| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Should I give both of us another chance? Or not bother?
Q. Hi everyone. I have this ex who i was with 2 years ago. We met and everything was great so much that we moved together in 3 months so we could be closer, he lived in another city. From that moment on he gradually changed and was becoming cold, ...
A. 16 June 2018: Trust your instincts because if you feel that nothing has changed then it hasn't. You know at some level that it's going to end in a disaster yet again. You know what they say...fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
... (read in full...)
My friend is upset with me and I am not sure what to do to mend our relationship!
Q. Four months back one of my high school friend got married. We have been friends from last 12 years. She is a very nice lady but she was there for me in my hard times. we always had back of each other. She married her boyfriend even though she was ...
A. 16 June 2018: Don't do anything because you haven't said anything wrong. Friendship is a two-way street but right now the way she's going, it's all about her. She's old enough to realise her mistake and if she doesn't then too bad. The more you apologize, the now ... (read in full...)
All couples argue..But where do we draw a line?
Q. My dear other half thinks his verbal abuse is just an arguement and it would be if I would agree to that. But I know there is more to it than that and it destroys me as the pattern repeats with increasing frequency. He cant see that its not a c...
A. 14 June 2018: Arguments should be healthy and shouldn't be made just to prove a point. It's good to hear both perspectives but it should be dignified. No name calling, no bringing up the past, no being petty and no dragging it out beyond the conversation. ... (read in full...)
I had a dream that my husband's best friend kissed me, and now I need help clearing my head
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been married for three years and just found out I have a child on the way. I have a very loving and kind husband who bends over backwards for me. I love him dearly. Now, DH has a best friend that I've met only a handful of times. T...
A. 13 June 2018: Just because you're married doesn't mean you can't have a crush on someone! Don't be so hard on yourself and stop blaming yourself. You know nothing is going to come out of this, you know you're not looking for an affair and neither is he.
Hey i... (read in full...)
How do you know if you're meant to be together forever?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years, lived together for almost 3 years of that. He's my best friend and we've spoken openly about marriage and kids. Anyway, my question is, how do you know if you're really meant to be together fore...
A. 12 June 2018: It's not bad that you're questioning the relationship because it just goes to show that there's always room for improvement.
You know OP, I have always been a very firm believer in travelling, seeing the world, experiencing other cultures... (read in full...)
She has a guy friend stay over!
Q. I am dating someone and have been for 4 or 5 months now. She is having a guy friend stay over, which makes me uncomfortable on a level of respect. I have stayed at another girls place with a previous gf and was told by family that this shouldn't of ...
A. 11 June 2018: Why can't he stay in a hotel? What does she have to say in her defence when you ask her this? ... (read in full...)
How should I handle finding these texts?
Q. Some back story: My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. Aside from a few normal bumps and turns in the road, our relationship has been quite a breeze. We started off in a very unconventional way, though. I actually had a fling ...
A. 8 June 2018: In situations where you're questioning the relationship, ask yourself where you see yourself long-term. Do you think you could go on to marry this guy? Have kids with him? Trust him to give you a safe and happy home?
If yes then look at mend... (read in full...)
Am I rushing things, I've never had a long distance relationship before.
Q. So I’m in an unfamiliar dating situation and looking for advice (apologies for the long story below!) Back in January, I matched with a guy on a dating app. He was from my hometown and we had mutual friends, but we’d never come across each othe...
A. 3 June 2018: Ok so here's my take on it.
If he were as into you or into the budding/potential relationship that you two have, he would have scheduled time to be with you rather than with his friends.
You are far more emotionally invested into this than h... (read in full...)
How to deal with breakups when you suffer from anxiety
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for several years. We love each other very much but probably aren't the best match for each other. I would like to consider breaking up, but I have anxiety and it makes everything difficult 10x harder. I'm scared of ...
A. 1 June 2018:
You need to do what's right for you and if being with this guy is not right then you have to let him go. Just because you are an anxious person doesn't mean that you drag on and on in the relationship even though you know its not working out.
