If your husband gave you permission to have sex with another guy on occasion, would you do it?
Q. If your husband gave you permission to have sex with another guy on occasion, would you do it? Can you think of people in the past you met during your marriage that you would have "done" if you had a "hall pass"? What is the option was one-sided: ...
A. 25 May 2011: What a weird question you are contemplating, and one I am not sure how to answer. For isn't the whole point of marriage to remain faithful to each other, regardless of the temptations out there? I mean, they're everywhere but if you love and ... (read in full...)
Why can't he commit to just me?
Q. I am 18 years of age, and for three years I have been inlove with one particular male. We have been close from the day we have met. And I have always stood by him and been loyal. Although the relationship has been on and off for the past three years ...
A. 25 May 2011: I once heard a Sheryl Crow song: "You are a raging sea, I pull myself out of everyday; I plead insanity, cause I can't leave, but I can't stay"....I think this describes your situation completely. You are addicted to the pain and disappointment, ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to hangout with a guy I recently met and know is interested in me, even though I have a boyfriend?
Q. The other day at work, I met a guy (not affiliated with my place of work) who seemed very friendly and genuinely nice (and cute, too!) After a little bit of talking, he asked me out on a date, to which I declined and stated that I had a boyfriend of ...
A. 1 May 2011: I think it would be pointless and could lead to more which would cause you to be unfaithful. The guy asked you out because he's attracted to you. He's not one of your girlfriends you can do facials on and go shopping. He's looking for more. If you ... (read in full...)
Perfect Man... But Not Sexually Attracted To Him! HELP!
Q. Im 22 years old and Ive been dating this guy for around 3 weeks, and he is seriously the sweetest, affectionate, caring man i have ever met in my life. But the problem is im not sexually attracted to him. I do fancy him, i think he is hansom but the ...
A. 1 May 2011: Don't do it. Sexual attraction is key if you don't have it now, it will not magically appear later. Trust me on this one.... (read in full...)
Should I let this guy know that his fiance sleeps around?
Q. There is a girl who works in my office who is getting married in less than 6 weeks time. However, she continues to sleep with other men. Friends of friends and men she works with. She does this when her fiance is working(a policeman so does his ...
A. 1 May 2011: The answer to that is how would you feel if the tables were turned. If you were engaged to be married to a guy you thought was wonderful, and along comes this annoymous letter spelling out all the times he slept behind your back would you want to ... (read in full...)
Why do women need to constantly be in contact?
Q. My girlfriend wants some sort of daily contact, but me I'm fine if a go a week w/o so much as a text. Why do women seem to need to remain in constant contact?...
A. 1 May 2011: It's what all people do when they are in a relationship with someone they love. Since this bugs you, maybe you should think about how you really feel about her. I suspect you aren't that interested in her, so rather than stringing her on just cut it ... (read in full...)
Should I be mad that my boyfriend wants to "hang out naked" with another girl?
Q. My boyfriend and I are currently having a fight over this. I'd like to know if I'm wrong to be angry about it. Last night we were in a hot tub with some friends of his (male and female both). He had done a fair bit of drinking and wanted to take his ...
A. 1 May 2011: No you are not being unreasonable. Yes you should be concered by what you over heard him saying to C. So talk to him now that he's sober and lay it on the line. Since you are so easy going he may forget where the boundaries really are, and it's ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with the past so I can love my current boyfriend?
Q. In the first comment, I talked about an affair I had in South Africa. Now, let me talk about another person in this history: my present bf. He´s a wonderful person, we live in a very nice relationship, but in spite of this, I can´t forget the other ...
A. 1 May 2011: You don't say how long ago your former relationship ended, so it could be hard for you to move on if you have immediately jumped into a new relationship before your heart and mind had time to deal with the break up. This is common with women. ... (read in full...)
Why is she cheating just 6 months into our marriage?
