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*asschick

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How do I deal with my 12 year old daughters friend?

Q.   It's not love question, but something that's really troubling me, and it seems like there is no way out of this situation. My daughter is 12. She has a best friend for the past 6 years, a girl that they used to go to school with. The fact is th...

A.   8 August 2012: Here are some things I would try if I were you. 1) When your daughter asks if she can invite this friend over, say "Oh, it's not a good day, we're going to the movies, or the beach or to grandma's...Maybe another time." Then just dodge her for ... (read in full...)

Why hasn't my boyfriend divorced his ex wife yet?

Q.   I'm in a fairly new relationship of about four months with a wonderful guy, and it's probably the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. We hardly have cause to fight, we don't live in each others' pockets or see too little of each other and we ...

A.   8 August 2012: Only he can answer if there's a particular reason why he hasn't divorced his wife. So you'll need to ask him. Just bring it up non-challantly; "So what's up with you and your wife. Are you planning to get divorced at some point?....I'm just ... (read in full...)

If a girl tells a guy that she loves him and his reply is, "You, too," what does it mean?

Q.   So, with this being a question regarding the male mind (the most confusing universe in existence), I'm really looking for opinions from some guys. However, if there are any girls who have performed miracles and managed to actually understand what ...

A.   8 August 2012: It clearly means he's not comfortable saying "I love you" back to you, so this way he saves face, he thinks he's saving your feelings and eventually he'll figure it out down the road.... (read in full...)

Am I wrong for hating my mother right now?

Q.   First of all, I should explain a little bit about my current situation: I am from Mexico, my mother is a US Citizen. My life-long dream has been to live in NYC so ever since I was 12, I've been asking her to get my US Citizenship because as a daught...

A.   8 August 2012: You should never hate your mother. You can be angry with her. You can be sad, disappointed and upset. But never, ever hate her.... (read in full...)

Are my parents right about it being to late for me to get back into sports?

Q.   After watching the olympics I have felt really inspired to get back into sports! When I was younger I used to love sports that I actually was on every sports team at my school and I was really competitive, I remember every year I would always win ...

A.   8 August 2012: You are still plenty young to play sports. Why not go for it? There's absolutely no reason you can't join a volleyball team, or a softball team, tennis, racquetball or just join a gym and take up aeorbics. Life is motion and personally, I think ... (read in full...)

Is checking partners phone wrong

Q.   So there has been a lot of talk in magazines etc about Jools wanting to check Jamie Oliver's texts....and I have to say whilst it's wrong I can kind of understand it... My boyfriend has always been very private about his phone, to the point that h...

A.   8 August 2012: He's hiding something!... (read in full...)

Long distance stringing along?

Q.   Met a guy 6 months ago, he knew I was moving West in a few months he fell in lone with me and I fell for him too. We spent 4 months together every night then I left for Nevada. We are 1700 miles apart he calls or web cam daily, says he misses me ...

A.   8 August 2012: Sounds like a long string to me.... (read in full...)

My ex and her friends have turned my new girlfriends life into a living hell

Q.   Okay so I dated this girl for a while and we even got engaged. We broke up because I made a horrible mistake. I wasn’t attracted to her and I didn’t love her, I proposed because I thought it was the right thing to do. When I realized that it was ...

A.   2 August 2012: Your ex is clearly trying to sabatoge your relationship and posing as a "friend" grants her the right to be on the "inside" in which to do the most damage. Do not respond to her messages, her phone calls and if she turns up on your doorstep don'... (read in full...)

I can't believe he'd behave like that in front of me!

Q.   What do I do with this relationship of thirteen years? My ongoing saga with my bf played out on a night we were out for a couple of drinks last week when on the way home he suggested going to another bar. We were having a good time talking to ...

A.   2 August 2012: If I had a dime for every time my b/f said or did something that totally offended me while we were out drinking, I'd be a rich woman. Having said that, some men have a hard time seeing themselves in a committed relationship when marriage isn't ... (read in full...)

I love her but how can I trust her? I've caught her doing things twice!

Q.   What do I do? My girlfriend was acting suspiciously. I knew something wasn't right. Anyway I caught her on a dating website chatting to guys! We didn't fight about it. We talked and she told me how sorry she was. She told me she was going to clo...

A.   30 July 2012: She's guilty of schmoozing other men behind your back and this is somehow your fault? Boy, that's a good one. Talk about shiftin the blame to someone other than yourself, so you never have to take responsibility for your own dishonesty. You may be ... (read in full...)

I feel like the third wheel in the relationship

Q.   This is kind of an awkward situation for me. My boyfriend has a four year old son. Well anyways, he brings me his ex's house with him to visit his son. I find it rather awkward to be hanging around an ex of his all of the time. I don't really talk ...

