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Tips on stressed out girlfriend?

Tagged as: Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2009)
A male United States age 18-21, *megahero09 writes:

So question-

When my girlfriend is stressed out, she usually gets pretty cranky. It's really difficult to talk to her, and the usual consolation to typical complaints (I've been working forever, or I'm gonna fail these tests) don't work. Not quite sure how to handle it totally yet. Tips on stressed out girlfriend? I really want to be the best for her, and I don't want her to push me away because I can't handle her when she's stressed or something like that. Your help would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

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A female reader, Ginalolabridga United Kingdom + , writes (20 October 2009):

Ginalolabridga agony auntBe a listening ear when she whats to vent her troubles!

Go for walks suggest to her would she like to go doe a walk with you just to clear her head and get some fresh air.

Bottom line is you cant walk around her on eggshells she has to confront why she is getting so stressed at things even you, and the only way she can do that is by talking it through.

I like Caring Guy's suggestion also of running a bath with candles, always works for me that!

Gina

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A male reader, Omegahero09 United States + , writes (20 October 2009):

Omegahero09 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Omegahero09 agony auntUgh so apparently, she has pushed herself back to the point where she hardly feels anything for me because of the way I treated her.

Tips on how to work with this? Anything I shouldn't do or say?

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A female reader, Basschick Australia + , writes (19 October 2009):

Basschick agony auntThe next time she comes home and she seems stressed out (you know what the signs probably are) just say, "I'm gonna give you some space without me bugging you, if you want to talk I'll be in the living room (or other room) otherwise I'm going to let you process your day and change gears." Then go into the other room, and start reading, or watching TV or researching something on the web. Hopefully this will help her realize without being pressured, that she can unwind however she wants and the result will be a much happier gal.

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A male reader, Omegahero09 United States + , writes (18 October 2009):

Omegahero09 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Omegahero09 agony auntThank you all so much ^^ now it's after the fact, and as it turns out, I'm just now looking at your advice and realising I did it all wrong. She has pushed herself away a little because I was a bit... too needy. Or at least, gave off that vibe.

I know what I need to do now next time she's stressed because I've learned from my mistakes, and you guys too. But what's the best way to communicate this to her without deflating her more?

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A female reader, Ginalolabridga United Kingdom + , writes (17 October 2009):

Ginalolabridga agony auntOld and trusted method and it cost nothing: Go for a walk and talk her troubles over, being out in the fresh air does help you feel better and she will not even notice how much She is talking when walking!

Works a treat trust me i do it myself.

Gina

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A female reader, Basschick Australia + , writes (16 October 2009):

Basschick agony auntGive her some space when she's acting stressed out. Tell herthat you're there when/if she wants to talk, and then remove yourself for awhile. Let her work through her problems on her own; she might want to work out to burn off her stress, or she may want to listen to music, take a bubble bath, play a video game, just something to readjust her attitude. You can't really "fix" anyone when they're stressed because you just become the target for their angst. When she's calmed down, she'll be more rational and then she'll accept or even want your help.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom + , writes (16 October 2009):

What I've found about women it this. Women really like to talk things through. Consoloation actually doesn't work all that much. Almost never, in fact. So when she comes to you, sit her down and ask her why she feels that way. And just listen, don't say anything, just listen to her. At the end of it, ask her if there is anything that you can do for her. Also, run her a bath with candles and such. Actions speak louder than words. Don't tell her she's loved. Show her she's loved.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009):

Treat her to a session of Acupuncture for stress. Its amazing!

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