Our relationship became sexual and now we're arguing. How can we fix this?
Q. p /> I'm having some problems with my girlfriend. We've recently started having sex... or atleast trying to. We aren't virgins, but we are having some problems. We've tried having sex twice now. On both occasions there have been distractions...
A. 16 August 2009: I think it's still the "enviornment" you are trying to have sex in -- her parents house, with them and her siblings nearby. That's alot of stress; performance plus being super quiet. I'm sure you if you two can be alone and let things happen ... (read in full...)
Is this the start of any affair?
Q. I am confused about whether I am in a frienship or the beggining of a relationship as I have lost confidence and self- esteem . I am divorced with three children after my husband walked out on us. I have known a this guy as a friend for three years ...
A. 11 August 2009: Men always tell women they want to be friends and then 'whoops' they end up in bed together after going out for a friendly drink or something. I think most of them can't even be honest with themselves and their true motives when they strike up these ... (read in full...)
I feel as though marrying her was a huge mistake. Help!
Q. I'm a 39 yrs of age, a barber and married. I've done 5 years in prison. I moved to sc and met a young lady and as of this year married her. at times I feel as if that's been the biggest mistake of my life. she's very demanding, controlling, and ...
A. 11 August 2009: I think your choices are simple enough; Marital counseling or divorce. You either work on the marriage together, which means she has to figure out why she's treating you the way she does, and you have to figure out how to put yourself back into the ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous! He spent more on his ex than me! How do I shake these feelings off?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend went into debt buying things for his ex. But he doesn't spend very much money on me- he did learn and grow wiser from having made so many mistakes from that relationship but I am still mildly jealous that she got him to spend...
A. 11 August 2009: Been there sister! When I first became involved with my b/f I felt like I was always living in his ex-girlfriend's shadow. Even though they'd broken up 2 years before, he was not over her, and still hoping she'd come back. As time went by and we ... (read in full...)
Break up after 7 years...will I ever get over him?
Q. ive just finished with the love of my life of 7 years, my question is how do i get over this? will i ever stop thinking about him? should i stop all contact as we still talk online ...
A. 11 August 2009: I am so sorry! This must be a horrible time for you. Getting over it will take alot of time; it's different for each of us. You don't have to stop all contact but it may prolong the healing process because each time you talk, you will be secretly ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because apparently, I didn't communicate enough! Is this a good enough reason?
Q. I'm not quiet sure of what my question is but was hoping some people can shed some light on this scenario so i can understand things better to move on. recently a boyfriend of 3 1/2 months broke it off with me, out of the blue. it has been the best...
A. 11 August 2009: I think his excuse is really code for "Your not my type" he just worded it differently. (Talk about not being able to communicate). Your relationship is relatively new. during the first few months of a relationship, people figure out if they mesh ... (read in full...)
Can't get that "other man" off my mind! I'm married and I want to just get on with my life!
Q. I have been with my husband for several years and I am very much in love with him still. Although we have been going through some tough times, I've always known that I want to be with him. I am going through a really hard time right now because I ...
A. 11 August 2009: Omigorsh, the what ifs. If I could turn back the hands of time I would re-do just one moment in my life; one pivotal point where I wish I could've slapped myself until I stopped thinking the way you do. Once you allow yourself to entertain these ... (read in full...)
She doesn't give great handjobs...how can I tell her?
Q. Ladies i need some advice i don't want to upset my girlfriend but i don't like the way she gives me handjobs she never pulls my foreskin all the way back to stimulate my bellend my ex did this and felt great any ideas of how you would tackle this ...
A. 11 August 2009: Hand jobs are difficult. But can she give good blow jobs? Now that is a question worth answering. If she can give good head, forget the hand. xoxox... (read in full...)
Why would a man hide the fact that he has a girlfriend?
Q. When a man is dating or involved in a serious relationship, would'nt a man talk about the woman he was involved with, when he talks about what he did for the weekend or his vaction plans for the summer??? Or does a man with-hold that information ...
A. 11 August 2009: I think anytime a man entertains the attention of a female without mentioning he has a girlfriend is a bad sign. It tells me he wants the opportunity to still play around should he choose to do so. This is typical of men who are in newly formed ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my jealousy so I don't lose her?
Q. Hello all, Its hard for me to admit this but i can be a very jealous person. Especially when it comes to other guys and my girlfriend. Now im only 15, about to turn 16, and i no im gonna get some people who are gonna think im not in love with thi...
A. 11 August 2009: So tell me again, why is she hanging out with other guys if she's so into you?.......... (read in full...)
Why are my guy friends being hateful towards my boyfriend?
Q. My two best friends (who are guys) all-of-a-sudden started being very hateful to my boyfriend. I don't know why, I am clueless. This isn't anything new. We've been dating for three years. Could it possibly be the age difference (of nine years)?...