A.   23 July 2012: Just tell him and the sooner the better. Just be calm and rational about it and he shoukd understand.... (read in full...)

He seems distanced from me since he met her!

Q.   My bf and I have been together 2.5 years now. We both in our early to mid 20s. He lives in a houseshare and I live with parents. Around 3 weeks ago my bf was sent to work 100 miles away and the company has put him in a hotel. He works 5 days and...

A.   23 July 2012: Something is definately up and I'd be willing to bet she has something to do with it. I think he's attracted to her and you are less appealing right now... (read in full...)

Why would a man not talk about his girlfriend and keep her a secret?

Q.   I would like to know why a guy would not talk about his girlfriend around you. Ever. If you ask him a question about her, he will answer with one word, go silent and change the subject. He goes out of his way to tell you that he is alone on a Friday ...

A.   23 July 2012: He's a player! And I feel sorry for his girlfriend. Ask yourself if you would appreciate being treated like this? I would not give him anymore attention.... (read in full...)

Should I contact an ex who's been in an accident?

Q.   My ex-girlfriend broke up with me almost a year ago. At first, I had a hard time dealing with it and even tried to get her back a couple of times to my own detriment. I finally gave up and haven't spoken to her in several months. Yesterday, a mutual...

A.   23 July 2012: Just because you are no longer in love with her doesnt mean the "human side of you is not capable of feeling compassion for another person who has suffered a tragedy. I see nothing wrong with paying her a visit. But if you are currently in a ... (read in full...)

Should we just let the china plate go?

Q.   This probably is not the most appropriate place to ask this, but: My wife took a plate of cookies to some new neighbors. They weren't home, so she left a note. They haven't returned the plate, and it's been a week or two. To make matters worse th...

A.   23 July 2012: They probably think the plate was part of the gift and have no idea they are suppose to return it so if the plate is special she should just ask for it back. But in the future when you bring goodies to people or events you do not know that well it's ... (read in full...)

I think she is manipulating me!

Q.   I've been married for 4 years. My wife and I have an 18-month old daughter. We had our ups and downs when we were engaged, but we worked it out. Lately, I feel like she's being emotionally manipulative, and purposely trying to confuse me. ...

A.   23 July 2012: Manipulative? No. But having difficulty finding things to with you that would include your daughter yes. The two of you dont seem to have alot in common. The marriage is struggling because you each need alittle independence without feeling ... (read in full...)

What's up with this guy's behaviour? Why does he never mention his girlfriend?

Q.   Hi everyone. I have a simple question: Why would a guy go out of his way to tell me he spent the night alone on a Friday night. He fell asleep on the couch. Is it possible he has a reason for telling me this? Because he volunteered it to me...

A.   16 July 2012: He is the worst kind of guy. He's in a relationship yet he's secretly keeping his options open. And I'd be willing to bet his girlfriend has no clue. She thinks he comes home to her every night, listens sympathetically to how his day went, how much ... (read in full...)

What does your boyfriend do when you are sick?

Q.   I am curious to see what your boyfriend does when you are sick/unwell. Do they check in to see how you are? i have been off work for 5 days with the flu which is going around pretty badly where i am. I rarely take time off work (last year i pro...

A.   14 July 2012: Most guys really suck at care taking. Because here's the thing; most guys want to be left alone when they're sick. Most. They don't want to be babied. They don't like feeling helpless or dependent on someone. Sometimes they get embarrassed, like ... (read in full...)

My relationship is suddenly falling apart and I don't know how to stop it.

Q.   About one year ago, I was the happiest I had ever been! I had fallen in love with a mysterious man. He was constant smiles for months. We made love at every given opportunity. He complimented me and bragged about me to everyone. We both spent our ...

A.   14 July 2012: It appears that he cannot stop himself from taking on everyone else's burden. I suspect he is feeling trapped beneath the load he has created. His life is no longer fun and carefree. Is he driven by duty? Guilt? I do not know, but he seems to have ... (read in full...)

Is my girlfriend too good to be true or do people like her really exist?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year and a half now and get on so well in every area of our relationship. Am I just seeing her through rose-tinted glasses or do people like her really exist? I keep thinking something's boun...

A.   13 July 2012: I think you have been truly blessed! Thank the good Lord and don't let this one go.... (read in full...)

Should I help him find closure?

Q.   My fiance of 2 years has an annoying habit. We otherwise have got a great relationship going and he tells me all the time that he loves me. He does things for me without my asking, and is very sweet. But this habit of his is discussing his ex ...

A.   13 July 2012: By all means, it seems like the only way to break this pattern. Tell him to sit down and write each of them a letter, telling them how angry he is about the way things ended; or the fact that he never got to say his side of the story during the ... (read in full...)