Q. me and my gf have been dating for 2 years, married for 6 months. the other day she left her computer for work left on. i went to switch it off but in the screen was one of these "meet up for sex" websites. i read her messages and she'd been talking ...
A. 1 May 2011: When women marry this young they frequently get hit with the "I wonder what else is out there?"bug and that restless curiosity can lead to some very un-married behavior such as sneaking around behind your back like a rebellious teenager to seek out ... (read in full...)
This married woman is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend! Please help!
Q. hi thanks for reading this please help! I've just moved in with my boyfriend and things are going great between us however the main issue we have is that he is friends with a married couple and the wife is completely obsessed with my boyfriend!!!i...
A. 27 April 2011: I think he likes the attention she's giving him therefore he turns a blind eye to the fact that it's inappropriate behavior for a married woman. Try talking to him again when she's not around. If he wants to have a relationship with you he needs to ... (read in full...)
This married woman is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend! Please help!
Q. hi thanks for reading this please help! I've just moved in with my boyfriend and things are going great between us however the main issue we have is that he is friends with a married couple and the wife is completely obsessed with my boyfriend!!!i...
A. 27 April 2011: I think he likes the attention she's giving him therefore he turns a blind eye to the fact that it's inappropriate behavior for a married woman. Try talking to him again when she's not around. If he wants to have a relationship with you he needs to ... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend feel guilty after his ex left, even though she was the one who cheated?
Q. My partner said he felt guilty after he left his ex even though she was the one who cheated. He said when he found out, he left her but spent months afterwards feeling guilty and as if he had 'not acted like a man'. What does this mean? ...
A. 27 April 2011: There's probably more to the story. Maybe he feels bad that he didn't try to work it out. He just left. Maybe he knows that he had been ignoring her; pushing her away; preoccupied with work; or had a fling of his own, to which could be the real ... (read in full...)
My sister-in-law is too clingy towards my husband. What do I do?
Q. My question might sound weird, but the situtation that Im in is making me more and more anxious. So me and my husband have been married for a little over two years now. We have two beautiful children(ages 3 and 1)Our marriage itself has been ama...
A. 27 April 2011: I don't think you're crazy, but I do wonder about your husband's sister. Her behavior is very strange to me. My husband is extremely close to his family and he has 5 sisters. When we are around them, they never sit on his lap or act flirty the way ... (read in full...)
He talks to other women...what do I do?
Q. I found my husband has been talking to a lot of women. He has started hiding things better now that I found out he slept with one. He mashed up his cell phone because he didn't want me to see who was on it. He even went as far as changing the ...
A. 27 April 2011: He's a cheater and a fraud. Why is he still married to you when clearly he neither respects or loves you anymore. Confront him dearie, you are still legally his wife. Tell him to go to couples counseling, or you are kicking him out. Then file for ... (read in full...)
Should I Be Angry At All His Lies?
Q. Last Summer Of 2010 i discovered 'Dating Sites' . Over A few Months i got into Contact with an American Man Who was working with politics etc we Spoke For Months And I fell in love :) he came to ireland in autumn and asked me to meet him i was ...
A. 27 April 2011: Apparently as much has he travels to Ireland, he was thinking he could have a little "fling" there with someone (you) and his wife/girlfriend back home would never be the wiser. You should immediately cut off contact with this loser/user and move ... (read in full...)
How do I change a habit that has become ingrained? my daughter in law has complained about it.
Q. My son has asked me to stop repeating myself when I speak to his wife. He says she doesn't want to speak to me any more because I repeat myself so often. My son says he is used to me doing this and thinks nothing of it, he says I have so many good ...
A. 27 April 2011: It is learned behavior, and therefore can be un-learned but it will take lots of practice on your part to do so. We all have annoying little habits that drive other people nuts. Since your son has mentioned this, you know you have to work on it ... (read in full...)
Married lover says he can't move because of his kids. Do I walk?