A. 8 August 2009: Why don't you find some female girlfriends to hang out with instead? I've found that it's almost always impossible to keep opposite sex friendships from going off track once you become involved with someone you really care about. There will either ... (read in full...)
Why are my guy friends being hateful towards my boyfriend?
Q. My two best friends (who are guys) all-of-a-sudden started being very hateful to my boyfriend. I don't know why, I am clueless. This isn't anything new. We've been dating for three years. Could it possibly be the age difference (of nine years)?...
A. 8 August 2009: Why don't you find some female girlfriends to hang out with instead? I've found that it's almost always impossible to keep opposite sex friendships from going off track once you become involved with someone you really care about. There will either ... (read in full...)
Share your story: Have you ever regretted ending it?
Q. Have you ever broken up with your boyfriend / girlfriend because you thought you no longer loved them and then later realized that you made a mistake? Have you had this experience? Were you successful in getting back together? Please share your ...
A. 8 August 2009: I don't know how much time has passed since you broke things off so what you're feeling might just be part of the healing process. The other thing you didn't say, was whether or not your ex is now involved with someone else. If he is, leave him ... (read in full...)
Our relationship became sexual and now we're arguing. How can we fix this?
Q. p /> I'm having some problems with my girlfriend. We've recently started having sex... or atleast trying to. We aren't virgins, but we are having some problems. We've tried having sex twice now. On both occasions there have been distractions...
A. 8 August 2009: If you are trying to have sex at her parents house, while her siblings are just down the hall, at 1:30 AM with the lights out, being so quiet you can't even enjoy a good loud orgasm, that tells me you're both too young to engage in sex. Sex should ... (read in full...)
The girl I like is seeing someone else, would it be weird to contact her occasionaly?
Q. Recently- A girl found out that I was interested in her, but she was already seeing someone else. Will it weird her out if I still occasionally send a text/ leave a post on facebook? Should I talk to her less or not at all? Help me out please! ...
A. 8 August 2009: You should not contact her. If she later breaks up with him, then have at it.... (read in full...)
Is it selfish of me to be friends with a married man I'm seeing, if we can't be more?
Q. hi i have been seeing this guy for 4 months now and has recently gone back to his own country (spain he is english) to live with his wife and daughter however he has told me how bad things are between him and his wife she beets himquite often an...
A. 8 August 2009: If you continue to keep in touch you are preventing yourself from moving forward and meeting someone who is NOT married to someone else. You are also keeping him tethered to you emotionally, and not able to focus on the his family, the thing he ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he remove her from his contact list?
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 8 months now. he broke off the relationship with his former girlfriend before we met, but because it was winter he still had his motorcyle and car stored in her garage. that bothered me because i felt there was ...
A. 8 August 2009: Yes he should remove her from his contact list and the excuse he's giving you is total bullshit. But take heart, he will eventually get over her, it just may take longer than you want. I have been with my b/f for almost 5 years and we still have ... (read in full...)
One guy is cruel..the other guy is so kind! Why am I so torn as to which one to choose?
Q. I've been stuck in a serious dilemma between 2 guys. One is the sweetest, kindest and most unselfish man who would do anything for me and would make an unbelievable husband/father. The other is selfish, unmotivated and somewhat cruel at times. ...
A. 8 August 2009: This is a problem many of us have and it goes something like this; The nice guys make it too easy for us it which sort of takes all the work out of it for us. Translation: boredom. The other guy is a bit of a mystery and doesn't treat you as well, ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man keeps going back to his manipulative ex?
Q. Dear Cupid, What does it mean when a man keeps getting back together with his ex even though they have a very strained relationship. She is very manipulative and makes him feel guilty for leaving her and bad because she says she has no one else ...
A. 17 July 2009: Some women just have a "hold" on a guy, I don't know why. Maybe he thinks he can rescue her, make her change, better herself. Maybe she gives good head. But this is a tough battle for YOU to fight. It's his choice. If he can't let go, you should. ... (read in full...)
For the Ladies: What do you mean when you say, "Hey, you're cute!"
Q. Dear Ladies and Girls, Would you please enlighten me, and many other men no doubt, as to what you ACTUALLY mean when you say to a guy the following:- "Hey you're cute". Thanks. ...
A. 17 July 2009: Well I haven't actually used that term since I was 20, but I think it's her way of flirting with you. Take it as a compliment.... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my work collegagues?
Q. sorry for the length I work in a hospital, where I am older then a lot of my colleagues, they are in their mid 20s - early 30s. I get along with most ppl and say say hi and how are you? I almost always say hi when i start my shift to everyon...
A. 17 July 2009: My guess is, for some reason they don't see you as "one of them" and age has nothing to do with it. Maybe you need to joke around more with them, tell them something funny or share a funny thing one of the patients did or said. Maybe since you're ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is having an imaginary affair!!! What to do?!
