A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been married once, it feel apart 3 years ago and I moved to a new city where i met Angus. We now live together and everything is fairly sweet, he's an artist and I'm in business promoting that kind of thing. Angus cares for me so much, he looks after me like a princess, I couldn't ask for more. Unfortunatly there are 2 things that aren't working out. Firstly, his art never took off, I pushed it as hard as I could professionally and it just didn't stick. That happens sometimes, but when it's your partner, it really hurts and it's created a rift. He doesn't really believe in my business anymore because I wasn't able to prove it on him. Secondly, Angus is a once a month kinda guy and I'm a 3-4 times a week kinda girl. (between the sheets) I talked to him about this and now he's making an effort. As stupid as it sounds, I have been turned down so often that I don't feel sexy around him anymore, and as much as know he's trying... he's TRYING - there isn't anything hot about someone TRYING to sleep with you more often. Argh!Again, treats me like an Angel on a day to day level and he's my best friend in the world. Since I brought up our issues (and at the same time, cancelled our engagement) he's pulled out all the stops to work it out, he's being the biggest sweety any girl could ask for. SO WHATS WRONG WITH ME? He's doing everything right! Why aren't just happy to jump in with him and fix it!?Am I staying for the royalty treatment? Am I staying because I love him? Do I just not want to hurt him? Do I really want to stay but these problems seem unfixable? These questions come and go like waves in my mind. I'm completely lost.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): Sweet is fine but he may have to grow a set of b__ls . I believe when a man goes overboard like that(gives me everything) it becomes a little too much ass kissing.To me that is not attractive.I call it supplication.There is no conflict,teasing or drama.This guy will seem like he's buying you off with out creating that excitement.He needs to get his manly side out and spice it up.
I want to know where these woman are that like sex 3 or 4 times a week.Most I know are once a week which isn't good. Most guys I know want it every day.
He's artistic,maybe your guy is gay or bi.He seems to be a little too much in touch with his feminine side.
A
male
reader, HelloItsRobert  +, writes (25 December 2009):
 I'm at the same stage sexually in my relationship, I never get any kind of sexual attention from my girlfriend, and I know people always say "sex in a relationship is nothing", but they're wrong. The feelings of rejection you get from being turned away make you feel unattractive, destroy your confidence, and without sex, you are lacking a large chunk of your relationship, the physical side.
Therefore, the relationship is not keeping you happy in all area. You may not realise it, but the feeling of rejection you have is probably affecting you a lot more than you first thought, and subconsciously, this may be making it seem as though this man isn't keeping you happy at all.
Your probably also feeling guilty about the sex, once again, without realising it, as you may feel as though your pressuring him into something he doesn't want to do.
But just remember, if your giving him everything HE needs, and he's not giving you everything YOU need, it's always going to make you feel unhappy.
Maybe you should try playing hard to please, he may come to the conclusion that he is at fault on his own then.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (25 December 2009):
 You mixed love/romance and business. Bad idea. Now, not only does he lack confidence professionally, which is what men relate to about themselves, but his failure has bled over into the bedroom. Granted you may both just have different sexual meters. On the other hand, he's a struggling artist that cannot get off the ground and sees you as part of what is preventing this. My advise is to turn his creative promotion over to another agency to handle. Maybe you are too close to see the truth. He may also lack the kind of talent he really needs to go anywhere with his art. This could go either way; but you don't want to be the one who has to tell him this. If bad news has to be delivered by an agency it should be a neutral association. Then he might be able to take the criticism and learn from it as an artist and begin to make changes in his craft. One word of caution; creative people tend to have dark, misunderstood sides of their personalties which alienate them from those who love them. I think the two of you are mis-matched but you will have to come to your own conclussion. Also I think his efforts are failing to wow you because you feel like it's just an "act" not the real thing. I think at this stage in his life, his art is more important than his wing-wang and he may enjoy having you around, but he may later decide you are a distraction and become more distant as he works toward his dreams. You will know when it's time to move on.
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