... (read in full...)
Been dating for 4 years but an old flame has returned, and so have the feelings.
Q. Hi everyone, I've got a serious relationship problem I really need some help with! I have been with my boyfriend for four years. He's caring, kind, affectionate and I really do love him. However, our relationship lacks passion and we have little s...
A. 1 June 2018: I'm not going to repeat what the others have rightly said but I'm just going to ask you a very simple question. Do you see yourself being with this boyfriend in the next 5-10 or even 15 years? Do you see yourself getting married to him, having kids ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wants to meet him for coffee!
Q. My boyfriend asked me if I would be okay if he met his ex for coffee. His ex reached out to him wanting to catch up while she is in town for some official business. My boyfriend's ex ended their relationship a year ago and is currently seeing ...
A. 30 May 2018: I'm surprised that he even felt the need to ask you!
I don't think you can see what's going on here but either way you'll end up being the bad guy. If you say yes and he goes and then comes and tells you whatever they "caught up" about and you ... (read in full...)
Should I lie and say the baby is his?
Q. Ive made a mess but now ive got to grow up and sort it out. Me and my 'ex'boyfriend had a break , we didnt say what each other can or cant do and if we were going to get back together. I had a feeling he was seeing someone else but just left him to ...
A. 28 May 2018: Please tell him the truth so you can live in peace knowing that you did the right thing. You can't keep up a lie like this forever. What will you do when the baby looks nothing like him? When there's a medical emergency and then things stumble ... (read in full...)
My fiancé is acting different during sex! Is this normal?
Q. I am 29 and a fitness instructor and fiance he is 32 and is a financial analyst. We have a good sex life just til now. Foreplay he was never that much into it but it would still happen. Lately, foreplay is non-existent. Lately, there has be...
A. 26 May 2018: How are things with him otherwise? I don't really get a "nice guy" vibe about this man from reading about him. Is he whiney in general?
I almost feel like he's pushing you away and giving you reasons to leave him. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask for the money again or just let it go and block her?
Q. Hi everyone. I know this lady for few years and I can’t call her my friend but we hangout for a coffee sometimes. I find her cheap, not that she is not spending but just her attitude towards money. 2 months ago she was asking to attend an event ...
A. 18 May 2018: I don't think you should let it go. It's your money, ask her, hunt her down, don't take no for an answer till you get it. Once you do, THEN block her.
I think she's just one of those cheap people who think they can get away with not paying. Send... (read in full...)
I wish he would look at me and see I'm drowning, instead of calling me lazy, or belittling my parenting, cooking, whatever.
Q. I have a laundry list of concerns that I have really no one to turn to with. So I moved across the country to be with my bf and so our family could be together. 2 and a half yrs and 2 babies later, I'm unhappy. It hurts to admit. I have a roof ove...
A. 16 May 2018: Where will you go if you leave? Shouldn't you have thought of this before having your third child with the "controlling, verbally abusive, emotionally stunted brat". Having one accidental pregnancy is understandable to an extent but you went on to ... (read in full...)
How should we take this strange comments from a male boss?
Q. Apologies that this a job-related rather than relationship-related question. Our male boss at work has made a few comments lately to female employees that I find a bit questionable, but I would like a second opinion on what these remarks say abou...
A. 15 May 2018: First comment- it was/is absolutely none of his business why she doesn't wear her hair down. Creepy and unnecessary comment. Trying to come across as over familiar.
Second- let's put the comment aside, I don't really understand who goes home bet... (read in full...)
He ended our friendship because I loved him as a friend only. He sent me a message yesterday after 3 months. Do I reply?
Q. Me and my ex guy friend have been friends for years. He started to have feelings for me and he did confess to me that he wants to be more than friends. However, i don't see us being together and i dont share the same feelings with him. I rejected ...
