A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys , I'm having major jealously issues. Not to brag but my boyfriend is really attractive so there is always girls after him flirting with him and such. I find it hard to deal with, he is totally oblivious to the fact. He says their all just friends when he hangs out with them, but iknow those girls think differently. I've been watching it happen for awhile and I'm starting to reach a breaking point I can't watch it happen anymore, I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (15 October 2012):
 You gotta just ignore it. He's with you. I know, I'm twice your age, and my husband is always capturing the attention of attractive women. It's like he has some kind of chick-magnet karma or something. It's crazy! Like the other day we were shopping in this huge, I mean huge department store and this is what typically happens; if there is an attractive woman in the entire store, we will bump into her at least 20 times while we're in there shopping. My husband will act like he doesn't see her (maybe it's an act, but it's a good one)...and then everywhere we turn, there she is! It got so funky I started steering our cart down premature isles just to avoid her if I saw her up ahead. I took the man on quite a wild shopping spree and as we made our way to the check out, there she was already in line so I lingered over by some other things, my husband completely obvlivious. I don't think they knew each other we just couldn't shake her ass for nothing! Finally I couldn't stall any longer, we headed to the check out lanes and I'll be damned if she wasn't still there buying three cartloads of crap. We ended up right behind her perfectly shaped ass, in her skinny, tight little bejeweled jeans and she kept bending over getting stuff out of her cart. I wanted to die! Then her credit card didn't want to work, and she kept batting her eyes and apologizing to my husband and completely ignorning me. The bitch. It was torture. But that's my life. It's not really his fault, so I couldn't be mad at him, it's just his frickin' karma! I've learned to never go out of the house unless I'm wearing something cute, and have some make up on, I am not one of these women who will ever go to the store with no make up on, and a dirty baseball jersey. Oh hell no, there's way too much competition for that! Welcome to my world. Just remember, he's with you.
A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (14 October 2012):
 What do you want him to do exactly? Do you want him to stop seeing his female friends? Is that fair, just because you're insecure? And will that even help? Even if he does stop socialising with girls, and cuts off all contact with other females, girls are still going to be giving him attention... on the street, in the halls at school, when he goes to the store... what's he supposed to do about that?The fact of the matter is he will always get attention from girls. This is the down side of having a good looking boyfriend. You're either going to have to deal with it or find a guy who doesn't attract as much attention.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2012): The problem is not really the other girls, as such. The problem is your boyfriend's refusal to at least consider things from your perspective. Depending on how long you two have been a couple - if it is six months or more then generally speaking you are 'a couple' rather than just dating - your ability to work 'as a team' will be weaker or stronger. When I say 'work as a team' what I mean is to do things like take on board how the other partner is thinking about something and to come up with a solution together.Not working as a team is something that causes problems for many, many couples and the issue can vary in terms of what it is that seems to be causing the problem - eg. a guy not recognising a woman's career, a woman not recognising when a man needs some guy time, couples being unable to come to a mutual agreement about childcare issues. In your case, your perspective on your boyfriend's lack of awareness about other women is the issue that needs teamwork. If you want to broach the subject with him, you could talk to him in general first about working as a team, or starting to find ways to do this and ask if he thinks it is important. Maybe point out where he has had a problem with something you've done and you have co-operated with him in resolving it. Then simply point out that this is another issue that requires both of you to co-operate. Presenting the problem in this way will make him feel immediately more able to address it without feeling personally attacked. If he still can't see what you mean, or doesn't change, then you need to consider moving on. For a guy not to take you seriously about something like this, or to just turn around and say "look, maybe you are right but what can I do? It's not my fault if they find me attractive" is an immature response - there ARE things that he can do to demonstrate to other women that he is just not interested and is devoted to you. Don't make the mistake of thinking that he may be right on that point - if he's stereotypically handsome then he needs to take responsibility for the fact that this may sometimes cause issues for his partner!Good luck.
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