A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel really self conscious about my body after the comments from people I live with at uni, now I think they're right that a guy wont like my body or maybe I should get surgery, or gain weight, anything to change myself.I'm not that tall, only about 5'4 but I am a size 6/8 quite small. My legs are just straight up and toned because I do athletics, I have a small gap at the top which my friends says looks weird, it's like the smallest gap but they said it's weird that my thighs don't touch. And my waist is defined, I have faint abs which again is from doing athletics. They say that because I have very small boobs that my body looks like a mans, which I don't think it does, a man would be much more muscly and different. But because I have a defined and toned body from doing a lot of athletics and working out, they said that guys will be intimidated by that and maybe put off that my body or abs are better than theirs and that guys don't like when a girl looks like that. At least not if she has big boobs, which I don't.I used to love my body but since being at uni and hearing those comments, I just keep looking at my body now hating it thinking, either I should get surgery for bigger boobs, or not have such a defined body I do so guys don't reject me. My last boyfriend loved my body because he said he loved the body of an athlete girl. But now those girls have made me self conscious about the fact that a guy will be put off that my boobs are so small and just see my figure as a mans, or be put off that I have abs, are they right... I don't know how to change it, what would be a better idea losing muscle tone, or just consider a boob job!?
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (1 October 2012):
You sound like one of those pictures young girls post on Tumblr of "fitspo" and "thinspo". They're jealous, OP. They'd love to look like you, but because they don't they try to bring you down to balance out the odds. The first thing girls do when they meet a gorgeous girl is list flaws (whether they exist or not) so they don't feel bad about themselves.
As for not having big boobs, look at the average victoria's secret model. They look like they have tonnes of cleavage, but in reality they stuff their bras full of "chicken fillets". Rosie Huntington-Whitely admitted using 3 per cup (adding 3 sizes) for several shoots.
Ditch your 'friends' or tell them the truth: real friends support each other, they don't tear each other down and harp on their looks. If they say "I didn't mean it that way" then ask them how they'd feel if someone said something was "weird" and wrong about their bodies.
Whatever you do, do NOT get a boob job. Not only is surgery dangerous, being thin like you means that they often don't look realistic at all. Plus why the heck put your health at risk to look like some porn weekly plastic blow up doll when you look absolutely breathtaking now?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): Just so you know... that gap between your thighs is considered very sexy. Google "thigh gap" it's an actual thing. Those girls that don't have it are jealous that their thighs aren't slim enough to have it... they're probably aware that it's something that men find attractive too, they're just trying to make you feel bad for having something they don't. women should support each other, not bring each other down like that. Your body sounds hot and I'm sure my bf would say the same.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (30 September 2012):
You are fighting some unhealthy advertising images, cultural stereotypes, and mental conditioning. Your body is part of what makes you, uniquely YOU. Don't change it to satisfy the prejudices or misinformation of casual acquaintances!
My wife has never been properly described as "athletic", though she is tall, slim, and small-breasted. I love her as well as her body!
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 Don't sign up for surgery just yet. Take a good look at your Mom, what does her body look like? Genetics don't lie and if your Mom has some curves, chances are you will too at some point in the future. Most men do like it when a girl isn't stick thin and built like a 14-year boy. But lots of men (say) they like women who have smaller boobs. You're very young and I have a theory about a woman's life cycle. Women go through four hormonal cycles. The first one is puberty. The second one usually hits around age 25-28 years of age, sometimes it waits until 30's. That's when her womanly curves kick in and she becomes alittle more "fleshy". There's a seperate cycle devoted to pregnancy which I won't go into, and then the last cycle is when women hit menopause. Your hormones do different things during each of these cycles and it can have an impact on your weight, your metabolism and your ability to be curvy. The other thing that could help in a more immediate sense is to stop working out so much. You may be working out on an obsessve level which is causing you to remain too thin and under-developed. Cut back on the work outs, make sure you are eating enough food, that you aren't starving yourself and let your body do what it will do naturally. Just be confidence. Men like a woman who is comfortable in her own skin. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (29 September 2012):
 Why are you hanging out with people who treat you this way? Are they obsessed with peoples' bodies or what?
Honestly, the girls really probably ARE jealous. They're jealous because you work out, you're toned, and you're healthy. Take a minute to scrutinize their lives and see if they're as fit as you are...I highly doubt it.
I have small breasts also and have NEVER had trouble finding men who like my body...ever. I also work out and stay fit, and usually loose weight first around my chest. That is just the way it works for me. I remember being a B cup when I weighed 200 lbs in high school. Now I am toned at 150 lbs. and wear an A (B is bigger than A...which is the smallest cup size here besides AA). Men will like you regardless.
