A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy friend I have that's been doing his best to lead me on. He has a girlfriend but he was always acting like he was single. We were involved in an emotional affair you could say and nothing physical ever happened but not because he wasn't trying. It's due to me knowing he was already in a relationship.I came out and told him to stop treating me like that because I wasn't going to cheat with him or be used like some piece of meat on the side. I was just becoming sick of this treatment. I am single and I know I need to move on because there are other guys interested in me.What is the point of involving myself with a guy who is taken and is trying to fool around with me behind his girlfriend's back?Well, here is the thing. After I told him that I am no longer going to be his side dish, he went ahead and changed his facebook status to "in a relationship". He has been in a relationship for a year and never changed it.I wonder about the timing. Seems coincidental that he went on and changed the status right after I told him I was not going to cheat with him.He went from never mentioning her, EVER and he is never on his FB to going on just to change his status. And he highlighted it so it took up the whole page.Think he is trying to get back at me in any way? This is what my gut is telling me.
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affair, facebook, has a girlfriend, move on Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): You obviously put him in his place!! It is rare to see a woman doing that these days. Where are the gals like you?
I will bet he is not used to that. So good on you!
I do think he changed the status on purpose though bc you hurt his ego. You said he is never on FB but went on to change the status. Why would he go on just to change his status if he is never on it to begin with? He seemed to have gone out of his way.
But like the other gal said, WHO CARES? He's a piece of shit and he is his girlfriend's problem now!! hahaha!
Hold your head up high and know that you can do way better than a piece of shit! And I guarantee you HE KNOWS IT!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): Thank you female anon and to all the others who posted.
Trust me, I would rather have not done the right thing, know what I mean! nudge, nudge, wink, wink...lol But at the end of the day i knew in my heart of hearts this guy was a player. i trusted my gut and refused to let him play me anymore! i am better than that!!
I am already out with a new guy who is wonderful and AVAILABLE!!!!!
Take care all!!!! xxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): Girl pat yourself on the back. For once a woman who knows her self worth! It so refreshing to read that you didn't give in to his foolishness! As far as your friend. ^^^ HIM! You can do better. I feel sorry for his poor unsuspecting girlfriend. Trust me you are not the first and you won't be the last. But at least you're not like a lot of other women crying about how bad they got hurt because they fell for the fool knowing he was taken all along. Look at it this way, one less ^^^^ you have to deal with! Go get yourself a drink and celebrate! You did well! Best of luck to you in the future!
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 Who cares? For once a woman did the right thing and told a guy who is already seeing someone to take a hike, that you're not going to be anyone's "side dish". Now own it! And stop spending so much time worrying or looking at his facebook page. He has a girlfriend. Who cares what he does at this point. You said yourself you need to focus on men who are available to you, and that is exactly what you need to do and nothing else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): Sure it's possible a guy would change his status because you messed with his HUGE EGO!!!He wants to show you that your turning him down has no affect on him cause he's got someone.Men can be just as calculating if they are hurt. It isn't just women.I have had guys do some pretty over the top things to me because they are hurt.Trust me men are like little kids AND worse when they don't get their way.But it's not always a male/female thing. Depends on the person really.Seems awfully coincidental that he changed the status after you turned him down.My guess is that you really did hurt him or his great big male ego!!Tell him to stuff it. Not the kind of guy you would want to be with. Sympathies to the girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (29 September 2012):
Honestly, changing a facebook status to get revenge on another person is something a woman would do out of anger. Not something a man would do.
I honestly believe that the timing of you confronting him and his change to his relationship status on facebook is a coincidence. It is very likely that his girlfriend made him change his status to in a relationship because he has been in a relationship with her for over a year.
Please block him on facebook and stop stalking him online. Right now, your emotions are raw. You read too much into how he treated you (you thought he was interested in romance and he was only interested in having a woman on the side) and now you are reading too much into his actions and assuming they have something to do with you, when they most likely do not.
You are projecting your feelings of hurt, rejection, and anger onto him. What this means is you feel like he changed the status update because it is something you would do if you were in his position. Men are rarely this maniulative.
I suggest you take time away from facebook and explore a hobby that takes you outside. Maybe you could join a dating website?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 September 2012):
 I wouldn't speculate why he did what he did, however I think you did the right thing is telling him you don't want to be his sloppy seconds.
Honestly, if you have feeling for him I would suggest you cut the contact with him. HE isn't being a friend. A friend might tease and flirt a little but a FRIEND doesn't try and make you someone he can USE, a place to park his dick when he feels like it.
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