Q. l have being seing a married guy for nearly a year who lives 400 miles away and who still sleeps with his wife but they dont have sex we talk every day and text all the time . We have met up four times and slept together on two occasions x he says ...
A. 22 April 2011: Yes and walk quickly. You are just a nice little fling 400 miles away from his wife and kids. What a nice arrangement - for HIM. He's using you. Get out.... (read in full...)
Infidelity, money worries, fights? can our marriage be saved?what would help?
Q. I have been with my husband for several years, and married for a while now. We both in our 30s have kids from both our previous marriages. Background - We met a few years ago. and fell in love instantly. Everything was perfect for months. We m...
A. 22 April 2011: OMG! You have become the crazy wife he goes outside to talk to "privately" on the cell phone while he's entertaining a new girlfriend overseas! Don't you see the pattern? Of course he wants a divorce. He probably hasn't spent one moment alone since ... (read in full...)
Depressed husband and unsatisfied wife. Please help.
Q. Dear Cupid I have been married for almost 8 years now and it feels like a vicious cycle. my husband is on meds for adhd and clinical depression and still won't get help. my patience and epathy are almost wearing out. I have developed panic disorder ...
A. 11 April 2011: You must begin to picture the kind of life you would LOVE to have with your spouse. Imagine him being well, and off medications and able to cope with his ADHD in positive ways. Imagine yourself too, living the life you want to live with him. Having ... (read in full...)
Exit Only
Q. My husband is always trying to put things where they don't belong. I don't like THAT KIND of sex, but I feel bad for refusing him. Why does he like it so much? Can't he read the sign "exit only"???...
A. 11 April 2011: I have a theory about that; men who have small penises often feel "lost" inside a woman's vagina, especially if she's had kids and not as tight as he needs. The exit only opening is much tighter, thus they will be BIG in there and not lost. However ... (read in full...)
I desperately want to see my long lost love, but my family will disapprove!
Q. i went to stay with family for a holiday where i met my cousin for the first time we were both 17. it was like love at first sight i tried to resist but i couldn't hold out. straight after i felt scared incase anyone found out. now 27 years late...
A. 11 April 2011: You are old enough to live your own life and may I say perhaps too old to worry about what your family will think. Besides, if you love him, there's a good chance they will too. Think positively it will work out if it's meant to.... (read in full...)
There is no reason for my children to have these problems. Where can I go that someone will understand?
Q. I feel so alone with my problems. I feel there is no one else on the world who is going thru the same tragedy as me, or in the same way. I have tried to get help before from counselors and support groups, but i felt very misunderstood, and that the...
A. 6 April 2011: Some people simply have addictive nature. They weren't abused as a child. They weren't neglected. Sometimes it's the kids who have everything that end up this way because they find life boring. This is not really your fault, but if children are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is angry and moody all the time...I am no longer attracted to him sexually and considering leaving...
Q. I just need some helpful advice. I am in a relationship which is about 2 and a half years old. In the beginning things were fantastic, i had met the love of my life, the man i had always dreamt of. We moved in together, which went very well f...
A. 6 April 2011: You could suggest couples counseling it might reveal some interesting things and give you both a chance to talk about what's going on in the relationship and how it's affecting you. Another consideration is that he has a disorder he cannot control. ... (read in full...)
How much do appearances matter?
Q. I recently met this guy whose family was from my hometown originally but he was born and raised in this country. He obviously likes me a lot and we had a lot to talk as his major is similar to mine. We've met twice but nothing was awkward and he ...
A. 6 April 2011: Never marry simply for security and being treated nice. You will long for a man who turns you on, and it'll be much more painful later. Keep him as a friend if you wish, but do not make a committment to this man. It would be a big mistake. Good ... (read in full...)
I'm taking to a divorce lawyer Thursday, but I really wish I could work things out with my wife
Q. so me and my wife are sperated, and have been for 2 weeks. i've already begun to evaluate our assets and im talking with a lawyer on thursday. my head is telling me this is the best thing for me, but my heart desperately wants her back. the reas...