I suggest you stop hanging around these gals who are obsessed with body image because they are making you self-conscious. Go out and have fun...and keep working out! You're making them jealous!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 September 2012):
 "my friends says looks weird, it's like the smallest gap but they said it's weird that my thighs don't touch"
They're not your friends. Really. Friends don't say their friends look weird. Friends got each others back. I have a huge gap between my leg, no one has ever commented on that except for an American boyfriend I had once. And his comment was that it was damn sexy, and that none of the other American girls had it. So in his book, it was hot.
Reality: I am thin, hence my thighs don't rub up against each other like on the "heavier" women out there. It's also got to do with bone structure, my hips are wide, my thighs are slim. I've seen skinny girls with thighs that meet because they had slim hips as well. It's just a body type.
But back to the friends thing. They're not your friends. I don't know who they are, but they're definitely not friends of yours. So try not to treat them as friends either, and definitely do not take their comments to heart.
My best guess: they're jealous of you, because you're getting way more male attention than they are. So they try to bring you down to make themselves feel better. Friends don't pull this kind of crap on each other, rivals however do. Don't let them bully you, which is in essence what's happening here.
"But now those girls have made me self conscious about the fact that a guy will be put off that my boobs are so small and just see my figure as a mans"
So, a MAN said he loved your body, but when these GIRLS say a man wont, you choose to believe the GIRLS and not the MAN? Rewind... you're not trying to hit on girls are you? No? Then who gives a s&%%¤& about what GIRLS think?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): I'd kill for your body, & I know many other women would too. If you're worried about small boobs- & you really shouldn't be as A LOT of men love small boobs for various reasons, Ann summers has brought out some sort of super bra, I don't know what it's called but it's about £26 and it's on their website. When I was younger I used to have a completely flat stomach & was very slim & everyone used to tell me that I should gain weight. I believed them & I did, now I have a horrible podgy stomach which I hate & have spent the last 5/6 years trying to get my stomach back, but I can't. I wish I had a lovely slimmer figure so I didn't have to worry about clothes accentuating my lumps and bumps and what if 'I look fat in that?'. I bet clothes look lush on you. & your friends are really jealous, they're way of thinking is probably 'if we convince her to gain weight then she won't look as good as she does & we can feel better about ourselves'. Trust me,like 90% of women are trying to get a body like yours.
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A
male
reader, Barrybaggs +, writes (29 September 2012):
You sound absolutely beautiful. And all those making comments so absolutely jealous.
Nothing that you have mentioned would put me off you. I actually prefer girls with smaller boobs. Lots of hot athletic girls have that gap because they are toned. Better than two huge fat thighs rubbing together, right? :P
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 September 2012):
 I think your so called friends are just very jealous of you.
That little space between your thighs - go Google the old pics of Sophia Loren when she was young . Or Ursula Andress. They had it too, and I think that nobody in his right mind would say their legs looked masculine !
You have a fit, atlethic body type, and I think that many guys like that. Those who don't - tastes are tastes , maybe some guys like curvier, bustier women, but how that makes you "wrong " or unappealing ? It's personal preferences. Some guys prefer blondes, other brunettes. Same with body types, and boob size.
OP, there is nothing wrong with you, BUT your choice of friends :).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): OP you're a woman, I'm surprized you haven't learned that the only women who will ever give you an honest, unbiased opinion on your appearance is your mother or sisters.
Seriously my girlfriend gets their or my opinion on appearance because she doesn't trust women to tell the truth. Her friends will always tell her she's pretty, even if she looks like a tired mess or a dress really doesn't compliment her figure, girls she's better looking than will always point out flaws that don't exist trying to make it sound like guys like their features better, even neutral girls with no agenda will judge based on their own personal fashion tastes.
Don't ever take a woman's opinion on your appearance or what guys want seriously OP, whether through jealousy, personal taste or loyalty they will not give you an honest nor accurate opinion.
Besides what the hell would they know about what us guys want? In terms of appearance if they think we want anything more specific than, every different size and shape of woman that has ever walked, then they're idiots.
Want to know what a guy wants or likes? It's simple we want you, your body, your face, your personality and your "imperfections". Of course not every guy will find you attractive as we all have different tastes, just as you don't find every guy attractive.
Worried that guys won't like your physique? Remember when it comes to taste, ours is as varied as yours is and most of us are pretty broad in our preferences.
You sound petite OP and guys love petite girls.
It's funny because at your age I figured out exactly what women want: me. Simple as that.
OP the measurements you describe I'd have no problem asking you out tomorrow.
Guys don't like girls who look like that? Then why do 90% of you want to look like that? Why do you get gastric bands, eating disorders, why are diets so popular? Why are all the pretty celebrities so obsessed with looking like that?