A. 15 May 2018: Ego? For what? You said you weren't interested and he respected that and wanted time to heal. He was a good friend for years, he never bothered you when you rejected him and he hasn't been anything but a gentleman till now. Maybe he feels that he's ... (read in full...)
Why his sudden change in behaviour?
Q. I met a guy through mutual friends age took my number . We had an amazing first long conversation on call followed by a couple of video calls sessions . There were no romantic talks but we were planning to meet up. I agree he is busy but he used to ...
A. 13 May 2018: Don't do anything. You've put your cards on the table and he's not interested. You're obviously not going to grovel and ask him why he isn't calling.
Look there's no such thing as too busy. If a guy likes you then he will do anything and I mean a... (read in full...)
Our teenager's actions are causing problems in our marriage
Q. I guess what we are experiencing with our 15 year old son is not much different than what every parent of teenagers has been since eternity, but it is still stomping us, and leaving utterly frustrated. Our son has stopped being interested in ...
A. 6 May 2018: The title of this post is misleading... It's more about the problems with your son than with your marriage.
Anyway.
Who amongst the two of you- your wife or you- is closer to your son? That person needs to talk to him when the time is righ... (read in full...)
Partner of 5 years lied about a 'friendship and now I feel like I'm blowing things out of proportion
Q. Hi agony aunts and uncles. I've been a long time reader and love seeing your advice and views. I never once dreamed I'd be writing in and asking for advice. So where to begin. It's currently 2.30 am where I am and this has just happened in the ...
A. 5 May 2018: If it was nothing then why did he lie to you? Lying means that you're doing something wrong and hence you feel the need to hide it. If it were indeed that harmless then why did he lie? You are absolutely justified in feeling hurt because of the ... (read in full...)
My uncle says I remind him of my abusive father
Q. I feel like ive caused a massive family rift by asking a silly question. Ive had a difficult relationship with my uncle for many of my adult years. He is often very sullen and angry around me. I get short snippy answers to anything i say. He is 48 ...
A. 30 April 2018: Goldie, there's really no reason for you to cry! The man is a sad, pathetic human being...48, perpetually angry, sullen and living with his parents...his resume speaks for itself. He needs someone helpless to vent his frustrations out on and as it ... (read in full...)
What does meeting a soulmate feel like? It that what this is?
Q. So this may be a bit out there, but here goes... A few weeks ago I was introduced to a guy by a friend who had been talking this guy up to me for months. I was crazy anxious about the whole thing, because I don't like having attention put on me li...
A. 28 April 2018: No, I wouldn't read too much into it. There's no such thing as soulmates. It's nice to romanticize about such things in novels and movies but don't get carried away by all this in real life. If this were a movie then he would have swooped you into ... (read in full...)
My best friend tried to kiss my girlfriend.
Q. Hey guys. Last night my best friend (of like 8 years) tried to kiss my fiance (of 10 years). We were all out drinking, but I had left early because i was feeling gross. I had no trust issues leaving them. They didn't know i was there, as i had ...
A. 28 April 2018: I would be more concerned about the fact that your girlfriend was drinking for 12 hours. I don't touch alcohol and never have but my God this sounds like a problem! Today it was this guy, tomorrow of could be someone else who tries to take advantage ... (read in full...)
He earns three times more but wants to split the bills 50/50
Q. my boyfriend has recently asked me to move in with him. we had a conversation about our finances and his expectation of what i should contribute to the household expenses. He wants to split everything 50/50. We got into an argument over this because ...
A. 27 April 2018: There's something very weird about the way he's with money. It is almost bizarre that he's nitpicking to such an extent about the maid... And it is beyond disrespectful that he's telling you to either chip in or be the maid yourself! That statement ... (read in full...)
Long time friend wants to be more than friends.
Q. Hello agony aunts. Im facing some troubles and dealing with my guy friend's behavior towards me. My guy friend is being cold, sarcastic and mean to me in the past few weeks. Okay well let me start with this, he actually loves me, he told me before ...