A. 6 April 2011: You cannot row this boat alone. Your wife has shown no indications that she wants things to work out as much as you do. That should tell you something. The pain gets better with time. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I'm so happy and sad at the same time!
Q. Ok, I am 34 years old, and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He has been divorced for 3 years, and his ex wife lives 7 hours away and is remarried. I have two boys (10) and (12)that live with me, as their father passed away 4 years ago. ...
A. 10 February 2011: First of all the two of you cannot let his ex wife dictate whether you are going to be a family or not. Perhaps if he marries you it will wake her up and make her realize you are part of the family and legally entitled to be present when the kids ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to do things that single people do and I'm not happy about it
Q. Adice Needed! Okay, here's the thing. I have been dating a younger woman now for about 4 months. We have a pretty good relationship in my opinion and we have a ncie time when we are together. The issue at hand is her "guy" friends. Personal...
A. 10 February 2011: I think you should just calmly tell her that you don't feel comfortable with her going out bar-hopping with her male friends or running into her ex while she's there. Maybe she just doesn't know where the boundaries are, especially if she's young ... (read in full...)
My friend doesn't initate conversation with my husband so he thinks she is rude
Q. I am married with two children. A few months ago my friend came to live with us. She is not disrespectul or rude but my husband thinks she has something against him, just because she doesn't initate conversation with him. She has her personal issues ...
A. 10 February 2011: I think he just doesn't like sharing you with her. Men often feel threatened by our girlfriends, even though most would never admit it. But if it's starting to put a strain on your relationsh she should go. You've allowed her to stay for a few ... (read in full...)
How can I make friends with people my own age?
Q. I am feeling low as I'd like to make more friends with people of my own age (35 years old) and meet a man to settle down with, yet despite going out to loads of activities and events there seems to be no-one of my age around. I guess that a vast ...
A. 10 February 2011: You have to step back, look at your community and think about the places or activities you've seen others gettig involved with. Tennis?....Golf?....Bowling?...Church?....Gun club?.... Book club?.....Wine tasting?.....Listening to live music?.... ... (read in full...)
Am I completely unjustified here?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend now for almost two years. We have lived together now for exactly one year. She has a five-year-old son who I love very much that also lives with us. When she moved here we discussed the roles I would play with her ...
A. 10 February 2011: You are completely justified to feel the way you do. She is taking you for granted on some levels. You should at least tell her what you've told us and see how she responds. Maybe it never occurred to her that you're feeling this way because you ... (read in full...)
Marriage, communication and relationships...
Q. hello i dnt know where to start about my question but maybe i will start my story n the beginning im 3 years marriage and have 2 kids i met my husband thru online long distance relationship, b4 i met my husband he was broken hearted coz his fiance ...
A. 10 February 2011: Maybe he's worrying about the same thing with you. He's the one being deployed. Do you know how many women find other men while their husbands are off fghting a war? I suspect his mind is pre-occupied with his deployment. He knows it's his duty, but ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble with him understanding I want a divorce!
Q. been married for 3 and a half yrs my husband dont even know i am in the room he dont share things with me never has he is lying to me about stupid stuff and saying i would have flipped out if he told me the truth this is not true ! no sex in a yr ...
A. 10 February 2011: If you can afford it, you should be the one to move out and get your own apartment. You don't even have to give him the address, especally if he's threatening to burn down a house just so you can't have it. Kind of psycho if you ask me. The only way ... (read in full...)
Jealousy is ruining our relationship. Help!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 1 year and a half almost and we live together for a year as well and i am very jealous and everytime we go out anywere i catch him looking a girls butt i think that maybe its me and i think that all guys do ...
A. 10 February 2011: I think the counselor will be able to help. You may be having issues with your own self-esteem. Confident women rarely get this jealous over casual glances their men make in the direction of other women. But we all have our own level of comfort and ... (read in full...)