They make no sense at all. be proud of your body OP, you work hard to maintain that and I bet it looks great. Most women who don't have that would love it and those who would tell you guys would be intimated by it must have had some very weird insecure boyfriends or guys who just told them what they wanted to heart so they could stick it in.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 September 2012):
 STOP, STOP, STOP worrying about what OTHER people think of your appearance!!!!
Cripes!!! You're healthy, strong, fit and smart..... ask someone who struggles with MD or MS if they would change places with you......
I hope you develop enough sense to say to yourself: "This (submittal) really IS a bunch of B/S....and I have OODLES of blessings to be thankful for...."
Then,.... get on with your life.... and FORGET that you ever posted this....
(I've already forgotten it....) Good luck..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): It sounds like these girls are jealous hun. No true friend would try to make you feel that way about how you look. Never change your body for some1 else like that or you will regret it later! Besides, these girls should let the guys speak for themselves, the right man will love you just as you are, please ignore them they sound like a bunch of jealous little kids
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 September 2012):
 they are jealous
btw you are supposed to have three spaces in your legs your thighs is one
your calves is the other
and your ankles is the third
most of us don't have that thigh one any more because we are unfit and overweight.
there is a chance is you gain weight you won't gain in your boobs btw.
and surgery is a lousy option at such a young age.
the people that are telling you this are not folks that want to date you they are RIVALS.
you are fit and healthy and that's a fabulous thing. My plastic surgeon told me that no matter what you have for boobs, it's the BRA that makes the cleavage...
get some good foundation garments and knock their socks off.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): Please don't listen to these friends of yours! Like one of the other users mentioned, they are probably jealous of you and make themselves feel better by putting you down and lowering your confidence. Just because they say these things, doesn't mean they know how the world works and what all guys want!
You mention that before all this you didn't have any body-image issues but that now you are doubting yourself since all the things your friends have said. Btw guys are not looking for just a pair of tits in a relationship!
Instead of getting an operation, change your friends!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 September 2012):
 Wow!
I am trying to understand why you listen to those girls. Honey, we are not made from cookie dough with cookie cutters! We ALL look different. We are all INDIVIDUALS.
You sound like you are a petite and FIT girl. Which I KNOW many guys find attractive.
If a guy only likes girls with boobs, well then he isn't for you, is he? If a guy is intimidated from a fit woman, well then he isn't for you either. right? There are guys out there who likes a WHOLE package, not just big boobs. Fake or real. There REALLY is more to being a woman then having two fat deposits on our chest.
I agree with Caring Guy - they are jealous. I'm betting they AREN'T very fit and slightly shallow in their line of thinking.
LOVE who you are. Don't start believing the HYPE that you HAVE to have a size XX cup, so your only option is to be either fat & unfit or stick bags of foreign matter under your skin.
You ex was right, an athletic body IS attractive. Be it a guys or a girl's body.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (29 September 2012):
If you love athletics, stick with athletics. Having a boob job will change your body in such a way that you may not be able to perform the same athletically. Larger breasts can tear ligaments in the chest when you run. They can also cause you back pain and may just get in your way when you are trying to move freely.
I think you should explore purchasing some new bras. Companies like Victoria's Secret have a special range of bras that boost the appearance of your bust by 1-2 cup sizes. I personally own a 'water bra' that has soft plastic inserts in the bottom of the cups filled with fluid. This bra brings me to an A cup and the water gives my bust a natural movement. (I still fit in the 'training bras' my mom bought me 19 years ago...)
Finally, do not allow your friends to make you feel bad about your body. I wish I had the mind-set and physical stamina to work out enough to tone up my thighs and at least see the outline of my abs a little. Personally, I think your friends are being mean girls. I think they are jealous of how fit and healthy you look and they are picking on your bust size to make themselves feel more attractive.
Whatever you decide to do, you must put yourself first. Ignore the comments the mean girls make, tell them to stop because it is hurtful, and if all else fails, sweetly ask them, "[mean girl's name], how would you like it if I told you that [physical feature you know they are self-conscious about] was [weird/gross/fat/big/small/hairy/etc] and that guys aren't going to like you because it makes you look different?" Then say something like, "Friends are supposed to accept and support one another, not say hurtful things about each other's bodies."
Personally,
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 September 2012):
And there you have it, right in your own post - your ex boyfriend loved your body, meanwhile some girls (who understand absolutely nothing about men) have said a few comments and you feel bad because of them.
Just one word sums that up - jealousy.
Those other girls are obviously jealous, and are trying to hurt you. There is in fact one thing that you can be sure of about men - and that is that we're all different! Some men like tall girls, others short girls. Some slim girls, some curvy girls. We're all different, and we all like different things in women. It would be a very sad outlook for the world if men just liked the same type of woman.
When it comes to things that men fin attractive in women, only trust a good, honest man. Don't trust other women, as they will have their own views, and don't trust crap guys.
Take no notice of these girls. Like your body, and the right man will like it too.
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