Seriously considering having an affair.

Q.   I'll get straight to the point. I am very seriously considering having an affair. My husband has turned into a complete dead fish in the bedroom. He used to be very excited about me, he used to love to touch me, kiss me, lick me, sleep with me. He ...

A.   8 July 2012: It will never be just for the sex. Affairs are like sneaky little cancers that are growing beneath the surface. You think you can compartmentalize the sex thing with someone else, but the cancer/guilt and truth will start eroding away at all the ... (read in full...)

Is it realistic to have an ambition to be a porn star? Or is my depression affecting my judgement?

Q.   I wish I looked like a pornstar I feel like my life would be so much better if I was beautiful, who out there is beatiful but got dumped? I need to know it doesn't matter, I am so depressed....

A.   8 July 2012: Being beautiful does not prevent you from being dumped. You need not to look any further than your favorite movie star to discover that it does not matter how much money you make, how gorgeous you are you may still get dumped. Think Jennifer Aniston ... (read in full...)

How do we tell our parents about this unplanned pregnancy?

Q.   So...going from my previous posts, we have established my girlfriend of 3 months is pregnant and is refusing to have a termination or place the child up for adoption. She is 19 and i am 24. Lou hasn't met my parents yet, i have met her family l...

A.   6 July 2012: Sit both of her parents down together and tell them straight up but you better be prepared to tell them what the 'the plan' is for your future, which might include you reassuring them that you plan to do the right thing and marry their daughter ... (read in full...)

He blew up at me, and now he's ignoring me! Did I get played?

Q.   a wealthy farmer in my small town who is accused of being a player chased me 4 a long time and sent txts back and 4th for month and half. i kept turnin him down cuz of his rep and we have gotten into little disputes b4 ever going out. he ...

A.   6 July 2012: His behavior is a little odd. I think he's hiding something.... (read in full...)

Do employers look at college transcripts?

Q.   I'm going to be a 4th year in university. I attend a reputable business school but I'm a C-average student. B-average within my GE classes. Do employers look at grades? Unfortunately I chose my major when I didn't know what I want so I'm not ...

A.   6 July 2012: Most employers do not check transcripts. They are usually more concerned about background checks, which might reveal if you've had any prior arrests or convictions. That's way more important to most employers than whether or not you made a C in ... (read in full...)

My wife is offended that I don't want cigarette smoking in our new home. What do I do?

Q.   So, me and my wife have this disagreement, it feels like tit-for-tat in alot of ways, so, what do you think? A while ago, we decided to buy a home, and i was planning to give her a puppy, she loves them, who doesn't right? But today, she dropped...

A.   6 July 2012: Your wife is somewhat passive-agressive. But you should still continue to stand your ground about the smoking in the house and not allow anyone to do this. It's not only stinky when done inside, but if it poses a health risk to you personally then ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't my husband's family recognize me?

Q.   My 45 year old step-daughter forgot my Birthday again.I have been with her father for almost 7 years,we are married for 1.5 year.I was trying to do my part to be a good grandmother for her children.We even took her children with us to our honeymoon ...

A.   2 July 2012: Up until that night, are you sure she even knew when your birthday was? I know nothing about your husband; how long ago he was married to her mother; or what happened in their relationship that might be causing an underlying "forgetfulness" on her ... (read in full...)

Husband of 28 years cheated with one of our friends before marriage. I just found out and somehow I'm the bad person in all of this!

Q.   My husband of nearly 28 years betrayed me. He slept with one of our 'best friends' while we were living together (before marriage). I did not know this. Had I had known I would have left him. Over the course of 15 years she became emotionally ...

A.   2 July 2012: Well she did go to your husband for support. Perhaps it's time for you to chat it up with her husband and tell all. Just know that he may not side with you in quite the same way because you do not share a sexual past with her husband. So it could ... (read in full...)

I want to be sexy for my guy but don't have the money for new clothes

Q.   Hey! Im gonna be spending some intimate time with my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and almost 2 months (yay!) Well im looking for some lingerie ideas but i cant really go out and buy anything so im trying to use some clothes that I a...

A.   2 July 2012: For most guys, naked is pretty sexy and well....free.... (read in full...)

Should I relocate to end a LDR?

Q.   what are the pro's and con's of moving in with your loved ones? can anyone share there experiences, and is this something that wil be good for long term effect or short? i want my relo to last i am in a sort of LDR (long distance) but unsure if we...

A.   2 July 2012: That all depends on where you see this relationship going? If you are not sure he is "the one" I recommend you not move in, but just keep your options open. But if your feelings are strong, you will have to advance to the next step if you want ... (read in full...)

My LDR says he does not love me but has feelings for me. Is that enough and is it OK?