Q. maybe he didn't hide this from me too well because it truly isn't a big deal? for the last year, my husband has been acting increasingly distant from me. it got to the point where i started to feel like he was maybe having an affair. i snoope...
A. 15 July 2009: Could it be that he is trying to make you jealous by acting like he's got a woman on the side? If that is possible, you must ask yourself why he would do this? Is he feeling neglected by you in some way? And he's hoping if you become jealous ... (read in full...)
I can't let her go or move forward
Q. So the happiest day in my life came when the woman I have been in love with for 5 years decided she wanted to start a relationship with me as soon as I moved to the area. One month later, a week before I moved, she informed me that she had decided ...
A. 15 July 2009: You have been in love with her for 5 years but you never once mentioned what her feelings for you were or what your actual relationship was like? It sounds like you were friends and you fell in love but she didn't. Then you assumed that since she ... (read in full...)
I'm so angry at myself after falling for a womanizers lies
Q. I have been struck by the womanizers arrow. I am so pinned up against the wall I feel my whole mind has been taken hostage. I am so angry at myself! Were both married. Obviously he led me to believe he was the victim of no sex in his marriage ...
A. 15 July 2009: Yes you do. But you can still leave with some dignity in tack if you go now. Then I would recommend you consider marriage counseling because this guy may have hooked you with the no sex marriage line, but what's your excuse? If you have any ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend left me after a mishap during sex
Q. my girlfriend of one month left me 5 days ago cause 2 weeks ago during rough sex I must have did something to her cervix now she cant have sex with me may be more o f a problem but she wants to leave also or shes confused cause she said she cant be ...
A. 15 July 2009: Well my God, what did you do to her man?.....Did she have to see a doctor about this?...Rough sex should not result in a trip to the ER. If it does that's a problem. She may believe that in order to stay with you, and keep you happy she will have ... (read in full...)
My virgin GF cried during foreplay, is this my fault?
Q. My girlfriend told me she going to give her virginity (I didn’t pressure her and I’m not a virgin). We waited until my birthday to do it just to make a bit more fun. She acted really nervous around me. When the day come she was really freaked. I ...
A. 15 July 2009: The fact that the two of you were talking about this, tells me she was already feeling pressured. You may not have intentionally pressured her, but it's there in underlying ways. She may feel like she has to give in to keep you because if she ... (read in full...)
Venting relationship troubles
Q. Where to start? I am with this girl and she is 8 weeks pregnant with my child.She lives almost 2 hours away and neither of us has transportation at the moment.I broke up with her the morning of the 4th because she wanted to go home.I don`t have ...
A. 15 July 2009: She sounds young and extremely unsettled in life, even though she is carrying your child. I think you are trying to do the right thing, but I am not convinced she wants you to. I don't think she's ready to settle down with you and be faithful. If ... (read in full...)
Lack of trust on both sides of our relationship
Q. my question is this: I had an affair with a married woman that became much more to both of us. This was 7 years ago. I am now married and my wife knows that i have tried and sometimes managed to contact this woman. Last week was the last straw. ...
A. 15 July 2009: Try counseling. You both have done some damage to your relationship. If you want this to work out you need a "do-over" point where both of you work on being faithful and putting the bullshit aside and that includes outside friends that are getting ... (read in full...)
Should I contact him again?
Q. I have always wanted to get back in contact with a guy that I went to college with. It has been 7 years now and I ran across his parents number and his sister. I found the courage to call him after I saw that he was on another social network site ...
A. 15 July 2009: Yup, leave it alone and let him make the next move. After all you've done to contact him anything more will make you look desperate. He may be involved with someone else or just getting over a relationship and that's why he's avoiding you. Don't ... (read in full...)
We haven't had sex in 12 years, WHY?
Q. My husband does not want to have sex. I am not unattractive, active and in very good shape for my age. We have not had sex in 12 years. When I ask him why he says he will try but never does. If he has a problem with ED would he tell me? If he does ...
A. 15 July 2009: I'd be willing to bet it's one of two things: He's embarrassed to seek help over this problem, (and embarrassed to talk to you about it as well) or he's getting it somewhere else. Only you know him well enough to decide which one applies. But a ... (read in full...)
The guy I'm seeing denied my facebook friend request!
Q. I've been casually seeing a guy for eight months. We had been friends on myspace (he added me), but I deleted my profile so about a month ago I tried to add him on facebook. He denied my request! He has over 100 friends so clearly he's not that ...
A. 15 July 2009: Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you deleted your profile. He may have taken that to be a sign that you were not interested in him, or had found someone else. The best way to find out is to ask him. If you don't like his answer, ... (read in full...)
