A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My Boyfriend wanted me to delete all the male friends on my fb account. I grew up with these guys and most of them are married it is nothing sexual. But to please him I just deleted my account . That made him mad because he said I should have just erased the guys. Anyways my problem is he won't delete his account now and he has a bunch of girls on his. Women he went dates with and they look like sluts.Now I dont think it's fair he made me erase my page and he won't with his. This whole thing is dumb. Anyways he said he erased his page but when I looked to see if it was erased by going to his cousins friends list to find him via my sisters page. He was gone but the number of his cousins friends were the same so i think he just made his profile invisable. Is this possible?And should I dump him over this even though it's dumb - his lies pisses me off. Thanks for reading.....
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (13 October 2012):
 Insisting you delete any friends, could be a red flag depending upon the circumstances. Doing that while keeping women with whom he has a sexual history on his is a deal breaker with no further explanation necessary. Lying about deleting his acount is just another nail in the coffin.
I don't think you should waste any time or energy explaining this or trying to work it out. Your boyfriend wants you to cut off your options while he keeps his open. That speaks volumes about his character, or lack thereof. Get rid of the boyfriend and keep your friends.
Walk away gracefully.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (13 October 2012):
 Yes you can set your profile to only be seen by a list of people you choose, or even specific friends. Since he didn't keep up his end of the bargain (and I'm assuming it was agreed by both of you to remove "opposite sex" people from your fb) you should re-activate your account. Generally I don't think you can "erase" a fb account. I think you can choose to deactivate it, but it never really goes away, it just goes into hiding. I'd be willing to bet if you log onto facebook under your name and password you will find your account. Then all you have to do is reactivate it and then adjust your privacy settings to exclude your b/f and any of his immediate friends. If he later finds out, you can show him all the women he has on his friend list and tell him if he can do it, so can you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2012): He most likely deactivated his account, but didn't delete it. There IS a difference. When you deactivate, you can log back in and restore your profile at any time, as long as you do it within 2 weeks. Deleting means it's gone forever. If he deactivated it, he can still log in every so often to keep his account active. Then, he can just deactivate it again so you won't be able to see it. Anyway, he was wrong to tell you to delete your friends for no other reason than because they were guys. This shows he doesn't trust you. Furthermore, if you have to give up your guy friends, then he should have to delete all the women off his that he went on dates with. Yours were just platonic friends, his were dates. That in itself makes it unfair. There is no good reason for him to have them on there, unless he is planning to talk to them behind your back. This could also be the reason he doesn't trust you. He knows what HE would do, so he assumes you'd do the same. And even if he doesn't plan to talk to them, he doesn't need to be using their photos to masturbate to. (You mentioned they look slutty, and generally that's what guys do with those types of women's photos.) He knows these women which means there is a chance of feeling emotion toward them, so it's inappropriate. Overall, facebook causes way more drama than it's worth. I actually think you're better off without one, in the long run. Hopefully, you know the phone numbers of the guys you lost when you deleted your account so you can still stay in touch with them. He lost his right to say anything the day he decided to add women he DATED.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2012): He shouldn't have made you erase your page and now he keeps his. This guy is a control freak dump him.
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