Not for anyone else!!

Unfortunately though life isn't like a romantic fairytale!And virgins don't necessarily find virgins!

Like you - I stayed a virgin for a long time but when I decided to loose it - it was to a guy who looking back was really wrong for me and I regret it happening now every day of my life!

Hope you will be luckier than me!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009):

Your g/f did something dumb, and it sounds like she regrets it. Hardly sounds like an example you want to follow, no? It doesn't make you a loser in any way -- how could a mistake on her part make you a loser?

If you read old posts on this site, you'll find lots from people who are in their 20s and even 30s who are still virgins. If it's important to you that your first time be with a virgin, it will be possible. Really though what's important is not that the girl be a virgin too -- it's that you care for each other in a way that makes your first time special.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

But why did she have sex earlier than me ? Will I find a virgin if I stay a virgin ?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 October 2009):

Honeypie agony auntThat is like saying :"If everyone else jumps off a bridge why shouldn't you?"

If your moral compass, upbringing, religious conviction whatnot tells you to wait til you find someone to share this with then don't compromise yourself. Don't sell yourself short.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009):

what other people don't want to tell you is their regret. It some how vindicatates them if they had a bad experience, to entice others to do the same so they can say....hey, I didn't know, everyone does it. They will remember their bad experience for the rest of their life and envy people that had a good time.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

But I'm hurt because she lost it ! It makes me like "Hahaha I'm loser she wanted to have sex with other people not me" and she's 15 so she doesn't know how it feels to be waiting and jealous.

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (16 October 2009):

Basschick agony auntI don't necessarily think you have to save it for "the right one" but do wait until you are in love with someone so the experience of your first time will at least feel special. Even if the relationship doesn't last (and it probably won't) it will at least be a pleasant memory in your rite of passage. I wish you the best.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009):

What other people do is irrelevant. It's how you choose to live your life that's important.

For some people, virginity isn't any big deal, and they don't seem to mind tossing it on a whim. Other people do it that way and end up regretting it.

Personally I think a first time with someone with whom you are deeply, madly in love, who you've come to know very well, and with whom you've petted enough to know what works for them, would be an infinitely more satisfying & happy experience than a quick tumble with a near-stranger in the back of a car.

Sex at its worst is little more than masturbation. At its best it's a transcendent experience. You can't know the difference until you've experienced both, so you have to take the "wait for the right person" argument on faith. Or not -- it's your call.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 October 2009):

Imagine if you lose it to someone who then hurts you? You'll feel really bad. Spend time getting to really know a girl, let her know you and go from there. Better to wait for the right one, than waste it on the wrong one. Take your time.

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