My friend never wants to get "too close" in case he gets hurt.
Q. Dear all, My friend has a problem with women, he has been in many relationships but always runs away from the woman because he feels that if he loves the woman too much she might hurt him by leaving him for any reason example if he loses his job...
A. 10 February 2011: Maybe he just needs more time and lots of support from you. It's hard to work through rejection of this magnitude. If you don't rush him to move too fast, if you're patient, loving and don't make him feel pressured he may eventually heal from these ... (read in full...)
Why does he always mention his ex? Also, can I really trust him?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a little over a month, but he and I have been "together" (friends with benefits) for 5 months. I like him, I kinda love him, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to say it to him yet. The problem is that ...
A. 10 February 2011: Guys usually have more sexual partners than we do because they have the capability of having sex with someone but not having feelings for her. So it's "on to the next" for them. If I were you I wouldn't press the issue of how many lovers he's had. ... (read in full...)
After the breakup he said he wished we'd never met!
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up, and he says to me really sadly that sometimes he wished he never met me. can you tell me why he said that. I'm 40 and he is 32 he often says he didnt think he was ever mature enough for me. ...
A. 10 February 2011: I'd have to agree. He wasn't mature enough. I can only surmise that he tells you this because if he had not met you, then he would not have lost you and he would not be feeling this pain. But that is assuming he is just as heart broken as you are ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship hopeless?
Q. My boyfriend of almost 5 years, has caused me a lot of heartache. I love him dearly, but I am very attached to him. We are both in our 30's and much too old to be dealing with these issues. But overall, 3 years ago I found out everything about him ...
A. 10 February 2011: Wow, I think you're dating one of my ex-boyfriends! A compulsive liar. I think you are fighting a losing battle and I say this from experience. Some people cannot be fixed with more love. They just drag you down emotionally and mentally. At one ... (read in full...)
I'm finally with my GF, but after fending off her vicious ex and a lot of drama in the past. How do I heal myself after all this?
Q. Alright, here is a quick background of myself. I moved around a lot as a kid, (parents divorced when I was 6), learned all about marriages from the multiple ones my mother has been part of. I am an intellectual, a man of principle, and an ...
A. 10 February 2011: You have a military background, and military people are very strong willed and strong minded. One of the things that bugs you the most about this girl is that she's weak. The whole back and forth swinging from you to her boyfriend is the sign of a ... (read in full...)
My mistress come up with all kinds of excuses to avoid moving in with me..
Q. This is a long story but i will try to keep short.. I am in a relationship and have been for some years. For the last 6 years i have been seeing a married woman whom i love dearly.. For information purposes my home relationship has been over for th...
A. 10 February 2011: I think she's stalling because she's confused. Her husband is not quite what she wants, but sadly you may not be quite what she wants either...however the both of you together makes her life complete because what one lacks, the other has and vice ... (read in full...)
'I'm marrying you for your great sex'. Really??!!
Q. Hello Cupids (: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4years and 8months, when he recently proposed to me. I said yes, and i was all happy and, as you would be, excited! Until the other night. He had been out to the pub for ...
A. 10 February 2011: I think he allowed a little of his male humor to come out after a few drinks. Don't be alarmed. Your Prince Charming is not always going to be "charming" and he's not always going to say or do all the perfectly romantic things we girls tend to dream ... (read in full...)
It's like my brain and my penis are not connected!!!
Q. Most of the time I can get an erection but about a quarter of the time it is extremly hard to and during that time if I get turned off in the least bit its gone and no matter what I do I can't get an erection I want to but its like my brain and my ...
A. 10 February 2011: Actually your brain and penis are always connected and unfortunately when you get stressed out your brain is in the driver seat and that can be a real bummer. The more you obsess, the less of an erection you will have. Just let it flow.....r-e-l-a-x ... (read in full...)
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