Q.   Hi, Do you think its OK that your LDR boyfriend whom you see every other week still doesn't love you but has feelings for you? We met online and have been dating for 6 months? I'm the longest girlfriend his ever had and his 28 years...

A.   2 July 2012: I don't think the relationship will ever advance, nor will he ever fall in love with you as long as it remains LDR. It's that simple. If you want to know how he really feels figure out how the two of you can live in the same town/or same house and ... (read in full...)

Do I leave the man I love and return to a life I hate?

Q.   I need some help with a choice i have to make. I have no idea what to do so please help me. I had a boyfriend for a year and a half. Lets call him X. We were really close. I moved in with him and his family because i was having trouble at home....

A.   2 July 2012: Don't go back with X. If he offs himself he is the one who is responsible for that, not you. Don't necessarily go off with Y either though. Remember he's married and you are walking into another illusion, that's headed for another big ... (read in full...)

He left his wife for me but misses his children

Q.   I fell in love with a married man. We are right for each other. He left his wife and children and moved in with me, but told his wife it was a trial separationn and she has no clue what he has been doing. Now a few months in, he has become depre...

A.   2 July 2012: Rather than go back to his wife why couldn't he just plan more outings with his kids. If it's truly just the kids he's missing, he needs to make arrangements to be active in their lives. Just because the marriage is not working out, does not mean he ... (read in full...)

My ex has an eating disorder and I am uncertain as to how I can help her!

Q.   I was dating a girl for over a year. While dating her she developed an eating disorder. The issue is complicated by the fact that we both run for a college cross country and track team. She experienced great success as the eating disorder got worse. ...

A.   2 July 2012: Part of her disorder may have something to do with the fact that she doesn't feel she "deserves" good things. She may feel she doesn't "deserve" to eat like normal people. she doesn't "deserve" to have a good boyfriend and be happy. All of her ... (read in full...)

She says she loves me yet she doesn't want to walk out of her bad marriage

Q.   I have a lady who I have known for 20 some years,she is the wife of an ex-friend, who I had never gotten to know, because of him, he was real jealous and possessive. Well out of the blue he decided to cheat on her, she came to see me one day and ask ...

A.   1 July 2012: Quite possibly she just doesn't share the same feelings for you that you have for her. Just because she has a crappy marriage does not mean she wants to settle for a man whom she is not attracted to. She has made friends with you but she may not ... (read in full...)

She says she loves me yet she doesn't want to walk out of her bad marriage

Q.   I have a lady who I have known for 20 some years,she is the wife of an ex-friend, who I had never gotten to know, because of him, he was real jealous and possessive. Well out of the blue he decided to cheat on her, she came to see me one day and ask ...

A.   1 July 2012: Quite possibly she just doesn't share the same feelings for you that you have for her. Just because she has a crappy marriage does not mean she wants to settle for a man whom she is not attracted to. She has made friends with you but she may not ... (read in full...)

It makes me mad they weren't interested before I lost weight!

Q.   I have lost alot weight over the past few months and have really changed my look and how I dress. One of my motivations in losing weight was that I was hoping to meet someone, and sure enough now I have started to get a bit of attention from guy...

A.   1 July 2012: You can always decline their offers. It might better to date someone who doesn't work in your office or building anyhow. A fresh start. Someone who doesn't know who you used to be. Only who you are right now. You lost the weight because you wanted ... (read in full...)

There is nothing left between us but her abuse ....

Q.   I have been in a relationship for over twenty years and we have three children, the youngest is eight. My partner is financially dependent on me, yet she treats me appallingly. It is no exaggeration to say that everything she says to me is critical ...

A.   1 July 2012: Leave. The kids will survive and they will see a much happier you when they come to visit. They will eventually figure out why you left as they get older. Get out now while you still have the strength to find someone new.... (read in full...)

She doesn't get 'wet' before sex, is it me?

Q.   I have been dating a girl and mostly things are fine but i have a bit of an issue with sex. The problem is that my girlfriend does not get 'wet' very easily. I usually initiate sex and we have it pretty regularly... 3 times a week. When using...

A.   27 June 2012: It's a little like EDS sometimes when you want it to happen it just won't. Try some flavored lube. It tastes and smells better than traditional lubes. This is a plus for your fingers and your tongue. ... (read in full...)

He shouts in his sleep, should I tell him what I hear?

Q.   Hi there, My boyfriend often has angry dreams at night. Her figits which I why I wake up, then he breathes deeper and faster and then starts shouting and swearing. sometimes its at his dad (his parents are divorced a long time ago) and sometim...

A.   27 June 2012: He can't very well control what's going on while he sleeps and it sounds like he's got alot of repressed agression and anger that comes out when he's asleep. I agree, you need to be very careful that he doesn't start punching the nearest thing (you) ... (read in full...)

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