A. 26 April 2018: I just wanted to add, that the reason he keeps coming back to you despite you wanting to end the friendship is because he doesn't want to let you go, nor can he stay away from you. This is what I meant by obsessive behaviour. He's also seen that ... (read in full...)
Long time friend wants to be more than friends.
Q. Hello agony aunts. Im facing some troubles and dealing with my guy friend's behavior towards me. My guy friend is being cold, sarcastic and mean to me in the past few weeks. Okay well let me start with this, he actually loves me, he told me before ...
A. 26 April 2018: While you've been friends for a long time, the friendship is effectively over OP. I hope you realise that. It's basically on life support right now and just a matter of time before you pull the plug.
This guy is being an ass just because you have... (read in full...)
He earns three times more but wants to split the bills 50/50
Q. my boyfriend has recently asked me to move in with him. we had a conversation about our finances and his expectation of what i should contribute to the household expenses. He wants to split everything 50/50. We got into an argument over this because ...
A. 26 April 2018: Don't move in with him if money is already a factor. He's technically not wrong in saying he wants things split half and then again, no one is forcing you to move in. Just tell him that you can't afford it. He shouldn't pay more just because he ... (read in full...)
I offered an adult student help, now he constantly contacts me.
Q. I would like to preface my question by saying that this isn't exactly a "relationship" question, but I am reaching out for advice because I know that some of you are really qualified to give advice about interactions with people, in general. I te...
A. 26 April 2018:
You're written,
"People tend to spit in the face of God, and take their blessings for granted. You have an advantage that refugees don't. You came here with your parents. You were not forced to flee. So you can return to your country and not face... (read in full...)
I offered an adult student help, now he constantly contacts me.
Q. I would like to preface my question by saying that this isn't exactly a "relationship" question, but I am reaching out for advice because I know that some of you are really qualified to give advice about interactions with people, in general. I te...
A. 24 April 2018: While it's good to be nice, it's not that good to be naive! People around you warned you about him for a reason. You can plead his case all you want and say that he's an immigrant and it must be terrifying for him without a support system, but keep ... (read in full...)
My well-connected but broke boyfriend has 4720 friends on Facebook but won’t add me!
Q. I probably know the answer to this question, but if anyone has some thoughts, I'm in a long distance relationship with a much older man who is very accomplished and well-connected (flat broke, but always has younger women chasing him). We see each ...
A. 23 April 2018: Do you realise how immature this sounds? You're a 30 year old woman, you should know by now how superficial the world of Facebook is! You're boyfriend is even worse... What is an older man doing on Facebook adding caterers and dishwashers (no ... (read in full...)
Did she sell the phone I gave her? I regret how our interactions ended!
Q. I am an Expatriate aged 39 and good looking working in a rather 3rd world country with good financial. I met a girl in a family friendly bar. After few visits at the bar, i took a liking to her as she was unlike the rest that goes around flirting ...
A. 22 April 2018: How can you be in love with her when you don't even know her, you don't speak the same language, you don't even know what she wants and you've hardly had any meaningful interactions? This isn't love, it's lust.
You're a 39 year old man! Act your... (read in full...)
My boyfriend, I and his so called lesbian friend who's slept with him, fancies him and doesn't like me. What do I do?
Q. Been seeing a guy for 7months now. Started off casually, us both not looking for a relationship, but it naturally progressed into one that we both are enjoying. We have had to redefine and communicate a lot about what our needs and expectations are ...
A. 21 April 2018:
"Don't be jealous, shes just a friend".
Your boyfriend thinks that you have the IQ of a rock if he expects you to believe this utter nonsense.
Because "just friends" don't sleep with each other, don't cuddle in bed together, are not je... (read in full...)
Is he oblivious or selfish?
Q. Hello agony aunts and uncles It’s never a good sign when I appeal to the internet but here goes. I fell crazy in love with someone but he had a lot of financial issues. I still dated him and loaned him money which he did repay me for. Now that he’...