He's made no plans to see me, he leaves in 3 days
Q. It's years since I've been in the early stages of dating, so I'm not sure if I'm right or wrong to feel annoyed right now. I've been dating this guy for 2 -3 months now, not too seriously (as in we haven't slept together or talked about whether ...
A. 15 July 2009: I don't think your relationship with him is really going anywhere. Perhaps you were more interested in him, and than he was. I think you should look for someone else before your heart gets in too deep. Give him the boot.... (read in full...)
My wife of 11 years is looking for her own apartment
Q. My wife of 11 years told me today that she was looking for an apartment. she says that she need some space and some time to know if she can be happy on her own. we have 4 kids which makes the even harder. she says that she doesn't want to get a ...
A. 15 July 2009: I think you should give her some space. If she's just having an identity crisis, it will pass and things will go back to normal and hopefully she will re-center herself with you again. If it's more than that, you may have to face some tough ... (read in full...)
We've been married 29 years and never fight, Is that common?
Q. me and my husand (mod note: named removed! please do not include full names in your posts) have been married for 23 years and been together for 29 years and i want to know if its common if we never fight i mean we talk about problems but really we ...
A. 15 July 2009: You both probably love and respect each other, so even when you don't see eye-to-eye it doesn't have to end in a shouting match. On the other hand, just make sure you aren't avoiding conflict simply because you lack the passion to speak out, or say ... (read in full...)
I need closure, should I write him a letter?
Q. I wrote a post on here yesterday about my boyfriend cheating on me. I'm still extremely hurt by this as it is all new and fresh. He won't take my phone calls because he is so incredibly angry that I ended things with him. I guess he expected ...
A. 15 July 2009: Write the letter. It will help you heal and perhaps force him to see himself through someone else's eyes. In this case, it's the best way to tell someone how you feel without argument or interruption. After that, you should move on. He's done ... (read in full...)
What else can I do to finally move on?
Q. What else can I do to finally move on? Two years ago, I fell in love with a guy at work and things started moving towards a relationship. Long story short, he ended up being a player who used me, only talks to me for sex, ignoring me otherwise and...
A. 3 July 2009: Stop being available for conversations or anything else. Delete him from your facebook. Avoid his calls and e-mails. In time you will heal and get past this hurt. But until you cut him off completely you will never see the great guy that's just ... (read in full...)
Last chance for my marriage if I don't learn to control my emotional blow-ups!
Q. I need advice at controlling my emotional blow ups, it is tearing my family apart. My husband wont deal with me bc i am so emotional and i don't know how to control it. Today i flipped out on him for no real reason. I just freaked! For the most p...
A. 25 April 2009: I think your problem could be hormonal. You know what they say about pre-menstral women being a little irrational and sensitive around that time of month. Well, what if your hormones are whacked out, which makes you like this more than just once a ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend her boyfriend tried it on with me?
Q. I was staying at a friend's house after a long night of drinking, she went to bed and passed out leaving me and her boyfriend together. We were casually talking and all of a sudden he tries to kiss me. I had bruises up my arms where he was hol...
A. 22 April 2009: Tell her exactly what you told us. Do it privately and be prepared for her reaction. But stand your ground. When she gets over the shock and anger and betrayal she's going to feel, she will be glad you shared it with her.... (read in full...)
An honest woman's opinion needed.
Q. Hi, I'm encountering some problems that I see more and more of lately. Now I'm not a bad looking guy (so I've been told) and I like to weight train. Now here's the catch, the bigger I'm getting the more defensive I feel that women are acting around ...
A. 22 April 2009: Maybe...but I'd need some specific examples of their comments before I could really say. Sometimes when people improve themselves, others get jealous. They liked you better as the chubby dork who hid behind his glasses in accounting. Now suddenly ... (read in full...)
Are we better off alone?
Q. Reading some of the questions on here and contemplating my own relationship experiences (or inexperience), I keep thinking to myself what's the point. The average man is seeking egotistical sexual desires with other women while the average woma...
A. 22 April 2009: Many people do very well alone and prefer it that way. If this is your choice I think that is great. You are probably stronger than many people are. Still it's nice to have someone to come home to at night; to lean on when you've had bad news, ... (read in full...)
Any ways to get girl's virginity back?
Q. is there any way to get back the virginity for a girl?if yes then what are these ways?...
A. 18 April 2009: No way to un-do the physical fact that your hymen has been broken.... (read in full...)
He wants me to smoke weed with him before we have sex... what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex with me but he also wants me to smoke WEED with him before we do it so I can get high. I don't know if I should because I'm worried that if he gets high he'll forget to put a condom on and I might get pregnent. What ...
A. 5 March 2009: You don't completely lose your mind when you smoke weed. Just lay the condom out beforehand. You'll be fine and you'll have fun. However I must warn you, weed may affect your b/f's ability to obtain or maintain an erection. This is sometimes a ... (read in full...)
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