A. 21 April 2018:
Wait a minute! So he had the audacity to say that you are greedy and he didn't get you a good gift because you've just been dating for a year. However, he has no problems borrowing money from you, have you washing his clothes, buying gifts for chil... (read in full...)
We're both single now and he's invited me on an adventure... is he interested?
Q. I can't believe I'm 30 years old and asking this question, but my social skills are not the greatest so here goes. Tl;dr "does he like me?" A few years ago I met this guy in passing at an event I basically strayed into while out walking around. ...
A. 20 April 2018: I think he sounds great... And he seems interested! Go for the activity that he's invited you for and see how things go.
Do let us know! ... (read in full...)
No kids, no spouse, and nearing 30.
Q. Does anyone else freak out that their hitting their thirties with no kids and husband/wife? I have tried online dating and that hasn’t worked (honestly most people I have met look for sex) and I am traditional ( I would at least like to date a b...
A. 19 April 2018: I married at 32. I met my husband most unexpectedly, had a very short courtship and we were married almost immediately.
It made me smile reading your post because the grass is always greener on the other side. You think that marriage is so roma... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is all about himself during sex, but never about me.
Q. Hello, I was hoping I could ask for some help regarding my sex life. I have a wonderful 2 year relationship with my boyfriend. Genuinely feel like I've found the one for me, I think he's amazing. However, he's the first person I've slept with...
A. 19 April 2018:
But he IS bad in bed! If it's all just about him, there's no communication and even after 2 years he doesn't know how to give you an orgasm, then he's not a good lover. And he expects you to be tactful!!
I think he just couldn't be both... (read in full...)
Should I be thankful for the little I've got?
Q. Yes, mod, I’m 17. The only person I can talk to about my depression and anxiety is my boyfriend but I’m stuck in a polygamous relationship with him and his girlfriend. However, I love him and I’m getting tired of sharing him. I just want his body ...
A. 18 April 2018: He doesn't understand how you feel because he doesn't want to, because he doesn't have any real emotions for you and because you are just a sex toy for him. He's not a nice guy OP. He's not being honest to anyone. Do you think he loves his ... (read in full...)
Why is she so attention seeking??
Q. Yesterday a 44 yr old female work colleague with 5 kids had her wisdom teeth out,she posted a post surgery selfie of her swollen face on our works fbook page, Is this pure attention seeking? She’s a quiet and good worker, invisible.. like...
A. 17 April 2018: The things that people post on Facebook! Would you believe if I told you that someone actually put up a picture of their relative's dead body with them mourning next to it! I shudder even to think about it! Next to that, a swollen face from a wisdom ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my girlfriends past?
Q. I would like to start out by saying that I consider myself very open minded. I am divorced from a 6 year marriage and am on good terms with. I have even made good friends with my ex-wife’s boyfriend and we hang out occasionally. My current ...
A. 17 April 2018: I have never understood why people talk about their sexual details of the past! It never, never helps!
I'll tell you what I think has bothered you the most. The fact that she said the sex was "good". That is something you have not been able to ... (read in full...)
My eccentric fiance's behaviour is starting to concern me
Q. Hi... I am looking for some outside advice/perspective on my relationship with my fiancé. We've been together for two years and are just recently engaged. When we first met, we clicked immediately and have been mostly insperable. I grew up in a v...
A. 16 April 2018: He probably thinks that being flashy and loud is his "thing" that sets him apart from others. Sometimes creative people can be very weird.
What does he do for a living?
Is he a good boyfriend and a good person? How does he treat you? How does he ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend left, I want to fix it but she is ignoring me.
Q. My girlfriend of 12 years has just left me. For the last 4 years we've lived together in our own place after a spell living with her family, we moved in shortly after my father passed away. I really struggled to deal with my father's passing...
A. 16 April 2018: Your ex girlfriend did something that she should have done years ago.
You cannot keep making mistakes and pretend to not know you are wrong...you are not a 2 year old child. You are completely aware of right and wrong and yet you chose to keep ... (read in full...)
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